| Username |
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 04:25 PM
.
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 04:30 PM
Ek se ek pratispardhi bhayeko tol ma euta ghazal ko pasal thaapeko, eitai pani grahak naaayekale yo chhuttai thread ma thaapne dhrishtataa gareko hun. Thap cyber jagga ogateko ma alik lajjit jajjit pani chhu hai ?
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 05:44 PM
Nepe bro,
gajal ramrari nabuje pani, dunga, thunga, dhunga, junga ko thok thak ramro lagyo :)
yor gajal padna, aaulan ni chadai aroo "LUNGA haroo" ;)
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| HahooGuru |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 06:44 PM
Wah Wah Kya Khub Chha Nepe Timro Jungaharuma.
--Excellent indeed.
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| jayahos |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 07:42 PM
NEPE,
This is what I found in your Gazhal.
This is a love story of a 'boy' whom I am referring as 'Our hero' and a 'girl' next to the lane who often appears in 'CHHAT'!
First stanza starts with uncertainity ...pugchhau.n ki ke thaha...The Our hero tries attract attention by distributing lucrative dreams which he is not sure of. Teen age phenomenon!
It seems the 'girl' does not give a damn...now 'our hero' turns more realistic and asks for a favor....now het does not distribute dreams of any TUNGO ...the thing he is looking for from the 'girl' is to care him...'CHHEKA'
The girl responds...and passes a casual note....'KE CHHA?'..Our hero..once again turns poetic and describes his pain. Asks for the girl to know his real heart.
Unfortunately, the girl gets married to someone else. Once when she was returning to her 'MAITA', 'Our hero' stops and curses her ....'in the days of pain, you will realize my true love...' Fourth stanza is about all this!
Each of these stanzas does represent a gap of 1 or 2 year or even more. Days passes by.And their appears another girl in 'CHHAT'. 'Our hero' - afraid not to be called 'UNKILL'- treats his 'JUNGA'.
Alas! If only had he known that is his heart that asks rendering, not JUNGA.
Jaya hos!
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| jayahos |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 07:55 PM
And Forgot to add one thing...
GOOD ONE!!
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| deep |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 08:33 PM
Nepe ji,
Khatara lagyo la gazal. I enjoyed a lot.
If you're wandering around with a smile in her (?) garden then why should she be looking for tears on flower petals in the morning?
Gham paani gham paani shyal ko bihe?
Invitation to ride on your lips boat is provocating. i would rather stick and hang around her be hooked on her pareli jal and hair thungas (?) then flow with time without them, if I could.
Sad! she should watch out for your heart.
Aba pareli jaal ra kesh ka thunga haruma na.aljhera samaya sangai ateri hudai bato lage pachhi aba junga ma kalap launu parne ni bho! tyo pani eklai!!!
Malai keshka mohak thunga haruma aljhau, baandh brahmapas jhai pareli jaal haruma
man chhaina bagna Nepe urath samaya nadima chhodera timilai eklai bagar haruma!!
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 09:57 PM
Thank you dear friends. Friends in need are friends indeed. I badly needed to promote this ghazal. Tehi bhayera laaj pachai pachai haar-guhaar mageko. I am just glad you showed up.
As I have said in the old thread, the first four shers were written a long time ago and the last one was added just now. Besides, each sher of a ghazal is usually taken as an independent poem. So, if you fail to find a continuum it is because that’s how it is. Nevertheless I appreciate sutra khojidiney efforts of Jayahos and Deepji in this ghazal. Ani GuruDev Nepele fuleka jungaharuma haleko kalap dekhera hansidinubhayekoma yo man gad gad bhayo. Oys.lai tukbandi man pareko khushi laagyo.
What else ? Oh yes, Haiku thread.ma Deepji ko ko euta haiku padhda maile yas ghazal.ko teshro sher samjheko thinye. Plagiarism nathaannu hai ?
What is a garden for
not just dews
but when flowers drop tears..
And for other reader’s ease, here are the meaning of some of the words used:
Tungo= destination
Khunga= a long and narrow funnel shaped device for fishing, usually made from bamboo sticks (niggalo kya ?)
Kaal= time
Anamya= unbendable
Gam khaanu= to ponder
Kalap= dye
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