| Sajha.com Archives | |
| Username | Post | ||||
| M.P. | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 06:36 PM
Kathmandu, Oct 8 The Sinking Nepal. Prominent member of Nepal Sadbhawana Party, Parmendra Kumar Bhagat (PKB), has been appointed as the interim Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Nepal, a news release from the palace said. PKB is thought to be very creative and pragmatic on the issues of trade, and gender and ethnic rights. He is a strong advocate of a republic. He has already served as the Secretary General of Nepal Sadbhawana Party (Tripathi) in the past. This is the first time in the history of Nepal that an individual with no naal-naatedaar in politics has been nominated for such a high ranking position. Talking to MP, our chief editor, Bhagat said, "my first priority will be to dethrone the king. He has no right to remain. In this context I should mention that he made a blunder by nominating me." Bhagat moved to the Prime Minister quarter in Baluwatar yesterday. The King has charged him of not repeating the whole oath of position. He was staring at the King while taking oath. He contended that the oath be written in some ethnic language. Also, Bhagat was not wearing the national dress on the occassion. Despite his esoteric opinions every now and then, Bhagat exercises popularity both among his peers, his supporters and some prominent members of the CPN (UML)and RPP. Bhagat will be adressing the nation tomorrow at 7pm in Khulamanch. Recorded version of his speech will be aired in the state-owned radio and television at 8 pm. Meanwhile, unable to fluorish nepotism Girija Parsad Kouwa, ex-prime minister from the ex-ruling party Half-Nepali-half-Indian Congress has committed suicide. After bringing Sailaja, Mahesh and a couple of other Koiralas to the top ranks, he was expecting Manisha Koirala, the sexy Bollywood actress, to be take the premiership. A new ray of hope seems to be elavating the happiness of Kathmanduities and Nepalis as more and more members of NC are being interrogated and are about to be put behind bars by the government's watch dog agency, CIAA. Wagle, Khadka and Gupta are being kept under inspection. RaSaSa. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 07:06 PM
Nepal King Declares Himself the President; Abolishes Monarchy! Kathmandu, Oct 8 The Sinking Nepal In a dramatic move, after nominating Paramendra Bhagat, a hard core republican to the post of Prime Minister, King Gyanendra of the Himalayan kingdom has declared himself the President of the state and announces the demolition of the constitutional monarchy. His move comes amist Maoist leader Prachanda's appeal to all the revolutionary forces to come together and work towards forming Nepal a republic. Stunned by the King's move, newly appointed Prime Minister Paramendra Bhagat applauded the ex-King. Most of the papers published from the Capital of now the republic of Nepal have published a picture of the Prime Minister throwing his hat in the air with his mouth wide open! Meanwhile, ex-prince Paras denounced Gyanendra's actions and termed them "unconstitutional". "Dad did this because he, like the ex-prime minister Deuba, was "inept" and not capable of holding the elections on time." However, most people seemed to approve the ex-King's recent move. Main opposition leader in the dissolved house of representatives, Madhav Kumar Nepal, said he was happy with the King's move. "We were in shame to live under a monarchial system with a republic agenda. Now, President [laughs, as he pronounces this word!] did exactly what we had been longing for. However, abolition of the monarchy does not seem to put the on going civil war to an end as many had anticipated. In an email sent to the Sinking Nepal, maoist chairman Prachanda stated that most of mid and far western development was under his control and would not leave it unless the new President nationalized his property. Nepal's monarchy, especially the immediate past King, have been known through out the world for smuggling and for avoiding taxes. Intelligestia, including a Harvard graduate, Ashutosh Tiwari, supported Prachanda's demand. Second leader in the maoist authority Baburam Bhattarai is scheduled to meet some prominent members of Bhagat's cabinet this Friday. Rumors are that Tiwari will get a responsible position; many speculate he will be appointed either as the chief judge at the supreme court or the chief of CIAA. Staff at the news desk of the Sinking Nepal will update tha public as news are received. RaSaSa. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 07:09 PM
All editors at the Sinking Nepal are amateurs and therfore, readers are requested to correct all gramatical and structural errors as they read by. MP Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal Republic of Nepal. |
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| ashu | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 09:17 PM
Very, very funny. I like ths stuff. Somebody's spending a lot of time at either www.satirewire.com or www.onion.com oohi "Intelligestia, including a Harvard graduate" ashu ktm,nepal |
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| NK | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 09:25 PM
No kidding! What a riot! Congratulations Param bhai. Tell Gyaney I said Hi! (with due respect to B.I.G.) |
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| Junkie | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 09:30 PM
Paramendra dai ...... hope it's not too late to tell you that you were always my best dai ..... cyber or not ..... sathya dhateke hoina ...... Ani dai ..... I want to be CEO of some .gov.np ...... Aashirbad dinu hola ...... |
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| Naresh_karki | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 09:38 PM
I would love to work with paramendra dada...I am not kidding :) |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 10:30 PM
Paschim in Nepal: Running from Gorkha-1, With Comb! Kathmandu, Oct 9 The Sinking Nepal In yet another unprecented development, Paschim, a prolific writer, reviewer and a frustrated bachelor who was recently called by the National Planning Commission of the then kingdom of Nepal to write a "dastaabej" for long term planning, has decided to go back to Nepal and run for the Member of Parliament from Gorkha constituency no.2. Paschim, who had been blatantly defending Deuba and lambashing ex-King Gyanendra in the recent turmoils, will be contesting with comb as the election symbol. Given that he has been desperately seeking a dulahi, many speculate that his comb will be a little fancier than the usual NC(Deuba) symbol! Uncomformed sources have mentioned that he has already ordered a "kala katte kaaiyo" from Calcutta, India. "I actually wanted to be the mayor of Gorkha. Bhagye le antai purayo", the 30 yrs old candidate for the house of representatives said. When our chief editor, MP, visited him this evening, Paschim was formulating campaign strategies. "Although I have spent most of my life in a foreign land, I am hoping to win the elections", he said. "After all, I have an A+ english to scare away yi sign-garna-samet-naaaune opponents!" Our chief editor expressed grave concerns to have heard Paschim singing "sora barsai umerai maa mai pani jhilke hudo hu". Hoardes of people have been gathering in Sajhapur, his temporary residence, to console him. Paschim is a big fan of the song called "Malai tehi keti chhainchha" brought into the market by a kathmandu-based band called "Three Much". "Haamlaai ta laajai marnu bhayo. Tehi khalli geet sunya sunyai garera babaal. He has switched so suddenly from Narayan Gopal to Three Much", a person who had gone to visit him said on condition of anonymity. Paschim has an untaited, patni bartaa personality. However, he, like the ex-king Gyanendra does not have a clear history. Perhaps he loathes to be related but he is the kasko-kasko-kunni-k of ex-minister Chiranjibi Wagle, who has been kept under close inspection by the CIAA. Paschim's opponents are leaving no stones unturned to derail Paschim and relate him to the corrupt minister. Paschim will be going for shopping this Saturday at 2pm with Kim Jong Kong Hong Zong Yong of Vietnam. Paschim, who said he would love to be a distant observer of national politics, was highly influenced by Ramesh Mishra's article in the recent issue of the Nepal Magazine titled "Pratyush Onta haru le Kina Rajnity Nagarne". However, his classmate Paramendra Bhagat's becoming the Prime Minister of the republic could be another factor convincing him to get wet! Here are some of the slogans Paschim will be using during his campaign: "Garib laai Sikchyaa ra Rojgaari Aamaa laai Chaiyeko chha buhari!!" "Bal bdr asikchhit bhayikana testo Ma harvard-graduate bhayikan kina aaja yesto?" "Kalkatte Kaiyo maa Chhap lagaawou Jumra, Likhaa ra chaayaa bhagaawou" RaSaSa. --The chief editor of the Sinking Nepal, MP, was highly influenced by Paschim's "Prachanda Found Dead" story. |
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| hyaterica | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 10:40 PM
MP, more power to you !!! |
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| dirk | Posted
on 08-Oct-02 11:39 PM
I think Paramendra should get Sukhdev Shah, a recently retired economist from the IMF who also hails from Janakpur to be his Finance Minister. C.K. Lal can be his Minister of Communications. What say you? |
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| Biswo | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 12:53 AM
MPji, You rock. I was sad that suddenly someone else was named as PM, but hey, I found it you were not serious:-) |
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| hyaterica | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 01:32 AM
Biswo le pani hasayo... |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:09 AM
Yo MP-ji le maaryo yaar hasayera!! Also delighted to note that my "Prachanda Found Dead" story influenced you! But quick corrections, hai: 1. I am not 30! Still years (note plural) to go before I reach that age -- yessai, don't scare away potential thitis yaar! Ahile nai ta sabai le budho bhanchhan, jhan sanchhi kai budho bhayo bhane ta jindagi barbaad! 2. If I run, I will run as an independent candidate -- have NOT defended Deuba at all, and won't join his party -- I have a dislike for that Party's Chairman, Vice-Chairman, Gen Sec and other functionaries, and ALL their wives and sons! 3. My birth place is in a village in Gorkha -1. Gorkha -2 ma ta Maobadi le maarchha -- That's Baburam's belt! 4. Comb as an election symbol is not that bad -- abibahit jhilke lai -- but I'd prefer chamkane Hulas ko Steel ko thaal! Keep it coming MP -- you ARE funny! So, will we see Gaunthali and Bhurtel emerge from your series too? :) |
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| ashu | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:26 AM
Come on, Paschim, lighten up, and let's cut this creative MP guy some slack. When you start "correcting" humor, what's there to laugh at or smile? :-) Do people complain, for instance, when cartoons of Girija do not FACTUALLY/FACIALLY resemble hu-bahu his Kodak photos? No. A satire/piece is just that: a cartoon in words, and it does take liberties with facts, and all that. But you know all this already, right? Tetti ho. oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:55 AM
Harrey!! Dherai batho nabannus na mitra Ashu...I WAS "lightening" up and joining in the fun by turning MP's light "facts" into even lighter snippets...wasn't academically "correcting" at all...looks like we have very different ways of writing and appreciating humor. |
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| ashu | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:12 AM
All right, Paschim, thik cha kura. To paraphrase that greatest (The New Yorker) writer of all time, EB White: One can analyze humor the way one analyzes a frog's innards. But the thing dies in the process. That said, let me NOT steal MP's well-deserved thunder with this digression, and request her (I assume MP is a she :-)) to post other such juicy stories from our favorite newspaper The Sinking Nepal. oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| Koko | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:20 AM
funny funny MP, Like the staring part ha ha ...keep it coming |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:20 AM
Ashu ji That is quite an assumption!!!! I would not be hasty in that dept. I have been touted as a male (by many) because of my writing style and left-field humor.... :) MP ji.... Nice! Love your Sinking Nepal. Was it salvaged from the Titanic :) |
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| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:49 AM
As Ashu is single, I don't blame him for wanting M.P. to be female. If M.P. is a female, then we can say that Ashu has scored some points. If M.P. is male, then I think Ashu's balls bounce back to him, not yielding any scores. Basketball is a tough sport if played in darkness, coz you don't know where the basket is, or if the basket is even there! |
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| ashu | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:23 AM
In the event that MP turns out to be a male, the existential question -- while I am procrastinating on a presentation I have to give tomorrow -- remains: Why is that smart, funny women with a great sense of humor, flowing writing styles and a zest for life simply not found in CatManDo? oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| Poonte | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:29 AM
Ashu, It may be either because they are not given the proper opportunities, or you are not looking hard enough! |
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| NK | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:33 AM
Why is that smart, funny women with a great sense of humor, flowing writing styles and a zest for life simply not found in CatManDo? *** Maybe you are looking too hard and too upclose? Step back, take a deep breath, close your eyes, open slowly and try to scope out the area with an easy breath and calmness. - - - Let me know if that helped. :) |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:36 AM
James Bond ji!!!! Hehehe!!! Does one get a free penality shot in that sport...??? :P What about the D area???????? You should know that most female players don't like the slam-dunk tactics and often consider it vile, ruthless and inconsiderate! :P Ashu ji; Very thought provoking question! The last I heard was that the Nepalese Intelligentia, The RNA and the Maoists chased their humor away!!! Recently heard that they (the humor) are taking refuge in the intricate threads of sajhapur. It is the 12 yrs "Incognito" banbass and isolation such as dictated to SitaRam and the Pandavas!!!! :) |
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| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:37 AM
Someone pinch me quick. Prime Minister Paramendra has been seemingly absent from this site after M.P. wrote this flattering remark on him. So is Paramendra seemingly taking a break 'Basking in Glory'? Does he want to wait and see how many more accolades he gets? Does he want to step in after the thread runs off the first page and say thank u thank u my fyans - me Paramendra the Great - second only to Alexander the Great. This is definitely an achievement for him. Now he's coming in par with Ashu himself about whom numerous such articles have been written. Well done Paramendra, but no drama please. Come out quietly and stop basking in the supposed glory. Dhichyauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:43 AM
NK My lady, You are touting ZEN!!!!! I always knew you were a smart one!! A sincere compliment! :) |
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| Deep | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:46 AM
M.P. rocks with his The Sinking Nepal. |
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| Saajan555 | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:48 AM
This thread is really funny. MP is really creative. Jame Bonds bro, u made a lot of meanings, funny ones. ahahahahahahaah................................. Pet dukhyo....... c ya 'l later |
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| Poonte | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:51 AM
Ashu took a step back... Ashu closed his eyes... Ashu took a deep breath... Ashu slowly opened his eyes.... Ashu saw...a raging Chandeshwari mai ko bhayankar roop!!!! |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:58 AM
Poonte... Ji to continue with your song!!!! Ashu Swings, Ashu falls, Ashu loses His Under Where? He say's "Me"???? Me no care!!! Chandeswori Ma, Has Another PAIR!!!! All in jest and in the spirit of Dashain!!! :) |
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| NK | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:07 AM
continuing the tradition: ashu does a double flip bows 3 ft. deep "Chandeshwori Ma!" says he "timi bina ma besahara!" Param bhai comes hattaridai "this is MA thread!" he growls "who is this 'sasu bina ko ashu?'" he billows. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:07 AM
Dear All (Paramendra on the keyboard, typing away his snippet for his old friends/colleagues from his Sajha days). If you have been reading TSN - who isn't these days - you know the news. Yes, I finally made it. E-mail me ideas for the speech I am to deliver in Tundikhel tomorrow, to be cast live on NTV, Radio Nepal, and Kathmandu FM. It will also be webcast. And send me recommendations for the cabinet and other appointments, if you will. I am particularly interested in our embassies in those parts of the world, like the Pacific Rim, EU, and US, India, of course, and China. For reasons of trade. I need people who understand trade issues intricately. I am not going to appoint people to say thank you to them for their past political favors to me. (Then he gets off the computer, deflates his mischievous smile, and sits down to write down his statement to the press.) It is my honor. I humbly accept. It is a great day for this country that finally a madhesi has made it to the top job in the country. As I prepare my final list for the cabinet, I would like to assure one and all that it will look like Nepal. Close to half my cabinet will be women, close to half will be madhesis, about 30% will be janajatis. The Deputy Prime Minister will be a woman. I have known too many Nepali Speaking High Caste Males of great intellectual acumen and practical abilities to not think of them. I have a great many friends from that background. And I am sure, for every woman, or madhesi or janajati candidate there will be equally qualified Nepali Speaking High Caste Males who will get left out. But I offer no apologies. The time for social justice is now or never. I salute the former king who has voluntarily brought the outdated institution of the monarchy to an end. I look forward to his presidency for the next five years. If his performance stays as great, and if I am still around and relevant on the political scene, I will strongly support his bid for re-election, should he choose to go for it. I am a free marketeer. There is no free market without clear property rights. Any wealth held by Gyanendra Shah and his family that had been acquired lawfully in the past will remain theirs. I will make no attempt to nationalize his property. On the other hand, it is my pleasure to note that I have appointed my cyber friend with whom I had an occasion with pakoras one Jamal afternoon and who gave me a ride on his sag-sabjee-tarkari bechne bike to Martin Chautari, the one and only Ashutosh Tiwari to head the CIAA. That was my first act as Prime Minister. He will be investigating the wealth and income of everyone in public life over the past 50 years or so, politicians and bureaucrats, congressias, panches, darbariyas and all. The budget of the CIAA will be increased 10-fold, which I hope will get repaid at least 10,000-fold through confiscation of property illegally amassed. He is to bring the work to a conclusion within five months. If he needs additional resources, he will let me know. If he needs additional legal muscle, he will let me know. I have sought the assurance of the justices of the Supreme Court on the matter. They have offered encouraging words to me. This is no witch-hunt, but a play of rule of law. I have also asked Mr. Tiwari - aka, oohi ashu - to keep his investigations public. We have decided Sajha.com to be our spokesite. I might not have the time to read everything everyone posts there, and I also understand the internet is an elitist tool in a country like ours, but it is better than not letting people, all and sundry, have open access to me. I mean, even the humble people in my hometown of Janakpur have internet access. It might cost then Rs. 10 per minute, but they have it. And I am sure the media will appreciate such open access to me. Mr. Tiwari will keep the public posted on his work. To my utmost joy my high school classmate and renowned economist Paschim will be headed homeward on the next flight from Hong Kong. He will be cashing on his massive contacts in Nepal and worldwide, especially among those on the cutting edge of knowledge, to help me focus on my number one priority: the economy. And he will be holding an ongoing, free-wheeling discussion on the national economy for the next few weeks at Sajha.com. He encourages all to participate. ....ctd |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:07 AM
Nepal is a republic. It will forever remain a democracy. The corrupt will be brought to book. Major campaign finance reform will be instituted. All parites will have to keep their books public. Down the line I might even opt for a public finacing of campaigns for the nationally recognized parties, so candidates can focus on ideas and organization work, and fund-raising is not a diversion. And, although I am a free marketeer, I am one who puts human capital at the center. Technology comes second. And finally capital. I am no capitalist. I hope to institute massive investments in education and health, the likes of which not even Cuba or Kerala might have seen. I believe in global free trade, but not unfair trade, not in not-free-enough trade. I will stand up to the World Bank/IMF if I have to. I will stand up to the global corporations and investors if need be. I will stand up to India, if need be. My point being, the Maoists need to lay down their arms. A lot of what they wanted has been given, more work will be done. I hope to unilaterally grant amnesty to all Maoists and invite the central leadership to my residence for a comprehensive talk. I invite them to join the political mainstream. Failing that, I intend to militarily crush them. We are not about to have a dictatorship of the proletariat in this country, not now, not never. If the communist ideology is so amazing, the Maoist ought to be able to convice the people to vote for the same. Gun-talk is bulleying, and I did not put up with bulleys even at high school. I have a comprehensive plan to militarily crush the Maoists in less than five months. But I don't intend to divulge it now. I am optimistic the Maoists will respond to the amnesty and the offer of talks. I would like to avoid the military option. I am for peace at almost any cost. Parliamentary elections will be held in less than six months. After peace talks with the Maoists, I hope to launch a political party, to be named Janata Dal. We will be contesting from all 205 constituencies. I already have word from many in the two Congresses with clean images, and practically most of the Sadbhavana, a few from the UML, and a ton of my friends from my high school days who are hungry to go work at the grass roots level for organizational presence. By decreee, I will be introducing a federal form of government for the coutry, to be accepted or not during a referendum to be held at the same time as the parliamentary elections. The details are still being worked out. There will be five to seven states. All parliamentary constituencies will be equal in population. In the lower house it will be first past the post. For the upper house, it will be based on the percent of votes for each national party. No more nominations to the upper house by anyone. I am busy working on my speech. I have also been seeking input from my contacts and whoever I can talk to for names to the cabinet and other appointments. Anyone many send their suggestions to me by posting their comments at Sajha.com. In the mean time I suggest those who might be curious go to some destinations on the web to get some idea about what my broad thoughts on various issues are. They might offer guidelines. But they are not road maps. My governance style will be participatory in nature. What I might have thought on a topic in the past will not necessarily be the final thought of my administration.
Wishing you a good day. Paramendra Bhagat http://www.geocities.com/paramendra |
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| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:11 AM
The Sajha Anxiety Deepens All in awe all in wonder All swooning in anticipation All intoxicated in suspense All awaiting the arrival The red carpet entry of Prime Minister Param Indra |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:13 AM
Paramendra ji "Nice" for the most part! But the congested thread links just choked my humor, femur, and busted my funnybones !!!!!!!! :( |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:14 AM
Lest the media paint me a one-sided personality, I would also like to draw their attention to some of my short stories: |
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| NK | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:20 AM
I can alrady see the future ofthe 1st Republique. Dreary, Dour, Sour and humorless. All male and no "Yin." At least there will be no "Mao" problem. The republique will be so boring everybody will be either snoozig or jumping in the Rani Pokhari. Who will even think of arming themeselves in this snoozeville? :) |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:22 AM
oh no Paramendra ji How could you be one sided personanlity??????????? You are multi-faceted, bipolar as well as multiple personality!!!! And if anyone one wants evidence of that, ask them to ask the Health minister: S(HE) will happily quelch any doubts about that (with the help of your links, threads and chains...ofcourse). :) |
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| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:23 AM
Paramendra, thanks for ending the drama. It was getting too unreal. If you pressed the refresh button every 5 minutes, you must have pressed it 15 x 12 = 180 times to see if anyone wrote about you. I am sorry that my posting asking you to end the drama was a wake up call. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:25 AM
James Bond ji My Man with the golden gun.... You hit your mark and bust the bubblegum bubble!!!! :( |
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| Deep | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:26 AM
kun sambidhan ko kun dhara layera MP le Biswo ji lai chiplyayera PKB lai PM banako ho? Sarbochha le ke bhanchha? Sambidhan sammat chha ki chhaina? but then which Constitution? King le jay sambho bhanepachhi 2046 Ko sambidhanle siltimmur khaisakena ra? ki k ho? Sajha pani complicated huna layo ba! din dinai mantri mandal ferinchha....aba feri kun chahi le raja lai reinstate gardini ho..ke thegan? ma chahi yo asthirata nathigriye samma ek round "manoranjan" ma lagnu paryo... je bhanchhau bhana mana kholilana.. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:27 AM
NK: "...Tell Gyaney I said Hi! ..." NK, for the longest time, you were gone from the site. And now you make a re-entry claiming you know my most famous high school classmate! Now THAT is a riot! Who are you? :-) Junkie, who are you? All these cyber masks. Holy Moses. Naresh Karki, please introduce yourself. What are your ideas? How do you propose implementing them? Dirk. Some of my folks have been trying to get hold of Sukdev Sah. I am hoping he can work with me in an advisory capacity for a starter. I will want him to start by telling me about where the IMF went wrong! Biswoji. You were/still are PM of Sajhastan. My appointment is for the much humbler constituency of Nepal. Btw, for lack of time due to unpredicted circumstances, I will no longer be able to serve in YOUR cabinet. Hasta La Vista, baby. Ashu: "...Why is that smart, funny women with a great sense of humor, flowing writing styles and a zest for life simply not found in CatManDo? .." Ashu, will you please postpone your private fantassies by about five months? Please? ;-) Sitara talking of Sitaram! Next you know, she will show up in Sitapur, I mean, Janakpur. Jame Bonds/ James Bond: "....is Paramendra seemingly taking a break 'Basking in Glory'? ..." No. I posted my thoughts at first sight! I just logged in not long back. I am only now proceeding to read what everyone has said. Basking? Yes! Sitaraji, "link" bina ko pradhan mantri. Substituting those with cyber links. Ke garne? |
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| kalankisthan | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:30 AM
Paramendra jyu ko laamo lekhai padhnai gaarho!! [PM Paramendra reaches Tudikhel khula maidan to give his Bhasan] Aaaan ... ta, pyara daju tatha daju ka didi bahini haru, Namaskaar. Tapai harulai kasto cha? Malai ali hijo raati ko HURRAH ko hangover cha. Black label, red label bhanya ta sunya thi, Blue label ni hudo raicha. Baluwatar ma Ex-PM KPB jyu le collect garnu bha ko Tyo Blue label gilas ma haale, ani paani le gilas bharera swattta ghutkaako ta, kasto mitho hudo raicha. Tyaspachi ta maile tu. diver-ji lai paatan kisnamandir muniko chwyela kinaa paathai haale. chwayela ko sitan sanga blu label taanye ra AmitaBachchan ko filim herya ta kun bela blu label jhyap bhayecha, atto patto bhayena. Bihana dhilai uthe ni dimag ma euta idea paalai halyo. Maile athot gare, Ma Aaaune arthik barsha bhitra nai pratyek nepali ko ghar ghar ma blu label puryai dinchu. Blu label lai paani bhanda ni sasto banai dinchu. Bhandai mero dui sabdha yehi tungyauchu. oho, Kopila ni aa raychi. Ani kopila ko aama ni aaunu bha raicha. Aaama lai parnam. Ani kaile aaunu bha ni gau baata? pallo ghare harke, jhilke, namita, samita, sabita, kabita lai kasto cha ni? sanchai? Oho, sete dai ni hundo rahecha. Dai ko bahini lai aaram? ma tu. aauchu gau ma motor chadhera, 5 barsha bhitra mai. Maile ta motor ni paa chu ni sete dai. Motor charna khoob maja aaudo rahecha. Afu le chalau nu ni naparne, diver le chalaune. Afu pachadi basyo blu label taanyo. Ashadhyai maja aaucha. Dai ni aaunu hai baluwatar ma. Daju bhai basera "daaru" taanu parcha. Bagedi sagedi paaincha bhane lyaunu hai SITAN. Bhandai mero dui shabdha yehi tungyauchu. jai nepal. |
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| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:37 AM
Paramendra, Since you landed in sajha land, barely 2 hours pass before we see your posting. So it was VERY ODD that sajha did not see your response for over 15 hours! Unless you were stuck in sahara desert without internet connection, it is unlikely that you are just seeing this now and responding. In any case, we don't expect anything less from a politician!!! END. Sitara, Didn't my Golden Gun work like a charm? (blowing at the smoking nozzle.. foooooo) END. _________________________________ Original Message: Paramendra Replies: Jame Bonds/ James Bond: "....is Paramendra seemingly taking a break 'Basking in Glory'? ..." No. I posted my thoughts at first sight! I just logged in not long back. I am only now proceeding to read what everyone has said. Basking? Yes! |
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| najar | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:41 AM
M.Pji--what a fun thread you've started! You go dear!!! Awaiting to read more of the series. Paramji, tapai ko speech pani KHATARA chha. And the continuation from where NK left this is MA thread!" he growls "who is this 'sasu bina ko ashu?'" he billows. Ashu says-- How can you forget me, the ashu, dear friend? ma oohi ta ho ni who introduced sajha to you didn't we have swadista pakoras togeher in thamel? how can not recall those inspiring talks we had about xaviers, budha, harvard, sarvard and des bikash ma ta jhan tapain bhanda pahile nai sajha ma hit bhaesake sajha hastis auchhan jaanchhan but ashu is there to stay until i find that smart, funny women with a great sense of humor, flowing writing styles and a zest for life in CatManDo |
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| kalankisthan | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:44 AM
Shashu bina ko Ashu re la bho ta??? Shashu Bina ko Ashu Chunab ma uthu ki ma basu? kattar kattar ma Timro suhaudo jwai aayo mottar ma. ;) |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:50 AM
Paramendra ji.... My man with the bull's eye!!!! You are holding up quite well for a sitting duck!!! Be a moving target, camouflage yourself; put a smoking cigarette under your sombrero and your sombrero on a bush. Crawl away with your winchester, ready and half-cocked!!!! Be Alert!!!!! Just A note from a lockdown survivor....hehehe!!!!! or just stay home (LIKE me!!! ;) A sincere compliment tho! :) |
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| NK | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:57 AM
And Sitara, my Lop I thought I was the only one to get a "sincere compliment" from you today. Still, I thank you. What Zen, what buddhism, who and what Gita... these are all common sense. Agreed the "common" in this common sense is misleading sometimes. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:58 AM
Ninety Five Percent Journalist in Nepal Have Mental Problems: Reports Kathmandu, Oct 9 The Sinking Nepal No wonder a series of leg-pulling, ego-revealation and struggle for power in the political leadership had created enough reasons for every Nepali to be frustrated with the multy party regime. However, the fact that most journalists in the capital supported ex-King Gyanendra's move without much reservation had surprised most people-- particularly the intellectuals in the small town of Sajhapur, hundreds and hundreds miles from the capital. The recent report published by United Nations Commission for Cure and Rehab of Nepalese Journalists has relieved the agony of most Sajhabashis. The report releaved that 95% of Journalists in Kathmandu are mentally incapable of handling their business. The research was jointly carried out by UNCCRNJ and the Sinking Nepal. "This is surprising. Even the editor of Kantipur, Yubraj Ghimire, is on the list of insanes," said MP, our chief editor. Ghimire who was kept in Hanumandhoka few months ago for publishing an article by Maoist supreme Baburam Bhattarai was thought to be one of the few righteous journalists in Nepal. He, however, failed to live upto everyone's expectations when he supported ex-king's move recently. "The journalist from the Saptahik Bimarsha, Jana Astha, Mahanagar, Sandhya times, Janadharna, Koseli, and telegraph weekly have syndromes that prove that they are incurable," the report says. The journalists from these papers/magazines had the disease right from 2046! It was disheartning to see only few journalists--most from Nepal Samacharpatra--to be mentally upright. This was expected since Nepal Samacharpatra was one of the few papers to approve the ex-king's action "with some reservation." Having heard the report, Kathmanduities-- who had been showering the politicians with curses recently--have turned their barrels towards the journalist now. After hearing the report on the first few journalist, the Nepali Times, the Gorkhapatra and the Rising Nepal denied to have their journalists tested. Gorkhapatra is the mouth piece of the government and usually publishes nothing more than the details of inaugration ceremonies and speeches made by politicians. "Politicians call us even while going to the bathroom. What can we do?" says the chief editor of Gorkhapatra on condition of anonymity from the rehap center "Mukti" in Jawalakhel. Nepali Journalist's Association has denied the claims made on the report but has made no justification. Meanwhile, yesterday's cabinet meeting deplored the acts of Nepal Army and Sasastra Police for the death of Krishna Sen, whom the report claims as the only "sane" journalist! "This is a nuisance. All those damn journalist should be put behind bars along with Gupta, Wagle and Khadka," said Prime Minister Bhagat after coming out from his "undisclosed location" in Kalimati. Newly appointed chief of CIAA, Ashutosh Tiwari, in an email sent to the Sinking Nepal said that the CIAA actions could extend to journalist now. "C K Lal laai ni jail maa haalna paaye majja aauthyo," he said. RaSaSa. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:09 AM
NK my loply lady; If common sense were "common" then every one would have it!!!! :) And then it comes in every form too and those that don't have much of the common thing may have to resort to uncommon measures!!! You state your case well, my lop! :) As for sincere compliments; I have many that I hand out to those deserving! :) Without any reservations!!!!! My admiration is sincere! |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:23 AM
The best phrase to emerge at this thread/site: sasu bina ko ashu. LOL |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:37 AM
(Baluwatar. Prime Minister's residence. Evening time. Hridayesh Tripathy arrives. He is swiftly led to chiyapan with Paramendra Bhagat.) Tripathy: Pappu Babu, ye kya kar diya aap ne? Bhagat: Kyon? Aap khush nahin? Barah baras banbaas ke baad ab main ek madhesi pradhan mantri bana. Khush nahin aap? (They continue in Hindi.) Tripathy: I am very happy. But I heard something about some Janata Dal. Wo to Nepal Samajwadi Janata Dal maine kab ka dissolve kar diya. Internet par news nahin chhapte we log kya? Bhagat: But this is diffeent, Tripathyji. This is no NSJD. Tripathy: To naya party khol rahe hain? Bhagat: Yes. Tripathy: Kyun. Apna ta party hai hee. Sadbhavana kis liye hai? Aap hi ke liye hai ki kis liye hai? Bhagat: Wo to thik hai. Lekin we need a fresh start. (Bhagat works on trying to convince Tripathy to merge it with the proposed Janata Dal.... they continue talking into the sunset, like the warriors of the wild west.) |
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| wy | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:41 AM
M.P: My hats off to you. Keep up the good work. In the lands of self-promotion and so-called grand ideas, someone has to start intejecting some reality check by deflating some of these self-inflating baloons. Too many hotair baloons aroud here. |
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| hunga munga | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 12:09 PM
paramendra ji, I was wondering if you know how to speak nepali. Just curious, do you speak nepali? I have noticed you post in hindi but not in nepali. |
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| Deep | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 12:16 PM
Paramendra bhagat: PM Chhedi lal: home tripathi: defense mandal: forest chunni lal: water resource ram dulari: education .... baki agale anka me |
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| mitra 2 | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 01:37 PM
Paramendra, I thought you guys used to speak HINDI only during bhasan/sasan :) Your late leader once said "Nepal lai Sri lanka banai dinchhu" if I remember correctly, tapai chai Nepal lai FIJI nai banaune ho ki kaso? :) How come you have already nominated 2 Nepali Speaking High Caste people for the top post? Aafu PM hunda pani baraf chai Nepali Speaking High Caste lai, sinka chai janajaati ra madhesi lai :) I want to see a madhesi PM in my country, but the HINDI turns me off for some reason. I was mad as hell when KP Bhattarai spoke in HINDI with Chandra sekhar during his visit in India. Young LEADERS like you should know how to make VOTERS like me happy :) |
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| Chaakman | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 01:55 PM
Yay kya hai Parminderr Babua Pan Khailaba ? Or English bolelba ? Or Desh Sold-ba to India ? |
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| Bitchpatroll | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 02:02 PM
Parminderrr:- Tum loog Kuteey ki tarah kyu bhuktaahai ? BP:- Kyu raat ko nindh nahi aata kya ? Parminderr:- Tumare karnam se Pepto Bismal Kharidna pada...haramzaada. Tum ne hamarey paate mei itana acid generate kiya uska baat hi nahi .. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 02:16 PM
Some of the e-mails received over the past few hours: "Congratulations. I like your stand on terror. Keep at it. I will invite you to my ranch." -George Dubya (Nepali meaning) Bush "Nidhiji ne hame buddha bola. Hum to 76 baras ke jawan hain. Aap ka umar kya hai?" -KP Bhattarai "I am a Nepali living in the US. I am not prejudiced or anything, but I was displeased you did not take the oath in Nepali. Nepal is not India." -Dilli Ghurtel (brother of Bhurtel) "Babua Pappu. Naam roshan kara ho humro sab ke." (Maithili) -A resident of Gonarpura, Mahottari "BhuRaBaL (Bhumihar, Rajput, Babhan, Lala) saaf karo. Mera kahna mano yaar." -Laloo Yadav "Elections ki kya jaldee hai?" -Musharraf "Hamro panch-sutriya mag chandai nai fax garne chhaun. Sitamadhi bata." -Baburam Bhattarai "Ke ho yaar. Yasto ta bhayena. Ke gardeko yasto baale?" -Prince Parash "Undemocratic. Unconstitutional. Yo Gyanendra ra Paramendra lai sab eutai khaldo maa puridinchhaun." -Bamdev Gautam "Funding bagairah nai bhayena bhane party kasari chalchha, desh kasari chalchha?' -Mohan Gopal Khetan "Nationalism ko spirt bhayena yahan." -MaKuNe "Kon jaat ko paryo yo chahin? Sudi ho ki teli ho ki chamar ho ki dusad ho, ke ho yo?" -Rajeshwar Devkota "Private life simit para re?" -Ashutosh Tiwari "Hong Kong bata udne som ka lagi hoina. Flight attendants haroo ka lagi ho." -Paschim |
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| dodhare | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 02:20 PM
Deep wrote: .... "Paramendra bhagat: PM Chhedi lal: home tripathi: defense mandal: forest chunni lal: water resource ram dulari: education .... baki agale anka me" --- list of rajya mantri ... Bhajan lal Thakur: sanskriti rajya mantri -- from janajati Gobardhan lal Koudiya: krisi rajya mantri -- from magurali Babu lal Khetan: baal rajya mantri -- from khumbuwan Kanhaiya lal Dugad: mahila rajya mantri -- from kamaiya Dhanapati lal Mittal: Artha rajya mantri -- from pahadi bheg |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 02:28 PM
On second thought, why does MP's writing style reads so much like Pachim's? |
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| Biswo | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:13 PM
Paramendra, something fishy going on here, I agree. This writing style looks familiar:-) |
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| Bitchpatroll | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:38 PM
Aaarey Parminerrr Bhai Jyada bak bak mat karo.. Nahi to humko aapna assli roop fir nikalna padega. samjey kya ? Aur wo chaaaku aur churra laykey Mumbai ghumaney leyjayengey. samjey kya !! |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:45 PM
Bitchpatroll: (1) You are not an anonymous person. The site administrator will have to divulge your identity if requested by law enforcement. (2) What you write sounds like a physical threat. It is illegal to issue them. If I were to choose to do so, you would get into legal trouble right now. I want you to stop. Rants and raves are one thing. Disparaging a person's name is one thing. But your words veer toward the illegal. Refrain and save yourself. |
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| Bitchpatroll | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:49 PM
What cannot take a joke ? Mr paranoid now ? Ghumayegey is not a threat. May its a threat is Mr Paraminderrr's language... |
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| Bitchpatroll | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:53 PM
And who told you to use your own name(unless you are trying get something out of the site here ) ? And besides I it all depends upon the way you look at it(your perspective). samajgaye kya babua. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 03:55 PM
To: Paramendra Kumar Bhagat Prime Minister Republic of Nepal & Biswo Chhaayaa Sarkar Sajhapur Respected incumbents, It has been brought to my notice that two of you have been suspecting "fishy-ness" on my part. I had stated earlier that I was highly influenced by Paschim's Dilli-Bhurtel Series. Some of the strategies--like mixing nepali words with English--might have come from there! Make no mistake--this is not Paschim's strategy to defame Bhagat or to remove you, Bishwo, from the Premiership of Sajhapur. While I am surprised that you are comparing the writings of a novice writer to that of Paschim, who I thought had no parity, and pleased that you saw them alike, I have a feeling that you guys are conspiring against Paschim in order to hold him back from winning upcoming elections as the member of parliament from Gorkha-1. I should mention that I am pleased to see two masterminds of the conspiracy theory at the driving seat of the country/sajha; this, I hope, will be beneficial to all people of the republic of Nepal. Protect Nepal from all foreign conspiracies! Your case will be reported to the CIAA chief Ashutosh Tiwari. Be prepared to be grilled. If convicted, you will face upto 12 hours in jail according to the law of Harvard. And watch out--Paschim will flood your mail boxes with grandiloquent english [you will then never compare me with Paschim] ; I suggest you buy a Brihat Angreji Sabdakosh and keep it! Mean while, remove all your pamphlets, leaflets etc that you might have prepared to prachar-prashar-garosh against Paschim from your residence and take them to an "undisclosed location" ; CIAA might be at your place any time. With Best Wishes for the CIAA grill, MP Editor-in-Chief The Sinking Nepal. |
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| hunga munga | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:00 PM
bitchpatroll ji, aapko yeh hunga munga chaaku keisa lagaa? yeh chaaku buffy ne bhi prayog kiya.  
|
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| najar | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:10 PM
M.P.---Man/Woman/Girl/Guy, whoever you are, you ROCK big time!! Witty, well-written and entertaining. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:13 PM
Well M.P. Sorry. Oops. So you are not Paschim. I don't need to know who you are. It is just that this has got to be among the more original threads anyone started at Kurakani. I hope TSN reports keep pouring in. They are entertaining. As for Paschim, I am going to left no stone unturned to have him contest from Gorkha on the Janata Dal ticket. We are talking. :-) |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:16 PM
BP. Lighten up with your vocabulary, so the rest of us can laugh with you. You are mostly a welcome presence otherwise, especially when you come after me on three different threads at the same time. :-) |
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| orion | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:21 PM
BREAKING NEWS ….. KING REMOVES BHAGAT, TAKES CONTROL Kathmandu (RSS) In a dramatic development, His Majesty the King has dismissed recently appointed Prime Minister Bhagat calling him "too talkative" and therefore incompetent to carry out the duties of his office. In a televised broadcast to the nation, His Majesty said Prime Minister Bhagat wanted to lay his hands on every issue ever discussed in the history of Nepali politics and spent too much time talking with everyone about everything. BHAGAT SUPRISED Prime Minister Bhagat expressed suprise at the decision and has vowed to challenge it at all levels. He added that forces opposed to social justice had conspired against the nations first Madesi Prime Minister. Meanwhile, the rival Sadhvawana faction, let by Moderate Mandal, said the move as unexpected but blamed Bhagat for creating the situation. LEGAL EXPERTS DIVIDED Legal and constitutional experts at Sajha.com appear divided over the action. "The King has the authority to dismiss Bhagat under dhara 127" , said a constitutional expert under condition of anonimity. He added that dismissal of the government of former Prime Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba served as a precedence. “I have said it a thousand times on Kurakani that the King can dismiss the PM. I do not understand what the debate is about”. However, a senior advocate who did not who did not want to be quoted said the Kings decision was "grossly unconstitutional" like his previous decisions on this matter. “The King has jeopardized the basic freedom of the people by this move”, he added PARTIES TO MEET An emergency meeting of the Sadhbhawana part has been called to discuss the situation. Former Prime Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba has also called for an all party meet to discuss the situation. |
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| orion | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:21 PM
That one is for you Paramendra ... in the spirit of fun and laughter. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:21 PM
Typo. Hold Press. Is: As for Paschim, I am going to left no stone unturned to have him contest from Gorkha on the Janata Dal ticket. Should Be: .... going to leave .......... ( and to think of all those posts I never go back to read after posting...) |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:28 PM
Orion, thanks for that quick e-mail, otherwise, despite my propensity to collect ideas and opinions from all and sundry, I had not yet been informed of my dismissal through the official channels. Don't be starting false rumors now! Jokes are fine though. One problem with my predecessor was he took himself too seriously, just like Girija. And MaKuNe and Bamdevji. So your contribution is appreciated. I have a lot of work to do. Glad to still have the job. In a hurry, I did not realize that just the headline was enough to tell one the news is manufactured. We have a president now, not a king no more, no thank you. :-) |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:35 PM
M.P you have done great service to Sajhapur with your timely and truthful news print- The Sinking Nepal. You have made all braggards become maha-pareshan before you and others are laughing their ass off! Your accusations against PM Bhagat and PM Biswo also holds water. Thus I award you the sajhapur award of the day: Nepal's map with humor in the center! Also as a reporter to the The Sinking Nepal, I wanted to inform you of the latest happening in Sajhapur. Brihat Angreji Sabdakosh has been selling in the markets of Sajhapur has been selling like hot cakes. Eye-witnesses here say that first buyers came in "jhanda wal gadi". Keep up the good work :) |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:37 PM
Bhool sudhar: Brihat Angreji Sabdakosh has been selling in the markets of Sajhapur like hot cakes. Eye-witnesses here say that first buyers came in "jhanda wal gadi". |
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| diwas k | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:38 PM
Paramendra wrote: "... just like Girija. And MaKuNe and Bamdevji." Shree Pradhan Mantri Jyu, Why does Bamdev get a _ji, whereas us desbhakta but nikamma janta get you for a PM? Dhyanakarshan garna chahanchhu.... _diwas |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:48 PM
"Why does Bamdev get a _ji, whereas us desbhakta but nikamma janta get you for a PM?" Diwas_kji, Am I to understand you are unhappy with my appointment? As for Bamdevji ---- that is a respect I would accord to any player on the political scene. Deubaji, Oliji, Tripathyji, Bamdevji. I would do that with others also, as in Ontaji, Tiwariji. |
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| Desh_Bhakta_Bhattarai | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 04:54 PM
Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha! I can't stop laughing! I just fell off my chair laughing! I guess I should call myself: "Ghum-ne Me-ch Baata Haan-se-ra La-de-ko Man-che"!!! Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha! ~DBB |
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| smr | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 07:56 PM
Newly Deposed PM Bhagat in Hot Water Again. October 21 The Sinking Nepal Three Nepali intellectuals have just filed in a joint civil lawsuit against the recently deposed Prime Minister Bhagat. The lawsuit accuses the freshly unemployed PM for stealing their ideas and claiming them to be his own. They claim that much of Mr. Bhagat’s campaign rhetoric and socio-economic ideas have been lifted from various chat line conversations they used to have on a popular cyber hangout called Sahja.com during their student life in the US. The lawsuit states that Mr. Bhagat routinely used subtle tactics with questions such as, “Explain,” “I need more explanation,” “Not enough,” “Elaborate,” “ You need to do better that this,” to divulge important information from others in the name of intellectual engagements. Not part of the lawsuit, but one litigant even accuses him to have used some of those discussions for his class term papers. Because of the serious nature of the implication involving intellectual property rights, the RsRsRs reporter contacted his alma mater for some clarification. The university officials refused to comment on the topic. Due to confidentiality nature of the charges, Mr. Bhagat’s mentor professor Kolstad refused to comment on the topic, but over the phone he expressed his likeness toward his famous student. He remembers him as a person of immense curiosity on just about every subject, and with a giggle, Mr. Kolstad recalls a humorous article circulated by his fellow students titled – “Mr. Bhagat goes to Kathmandu.” Although not involved in the lawsuit, the popular cyber hangout called Sajha.com has suspended all of the political-related discussions at least for the time being. Many teenage non-resident Nepalis have hailed the decision, and have expressed their hope that the Kurakani feature of the Sajha.com will regain its original intention -- a place to chill out and to explore cyber dating. During the hastily arranged news conference at the party headquarter of the Sadbhawana Party, a visibly shaken PM Bhagat standing next to Mr. Mandal vehemently denied those charges. He said that all the ideas he had been espousing during his administration were his and his alone. He even distributed several copies of his book, which was essentially based on his Masters thesis, to the press core. His controversial book titled “The New Nepal,” had created much uproar among the establishment, and had been criticized by many for having a racial undertone. (Paramendra, I just could not resist. No slander intended.) |
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| Rusty | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:13 PM
Parmendra Ji Congrats to you and your party!!! |
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| Logical Sense | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 08:55 PM
M.P. -- whoever you are, you stole the Sajha show ...... I think you are the creation of Sajha.com. You can't be linked with one name or one personality. I would be happy to say that you are: Ashu, Biswo, Paschim, NK, Sitara, even Paramendra, Arnico, smr, some Logical Sense, and many many others. I am proud of Sajha.com, which keeps on giving us unfathomable characters! Keep it up. Sajha ROCKS! |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:24 PM
The Sinking Nepal Publication Fires Two Journalist: They Were "Inept", Says MP Kathmandu, Oct 9 The Sinking Nepal Two prominent journalists working at the Sinking Nepal publication, namely ORION and SMR have been recently fired, a press release issued after the meeting of the Board of Directors said. Like any other board, the Board of Directors of the Sinking Nepal consists of MP's father, mother, grandfather, niece, nephew and his sister. Other close kins are working as advisors. The two journalists were found to be sufferring from mental illness like the other 95% journalists of Kathmandu. MP, the chief editor, became suspicious after Orion and Smr dissipated false and derogatory information against the Prime Minister, Paramendra Kumar Bhagat. They had said Bhagat had been deposed from his position which was not true. They were sent for a mental test at Narayanhity where experts from Costarica, Peru and Korea have been checking the health of all members of the then royal palace after ex-King Gyanendra declared Nepal a republic. Provision for this check-up was initially sponsored by UNCHRNJ and the Sinking Nepal. Many say the ex-King was manupulated. However, there are strong indications that his health status was not much different from 95% of the Journalists in Kathmandu. Orion has also been charged of referring to the President as King. "This was not expected," MP, our chief editor said. "How could one live in a republic and refer to the President as a King?" The Sinking Nepal publication will also file a case against the two "inept" journalists--Orion and smr-- in the CIAA. If convicted, both smr and orion will face verbal grill from honorable Ashutosh Tiwari. It is likely that the Prime Minister will also attack the two journalists with links and links of articles. This is more likely since the Prime Minister is now a full time employee at Sajhapur. In response to the misuse of the Sinking Nepal Chhap, the board of the publication has given MP, the chief editor, to make all posts. Hence, posts made by others on behalf of the Sinking Nepal will no longer be considered legitimate. The Sinking Nepal will soon be sponsoring health check for the Prime Minister. Several complains have already been filed against him at the CIAA for not being original in speech, publishing poster.com links for political motive and for being too adament to the issue of Terai basi rights! Meanwhile, Biruwa, another prominent officer at the Sinking Nepal publication has been promoted to the post of Director of Propagonda, a portfolio initially handled by the Prime Minister Bhagat, for promoting the sale of Brihat Angreji Sabdakosh at Sajhapur. RaSaSa. |
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| NK | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:30 PM
Gosh, this gets funnier and funnier! :)))) [see my double chin? no make that four fold. that's what happens when you laugh too much. :))))))))))))))))) aggghhh, help!] |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 09:48 PM
Can't believe the fine minds of Sajha like PKB and Biswo even suspected that MP could be me! I do have better things to dream (literally) about than post stuff on Sajha at 3 am in the morning! For public information purposes, Paschim lives in Purba. While I am utterly flattered that MP has publicly acknowledged my Bhurtel-Gaunthali series for inspiring his humorous pursuit (imitation is the best form of flattery!) -- I think MP is an original writer with a nuanced grasp of Nepali affairs in his own distinctive way. I welcome MP to Sajha, and like Amitav Ghosh said of our author Samrat, "he signals the arrival of a great talent". Keep it coming, MP, you are very good! |
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| ashu | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:19 PM
Logical sense, I wish I had written MP's pieces. But I did not. I don't even know who MP is. Up to midnight, exercising great self-restraint not to look at sajha, I was working on a presentation that I am supposed to this afternoon :-) At any rate, in my newly-appointed position as a single-but-ready-mingle "honorable" CIAA Chief -- I am just hoping that this lovely-bubbly MP turns out to be a single Nepali female journalist with a great sense of humor, with an obviously flowing writing style and a zest for life :-) With the arrival of MP and others, says we Nepalis are NOT creative and funny? oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| bitchpatroll | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:37 PM
Primeminister joh kdada nahi hota Baithtey baithtey haat se ishara deta |
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| smr | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:46 PM
The Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist SMR Stands Defiant Oct 11 The Sinking Nepal SMR, the world renowned Nepali journalist, who is also a South Asian correspondent for the CNN, has expressed deep regret over his unjust dismissal by his long-time employer TSN. In his written statement to the Sinking Nepali editor MP, SMR maintains his firm stand behind the validity and truthfulness of his reporting regarding the lawsuit by the three Nepali intellectuals against the Prime Minister Bhagat. Distancing himself from ORION however, a longtime friend and a co-war-correspondent in Iraq, SMR acknowledges that he made a mistake in trusting ORION’s reporting of the firing of the PM. He admits having a minor lapse in his judgment for not thoroughly checking the news report of Mr. Bhagat’s premature sacking before dispatching his news on the civil lawsuit. Experts believe that a Pulitzer Prize winning seasoned reporter like SMR’s “trouble” can serve as a valuable lesson to many news hungry journalists. ORION could not be reached for his reaction. SMR also maintains that his mental state is as acute as ever, and finds the references to Costa Rican and Korean “shrinks” very humorous. His onetime association to a Jamaican Yogi Babba Marlla, he contends, has been the source of this false rumor. This became a thorny issue three years ago when he was being considered for the nomination of the Dean of the Journalist Core in Kathmandu. His international reputation overshadowed his Yogi connection and he bagged the Deanship. Yogi Marlla was later charged with practicing voodoo without license and was deported from Nepal. A list of notables who got voodoo treatment is rumored to have included names such as, Manisha Koirala, Deuba, and Madhav Nepal. SMR received his Pulitzer Prize for his bestseller book – “The American Nepali Intellectuals and Their Homeland Lip Services.” |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 10:59 PM
Wednesday supplement of The Sinking Nepal Kathmandu October 9 The Sinking Nepal The readership of The Sinking Nepal is in an uproar at the intriguing personality of the Editor of The Sinking Nepal. Some have vowed revenge at such blatant truths printed every quarterly; which translates into 15 minutes. The Sinking Nepal is known for its Taja taja guff about the "Raja" and his Sajhaites. At a recent zero hour discussion it was insinuated that the laural wreath was offered to "San" an annonymously suspicious personality, who has the tendencies of Emperor Nero; abling and disabling threads like spinning was going out of fashion. The sinking Nepal, has not heard anything from the possible candidate himself as he hides behind a maze of ropes, links, chains and threads! some malicious gossip has been posted that he may be into "rough housing" and that he refuses to come out of his closeted threads. This said and done, The Sinking Nepal and her journalist are both in the danger of being disabled and boycotted from pusblishing in sajhapur. Disclaimer: This taja news has been written on hearsay and loose talk among the unravelling threaders of Sajha. The sinking Nepal would always like to err on the side of safety with the hope that it will not commit such grievious errors as did George Bush's administration regarding 9/11. The Sinking Nepal: INFORMATION IS POWER!!!!! |
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| Dilasha | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:13 PM
Letter to the Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal Thapathali, Kathmandu, Nepal Dear Mr. Editor: After twelve years of continued operation (despite the public’s outrage over its “yellowness”) in the publication industry, The Sinking Nepal finally seems to be “rising” up to the standards of journalism. Just like the “much awaited” change that have recently embraced Nepal that also after twelve years (sheer co-incidence is it?), your daily has finally ignited some fire and caught the attention of lousy readers like me. Your decision to lay off your former editor and appoint yourself as one, is highly commendable that has become the talk of my small town Guiyekholcha. Through the intriguing, “true in its entirety” articles in your daily, what transpires is the wholesome dedication of your journalists towards their profession and unlike the “mentally challenged” journalists like Yubraj Ghimire, yours have surpassed the public’s expectations; no wonder “gorkhapatra bajey” has been seen lately holding stacks of Sinking Nepal instead of the more popular (well, till yesterday) Gorkhapatra and hollering inside the Sajha bus, “lau aayo aja ko taaja taaja khabar sabaile hijo samma thukne tara ahile bhane ghutrukka nilne, sabai bhanda amulya patra Doobiraheko Nepal angreji ma Syankin Nepal!!” And that’s when I came across your sensational article about Prime Minister Paramendra Bhagat. I am glad that King G ultimately abdicated his throne for the betterment of his countrymen unlike The Duke of Windsor who did it for the love of his life Walli Simpson. This has indeed generated immense respect in the hearts of the public towards the beloved poet cum president. However, his selection of the civil rights activist and affirmative action guru as well as the prominent member of NSP Paramendra Bhagat shocked me quite a bit for I was hoping that our former Minister of P&P (Planning and Photography) Arnico would be highly recommended and then appointed for such a coveted role of a Prime Minister. Not that I don’t like Paramendra but I find him to be an extremist in a sense that he focuses only in areas of his interests and have found him to be more vocal rather than focusing in the implementation of his ideas. Therefore, I am skeptical about Paramendra being a good leader that Nepal has dreamt of. As for Arnico, I am a strong supporter of the former minister of P&P for he had not only laid out in writing-his grand plans to develop every nook of the nation but also had well executed some of his plans such as widening the streets of Guiyekholcha, bringing programs of internships in our community campuses, providing water and electricity to the poorest of the poor etc. Therefore I was even willing to campaign for him if the president chose to have the elections first. Unfortunately the man is sidelined. Nevertheless, I still have hope from the Talented Mr. Arnico. Let us see how Paramendra fulfills the desire of aam nepali janata. Whether or not he will focus only in the development of Janakpurdham or the entire nation, whether or not he will work towards the upliftment of only the “madhesis” or the “chaar jaat ra chattis barna”, only TIME, will tell. In the meantime I as a mere spectator will just keep my fingers crossed and watch!! Yours Sincerely, Dilasha P.S: Now that your daily is becoming more and more popular you might be increasing its price from 20 paise to 25 but I am telling you Mr Editor, I will refrain from buying it if you do so, because more than half of the Guiyekholcha baasi have been laid off from the Kukhura paalan Kendra and they are the ones who buy your newspaper the most. |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:17 PM
To: M.P Editor in Chief The Sinking Nepal Dear M.P Mr. SMR, a former employee of our paper, has written claiming that he be re-employed. The open letter is timed at 10:46 PM. He admits his guilt of spreading dis-information but blames ORION for framing him. Also, speaking in third person he "admits having a minor lapse in his judgment for not thoroughly checking the news report ". He also admits to working for CNN as a correspondant which violates our company policy of discontinuing dual -job holders. Thus I recommend you to make Mr. SMR's dismissal as final. I am impounding the open letter for future reference. Biruwa (Director of Propaganda) The Sinking Nepal |
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| hyaterica | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:46 PM
Dilasha, When is Paschim tying knots? |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 09-Oct-02 11:47 PM
Dear Dilasha, We are always pleased to hear from our esteemed readers like yourself. I am sure your concerns will be taken into account for by our journalists. As for Arnico, the MIT grad's future prospect as a PM looks very bright. Unfortunately, the Janata's of Sajhapur are yet to vote him into the coveted post. Let me take this opportunity to remind Dilasha and other loyal followers of "The Sinking Nepal" that we inform you of sajhapur and are not "King makers" ourselves. This having been said "the Sinking Nepal" family welcomes Sitara, our newly appointed journalist. She will be filling the post left vacant by the dismissal of two of our former prominent journalists. Thank you, Biruwa (Director of Propaganda) The Sinking Nepal P.S. Our next edition of "The Sinking Nepal" will be provided to you as a complimentary from M.P. |
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| SMR | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:25 AM
Moon Lightening with CNN, Not a Violation Oct 12, The Sinking Nepal The famous former employee of the Sinking Nepal, a veteran journalist SMR, came under fire for an allegedly unethical conduct regarding his double dipping employment status with the Sinking Nepal and the CNN. After a much publicized letter by a disgruntled employee Biruwa in TSN, the Pulitzer Prize winning journalist SMR held a press conference at Y&Y and disclosed that the working clause of his CNN connection was very much a part of his contract with the TSN. Frantically waving, what appeared to be a contract, SMR charged the Sinking Nepal for sinking too low to discredit his reputation. Using Kantipur’s Yubraj Bhimire as an example, he stressed that the Nepali journalists’ connections with the international press have always been a healthy practice. An inside source, under anonymity, speculates that Biruwa’s bitterness may have come from an internal assignment dispute, where Biruwa was bypassed in favor of SMR for a much coveted position of covering all the hoopla surrounding the rise of the first Madhesi PM. The much talked about gala at the Palace, where Mr. Bhagat came away impressing very-hard-to-amuse King Gyanendra with his wit and worldly knowledge, eventually turned out to be a boon for Mr. Bhagat and SMR. Immediately following the Palace gala, much impressed Gyanendra picked Mr. Bhagat as His first ethnic PM of Nepal thus changing the history of Nepal for ever. SMR on the other hand got his prized coverage to cover Iraq war. The regional CNN management in Delhi confirmed on the phone that Mr. SMR will continue to be their chief regional correspondent regardless of his status with the TSN. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:29 AM
Kathmandu, Oct 10 The Sinking Nepal The Board of Directors of the publication applauded Biruwa, Director of Propaganda, for his marvellous job while the chief editor, MP, was away due to personal imperatives. It was raised, seconded and unanymously resolved that journalist SMR be sacked, and SITARA be brought into the office. SITARA will be receiving the next edition of the Sinking Nepal free of cost along with a .808 gun imported from Belgium by "orali laageko mriga" aka Deuba while he was the prime minister. Earlier she had chosen the gun as her election symbol to contest for the house of representatives. "Malai tyo sasastra police le use garne second world war ko bharuwa banduk chhainchha," she had said. Whether she is going to accept our offer is still not clear. The meeting of the Board of Directors decided to file a case in CIAA against the candidate from Gorkha-1, Paschim, for stating that MP made posts at 3 am in the morning. This was taken as a satire. The meeting was chaired by Biswo, supposedly the most briddha nagarik at Sajhapur. The meeting also decided to use female gender "she/her" while addressing any unknown individuals at Sajhapur in order to avoid gender biasness. The meeting also decided to include one of the following topics in the susequent issues of the Sinking Nepal: ---The World Bank Makes a Tactical Withdrawl from Nepal: The Office in Kathmandu turned into a mental hospital with the Country Director to serve as a patient for the time being. ---President Makes a Speech: Chha Mahinaa maa Nepal laai Bangladesh Banaaidinchhu! ---Dr. Baburam Bhattarai makes the first public appearance: Inaugrates a latrin in West Nepal. All publications signed by Biruwa shall be considered authentic until further notice. Sitara, however, will be put on a trial and our decision to provide her a tenure will be contingent on her actions during the trial period. Readers are requested to stay tuned. With a bit of biructance, MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal. |
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| Junkie | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:51 AM
To M.P. jee Editor ko Chief, TSN Dear Sir/Madam/in-between: I graduated from PC/DC (potato cutting/dish cleaning) with good marks (ask my report preparer Chor Singh) Summa Kaam Haude. I am responding with full chakadi to get that coveted delivery boy position of your TSN. Even since me barn (mark my fluent Amlikan accent), I think I born to deliver. I deliver so much. Last summer I deliver brown lunch bags thru the window at the Mike Donalds (reference Gur Bhojan Donalds). Except confusing the combo numbers, I never made a mistake (background: hehe ....). Given all these skills and never say dai attitude, I confident I deliver time and good. For your deference, my rish-ame is aatached. I can be reached via sajha, Mike Donalds window or when I wake up. Look forward to hearing from you. Reguards, Junkie 1 Mike Donalds Ave, Apt-420 Kasthamandup 12345, Nepal. |
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| Bitchpatroll | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:29 AM
Primeminister Bhagat Insecure According to RSS Primeminister Bhagat has been going to therapy to get over his insecurities lately. According to Dr. Kunwar, he is having some serious dillusions about his real life and his cyberlife. He cannot seem to distinguish between the two. And suffers from a serious linguistic disorder of not being able to speak Nepali. He can speak hindi or english only. And keeps ranting and raving about the injustice in Nepal against the Madhiseys while he is in his trancendental state. All of his insecurities are a cause of all the ragging he got while he was in his high school. Almost like he is angry at the world for that. |
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| Deep | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:20 AM
Dear Editor (The floating news), This is sundar lal reporting. Here are some information that I have gathered on this developing news. Please ask GaDha (Gajendra Dhami) to edit the news for you. PK Bhagat wants Quit Newly appointed PM Mr. PK Bhagat is desperately looking for his boss to handover his resignation. Mr. Bhagat already visited Narayanhiti three times just today to see if his boss is back from Gorakha. "Gorkha Maobadi ka ilaka hai…hum istifa dena chahate hai jan nahin" is what Mr. Bhagat said when a reporter asked him why doesn't he go to Gorkha to hand over his resignation. When he was asked why does he want to resign, Mr PK Bhaget said, "I smell conspiracy against me. Some elite so called upper caste pahadiya intellectuals are hatching a deadly plan to oust me". Some political analysts believe Mr. Bhagat is pointing his finger at a group led by Mr. Biswo Nath Poudel, the general secretary of Susasan dal. The central working commette of Susasan dal recently welcomed an extremely radical intellectual Ms NK as its new member. According to Baluwatar source, Mr. Ram Janam, a personal secretaty to Mr. PK Bhagat , was really worried last night to hear his boss saying nindrama "bichpyatrol…bichpyatrol". Mr. Ram janam was not sure kun pyatrol kaha bata kati kaslai bechne kura garya ho PM sahable. Yesterday evening, a guy with a name of Khobari came to see Mr. Bhagat at his residence in Baluwatar. But as he approached the door he saw many cars leave the gate. Khobari was not sure what all that chaos was all about? He asked a wandering guy, what's going on? The guy looked at him and asked did you not see PK Bhagat? Khobari shook his head and asked again, "kaun sala pi ke bhaga?". Ram dulari, Chhedi lal, and Chunni lal were on their way from Janakpur to ktm. to meet Mr. Bhagat. Rumor was rife that they were being considered for ministerial positions in Bhagat sahab's cabinet. But when they learned this evening that Mr.Bhagat is dying to resign, they were not sure whether it makes any sense in going to ktm, now. However, another potential minister Madho Narain, who wanted to reach to Mr. Bhagat before Chunni lal, Ram dulari, and Chhedi lal to secure a better profitable portfolio, flew from Janakpur to ktm. He reached Baluwatar only to find Ram janam who was intensely confused with Mr. Bhagat's wish to quit his position. When Hari Kisan Lal asked, "Bhagat sahab kaha hai?". Ram janam in his frustration got up, picked up his gamchha and galbandi from his desk, started to walk toward the door and without any courtesy to Madho said, "Bhagat gaya tel lene". (I will be sending more news as they come, now I got to go. I just heard that Mr. Bhagat once again heading towards Narayanhiti. I will be providing you more info. when I get there. This is sundar lal, BTW, for The Floating Nepal). P.S. In the condition of anonymity Mr. Biruwa said he overheard Mr. Ahutosh Tiwari, CIAA chief, talking over the phone, "Aba telle chhori nadini ho bhane jakidinchhu ma tellai akhtiyarma.." Biruwa says even though he is not sure who Mr. Tiwari was talking about but has a good hunch. He did not elaborate though. Ok. More later. |
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| Naresh_karki | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:33 AM
Prime minister Bhagat got full support from India. As expected, India welcomed recent political changes in Nepal. New Delhi expressed its 100% support to new prime minister of Nepal Paramendra kumar Bhagat. In a news conference at new Delhi, Prime minster Atal Bihari Vajpayee expecet Nepal will follow same kind of democracy as in India. Meanwhile in Patna, Chairman of Rastrya Janta Dal (RJD), Lalu prashad yadav said ."Hum buhat kush huyeee. Aba Nepal main Bhae bihar jasia hi politics system aa jayeaa. Apna hai banda prime misnister jo ho gaya". He suggested to make Hindi as a offical language of Nepal. In Mumbai, Bal Kumar Thakery of shiva sena demanded Nepal to remain as Hindu Rasthra and not to change on secular. |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:44 AM
memo to Chief Editor Reporting latest incidents (Headline News!)
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| smr | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 11:03 AM
ORION Appointed New Press Secretary by the CI House October 11 The Sinking Nepal In an attempt to woo the intellectuals of Kathmandu and mend fences with the weary non-Madhesi establishments in the valley, PM Bhagat appointed Mr. ORION as his CI House (Chinese Itta House in Baluwatar) Press Secretary. In a press release late last night from the CI House, PM Bhagat expressed his confidence in ORION’s ability to reform the information dissemination apparatus of his administration. A joint appearance by the PM with his newly appointed Press Secretary ORION during the briefing spoke volumes about the PM’s commitment. Recently fired but newly hired ORION was greening cheek to cheek during the entire press briefing. With the intention not to repeat the previous Deuba administration’s dismal performance on this front, ORION has announced that he would be asking for $5m to invite a group of spin doctors from the United States of America. When asked about the steep fee for the project, Mr. ORION said that the Information-Spin-Grant was made available by the USAID and that a select few Nepali journalists from the private sectors would also be included in the training sessions. ORION is expected to send a stern memo to all the ministries and department heads, including the army and police headquarters, urging them not to hold any press conferences. The memo is expected to say that now on the CI House will be a central clearing house for all the outgoing news, especially on sensitive matters related to the Maoist insurgency. A burst of laughter went across the hall when PM Bhagat on his way out started singing a famous Punjabi party song …..TARARARA but replacing the word TARARA with RATATATA, a reference to the post royal massacre Ranabhat press conference. This up-beat posturing by these old pals was very much expected by the Kathmandu media. ORION and PM Bhagat have had a long cyber relationships in Boston area. On a more serious note, however, the insider sources at the CI House have revealed that the newly appointed ORION’s priority would be to handle Bitchpatrol and his relentless attacks against the Prime Minister. ORION refused to divulge his plan of attack. He just smiled and said “You ain’t seen nothing yet. Stay tuned.” |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 11:17 AM
The October 21 report by smr -------- even MLK had been accused of plagiarism. But that is not what is the case with my ideas. I have long held ongoing discussions with many intellectuals. I have been open to ideas for the longest time. That is my leadership style. I duly acknowledge the contributions of others in my growth. And I feel the intended criticism is something else. Those are actually words of praise. I am not a pretender to the throne of the knight in shining armor. I see my job as leading people to where they want to go for the common good. Actually, since I attained this high office, I have been foraging for both ideas and people even greater zeal. My leadership style is one of the widest possible participation. The more the merrier. I will accept good ideas no matter where they might come from. And that is a good thing. " It is likely that the Prime Minister will also attack the two journalists with links and links of articles." LOL "Hence, posts made by others on behalf of the Sinking Nepal will no longer be considered legitimate." In the spirit of free press, why don't others come up with new magazine and news publications. Get your own! Leave The Sinking Nepal to MP. Much ado has been made about my links with posters.com. As a free marketeer, I just wanted to offer the option to all and sundry to sell a few posters and make some honest money. Small businesses are the true engine of growth. But I also realize that the country has been a leftist one for too long. And that it will take time. A few days or weeks before the free market spirit catches fire. "For public information purposes, Paschim lives in Purba." LOL Logical Sense, I am NOT MP. Like many, I wish I were though! :-) Ashu would like to know MP's gender. Well, Ashu, good question. I hope you ask good questions of the likes of Wagle as well. Bitchpatroll, wah, wah, wah. Kya shayari hai. Hello All. I remain Prime Minister. Nothing less than a military coup can depose me. I fully intend to hold the elections in six months' time. Sabai lai chetana bhaya. "....a Jamaican Yogi Babba Marlla...." Bob Marley! Martin Luther King, Fidel Castro, Bob Marley. LOL. "...for his bestseller book – “The American Nepali Intellectuals and Their Homeland Lip Services.” ........." LOL ....... :-)))))))) "...tendencies of Emperor Nero; abling and disabling threads ..." lol ------- this thread is out of this world "Not that I don’t like Paramendra but I find him to be an extremist in a sense that he focuses only in areas of his interests and have found him to be more vocal rather than focusing in the implementation of his ideas." I would like one and all to know that my commitment to social justice is a tag-along to my commitment to the national economy. The economy is my number one, number two, number three priority. I intend to focus on the economy with the intensity of a laser beam. As for implementation: (1) My contributions to the smooth landing of the monarchy has been widely lauded from Cuba to Kerala. (2) Already some newspapers have commented that some of the names that have gathered around me are "the best and the brightest." (3) Nepali Times has hailed my talk on the Maoists as "the most progressive this side of the Nile." (4) My platform has been hailed as the "most succint" since the time of Bhimsen Thapa by DC-based Drudge Report. I say, judge me based not on what you have heard in online rumors. Judge me based on my words and actions. Judge me based on my speech I am due to deliver soon. Judge me based on the composition of my cabinet. Based on how I resolve the Maoist insurgency. How I hold elections in six months. How I bring the Janata Dal to power. Already rumors are rife that TIME is thinking of putting me on its cover page as the Man Of The Year. I mean, how often does one attain the top position of power based solely on the amount of links one generates. Something to think about ya'll. ................. I gotta go for now. CNN le tyahan mero live interview broadcast garne bha chha. Pardaina, pardaina bhanda bhandai. Mandai manenan. I will be back within minutes. (P.S. Ashu yaar, ke ho. Mero homepage ma traffic ta exponential rate ma badhyo ...) |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 11:30 AM
Junkie has the spirit. I say he gets the market spirit. What say you? "I can be reached via sajha, Mike Donalds window or when I wake up." LOL As for some other rumors. I speak fluent Nepali. Paschim's dad, of all people, taught me some of the first hardest Nepali words I learned. My first poem was published in Nepali. I edited many wall magazines at high school. "...GaDha (Gajendra Dhami) ..." This thread is shooting through the roof! "..."kaun sala pi ke bhaga?". ..." lol Hello All. All rumors of my possible resignation are false and are possibly being spread by those who have a hard time living with the fact that there is a Madhesi in Baluwatar now. Ye kursi, hum nahin chhodenge. (aka, Sholay .... see I acknowledge borrowed ideas..) |
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| smr | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:10 PM
Time Denies Considering Nepali PM for its Cover The Sinking Nepal October 13, In response to an AP news report about the false rumor spread by the Nepali Prime Minister regarding him being considered for this year’s cover, the CI House Press Secretary ORION hastily called a press conference this afternoon. He said that the PM’s remark was taken out of context, and that all he was trying to do was to make a point about his hard work and contribution, especially in the area of insurgency and the Kamaiyas. His recent cabinet decision to reserve some seats for the Kamaiya at the Tribhuvan University was hailed by many civil societies as a right step toward empowerment. The rumor is that he is working on a similar draft seeking a wider support for his effort to make the Nepal Army more open to the Terai Basis. RPP is expected to put up some resistance citing that an affirmative action in the Army may spell disaster for the nation. Several news sources in Kathmandu confirmed that the Time, when contacted, did not have Mr. Bhagat on their short list. Incidentally, two names being floated for this year’s cover are Bush and Saddam. Mr. Bhagat has been known for his proclivity to self-embellishments even during his student life. One of his old cyber pals from the Boston area joked about the new Prime Minister recalling a nickname given to him –“Mr. Links.” The administration is hopeful that a seasoned veteran like ORION’s appointment as a press secretary can only help reshape Mr. Bhagat’s image. Insiders worry that such trivial issues are more likely to hurt the PM and overshadow his bigger agenda, especially the upcoming negotiation with the Maoists. |
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| orion | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:16 PM
SUPREME COURT DISMISSES SUIT AGAINST SMR, ORION KATHMANDU, RSS: The Supreme Court today quashed the writ petitions against useless journalists SMR and Orion citing insufficient evidence. The court chastised the plaintiff,TSN management, for wasting the court's time in trying to sue two individuals but failing to show up in court. RSS has learnt that PM Bhagat, his Attorney Ahustosh Tiwari , and the TSN management who had all gone to the court for the hearing were busy talking shop over some tea in Supreme Court canteen when the court clerk yelled " Paramendra Bhagat hajir hunu ....". The clerk repeatedly called out Mr Bhagat, Mr Tiwari and TSN Management by name but when all of them failed to showed up the full bench of the Sumpreme Court ruled unanimoulsy that Mr SMR and Orion were falsely accused and dismissed all charges against them |
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| orion | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:20 PM
SMR, you are funny. Are you Sameer, by any chance ? (from the discussion thread "Defending the Sadhvawana") |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:24 PM
Press Release: CI House, Baluwatar The Prime Minister has submitted to the President his proposed cabinet. The nominations are as follows.
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| smr | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:24 PM
Orian, Why? You still want to have a cup of coffee with me! |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:48 PM
FOPs In A Scramble, Microsoft And Yahoo Gamble The Drudge Report, South Asia Edition October 10 It has been said that the FOPs - Friends Of Paramendra - have been in a mad scramble from Boston to Budapest to Bangkok, from Tanakpur to Janakpur to Sultanpur, ever since the gentleman made it to Baluwatar. Especially after he proposed his cabinet, many names that have been left out have been clamoring to get in into the leftover spots. The various embassies and commissions continue to have vacant spots in their leadership positions. It has been reported Bhagat has been spending more time on the phone with the FOPs than on "doing his work," a peon at his residence, his gamchha sliding, told this reporter on condition of strict anonymity. Both Hotmail and Yahoo have offered him e-mail accounts with 1MB of memory for the publicity that that would generate for their respective brand names. They were about to shut them down for the deluge of e-mails before they learned of the user's identity and saw a market opportunity instead. Similarly, Yahoo Geocities has opted for an unlimited data transfer protocol for his personal homepage he has nurtured since his student days, again for publicity. Most visitors to the site leave messages in the guestbook they found little of value there, reportedly. They claim instead that The Drudge Report has "more on him." |
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| orion | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 12:53 PM
You bet I do. You have an open invitation anytime you are in the Boston area. And the same goes for all others on this thread .... coffee, tea,latte whatever you drink. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 01:23 PM
Venue: Tundikhel Day and Time: Thursday Afternoon (Bhagat introduces his cabinet to the gathered mass, each of whom talk for a few minutes to briefly introduce themselves. More importantly, they talk of the work they hope to do. The general theme is the Maoist insurgency will be solved (Baburam Bhattarai inaugurated a toilet in western Nepal as a goodwill gesture), and the elections will be held in six months' time. Those two broad issues aside, this government was going to work full-fledged on all issues of economic development and social justice. Each member of the cabinet also mentioned their decision to join the Janata Dal after it is launched, in about a month or two, after peace with the Maoists is fully materialized. The crowd is overflowing. Loudspeakers can be seen as far away as Asan and Jamal hanging from the bijuli khambas, as the Tundikhel khula manch is full. Ratna Park is packed. The sidewalks are jammed. Then the Deputy Prime Minister introduces the Prime Minister as "the man who needs no introduction." Sajha.com that had been webcasting the performance had gone down because of heavy traffic. But the site administrator was able to bring it back up just in time for Bhagat's speech.) LOUD CHEERS "Desh ka neta kaisa ho Paramendra Bhagat jaisa ho" "Naya yug ko naya lalkar Ayo naya Nepal Sarkar" "Adhee roti khayenge, Janata Dal ko jitayenge" "Ghintang ghintang madal bajyo Bhandeu sab lai naya bihani ayo" "Jaat par na paat par Pappu Babu ke baat par" (After about three minutes, Bhagat raises his arms to quell the crowd so he can deliver his speech. He casts his prepared notes aside and starts to speak.) Bhela bhayeka ra bhela huna nasakeka saathi haroo ho. Chhoti muh badi baat. Ma ke bhanaun tapain haroo lai. Tapain haroo le malai bhanne ho. Hamee mantri mandal bhaneko ta tapain ko nokar. Tapain haroole hami lai talab diyera pud ma rakhnu bhayeko chha. Chha mahina hamro kaam hernos. Man parena bhane kharej gardenos. Man paryo bhane pheri phirta bolaunus. (He continues in his mixed Nepali and Hindi.) Nepal has finally become a republic. I am grateful for President Gyanendra's magnanimity. For the first time a strong anti-corruption drive has been launched that will sustain its momentum ever afterwards. All members of my cabinet have submitted their property details. They will do so again in six months, right before the elections. Women have attained their property rights. That is wonderful, but they have much more to attain. The work continues. I will be asking you to vote for a federeal form of government in six months during a referendum that will be held simultaneously with the parliamentary elections. That is where social justice starts. The madhesis, the janajatis and the dalits will get their due, finally, after centuries. I am proud I have a cabinet that looks like Nepal, that dresses like Nepal, that talks like Nepal, and that feels like Nepal. Our optimism infects the country and we are so very glad for it. But let me make it absolutely clear, our first and foremost priority is the national economy. We will focus on it with the intensity of the laser beam. Poverty is our number one problem. We will invest in the education and the health of our people in a massive way. We will create hundreds of thousands of new jobs. Everyone needs to go back to school. This administration believes in the mantra of lifelong education. La ta, dhilo pani huna lagyo. Dherai kati bhanam. Chhoti muh badi baat. Salaam Kathamandu. Salaam Nepal. (LOUD CHEERS FOLLOW.) |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 01:28 PM
MP Writers an Open Letter to PM and other Sajhabasis! Kathmandu, Oct 10 The Sinking Nepal The chief editor of the Sinking Nepal has written an open letter to prime minister Bhagat, who seemed to have moved to a very different Jagat after he was appointed to his post, and lamented over the growing personal animosities at Sajhapur. The letter is produced below. ___________________________________ To: Paramendra Kumar Bhagat Prime Minister Republic of Nepal and Samasta Sajhabasis Sajhapur. Dear Mr. Bhagat and everyone from the republic of Nepal residing at Sajha, Me and my collegue, Biruwa, are concerned over the growing personal attacks at Sajhapur. We hereby request everyone to respect each other's integrity and refrain from sucn acts in the future. Having said that in general, we would like to delve into some pertinent cases of misuse of power, free internet, strong hand muscles, and offensive thinking. We make a humble request to take our criticisms positively. We are not here to promote personal interests. The Sinking Nepal publication is committed to making plain humor. To begin with, Mr Ashutosh Tiwari, honorable CIAA chief has been misusing power. We think that Tiwari should not be worrying about getting a srimati while in office. This is against the law. Even law of Harvard defines this as illegal. He, however, can use his lunch and tiffin breaks to roam around Kathmandu and look for a "cute, humorous young lady with good journalistic skills". We advise that Tiwari put a banner behind a tempo stating "Srimati Ansan" and go around Rani pokhari 7 times each day during lunch break! Bitch Patrol is requested not to trace anybody's life too much into the past. And to respect the opposing views. If Mr George Dubya Bush of the United States of America could be right, noone can be wrong. Not even Mr Bhagat! Mr. Bhagat should limit praising himself all the time. He should realise that his appointment was a mere incidence althought his capabilities would have awarded him the hot seat provided he was related to some high ranking politician in the republic. On a side note, it comes as a surprise that he advised anybody who was not provided a job at the Sinking Nepal to start a new business/paper. We would like to make it clear that unlike Mr Bhagat's banner business, we do not have any. We are not here to compete with anybody. Kasaile niu nai khojchha bhane, kehi chhaina. We will get the .808 rifle back from Sitara and fight with whoever that is. We are not profit motivated. We do not hire anybody who does not seem apt for the job--no affirmative actions, not even towards Taraibasis! And although MP usually does the editing, he is not an one man army. All his employees are anonymous to him. We do not have any conspiracies, Mr Bhagat-rest assured. It has come to us a surprise that the Supreme Court dismissed our law suit against our former employees--orion and smr. However,we do approve Supreme Court's decision, the so-called apex of justice system in the republic. We also put forward a demand that we get to appoint the next set of judges like Orion and smr did this time. On a side note: we have now decided to specialize. Biruwa will be handling the internal affairs, including hire and fire of employees, determining pay rates, adverrtizement etc. I will be dealing with publication of the regular issues decided upon by the last Board of Director's meeting. Junkie, your application is pending on our office since we did not have a measuring rod to check your qualifications. MP will be writing to you later this evening about the decision. Best Wishes, MP The Sinking Nepal |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 01:31 PM
"All his employees are anonymous to him." LOL ........ Ashu, bad news. MP is an alpha male, it seems. "HIM." |
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| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 01:37 PM
ENOUGH! ENOUGHT is enough. Let's move on shall we? I think we had enough of this make believe thread. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 01:44 PM
007. The thread has barely started. |
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| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 01:56 PM
After you showed your cheap behaviour by posting Banners to try to make some money - pretending to help out this site, I don't think you deserve any attention anymore. Let's put this thread to an end everyone. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 02:22 PM
I don't know about you, James, but I am here because this is the funniest thread there is. |
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| Junkie | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 04:06 PM
Not so Quick Mr. Byand, Not before I get my job ....... |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 05:04 PM
Kathmandu, Oct 10 The Sinking Nepal Dear Mr. Bonds, Praising someone and bringing someone into light are two different things. We bring people into light, dig into their drawbacks, whet them and push them to the battlefield. While at the rehab center, we maim their personality--with humor--offend them at times; the overal intention is not to instigate a war but to create an atmosphere where people can learn without necessarily being humilated. You ask us- who are we to do that? We are nobody. But it is a coterie of "nobodys" that are required to change people. James, the whole idea of the Sinking Nepal emanated from frustration--political turmoil in Nepal, supporters of ex-king Gyanendra not realizing a thing and waging their tail towards their master and so on. And I am overwhelmed by my staff who have helped me pull myself out of this whirlpool of quandaries and hatred towards the way the world is made. Mr Bhagat possibly had good intentions behind posting the poster ad. True, we can not be certain of his intentions but do we have any inkling that he was trying to act against the norms and values of Sajha? I do not see with my 7/7 sight! Only CIAA chief honorable Ashutosh Tiwari, who suddenly switched to part time job at Sajha recently, can give a legitimate decision as to whether this thread should stop. We can make our own claims but the Sinking Nepal publication will not shut down unless it itself deems it necessary or is charged by San, the landlord of Sajhapur, as jeopardizing the friendliness of Sajha, in which case the Sinking Nepal will start a new thread. If you decide not to contribute to our publication and stop reading them, it will be unfortunate for us. We do not want to lose a valued costumer like you. You are, of course, free to make your own decision. Best Wishes, MP The Sinking Nepal ______________________________________________________ Dear Junkie, My apologizes for this severe delay in getting back to you. The decision on your employment has now been made. Your application was quite impressive. However, we are sorry to inform you that we have decided not to hire you. Since we could not hire you, we wanted to grade your application as a complement for applying to our publication. You scored 2 in a scale of ten, ten being the best. Here is the break down of your score: Effort: 1.90 Humor: 0.08 Content: 0.02 Format: 0.02 Address: -0.03 [We do not entertain chaakadi here!] M.P.'s Bonus: 0.01 We suggest that with such low scores, you can only apply to Harvard. We understand that it will be a pain in the butt getting there but we assure you that you will come out with flying colors after some years. The Law of Harvard clearly states that "If one get's to Harvard, there is 99% possibility that she will acquire an honor's degree and 98% probability that she will get A- average, cetiris paribus." This law does not, however, apply to Nepalis as they would work hard anyway. Thank you once again for applying. You certainly helped us to improve our ranking in the US News by pulling down our acceptance rate. We request you to tell your peers to do the same. Cheers, MP The Sinking Nepal. |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 05:06 PM
Kathmandu, Oct 10 The Sinking Nepal
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 05:15 PM
The Sinking Nepal- Advertisement Page
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| Dilasha | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 05:49 PM
Lol Biruwa ji! here's one for you!! BIRUWA ROPAN KENDRA Looking for a young 20-25 years old energetic male who can work 24/7 in our greenhouse at Sanothimi. Qualifications: 1. Fourth grade diploma 2. Ability to lift 70-90 lbs of bot biruwa 3. A two year certificate from Bally’s weight lifting center (you know why- if not please refer to no. 2) 4. Should be “plant literate” meaning before applying he should have read the book called “how to communicate with your plants” Note: BIRUWA ROPAN KENDRA strongly believes in Equal Employment Opportunity and do not discriminate on the basis of race, gender and age. So please send your resume asap! |
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| Dilasha | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 05:50 PM
Hyaterika asked "Dilasha, When is Paschim tying knots?" Hyaterika ji, I don't know about other knots, but if you are talking about the "holy matrimonial knot" then I'd like to make this clear to you- I am neither an authorized spokesperson nor the next door neighbor of Mr. Paschim to have any knowledge about this private information. And even if I did, I wouldn't announce it to the wild wild world of Sajhapur and thus violate his privacy. Besides, I don't like to be "nosey" on other people's private matters kya! Therefore, I kindly suggest you to dig into those juicy tabloids such as the National Enquirer or even our very own Sinking Nepal for such enquiries. Btw, didn't you read in the Oct 9th issue of SN that Paschim was planning to go Shopping with Kim jong hong wong? So, perhaps you need to ask that Kim guy(or is it a girl?) what he's upto bhanera. :) Having said this, I WILL reveal you a secret, kripaya kasailai nabhannus hai? :) At Paschim's request, I have agreed to be his campaign manager for the 2007 elections . You see I have a PHD in Public Relations which has been my bread and butter and also have been helping Senator Wellstone with his campaign lately therefore Paschim is keen on having me handle his campaigns in the future and since he's a dear friend of mine i'm not charging him a dime! ssshhhshhhhh!! don't spill the beans!! |
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| SMR | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 06:44 PM
P.M. Bhagat Flayed for His Remark: I Invented Sajha.Com October 12, Katmandu (The Sinking Nepal) – While the lawsuit against the Nepali Prime Minister Bhagat by the three Nepali intellectuals on the issue of the intellectual property rights regarding the lifting of materials from the Kurakani discussions was still pending, the airwave, the television, and the newspapers began to fill with yet another scandal. During a highly touted meeting with the Nepali businessmen and scientists of the IT sector, the newly appointed Prime Minister Mr. Bhagat apparently made the following comment: “I invented Sajha.com.” Infuriated citizens of Sajha.com bombarded the Sinking Nepal hotline with numerous complains. Their furious spoke person, Beachpatrol, charged Mr. Bhagat for showing a pathological behavior, widely known as Goresque around the Washington circle, and questioned his character. He demanded an apology from Mr. Bhagat and even threatened to file a lawsuit against the Prime Minister. The Kathmandu elite is well aware of the long time rivelary between the two however. A press conference at the CI House, Baluwataar is expected this evening. ORION, vacationing in Pokhara’s Fulbari with his family, is heading back to the valley to handle the situation. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 07:03 PM
I Have Come to Bury Paru NOT to Praise HIM!!!! Thursday Supplement The Sinking Nepal "I Have Come to Bury Paru NOT to Praise Him" says a visibly upset 007 blowing off the smoke of his smoking gun! "For Paru is a Fine Man, NOT a Fine Ruler!!!!", He continued ruthlessly revealing his intentions of doing away with the MP of Republic of Nepal. 007 who was well known for his golden gun and lethal aim was said to have been seen as distracted and disoriented as he took pot shots at Paru. Paru, the usual Martyr unbuttoned his shirt in a very dramatic way and said "Bring IT on! Freedom or Death is my battle cry! I will die a hundred deaths for every multiple personality I carry!!!". 007 obviously taken aback at such blatant courage, stalled for a spilt second. One half of the second disaimed him and the other half served to move his attention to a passing nymph who happened to be campaigning for the Great Paschim of the East. Needless to say that 007 was doomed! As the PhD. intern gave 007 a haw bhaoo kattakchya ko look, his normally steady finger quaked at the trigger sending the bullet flying at the nearby Bush, who happened to be in Nepal looking for a Proxy state for his Terror campaign. Bush, who was frightened out of his witless, called upon Powell to contain 007 who had been originally trained to root out political misfits like Isolated Freak, a known terroist in league with Carlos the Terror! Sitara, the snooty journalist with her lethal gun borrowed from the CIA had uncovered that Bush and Paru were thick as thieves as far as the terrotist game went. Bush had apparantly promised Paru the presidency if he (paru) let him (Bush) build a military stronghold in the bushes of Terai. 007 was apparently hired to assasinate Paru if Paru did not cooperate and backed down at the last moment. However, there was a small technical detail regarding 007: he had the softest corner for vivacious interns...campaigning for Paschim. Needlless to say that Paschim of the East had the good fortune to hire only the best and beautifullest and the mostest of females. The CIA knowing about 007's weakness for the weaker sex had put a chastity belt on 007 and given the keys to Ashu....the CIAA big guy. Obviously, 007 was not conditioned to work under such restricted conditions, knowing that others than himself had himself by his..........keys (...of the chastity belt). This minor detail and the fact that the intern had happened to pass by the cross-hair of his gun and split the second, (a scientific phenomena...under scrutiny by CIAA) saved Paru's life. As 007 was rescued by Bush's CIA men, 007 kept fidgeting and looking for Ashu....the keeper of his keys. Ashu on the otherhand was last seen frantically scrambling on his knees searching for something that he seemed to have lost in the bush as he had dived for cover when 007's bullet went astray. Intrigue: The intrigue noted is that noone seems to now if Ashu deliberately lost 007's keys to his chastity belt! The fact remains that both had been eyeing the vivacious intern at the historical split of the second! Reported from the line of fire Sitara; a freelance journalist |
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| SMR | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 07:37 PM
Deputy Prime Minister Chanda Shrestha’s Appointment Draws Criticism October 13, Sajhapur (The Sinking Nepal): Within a week of taking the oath of office, the first Madhesi Prime Minister of Nepal , Paramendra Bhagat, has been inundated with a number of scandals, mostly pertaining to his habit of embellishments. Insiders hint that the newly revealed scandal seems more serious. The rumor has it that the newly appointed DPM Ms. Shrestha, a part time model one time, has had crush on Mr. Bhagat while he was a student. A cousin of Udit Narayan’s Nepali wife Ms. Shrestha got acquainted with Mr. Bhagat while he was in Mumbay as a guest at the singer’s house. Some tabloids in the valley have begun to publish various speculative accounts of Mr. Bhagat's frequent visits to Mumbay. Just returned from Pokhara from his vacation, Mr. ORION, the press secretary and the PM’s long-time friend, told the Sinking Nepal that such rumors are baseless, but he declined to comment any further. The Palace had appointed Mr. Bhagat for being “Mr. Clean,” but the insider assures that the Palace is firmly behind the PM. Ms. Shrestha could not be reached for a comment. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 08:34 PM
Ha ha ha!!! SMR.... funny! Sitara gone almost insane due to the near death experience she had with 007's smoking gun!!! |
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| ashu | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:12 PM
MP et al, In my part-time capacity as the CIAA Chief of Sajhastan -- and having taken the laws of Nepal, Sajhastan and Harvard into account -- I hereby declare that this thread need NOT stop. Democracy requires free and unfettered press, and I say, press on!! I also suggest that you and Biruwa make SMR and Orion reporters at large in your publication. Both of them seem to add more color and punch, not to mention bite and wit, to your trademark journalistic excellence. Anything less, I will be forced to say while wearing my CIAA Chief ko hat, is an abuse of your power. On another note, let me confess how severely depressed I am to sense that you may NOT be Miss Putalimaiya (MP) as I had hoped but someone with a name like, say, Madhav Prasad (MP). Ah, you know, life happens . . . and you move on. As Narayan Gopal sang, "Jha.ray ko paat jhai bha.yo . . ." At any rate, now that the press has gotten wind of my "srimati hunt", I will be making that a low-key affair in public. As per your suggestion, I have hired a Safa Tempo, and will be devoting my tiffin-time to, well, feeding grapes, one by one, to young women. oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| ashu | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:15 PM
MP et al, In my part-time capacity as the CIAA Chief of Sajhastan -- and having taken the laws of Nepal, Sajhastan and Harvard into account -- I hereby declare that this thread need NOT stop. Democracy requires free and unfettered press, and I say, press on!! I also suggest that you and Biruwa make SMR and Orion reporters at large in your publication. Both of them seem to add more color and punch, not to mention bite and wit, to your trademark journalistic excellence. Anything less, I will be forced to say while wearing my CIAA Chief ko hat, is an abuse of your power. On another note, let me confess how severely depressed I am to sense that you may NOT be Miss Putalimaiya (MP) as I had hoped but someone with a name like, say, Madhav Prasad (MP). Ah, you know, life happens . . . and you move on. As Narayan Gopal sang, "Jha.ray ko paat jhai bha.yo . . ." At any rate, now that the press has gotten wind of my "srimati hunt", I will be making that a low-key affair in public. As per your suggestion, I have hired a Safa Tempo, and will be devoting my tiffin-time to, well, feeding grapes, one by one, to "smart, funny women with a great sense of humor, flowing writing styles and a zest for life." oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| Junkie | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:25 PM
Yahooo ..... high score in effort ...... pocket money increase hune bhayo when my dad sees that. And bonus from M.P. of 0.01 ....... haray ek din I will learn to do a better job of chakadi. Until then will try for male-Hardvard ..... seems like only she succeeds in Hardvard ........ bichara ma allaray keto. |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:30 PM
Kathmandu, Oct 10 The Sinking Nepal (Night issue) SMR and Orion two former employees with TSN, have been taken back into the TSN family fold. SMR and Orion were previously expelled from TSN for their rash news reporting and because they were found to be sufferring from mental illness. Chief Editor, speaking to this reporter said " SMR ra Orion le aaba aa-inda harek aagya paalan garchu bhane ra sajhapur ko galli no. 420 ma marathon chakkar kate pachi mero maan nahuni jastai pagli yo." The board of Directors of the publication have issued a statement to the public announcing the reinstatement of SMR and Orion as junior journalists. The statement also goes on to say that "after adequate period of quarantine during which their mental health as well as integrity will be further tested they will be promoted to lead journalists. They should take this opportunity to demonstrate their commitment to principles ofjournalism and not to meander off into their previously renouned insanity!" On another note, Mr. Biruwa ( manager of TSN) laughed aloud on hearing Dilasha's(of "Dilasha Diamonds and Jewellers, INC. fame) joke. He said "Jasto lai tyastai, Dhido lai nistai". On yet another news the CIAA cheif, Aashutosh Tiwari, is undergoing severe depression. His vague hope of a "srimati" has been crushed. However his positive approach to this issue by acknowledging the problem gives all sajhapur basi haru hope that he will be more active in both of his job, one as an investigator and another as a srimati hunter". |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:30 PM
Prime Minister Bhagat Resigns on Moral Grounds Kathmandu, Oct 12 The Sinking Nepal After receiving hoards of email and phone threats accusing him of misuse of power, interim Prime Minister Paramendra Kumar Bhagat has finally resigned. He submitted his resignation to President Gyanendra today at 3pm. He was accompanied to the ex-palace by his body guard, Lalloo Parsad Yadav of Bihar. Talking from the back seat of the riksha Yadav was driving, Bhagat said he had been deserted by everyone--his peers from highschool, his gaaules and even dubnai-laageko-ghaam Hridaye Tripathi. "Hum ne Baluwatar chhodaa he" [I left Baluwataar], Bhagat was heard singing after leaving Baluwatar this afternoon. Although details are still blur, Bhagat has been said to have had a firece battle with James Bonds. Our senior reporter Sitara had witnessed Bhagat and James Bond quarrelling in the streets of Sajhapur. With extreme belligerence, James Bonds is known to be the only person capable of counteracting Bhagat with verbal attacks. Although Bhagat has put forward "morality" as the cause of his resignation, many claim that he had accepted Gyanendra's offer "just to keep the record" of being the first madhesi Prime Minister. "I have been charged of doing underground business, exhibiting ego and being too biased towards the janajatis. Although none of the reasons seem bad to me, I revere mass opinion and therefore, decided not to cling to power any more", Bhagat said as he came out of (Gajendra)Narayanhity. Bhagat will head for Janakpur tomorrow. He will be having his dinner at an "undisclosed location" in Mugling. Security in Mugling has been tightened to ensure that he is not poisoned. The sinking Nepal will be update its readers on Bhagat's journey. Meanwhile, President Gyanendra blushed and seemed helpless when Bhagat handed over the resignation. "Our diligence to create stability in the nation have gone in vain", Gyanendra said. Gyanendra had appointed Bhagat in a swasthani-story manner [For our readers who do not know the secrets of King selection procedure in Swasthani, a Hatti goes around with a garland and whoever the hatti puts the garland on becomes the King]after not finding any suitable individual to the post. President Gyanendra has postponed his address to the nation scheduled for tomorrow. The President is known for making all significant decisions during festivals, at midnight and at other weird times. However, it is unlikely that he will make any decision on the nomination of the next PM until Purnima since most people will be fasting and staying jaagraam during the nights of nava durga. Gyanendra prefers to make decisions while everyone is either sleeping or busy with something else. He also went to Gorkha, so-called the "the land of nyaaye" to take blessings from Durga but seems like Durga alone wont be able to help him this time! "Even 33 koti Devatas wont be able to help him," intellectuals based on Kathmandu say. Streets of Kathmandu have been flooded with people--both supporting the PM's move and the opponents celebrating it. In order to prevent mishaps, General Prajjwal Tamasaa-her Raana has announced a curfew from 6pm this evening to 6am tomorrow. Dr. Haraam Bhattarai has been flown to Birendra Police Hospital, Maharajgunj, Kathmandu for treatment after he became unconscious on seeing the day light after 5 years while heading for Tamghas, Gulmi to inaugrate a latrin. He had been suffering from diarrhoea and depression after the recent move by ex-King Gyanendra. "If this was so easy, why on hell did my party kill so many people?" He has been recorded to have said. RaSaSa |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:35 PM
Have Come to Bury Paru NOT to Praise HIM!!!! Thursday Supplement The Sinking Nepal "I Have Come to Bury Paru NOT to Praise Him" says a visibly upset 007 blowing off the smoke of his smoking gun! "For Paru is a Fine Man, NOT a Fine Ruler!!!!", He continued ruthlessly revealing his intentions of doing away with the MP of Republic of Nepal. 007 who was well known for his golden gun and lethal aim was said to have been seen as distracted and disoriented as he took pot shots at Paru. Paru, the usual Martyr unbuttoned his shirt in a very dramatic way and said "Bring IT on! Freedom or Death is my battle cry! I will die a hundred deaths for every multiple personality I carry!!!". 007 obviously taken aback at such blatant courage, stalled for a spilt second. One half of the second disaimed him and the other half served to move his attention to a passing nymph who happened to be campaigning for the Great Paschim of the East. Needless to say that 007 was doomed! As the PhD. intern gave 007 a haw bhaoo kattakchya ko look, his normally steady finger quaked at the trigger sending the bullet flying at the nearby Bush, who happened to be in Nepal looking for a Proxy state for his Terror campaign. Bush, who was frightened out of his witless, called upon Powell to contain 007 who had been originally trained to root out political misfits like Isolated Freak, a known terroist in league with Carlos the Terror! Sitara, the snooty journalist with her lethal gun borrowed from the CIA had uncovered that Bush and Paru were thick as thieves as far as the terrotist game went. Bush had apparantly promised Paru the presidency if he (paru) let him (Bush) build a military stronghold in the bushes of Terai. 007 was apparently hired to assasinate Paru if Paru did not cooperate and backed down at the last moment. However, there was a small technical detail regarding 007: he had the softest corner for vivacious interns...campaigning for Paschim. Needlless to say that Paschim of the East had the good fortune to hire only the best and beautifullest and the mostest of females. The CIA knowing about 007's weakness for the weaker sex had put a chastity belt on 007 and given the keys to Ashu....the CIAA big guy. Obviously, 007 was not conditioned to work under such restricted conditions, knowing that others than himself had himself by his..........keys (...of the chastity belt). This minor detail and the fact that the intern had happened to pass by the cross-hair of his gun and split the second, (a scientific phenomena...under scrutiny by CIAA) saved Paru's life. As 007 was rescued by Bush's CIA men, 007 kept fidgeting and looking for Ashu....the keeper of his keys. Ashu on the otherhand was last seen frantically scrambling on his knees searching for something that he seemed to have lost in the bush as he had dived for cover when 007's bullet went astray. Intrigue: The intrigue noted is that noone seems to now if Ashu deliberately lost 007's keys to his chastity belt! The fact remains that both had been eyeing the vivacious intern at the historical split of the second! Reported from the line of fire Sitara; a freelance journalist |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:37 PM
ooooooooooooooops!!!!!!!! This is baasi khabar!!!!! :( Editor's mistake!!! |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 09:55 PM
Holy cow...Some posters here are an absolute riot!! Dilasha, Head of the Intern Bureau in my Office, could you kindly assign one of those PhD nymphs working under you for a date with me aaundo sukrabaar at Jaya Nepal Chitra Ghar? I heard they are playing "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge"..pura Digital dhamaka ka saath...or would dating my own staff be a gross "conflict of interest"? I request the CIAA Chief to advise me on this if he's not too busy hunting for his own wife issuing grapes from his Safa Tempo at tiffin hours! Let me steal the thunder from 007 (as in "The name is Bond. James Bond"). Although I have long noticed that our own 007 is Jame Bonds -- with the "S" creatively mis-placed. Anyway, This is P; Paschim P -- and I like Martinis. Stirred, not shaken :) |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:07 PM
PROJECT MATA HARI Thursday Supplement The Sinking Nepal "I've been Framed, locked, stocked and barrelled" Back at the CIA head quarters, 007 was convinced of foulplay by Ashu, the key holder screamed in his impotent rage..."I have been Framed, locked, stocked and barrelled!!! and the keys thrown away to the wolf". As he struggled to wiggle out of his chastity belt, the CIA engineers and doctors consulted amongst themselves if they should just cut away the offending apparatus or defunct it. 007 who had never been so humiliated in his life swore to go after both Paru and Ashu with a vengeance; IFF he could free himself off the chastity belt. Meanwhile, Ashu who gleefully pocketed the keys (to 007's chastity belt) thought to himself "Good riddance!!! One less eligible bachelor to worry about!." The CIAA big guy Ashu, in the meantime had arranged to meet clandestinely with Sitara the undercover journalist! He had hope to recruit her as a MataHaris-que double agent and send her to French Vietnam to charm the Great Paschim into wearing a Chastity belt, thus getting rid of yet another eligible bachelor and recruiting all of those Phd. interns for himself. Despite such ambitious aspirations, Ashu could not bring himself to broach the subject to Sitara, fearing her semantic sword known to fly at her feminine whims (unpredictable). She was also known for her sharp tongue more than her French kiss!It was also rumoured that the saree she wore concealed a karate kick which flew at random will. Needless to say that the clandestine meeting bore no fruit and the Project Mata Hari was dumped on the tables of CIAA's big boss. The French connection was derailed!!! The Great Paschim still enjoys all the French connections and Freedoms coming from Not wearing a chastity belt. The famous belt now hangs in Ashu's office waiting further projects to take off. Sitara Reporting live from Undercovers The Sinking Nepal |
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| Arnico | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:08 PM
This paschim dude is turning more and more into Clinton... except that he's having someone else pick out the intern for him... what is he thinking, feeding hungry reporters of TSN with juicy stories to bring up during his campaign so that the public will focus upon them instead of on the issues! Very sneaky indeed. But the voters of sajhapur won't be fooled. Paschim will win or lose because of the issues he stands for... And what are we doing in sajhapur now, without a PM? Imitating Nepal? Or shall we just go back to Biswo who never resigned in the first place? |
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| SMR | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:29 PM
*********BREAKIN NEWS************* Gyanendra Declared King Again October 13, Sajapur (The Sinking Nepal) After unceremoniously ousting the first Madeshi Prime Minister Bhagat, President Gyanendra reinstated himself as a Monarch. The members of the Raj Parishad and the influential Brigadier General of the Number Char Bahini Prayag Bahadur JBR were influential in this new development. Chanting on the loud speaker the slogans, “Long Live King Gyanendra” and “Bhag Bhag Bhagat,” a band of motorcyclists toured the town. Political pundits speculate that the ethical reason was the main reason behind the ouster, but the Palace insider, under the condition of anonymity, revealed that a Dhoti Kurta wearing Nepali Prime Minister’s picture with the American Ambassador on the front page of widely popular daily the Sinking Nepal was what sealed Mr. Bhagat’s fate. The media had also noted that Mr. Bhagat had never worn a Nepali Daura Suruwal dress. When asked about it during an informal press conference, Mr. ORION defended Mr. Bhagat’s personal liberty, freedom, and his constitutional right to wear what he pleases. On numerous occasions, Mr. Bhagat was photographed wearing jeans and shorts however. The Shiva Sena of India hailed the Parishad’s decision to declare Nepal as a Hindu State again. Unofficial sources also say that Baba Thakre is scheduled to visit Nepal next month. Mr. Bhagat’s nemesis Bitchpatroll’s frequent visit to the palace has created some interesting speculative guesses among the elite of the valley. Th whole country is eagerly waiting for the next move. |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:48 PM
Ha ha!!! Sitara, your creativity rocks...So you are the female 007 we never had?! Recruiting Bond "boys" for your mission by any chance? :) Arnico -- haven't decided yet on the depth of my indiscretions. But my private adventures will both be moral and legal -- don't fret. And they won't distract us from our mission of public service. The battle will be fought on Issues -- good job sikchhya mantri with your niti tatha karyakram the other day...one of my interns said you looked terrific on TV with your Dhaka Topi and wondered if you were single? :) Btw, are we really without a PM now? Like in Nepal? MP ra Biruwa ko patrika le pani "pitta patrakarita" gari rakhya jasto chha ni? What's the truth? Has PKB resigned, has Biswo been sacked? Is the clever President colliding the Pahade (Biswo) and Madhesi (PKB) camps to secure his own hold on power? Will he go back to being the King -- and starting a hereditary oligarchy once again? "Sinking Nepal" -- pls. inform us -- as far as I know, the Prez hasn't yet clamped down on the press, although all journalists seem to have been lured to a camp not worth speaking its name. |
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| batauli | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:49 PM
Sushr Patr_kari_devi, Khasakti hui Nepal - Hindi parisistank! Pranam. Bahut laamo samae dehkhi ma aapko Kathmandooo ma aapkai gali ma subzi byapar gardachhu. Ma khun le Champaran ko chhu, tara mero pasina Kathmandoo ko chha. Nagriktaa ta huzur ma Nepal kai hu. Chappan Lal bata jo sunna ma aayo ki Hamrai Madhesia Mantri Paraminder ta to Nepal ko Chief Ministar bhaigawa. Aapkai patrkama jo padheko chhu. Yasai rista le hami subzi bayepari pani apno ek arganison kholiliu. Paraminder babu le jo amrika ko olomat idea sikhaunu bho, aami ustai hisab ko tarai_bazar kholchhu. Aap kai patrkama adbatise garchhu. Arko baat ke bhane, aami subzi bayepari arganison bata paraminder babu lai cheip minster bata pura Bharat kai Priminister banauchhu. Ma bayepar ta Kathmandoo ma garchhu.. lekin dilli ma mero foren ko expor impor dukan chha. Uta mero naam Maakhan Laal Chauhan ho. Thikana aapko pathai_dinchhu, e-mil bata. Paraminder babu Bharat ke priminister hone se Aap ka Nepal or hamara hindustan ke beech jo khula seema pade hai.. hum waha faalful faram karke do rashtra ke bayeparik samband ko aur majboot karenge. Paraminder babu jub itne se chhote se thhe.. woh aise hi baat karte thhe.. Ab samazh me aa raha hai. Ek Final baat, patr_kari_devi, Aap ko koi import wala subzi laaun? Amrika se Paraminder babu ke ferend Bilwa ne bheja hai.. aur suna hai ki Bilwa.. wohi.. jiske dharampatni kuch saal pehle kathmandoo me aate bakt hamare dukan se gobi aur matar kharidi thi.. aapko bulaya hai.. Amrika se nyoutha aaya hai.. Bhagwan aap ki yaad kare.. Makhani |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:54 PM
To: Biruwa Director of Propaganda and Recruitment. Dear Biruwa, A complaint has been filed at the Board of Directors that the newly recruited journalist Mr SMR has broken lose again. Could you please send him for one final mental check up and recheck the latest report he has submitted. I request you to keep this confidential since this might be detrimental to Mr SMR's personal integrity and to the prestige of the publication in the long run. After you receive the report from the mental hospital, feel free to take necessary action. You can also hire consultants if you need but make sure you mend all loopholes in the administration. Talk to Sitara and make sure that she does not disclose this thing to the CIAA chief. Thanks a bunch, MP Editor-in-Chief PS: I have been called to the Gajendra Narayan-hity palace by the ex-king [I will refer Gyanendra as the king only after you verify that SMR's report is right]. If SMR's report is authentic, I might be grilled by this toothless leader. Make sure you remain at a distance in case they arrest me. Let's keep this between you and me. Also, there is a stack of papers on the right of my desk opposite to the front window. Can you sign them on my behalf and ask the secretary to mail them before 10am tomorrow? |
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| NK | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:54 PM
A private message made public. Dear Deep, The resignation is handed and accepted and Param Indra is a yesterday's news! Your branding me as an "extreme radical" may spook our ex-king president Gyanendra and derail my chance to serve the country radically. My numerous attempts to contact our Susasan Dal prez, Biswo has gone nowhere but I have not lost hope. The last time I heard from him was he was exchanging some classified information pertaining some kanya with "paschim from Purba" and honorable CIA chief, chasity belt key keeper, yet another perennial bachelor, Ashu. My dear Deep. something worries me and I am going to share this with you. Although I am somewhat an insider since I am elected member of his Susasan Dal, I never desired for this kind of post. I enjoy being an outsider and jeer and throw logs at insiders. By the time you get this letter, I may be handing out my resignation to our leader. Yes, I will go back to writing "radical" and cynical poetry while grumbling at the state of this "bir" nation. Dear Mitra Deep, have you ever wondered why my fellow countrymen, ex-pat, and every Nepali (especially male) in between so enchanted with politics? Have you wondered why they are so obsessed with this prime minister post? Why even in virtual land like Sajha this nomination and renomination of prime ministers and the cabinet members appears as a recurring nightmare? Why are people so enthralled with this whole notion of being in charge, the sarbey sarba? Or, is it precisely because of that fact (or is this just a perceived notion) they find it so alluring and sexy that they are attracted to this (idea) like Clinton with that intern? Is there some “projection” going on here? Or is it a “transference?” Either way it is neurosis and I don’t want any part of it. I would like to end of my letter with a little something: A National Sport Thick Black line crosses the corridor, Diagonally; Deserted hall whispers about the yester years’, Ghosts. A red troll darts in and out of the division. Awestruck, Spectators. Diamond tiara. Five feet high throne. Thunderous claps. Best, NK |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:56 PM
And SMR and I were having the same fears at the same time -- President Gyanendra BACK as King! |
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| NK | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 10:59 PM
one correction: please read "ex-king Gyanendra" not "ex-president Gyanendra" There might be other mistakes but I don't deem it necessary to go back and correct those. :) |
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| Arnico | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 11:22 PM
May be Gyanendra of Kantipur is too busy to meet with party leaders and too busy to announce the cabinet at the promised time because he busy surfing sajha.com, reading about the ups and downs of the Gyanendra of Sajhapur... |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 11:25 PM
Apologies to dear NK for being one of those suffering from neurosis. But such is the importance of governance in national life that I for one find this disease harmless with no side effects. And I don't think it is contagious if one chooses to stay away from it, hoina? Nice poem, though, as always! And just read that the "mother" of the present constitution of the kingdom has himself declared the king's recent action as "constitutionally unjustifiable". Source: KOL. http://www.kantipuronline.com |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 10-Oct-02 11:26 PM
Inauguration of Dilasha Distillery & Cookies Thursday Supplement The Sinking Nepal The owner of Dilasha Diamonds and Jewelers INC, the vibrant Dilasha Devi, has co-founded Dilasha Distillery & Cookies with Arnico Highway Products. A statement issued on Thursday said that the tie-up would allow the company to display its Brewery products in every Bhatti pasal through out the Arnico Highway. The company on Thursday launched a wide range of dazzling products ranging from Samosa Whiskey to Sitara beer . A much dizzy Mr. Bhagat (the former PM) on his way to Janakpur came for the inauguration and guzzled a few cocktails of gin and brandy. In the next eight months, the company expects to make a sales turnover of Rs 960 crore, with the consumer base showing a steep rise. Biruwa Reporting from Inaguration manch |
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| Biswo | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 12:07 AM
Hi all, Thanks for your concern about me (ex-PM). Here is a report on what happened after my unceremonial sacking by the then and the incumbent His Majesty. ---- It was a shock. But what shocked me more was the acts of the rats, ie Paschim and Ashu. While other ministers consoled me, called me, emailed me even after my sacking,( I particularly remember Arnico helping me to load my puraano boxes in thelagaadaa so that I could take my old clothes from Baluwaatar to Kalankisthan where I rented two rooms in a dilapidated house) Paschim happily accepted the post of some lousy ministry and Ashu went on to become CIAA chief. Fortunately, our old friend from Sajhapur, Hahooguru, recently living a life of troglodyte in the Mt Fuji, called from his cave using a Nokia cellphone that night to console me. Few people know that Hahooguru also serves as Poudel family's kulaguru. His father pored over my father's chinaa and decided the auspicious day for descending to Chitwan from Pokhara about fifty years ago, and tyo kram is still continuing. "I told you not to believe in unmarried persons."He said. Then whispering, he added, "Paschim's and Khum Bahadur's chinaa looks identical. They look for good ministry and chwaak girls all the times. Loyalty of sch people tends to be fickle." "What about Ashu? " "He went to CIAA basically to nail you. He still holds grudge against you for all those past hardballing in sajhapur. I tried to warn you in your last debate re intellectuals of Kathmandu. You wouldn't listen. You need to be thankful to the king that he fired this Bhagat guy soon." So, I cheered up a bit after that discussion. Then, without arranging my stuffs, I went to Kalankichouk, and bought a recent edition of "The Sinking Nepal" which was being sold like a hotcake from a dark bookstore opened in the first floor of an old house in the chouk.As soon as I read some of the news, I had a hunch that I knew that MP guy, writing looked so fishy and so resembling to someone else, that I fired one letter to him expressing my suspicion. Now, after several days, that this brief experience with republican Nepal (alas, our mitra Nepe whose devotion to that cause was known to everybody, wasn't made even a shaakhaa adhikrit during that republican era) is behind us, the king has invited me, as an ex-PM, to hold discussion with him. He often speaks in English with me, because he doesn't want to say 'tapaai' in Nepali to any other Nepali fella, and so I am trying to think in English what to tell him, because I have to think before I speak a long sentence in English.Oh, Just saw that dude Tulsi Giri coming out of Narayanhiti palace. |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 12:46 AM
Bulletin Board memo to the staff of "The Sinking Nepal" Dashain Peski Samandhi Dear Staff, As you know our quarterly paper has been gaining popularity every minute. CEO: 2 Kalo boka and 1 hans ko ful Chief Editor: 1 Kalo boka and 1 hans ko ful Director: 2 dozen naribal 1 K.g. Barfi Senior Journalist: 1 sano Khasi and 1 dozen hans ko ful Junior Journalist: 2 dozen hans ko ful and 1 crate Sitara Beer (Donated by Dilasha Distillery and Cookies) Secretary: 1 Can Citamol tablets (She complains of getting headaches from too much work assigned by M.P) and 2 Blister remover lotion Bucket . Security Guard: 2400 Bore semi-automatic Rifle and 1 crate Samosa Whisky. Delivery Boy: 1 crate Samosa Whisky. The paper wishes all Staff members a happy and prosperous Dashain. Mr. Samachar ji Chief Manager The Sinking Nepal |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 06:03 AM
Hey, watch out for the Sitara beer: Guaranteed to intoxicate you and make you see stars if not tori ko phool. Ofcourse guaranteed to give a semantic kick and a humorus high!!!! :) Dilasha distillery forgot to write the warning: Drink at your own risk!!!! NEWS Snippet: The CIAA Head honcho was found inebrieted with Sitara beer as he was discussing the Project Mata Hari with Sitara. Refer to Project Mata Hari above! |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 06:43 AM
Hehe Paschim Ji Female 007 eh??????? ...Might need that as an additional facet until the random killer is caught!!! :) |
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| Jame Bonds | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 07:06 AM
The Fall of Paramendra Sajhapur, The Sinking Nepal October 11, 2002 Nepal's ex PM Paramendra who once used to be raised in pedestals is now seeing dust and garbage close to his chin. Intelligence sources said despite having an impeccable writing style and a penchant for bringing up valid issues, PK Bhagat suffers from the Cow to Pajero Syndrome. In the words of his teacher Pashu Krishna Bhagwala, as a young student, PK demonstrated exceptional abilities in his studies, marred only by his exceptional greed. He termed it as the Cow to Pajero Syndrome. He stated instances where PK was caught taking things from his friends plates when they were not looking. Mahesh Budathoki, a classmate says, "PK is a great friend, a great guy, only thing is that he desires for Pajero more than anything. He tries to be a humanitarian, he tries to be a good politician, but his ultimate goal is to go back to his village in his Pajero." Reuters report that PK is now considering a Maruti instead of a Pajero. He was last seen trying to stuff some cows in the back of his Maruti. CIAA is considering ordering PK to a hearing about how he earned enough money to buy a Maruti, in the short span of his PM-ship of 3 days. Sources say that during the 3 days of glory, he was able to influence some website to run some advertisements to generate such massive income. The advertisement has been taken down since his removal from office. It is believed that PK is driving to the village in the Maruti right now. After having his mechanic friend Ghooshya Lal remove the Maruti symbol and replace with the Pajero symbol of luxury in the front of his Maruti, PK feels that he has achieved his goal. As a bonus, Ghooshya Lal included the prestigious symbol of Mercedes at the back of his Maruti as well. __________________________________________________________________ Disclaimer: All Characters and names fictional. Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental and regretted. |
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| Deep | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 09:07 AM
Bichara parmendra lai sajha le kya pachharyo! yasto achakali ta garna nahuni.....kasto... Jamana kharab bhele, babuwa! NK, enjoyed the poem. "Have you wondered why they are so obsessed with this prime minister post?" Power is like a new darling's smile. Keeps you afloat. |
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| smr | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 10:57 AM
Biruwa Resigns From the Sinking Nepal and Accepts Premiership October 14, Sajhapur (The Sinking Nepal): After the managing director MP’s stern warning for failing to file a report on SMR, there was a falling out between MP and Biruwa. Experts speculated that there was a late-night meeting between the Palace frequenting Bitchpatroll and the disgruntled Biruwa in a restautant in Thamel. The two then went to the palace for an audience, the palace insiders reveal. The rest is history, as they say: When the people woke up in the morning they found Biruwa as the new caretaker Prime Minister of Nepal with his friend Bitchpatroll as his Deputy. This could not have come at a worst time for the unemployed Bhagat to see his nemesis as the Deputy Prime Minister of Nepal. Observers have learnt that Bitchpatroll has sealed the border to prevent Bhagat from escaping the country. In this stunningly developing situation, all the donors are very nervous about the new unknown quantities –Biruwa and Bitchpatroill, but they have pledged to help Nepal overcome her difficulties. The new Prime Minister Biruwa has already formed the cabinet but the details are still sketchy. It is rumored that he has assembled all his cyber friends from Sajhapur at his residence in an effort to form a clean and lean cabinet. Insiders say that PM Biruwa wants their a-priori commitment not to run for any political offices. Some Shajabasis who were thinking about running for election from places like Gorkha are not very happy about this pre-condition. Obviously, they clearly see an advantage of a ministerial post during the election time. We will be filing reports as the news develops. |
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| WXW | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 11:16 AM
Paramendra Bhagat's dream fulfilled by King. BP (Mandal) is now real DPM. Paramendra who was sacked by King, is now happy with the new developments and appointment of his senior Madhesi leader as DPM in real Nepal. (SOL/WXW) |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 11:26 AM
"I am not ready yet!" says the TSN Director Sajhapur, The Sinking Nepal October 11, 2002 Though Biruwa won't be serving as the Premier, the TSN will still send representatives to serve on President Gyanendra's Government, the Sinking Nepal Spokesperson said Monday. Gyanendra had invited the TSN Director, along with senior commando Bitchpatroll, to serve as a PM until further notice . The Director declined the invitation Friday, saying that bringing politics to the body would do little to help solve the nation's economic problems. Still, "for the sake of the country," the director said he would participate - in the investigation of the former premier's vast assets. According to SMR, the director of TSN has chosen Bitchpatroll , a senior commando and a member of the party's Central Standing Committee, to fill the position instead. "People have lost faith in the government, mainly because of the struggle between political parties," Mr. Biruwa said. "They now expect cooperation ... to rebuild foreign investor and business confidence in the government." Though the TSN has also expressed skepticism over whether Bitchpatroll should participate in the Government, the senior commando has yet to turn down President Gyanendra's invitation. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 11:56 AM
A CALL TO ARMS!!! Friday Supplement THE SINKING NEPAL There has been a call to action by ex PM and Paschim of the West; in a joint effort to de-structure G's Cabinet. Paschim having heard of a foiled Mata Hari project proceeds to launch a counter attack against Ashu and G. The Wily Paschim seems to be using the tactics applied by the CIAA head honcho Ashu by re-calling all double agents and undercover journalists to a clandestine meeting place in S.Asia. The proposed area could be the "Golden" triangle or somewhere on the the Andaman Seas, in the peripheri of Jame's Bond Island of the "Man with the Golden Gun" fame. The Undercover Agents Called to Action are: Rusty Raccoon: A multilingual agent and a Super player in the D area. Known for his wit charm and sophisticated poetic personality. He is also known for watching with a rakishness endearing to females. CZAR: A multilingual agent with a great knowledge of music, Literature, opera......etc. czar also known as Don Quixote because of his tendencies to rescue damsels in distress is undoubtedly Mr. Charm personified himself. Dilasha: A vivacious, vibrant and sophisticated Phd. intern known for her penchant for helping those Westerners of the East. She is also known for her lain dain in gems; esp. rubies from Burma and Thailand. Junki : A very low profile yet, cunning character who lounges around Micky D's cracking down on Drug pushers and the cartel of S. Asia. NK: Beautiful journalist known for her wit, humor and tongue-in-cheek writing. She has a poetic soul and a charming personality laced with common sense! Sitara: A female firebrand, fiesty undercover journalist; also known to be a player in the D area (....having played alongside Rusty Raccoon in the recent BB match). Some suspect her of being a female 007 although she claims to be a Zennist; non violent! She has been touted as being of a questionable (?) age as noone has ever seen her except Ashu (in the Project Mata Hari). Only, Paschim of the East swears that she is older than him in an attempt to quelch some rumors liking him and Sitara. Reporting Live from Overseas. Sitara: A freelance journalist |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 12:11 PM
Kathmandu, Oct. 11 The Sinking Nepal VACANCY ANNOUNCEMENT: The following positions in the cabinet of Panch sri Lokendra Bahadur Chand have been filled, rest are open. The qualifications for the remaining positions will be posted later. Lokendra Bahandur Chand: Well known chaakadiwaj, can change his color every second. Portfolio: Rastriya Rajatantra Party, Ex-palace. Will deliver milk to the palace every morning Monday-Friday. Kunni k Mandal: Ex-PM Bhagat's idol. Portfolio: Janakpur, Dhanusha, Mahottari, Sarahi and Siraha coordinator. Upendra Devkota: Got an E- in politics but an A in medicine while he was in college. Portfolio: Heart [both lower and upper chambers], RBC, RBC, veins and artillaries. Anuradha Koirala: Appointed to lead a team to climb Mt Everest just because she was adept at climbing small hills of Rupandehi and Navalparasi. Portfolio: Maiti Nepal [kathmandu branch]. Remaining portfolios--both that have been taken and that have not--will be posted later. Please keep an eye on the notice board! MP Chief Editor |
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| Shree5GyanendraBBS | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 02:27 PM
Beloved Sajabashies, The greater good of Nepal and the Nepalese people is our only goal. History is witness to the fact that the Institution of Monarchy in Nepal has always been guided by the wishes and aspirations of the people. We have, time and again, expressed our commitment to doyaquasi and we would like to assure our countrymen that Doyaquasi ideals will always continue to guide us. It is known to all that in keeping with the tradition of the Jack Ass Shah dynasty to remain ever dedicated to the paramount welfare and progress of the Nepalese people, the democratic multiparty policy was reinstated in the Kingdom in 1990 in accordance with the wishes of the Shajabasi. It is also clear that during the 12 years since its reinstatement, a number of political exercises have been adopted for the consolidation of Doyaquasi. In this spirit, we had, at the recommendation of the Prime Minister, dissolved the House of Representatives on May 22 and set November 13 as the date for elections to the House of Representatives. The Prime Minister, who was entrusted with the task of conducting the general elections, had made a submission to us for the removal of difficulties under Article 127 of the Constitution of the Kingdom of Nepal, citing the current adverse situation prevailing in the country as the reason for not being able to hold the general elections on the stipulated date in accordance with Article 53 (4) of the Constitution. This led to a constitutional difficulty and void, creating a complicated situation in the country. As it is our responsibility to preserve nationalism, national unity and sovereignty, as well as, to maintain peace and order in the country and also to ensure that the state of the nation does not deteriorate for any reason, a situation has arisen wherein, by virtue of the State Authority as exercised by us and in the spirit of the Constitution of the Kingdom of Nepal-1990, as well as, taking into consideration of Article 27 (3) of the Constitution, Prime Minister Lokendra Bhadur Chand should be relieved of his office, owing to his incompetence to wear daurasurwal and We, therefore, issue the following orders in accordance with Article 127 of the Constitution of the Kingdom of Nepal-1990. Prime Minister LKC has been relieved of his office as of today, October 11, 2002, for his incompetence in not being able to wear daura Surwal during sworn in because of Hydrocile and Mandal being Chandal coming to royal palace on Dhoti without wearing any chaddi. As it will take some time to make new arrangements, we will exercise the executive powers of the Kingdom of Nepal & Sajahight until such arrangements are in place and we ourselves once again undertake the responsibility of governance in the country. We are confident that all the Sajabashis and will extend cooperation in constituting a new Council of Ministers by sending recommendations, within the next five hours, of persons who have clean images and who will not be participating in the forthcoming general elections. There is no need for Sinking Nepal journalists, freelancers or the other personals like Paramender,Dharamender,Tiwari,Bhuhari,Purba,Paschim,Biruwa,Haruwa,Sitara,Khatara,MP,BP to deviate from their responsibilities and duties. We are confident that everyone will fulfill their duties from their respective places and that, with the best wishes of the Sajabashi, all will be well. May Lord Pashupatinath bless us all! Jaya Nepal! |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 03:38 PM
Private e-mail to Ashu: Ashu, keep up the good work. Wagel, Gupta. And now Khadka. I am impressed. Keep me and the public posted. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 04:01 PM
""If this was so easy, why on hell did my party kill so many people?" He has been recorded to have said." LOL ****************************************************************** "It ain't over until it is over." -Paramendra Bhagat The Drudge Report, South Asia Edition October 11 The recently ousted Prime Minister of Nepal, Paramendra Bhagat, talked to Matt Drudge over an instant messager from an undisclosed location in Nepal. Drudge: Are you okay? What happened? Bhagat: I underestimated the resistance among the Kathmandu elite for a Madhesi prime minister. Drudge: Bhagat: Drudge: Bhagat: Drudge: Will anything console you? Bhagat: If the next Prime Minister is a woman, I will take great satisfaction. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 04:28 PM
""If this was so easy, why on hell did my party kill so many people?" He has been recorded to have said." LOL ****************************************************************** "It ain't over until it is over." -Paramendra Bhagat The Drudge Report, South Asia Edition October 11 The recently ousted Prime Minister of Nepal, Paramendra Bhagat, talked to Matt Drudge over an instant messager from an undisclosed location in Nepal. Drudge: Are you okay? What happened? Bhagat: I underestimated the resistance among the Kathmandu elite for a Madhesi prime minister. I underestimated Gyane's greed for absolute power. Wo to mera Siraha ka classmate Gyane is Gyane se sau guna achha. Drudge: What's your next move? Bhagat: I feel like I have been embarassed in Babuaram Bhatatatarai's presence. My happiness at the inauguration of the republic has been proven naive. Why did none of my advisors warn me? My next move? Consultations are on. Drudge: What hurts? Bhagat: Oh, those online rumors, all those false stories and assumptions about me that are circulating more now after I am no longer in office. Drudge: What has been the most dramatic development since you were ousted? Bhagat: Tiger Deuba went back to Mahakali. Drudge: What was that thing about Allposters.com? Bhagat: That was/is a side business. I am a free marketeer after all. Global operations. Roji roti ka sawal hai. Private enterprise hai, koi corruption to nahin. Drudge:What do you think of Chand? Bhagat:Kaun? Chanda kaun? Wo to Pachim ka department hai bhai, usi se puchho. Mid-flight mein hi wo Pachim wapas purab chala gaya. "To spend more time in the air with the flight attendants." Drudge:Age kya karenge? Bhagat:Part-time journalism karenge. Rajniti bhi kya cheez hai yaar. Drudge:What do you see in future? Bhagat:The future is dark for democracy, for stability, for madhesis. But Janata Dal will fight for the rights of all and sundry. We will rise from the ashes. Drudge: Why are the words on my screen from you shaking? Bhagat:Because I myself am shaking. Drudge: Any parting words? Bhagat: On a private note, I feel for Biswo who I succeeded. Biswo, I feel your pain. Drudge: Will anything console you? Bhagat: If the next Prime Minister down the line is a woman, I will take great satisfaction. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 04:46 PM
Typo. Hold Press. Is -- Bhagat: If the next Prime Minister down the line is a woman, I will take great satisfaction. Should Be -- Bhagat: If the next Prime Minister down the line is a woman, I will take great satisfaction. Paschim will take a much greater satisfaction. But then, that is a no-brainer. |
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| WXW | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 06:50 PM
Bhagat ji, when are you planning to go back to Nepal. Its a good time for you to be a candidate and head for singha durbar. BP will offer you a ticket to MP. It will not be suprising to Sajhapurians to find you inside the real lowerhouse. |
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| Dilasha | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 07:12 PM
Paschim wrote: "Dilasha, Head of the Intern Bureau in my Office, could you kindly assign one of those PhD nymphs working under you for a date with me aaundo sukrabaar at Jaya Nepal Chitra Ghar? I heard they are playing "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge"..pura Digital dhamaka ka saath...or would dating my own staff be a gross "conflict of interest"?" Paschim, who do you think I am? Betty Curry? :) I have no intention of being interrogated or summoned for testimony by a Ken Starr like she had to while in office. Besides it IS going to have a "negative image" especially in the media which will affect your future campaigns. Can't you sense that The Sinking Nepal is already on its way to distort your reputation brain washing the public minds? (After thinking for a while).... Okay I am willing to hook you up with one of the interns only if you have a choclate labrador like "Buddy" and are willing to give it to me once you leave the office. How about that? :) Well, that will take a while so I will consider your situation and see if I can convince one of the interns. (The next day) Paschim, I talked to both my interns Pyakuli Kumari Luintel "jhimki" (winks every five seconds), a divorced mother of a nine year old as well as Laali Jhumri Chapagain "syausi" (wears micro minis even in the zero degree weather which is against the norm of the office) a twenty two year old "abhibahit" thiti. They are both excited at the prospect of being your dates but they both have problems. Pyakuli "jhimki" said: "Oh!, I would loooooovvve to go out on a date with Paschim ji but I don't have a babysitter therefore I will have to take my "harkey kaainla"(her son) with us. I don't know if he will agree on this. Besides I have a habit of falling asleep in the theaters so I would rather prefer a nice cosy dinner at "Bhancha Ghar" and then "Nirulas" for dessert coz my harkey looooves icecreams" Laali "syausi" said: "You know Dilasha, I've seen Paschim ji quite a few times when he visited you here at the office and although we haven't spoken much besides the hi hello thingy, I feel that he is a very nice man, down to earth, kinda like "my type" but!! the other day he came and asked me if you were in a meeting and I could literally smell the "gross" khainee in his breadth! He needs to carry "tic-tacs" in his pocket. And his teeth are so yellow and brown that they look like they haven't been brushed for months!! And he doesn't know how to wear his tie, did you see how crooked it was the other day? You know how meticulous my observations are and how picky I am when it comes to all that. So, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to go out with him. Besides I hate Shahrukh Khan! So these are the responses I received from my hardworking interns Paschim. I am so sorry but looks like it won't work out from my department. :( But hey, I'll see if my maili bhauju's kaaki's brother's sainli daughter is available. So give me a few days okay! And also, I will be fed-ex ing you 12 packs of Dabur ko Laal Duntamanjan very soon! :) And Biruwa ji, how much do I owe you for that coverage about the inauguration? Let me know and i'll send you a hefty check along with the bonus. Could you also write an article about my plans to send my line managers to this training and development seminar in Bhopal India where they will learn how to handle their subbordinates and improve interpersonal communication, that'd be great!! |
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| Dilasha | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 07:24 PM
OKAY TIME TO SOLVE THE RIDDLE!!! 1.Why does 007 has an ‘s’ missing from his first name? Ans: Because it has shifted to his last name. 2.Why could Bitchpatroll not run further? Ans: Because he ran out of “pyatrol” 3.How does Miss Putalimaiya address Ashu in front of her in-laws? (assuming they got married) Ans: Ooohiiiiiii!! 4.What is the nickname of Biswo? Ans: Sansaar 5.What is the favorite hobby/sport of Arnico? Ans: Juggling ;-) 6.What is the favorite song of Sitara? Ans: Twinkle twinkle little star 7.Why did Paramendra finally “resign”? Ans: Because he finally gathered the money he needed to open a gas station in Texas. 8.Why did Biruwa get selected for the Employment Position at Biruwa Ropan Kendra? Ans: Because he was the “only one” who applied for it. 9.What does CIAA really stand for? Ans: Chief Investigator Awaara Ashutosh 10.What was Paramendra really staring at while taking oath of PM? Ans: Gyanendra’s “double/triple” chin 11.And what did he say to himself after that? Ans: “Gosh! I hope mine doesn’t turn out like that after a couple of years” 12. What song will Paschim purposely avoid singing if he goes out on a date with Pyakuli Kumari Luintel "jhimki"? Ans: Jhimkai deu pareli mun ma bajcha mitho muraliiiii.... ;-) 12.What is Biswo’s fav lyrics? Ans: Biswo ko kuna kapcha ma hera, usko mutu kholera hera, tyahan singo timi nai hunchau.... 13.How “deep” is Deep’s story? Ans: Can’t measure with a ruler 14.What is Sitara’s fav word? Ans: Zen 15.What is the suspension bridge from Paramendra’s mind to Your mind called? Ans: (Can’t you figure it out???) Links!!! :) 16.What’s Bitchpatroll’s fav commercial slogan of Amoco Gas Station? Ans: Bitch While You Turn The Switch (of the pyatrol pump of course) 17.What is M.P’s real name and where does he hail from? Ans: Muninder Pyakurel from the Middle Plains of Madhya Pradesh 18. (i) How does Junkie introduce himself to girls? Ans: Yo! I’m Junk the punk the cool hunk from the band Q funk, baby, wanna sit in the front or back in the trunk? (ii) What does Junkie sing when he is in the midst of more than five people? Ans: I'm bhoodey junkie yes i'm the bhoodey junkie please stand up please stand up!! 19. And what is junkie currently doing? Ans: Interning at the P. Diddy Emininem Rap Inc. as a “rap specialist” 19.Last but not least, what did Dr. Upendra Devkota say to Baburam Bhattarai? Ans: Wait till you come for the triple bypass surgery!!! (assuming he's the "only" heart surgeon in the world) Note: Friends, all in jest it was a quest to fill your hearts with joy and laughter coz 'diamonds' don't come for free but humor? it's priceless! |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 07:57 PM
Dilasha, jawaaf chhaina, kebal muskaan matrai :) |
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| iXY | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 08:44 PM
Nepeji is underground and MPji is on surface. Whats the matter? "The Sinking Nepal" should find Nepe ji and report on his physical and mental conditions. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 08:47 PM
TSN Top Ten Oraali Laageko List!! Kathmandu, Oct 11 The Sinking Nepal The Sinking Nepal has published its "Top Ten Oraali Laageko List" for the month of Kartik. The results are as follows. 10: Jame Bonds: Sent threats to the then Prime Minister Bhagat but failed to get hold of him. He lambashed Bhagat like hell and also received a warning letter from the administration of the Sinking Nepal. Having failed to do anything to Bhagat, Jame is now spending a secluded life in Nagarkot. 9: Orion: Supposedly a prominently journalist, he was fired from the Sinking Nepal publication on charges of "dissipating false rumors" against the then Prime Minister Paramendra Kumar Bhagat. Although the Supreme Court dismissed charges placed on him, he has been disappearing for almost 24 hours now! 8: Junkie: He could not even get the delivery position at the Sinking Nepal publication. His essay was graded 2/10. Rumors have it that he was fired from "Mike Donald" after the manager saw his true credentials. 7: Dilasha: She proved herself "inept"! She could neither hold an elections among all those saahili, maahilies nor could she nominate one and send her to desperate Paschim. 6: SMR: This person was sent to the mental hospital twice by the Sinking Nepal publication. He was initially fired and then hired again. Had our chief editor, MP, and the Director of Propaganda and Recruitment, Biruwa, not been dayaalu enough, this person would have fallen further. Right now, he works as a junior reporter for the Sinking Nepal. 5: Paschim : This person could not improve his vocabulary much this month. He often reiterated the same words: "Holy Cow!" Charged with one scandle after another, this person is finding hard to get up from where he is now. He is in search of a battis-lakchhen-le-yukta-bhayeki sundari but has found none so far. He now regrets over calling Sitara a "didi". "Kasto dimaag khuskyaa yaar mero teti belaa," he said to MP, the chief editor, this afternoon. He also lost his Kalakatte Kaiyo while going for shopping with kunni k kunni k Jong of Vietnam. 4: Sher Bahadur Deuba: After Gyanendra Kumar Shar declared him "inept" , this charismatic person with a broken tongue did a head landing in Darchula. He has started a small chiya pasal near Deurali bazaar. "Oraali laageko harin ko chhal bho.....", he sings every morning as his prayer. 3: Ashutosh Tiwari: This person, after being nominated to the post of CIAA chief, failed to see the bottom of the ocean from the pinnacle; used his office hours looking for "cute, humorous lady with great journalistic skills". Now, he drives a safa tempo from Sundhara to Naya Baneshwor; gives free ride to girls aged between 18 and 30. 2: Gyanendra Kumar Shah: He proved how faithful he was to the concept of "Nepali time" by taking seven days to form a cabinet. His fame fluctuated most of the time; reached to the bottom when he went to Gorkha to take blessings. Unconfirmed reports have stated that his real intent was to campaign against Paschim. 1: Paramendra Kumar Bhagat: This month was the most catastrophic for this man.Despite becoming the first Madhise Prime Minister, he was accused of conspiring against Paschim, using Sajha as a source of income [using banners], forming a jumbo cabinet and making too many public apperances. This person fell down all the way from Narayanhity to Janakpur dham. MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal. |
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| iXY | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 08:54 PM
Dilashaji le Oohi Ashuji lai kin tyasari khedeko hola. bhut ma kehi kharabi bhe jasto chha ni Dilasha ra Oohi Ashu ko bichhama. Ooohi Ashu lai Awara re. Sima huncha saram huncha, sab nagera kina yasto chitta dukhe gari attack? CIAA head le feri power Abuse bhanera jakidela jail ma, sake timlai natra timranatedar holan ni kohi na kohi sarkari jagir khaneharu. |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 09:28 PM
Kudos to Dilasha Devi ;) ! YOU STOLE THE EVENING SHOW!!! :) Also thank you for the offer of hefty check n' bonus. I am busy at the moment with the investigation on our ex-PM Bhagat. Will write the report for you soon. Biruwa, the Plant |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 09:32 PM
All in Jest and Fun! :) |
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| diwas k | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 10:05 PM
Paschim jyu, Sitara bata aba yaha ko jhukav Dilasha tira dhalkeko jasto chha ni.. kya ho.. LLCC... Yas pali ta bachnu hola hai.. natra tihar ma aaipuglin ni Dilasha pani.. Paschim dai ko puja garna.. Sitara le ta raakhi nai baadhi diyin... Agrim badhayi.... > Paschim wrote: Dilasha, jawaaf chhaina, kebal muskaan matrai :) _diwas |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 10:16 PM
CIAA defers filing of charge sheet in Bhagat case Kathmandu, Oct 11 The Sinking Nepal Sajhapur: The filing of charge sheet in the maruti asset accumulation scandal involving the former Sajhapur premier, Bhagat has been deferred apparently due to the alleged delay in clearance by the CIAA honcho oohi ashu. When this reporter went to meet him at his residence, the ashu villa was bustling with people dancing to the latest hindi song : "Ooowa oowa oooooh Rup Salona tera dekh ke, hai Dil mera na rajje..." of film Jaani Dushman. Ashu, was entangled in a dance posture with some beautiful damsel and looked disturbed on seeing our camera man Junki bro (Yes, he was hired by the TSN after passing the Howard Law and Photography School Test ). The CIAA chief also immediately confiscated the camera and reel. According to sources in the Chief Investigator Awaara Ashutosh (CIAA), required formalities are complete in connection with the filing of the charge sheet in the Regular Case 47(a) but it has not been filed so far as the sanction required from the BIG BOSS is awaited. The case which had rocked Sajhapur and even forced the former premier to be ousted had it's hub in the threads in a website called sajha.com run by the government of Sajhapur . Biruwa, the plant Reporting from Ashu Villa Kathmandu |
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| batauli | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 10:55 PM
Araay Paraminderawa, Aap apne saajha daat kaam waale litar me bahut "aaaal aind sundari" likhat hai. Kya, sundari ko is duniya se bachake rakhna chahat hai kya...? Aaashu bitawa sundari ke pichhe, Paschiew bitawa sundari ke pichhe.. ab aap bhi. Kuchh samajh me nahi aa rahaa hai... ::Parminder likhat hai ".. all and sundry..." Aap ka namak khaya huwa - batauli |
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| Nepe | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 11:09 PM
iXY ji, Thank you for inquiring about my condition. This is just to let you and friends know that I am fine. Regarding my physical condition, well, I am in the middle of some pressing commitment, but I do log on Sajha at least one time a day ( Sajha has become my ammal). Regarding my mental condition, I am in a total confusion. Except for a few like Sitara, Dilasha, M.P., Orion and some others, I am completely to partially disappointed by others’s reaction to the political developments in our country at this very interesting time of our history. To me, it looks like they are missing the big picture while being busy looking at some minor details. I am consoling myself by saying that it is just natural to happen things like this at a time like this. I am talking about some of my dear friends in Sajha whom I had believed (I still believe) that they have sharper instinct for the truth than myself. I am not talking about some frogs who appear to have appreared in Sajha to try to obscure the truth. Let me see if they react to chor ko khutta kaat. I know my last sentence is politically incorrect. But my heart says its not time to care about that. I decided to listen to my heart. Sorry if I offended those not deserving it. More when I recover. |
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| Junkie | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 11:36 PM
Dilasha ..... kasto mitho ashaa ("“rap specialist” .... and me :-) now time to deliver phunk rhap ....... bekkar M.P. ko chakadi gareko ....... majja aayo ...... no neer-asha frm dear Dilasha ...... Same 'ol bhudey .... laughed, stuffed and "smoked" out barrel ........... |
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| Dilasha | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 11:39 PM
Diwas ji, you really wish it was true, don’t you? Or is it the other way round?:) Here’s a new mantri position for ya- Minister of SPECULATION! And if your speculations (any kind) are correct then I will lobby Chief Investigator Awara Ashu to promote you to the Deputy CIAA officer if not then you’ll be demoted to the Janitorial position at Sundarijal Jail. Here’s another riddle: What did Diwas tell Paschim when they bumped into each other at Ason ko sabji mandi? Ans: Khai, eso kanchi bahini ko haat sumpidiunla tapaiko haat ma bhanne sochya thiyen, tara tapain ko mun bhane arkai le lagisake jasto cha! What did Paschim reply to Diwas? Ans: Akaash ko phal aankha tari mar!! :) |
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| diwas k | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 11:49 PM
Dilasha, like Paschim said : ".. jawaaf chhaina, kebal muskaan matrai :) ... " _diwas |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 11-Oct-02 11:57 PM
hehe! Good one dilasha... :) you are my kinda gal!! :) |
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| kalanidhi | Posted
on 12-Oct-02 12:32 AM
Gays/Gals......... I am glad King is taking the power slowly and slowly. I just want to say to you gays/ gals that: Don’t stay behind the wall and bark. If you are true nationalist/patriots, just go to Nepalese village and educate the people who doesn’t know how to practice the democracy. Nothing is going to change in Nepal by barking within sajha territory. LC Chand is Mr. Clean with no black smudge throughout his career. We must be optimist about the new formed government. We should be wishing for their success in this context of Nepal, rather than disparaging them behind the veil. Why do you always have to be morose and pessimist about whoever comes to form the government. Tell me who will best fit to preside over Nepal? Give me a single name. Mr X, Ms Y, Mr Z……….. ? Whoever comes to form the government, your off-putting comments are already ready!!! Haina ta???? I know that you have good knowledge of reading books. Some of you might be graduated from Harvard; some of you might be from Stanford; some of you from other big institutions….but don’t try to apply your principles of books to the current situation of Nepal. Sometimes, you have to hop out of your values and principles and become practical. Theories and principles do not seem to be working in the developing country like Nepal. Nepal right now is in-deed in need of authoritarianism/despotism. That can only be possible by the overpower of the King G in this context. You live in the manson of glasses, so don’t try to throw the rock to others. Know how to be united and perform your patriotism. Since most of you live in the US, you know how American people got united against the terrorist act on 9/11 devastation. So, we need to realize the lack of patriotism on us. I think we should give the positive feedback to the new government. UNITED WE STAND AGAINST MAOIST :) KALANIDHI UCLA, US |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 12-Oct-02 03:24 AM
Letter to Raajbhakta Kalanidhi from M.P. Dear Kalanidhi, American President George W. Bush once said, "I have very strong opinions of mine. But I donot always agree with them." I see the same kind of problem in you: please say what you actually feel about. I see a clear separation of action from rhetoric in your case: you say you are delighted to see the King taking power thus implying you support dictatorship [please do not reveal your ignorance here by saying that the King is taking power but not becoming a dictator!] and you summon us as "gays"? How many countries with moderate to extreme form of dictators allow gay-ism? I see, so you are banning BBC [like your masters did just before the advent of semi-democracy in 2046] and allowing gay-ism! If you are trying to impress your boss, please, for heaven's sake realize that this is not the right place. Write a letter to your god residing in the holy land of Narayanhity! Send him a Dashain greeting card! There are various ways you could reach him; chakadibaajs hardly fell. Post your god's picture and on the wall and hug him everyday, everytime..whenever. Definitely, Mr Chand is clean and to borrow your master's word, he is "untainted". Which Pancha is tainted from the perspective of your boss anyway? A person who put price on some of the NC leaders during Panchayat became the prime minister after 2046 [don't ask me who? Your boss knows them? You do not need to know. You eat what your master gives without objection. You have no right to oppose. If you are about to object right at this point--remember the ideology you are supporting! It states explictly: "No right to Oppose!"] and you supported them as "untainted"! By the way, what's up with your "recent untainted leaders" Gupta, Wagle and Khadka? Now, I am going to analysis your posting in detail: You say: We must be optimist about the new formed government ---Ok Baba, hunchha. Tara, where do we mark the demarcation between being optimistic and pessimistic. How many governments did we experience in 12 years? Tyo sappai le kehi naapna sakena; are the members of this cabinet from Mars to bring an upheavel? For your information, your employer "with no black smudge" has already been the PM once after 2046? K Naapyo? Just because this team was nominated by the King, will they all perform miracle? Do you still believe that Gyanendra is the 11th Avataar of Bishnu ? You say: Don’t stay behind the wall and bark ---First of all, we are all people. We donot "bark". We talk. Sometimes ago, there was a cartoon in New Yorker with two dogs talking to each other saying ,"in the internet they do not know if we are dogs." Do you happen to be one of those by anychance? I am really getting curious since you used the word "bark" to refer to our action. ---Second, internet is no longer confidential these days. Tell you master to send an aadesh to San if you are so interested in knowing who we are. You say: just go to Nepalese village and educate the people who doesn’t know how to practice the democracy. ---Can we have a look at your credentials, saap? How many NGOs you have run, how many villages you have taught? Yet another case of separation of practice from words. If you have done something, state it directly. We will applaud your deed and may be follow you. If not, why do you tell others to do what you yourself have not done? "Ta mar malaai majaa aauchha" bhanyaa jasto kuraa garchha baa!! You say: Tell me who will best fit to preside over Nepal? ---So my dream is finally coming true? Gyanendra is finally thinking of declaring a republic? He can "preside" for the time being. Let us chose the Prime Minister, and our representatives; that's all we want. Gyanendra can choose himself to become the President. You can still work as the President's spokesperson for another year or two. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 12-Oct-02 03:25 AM
You say: Whoever comes to form the government, your off-putting comments are already ready!!! Haina ta???? ---Yeah, especially if a non-elected leaders tries to claim legitimacy barely because his ancestors "unified" the small kingdoms centuries ago. In other words, we are pissed off if some out-of-context individual "comes" and forms the government for us! You say: I know that you have good knowledge of reading books. ---Certainly. I still remember the whole sentence written on the first page of every school level course book in Nepal: "Raastriya Pratibhaa laai falaaune fulaaune tathaa janaakomano bhaawanaa laai bikaashmulak banaaune uddeshya liyi laagu gariyeko yes raastriya sikchha paddati baata kehi barsa bhitra jaagarup, laganshil bektiwo ko srijanaa hunechha bhanne haami le aashaa liyekaa chhou/ -Sri 5 Birendra". Please change that to " Raatriye Pratibhaa laai falaaune, fulaaune, jhulaaune, tatha tarsaaune uddesya liyi laagu gariyeko yo sikchhyaa paddati baata kehi barsa bhitrai kehi raajbhakta, dahichiure, darpokh ra conservative naagarik ko srijana huna sakne chha bhani haami le srap diyekaa chhau!" Thanks a bunch! You say: Nepal right now is in-deed in need of authoritarianism/despotism ---How did you decide what Nepal needs? Can we see the determinants? What evidence do you have to make this assertion? ---I seriously think we are in deep shit now! Top ranking foreign officials and a few elites from Kathmandu--both of whom have never been to Nepal except for a three week mission for years--at the World Bank, decide what needs to be done with a samudayik ban in Arghakhanchi; a business man, who revealed his real face once by forming "Rastra bachaau Abhiyaan" and was an advocate of aristrocracy until Birendra died, is deciding whether we should have democracy or despotism. It is not a question of what you give, Mr spokesperson, it is a matter of what we deserve! While we thank King Gyanendra and his precedors for his 12 generation "service" to the nation, we now want to decide for ourselves. Our humble request: please leave us alone!! You say: Know how to be united and perform your patriotism. ---Thank you for your lesson, sir. But I am not clear on the second part of the statement. Does being patriot mean studying a chapter in Pritvi Narayan Shah in at least one course in each class all the way from the 2nd grade to SLC? And mugging up all the good things the kings have done us? For us, being patriot means being concerned about the country; discussing the current issues, keeping ourselves updated and taking stance when need arises. Besides that, I thank you for adding one more posting to this Sinking Nepal thread. Regards, M.P. Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal. |
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| Paschim | Posted
on 12-Oct-02 05:20 AM
Diwas-ji, sabai aafnai Nepali cheli haru hoon yaar; bhitri kuro lai "niji mamila" bhandiun...baanki kura khattam, kaso? :) Sitara/Dilasha, great pieces of humor there! And of course MP continues to rock. This thread is overwhelming! |
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| iXY | Posted
on 12-Oct-02 06:31 PM
Nepe Mitra, tyastari rishaunu bhayen ni ta. rish le afu khancha bhanya hoina. rishaye pachi ta tapaiko points le negative lincha ni ta. tara kahile kahile rishaunu pani parcha, within consitutional limit. yaha ta hami sab unconstitutional huna thalyou ra po ta. CIAA head Oohi Ashu can tell whether the rish/anger was within legal limit, wow, paschim ji will come and say only court has the right to interpret consititution. I am lost here, who is the chief judge in Sajhapur's supreme court. Isolated freak seems to know law to some extent but he is very much biased unfit for the post. King San should tell who is the supreme court judge in Sajhapur. He should make no mistake. |
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| isolated freak | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 02:38 AM
hasayo ixy bro judges haroo jata pani bias nai hunchasn ni bro.. unbias ta kahi koi hudnaina, hoina ra? k ho, chief justice ko post ko application diu jasto lagyo malai ta, tara rajnitik mudda dherai aaune jasto cha..yeslai sajaya diyo, tyo rishaune, tyallai diyo yo rishaune.. but, MPs pieces are great. whoever you are, i love reading your postings, not that i agree with what you have to say, but the way you present your views. khoob ramro cha, daami cha bro! la happy subha vijaya dashami ko happy greetings straight from my heart to everyone |
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| isolated freak | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 02:40 AM
hyatterika, MP sis huna parne, bro bhayo. bholi ko the shinking nepal ko editition ma "bhhol sudhar" lekhidinu hola "mudra raxyas le garda hijo MP sis hunu parne thau ma ukta samachar lai sachyayera padhna huna agraha garincha bhandai" |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 07:26 AM
The Barking Syndrome Strikes Again! Sunday Supplement The Sinking Nepal "STOP BARKING!" said a very sick victim of "The Barking syndrome". Kalanidhi, who was a student of UCLA, was found to be truck by the fatal disease of "Barking Syndrome". The dangerous disease shows symptoms of Rabies, another dog related disease. Kalanidhi's aural canals that link to the brains have a tendency to hear barking where ever he goes. The NIH explains that the visual script gets translated into aural sonar sounds which consequently gets translated into sounds of barking by the affected neurons in Kalanidhi's brains. One similiarity with rabies (hydro-phobia) is that Kalanidhi will have the tendency to run around the gully's of the threads like a rabid dog saying in a pitiful manner "STOP, Barking! Stop Barking"!!!! Originally, this disease was transmitted through a computer virus from Nepal. In this case, the menenges of the brains get destroyed and proper translations of critical thought get paralyzed. In this this case, the The virus had not only struck the CPU of the computer but also the memory cache of Kalanidhi's brains! The recent upheavel in Nepal has sufficed to spread this rabidlike virus. Especially, visually shocking pictures of Paras strutting around like he owned the throne, has affected and deranged many a sound mind. It has been suggested that an anti-venomous form of the virus may turn his visions toward Nepal instead of Cyberia. Such affected brains can be manipulated into a lethal weapon akin to a suicide bomber. Nepe (who is supected of having ties with INTERPOL) has seen potentials in Kalanidhi. Apparently, some of INTERPOL's agents were trained by the AL Kaida in the mountains of Afghanistan. Nepe, an extremely shrewd and educated intellectual believes that manpower should not go to waste. He has been observing the victim of "the barking disease" and hopes to train Kalanidhi and set him loose in the palaces of Nepal. Warning: Kalanidhi may have the tendencies of Kala niti.... a dangerous form of political misinterpretations. Isolated Freak, another very brilliant young brain affected by "kala niti" now is seen beyond repair in because he has been cited as having drunk from the dangerous waters of DHARA 127 and 128. HISTORICAL Note: The water sources of DHARA 127 and 128 have their mool source in the ancient water system of the Panchayat System. Due to the Centralization of hydropower only in certain peripheris of KTM, the The Panchayat system had been put out of use. However, the two DHARA Souces 127 and 128 were temporaily disabled by stop corks, operational only under emergency. The emerging lack of water in the country of nepal has forced G's hand in resorting to unconstitutional methods of supplying water power in KTM. The agent deployed for this dangerous job was a brilliant mind named Isolated Freak. Isolated Freak, who having been exposed to the lethal radiation of Dhara 127 and 128, now runs around spouting trickles of the dhara at every chance he get. Both the Dharas 127 and 128 are known to be contaminated by the EBOLA virus, a deadly virus with the same DNA make of the AIDS virus; a simple protein without cure! Reporting live from the Sippery waters of Mt. Narayan heeti SITARA: A freelance journalist |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 07:41 AM
Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal Bhool Sudhar: Due to inexplicable circumstances, the Grammar and Spellcheck editor of The Sinking Nepal has been unable to edit certain portions of the Sunday Supplement. We are very sorry for this inconvenience. |
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| iXY | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 07:45 AM
Mr. iFreak timile pani ta hasayou ni. Judges should be biased to law and consititution only but not to any parties. Thresold rule of justice. when law has contradiction of 50/50 then personal judgement based on previous experiences beyond law or constitution makes it 51 /49 to make a clear verdict. tara timi khule yaam judge haru biased hunchan bhanchou ba. ghusyaha judge matra tyasta hunchan, ni. real judge have no personal interference, they are just interpreting the law book or consitution ko dhara or updhara. yaar, you r contemplating the court and the judges. dhat. iXY Coordinator |
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| isolated freak | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 08:10 AM
sitara, a brilliant piece indeed, don't worry about bhool sudhar. ixy, nepali judges have a tendecy to be biased, otherwisxe, they would have approved of the move of the them primeminister manmohan adhikari to dissolve the house. when, manmohan tried to dissolve the house, it was tremed unconstitutional by the some of the same judges who approved of deuba's dissolution of the house!!!! so, the judiciary in nepal is not free of biases.. aaba ma kasari unbiased hune ? malai ni paisa kamayera pajero motor chadera ghumna maan lagcha ni, afterall, i too am a human being yaar.. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 11:38 AM
Isolated Freak ji, Thank you! My career as a "typo-challenged" journalist started with 007's attempt at Paru's life( refer above) and Ashu's "Mata Hari Project"( refer above) to launch Paschim into a victorian era of chastity belts.... :) |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 01:27 PM
7.Why did Paramendra finally “resign”? Ans: Because he finally gathered the money he needed to open a gas station in Texas. I did NOT resign. I was ousted by King Gyanendra in what I would describe as a coup, but many describe as a political reshuffle. "Dheeraj karo. Badri Mandal to hai," they say. 15.What is the suspension bridge from Paramendra’s mind to Your mind called? Ans: (Can’t you figure it out???) Links!!! :) LOL He often reiterated the same words: "Holy Cow!" ..... making too many public apperances. LOL The filing of charge sheet in the maruti asset accumulation scandal... Baseless. Utterly baseless. Wo Maruti to dahej mein mila tha. Prime Minister ke talab se to chiya-paan ka kharcha nikalta that. Bus. Regarding my mental condition, I am in a total confusion. Hehe! Good one dilasha... :) you are my kinda gal!! :) American President George W. Bush once said, "I have very strong opinions of mine. But I donot always agree with them." lol |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 01:32 PM
Some e-mails received over the past few days: "Khuching!" -Prince Paras "Badhai hai bhai. Sunne mein aya aap PM ban gaye." -Chandrashekhar (PKB's note: Som le akhbar basee padhchha jasto chha.) "Happy to be back." -Tiger Deuba from Mahakali "Shashastra andolan ki tayari karein kya?" -Ram Raja Prasad Singh "Chhoti muh badi baat." -King G "Nationalism ko kura thiyo." -MaKuNe |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 02:00 PM
Situation: Volatile The Hallai Halla Ko Desh Digest October 13 The recent fax from the Badal-Prachanda-Babuaram trio condemns the newly formed government. "I regret my decision to inaugurate the toilet in western Nepal," Babuaram was quoted as saying to one of his comrades. Thapa has offered "personal" support to Chand but has opposed the political move by King G to appoint Chand to the top job. Similarly Tripathy has acted "surprised" by Badri Mandal's appointment as Deputy Prime Minister. "He never told us," he reportedly stared at the reporters. Former strongman Khum Khadka Chhamakchhalo was seen profusely sweating as he left the CIAA offices after a few hours of grilling. "Fenta pilao, fenta pilao," he told one of his aides as he waved at a passing bikram tempo so he could hitch a ride. Deuba appeared less shaky yesterday, but as confused as when he got deposed, or, for that matter, when he was Prime Minister. Prince Paras was reported to have learned how to smile "sardonically." In other new developments, Chand shifted gears, and started speaking in fluent Baitadeli. "Baata ma gaand padanchha," he said and then smiled in a "clean" way while his son Binod Chand translated the statement for the waiting BBC reporter Rabindra Mishra of the Pratyoush-Onta-Haroo-Le-Rajniti-Kina-Garne fame. |
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| Desh_Bhakta_Bhattarai | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:29 PM
Paramendra Bhagat Appointed Prime Minister  Mr.Paramendra Kumar Bhagat being sworn in as the new Prime Minister of Nepal. Photo: Desh Bhakta Bhattarai, A.P./ The Siniking Nepal ______________________________________ ~PE@CE ~DBB (Discalimer: Don't Mind Hai, Paramendra Jee!) |
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| Desh_Bhakta_Bhattarai | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:30 PM
http://www.geocities.com/desh_bhakta_bhattarai/pm_bhagat1.jpg |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:30 PM
Photo can't be seen. |
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| Nepe | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:31 PM
Sitara, Although I was surprised to be inappropriately characterized as an *extremely shrewd and educated intellectual*, I thank you for your true report on my connection to the INTERPOL and my interest in the case study of the Kalanidhi Barking syndrome being studied at NIH. NIH scientists are primarily interested in neurology as you already reported and in immunology for developing a vaccine. But I am not ruling out the possibility of a covert project to fight the attackers with their own weapon. Anyway, the NIH reports that the genome of the virus causing the KB syndrome is almost completely sequenced and now DNA fingerprints can be used to detect the virus and its modified strains some of which give subtle symptoms. The later is found in one or two of new posters in Sajha. I gathered this information from INTERPOL. I also want to share with you a rather interesting finding (not conclusive though) obtained from fingerprint profiling of our interesting poster, Isolated Freak. They say his fingerprints matched (not 100% though) with that of Bharat Shandilya, an occasional columnist in Kathmadu media who threatens journalists and spreads the state disinformations (He is reported to be an army officer working in the Jungi Adda, Kalyankari Shakha, name Rajendra ?). You might wanna ponder over why Ifji spread selective promotion of turbid dhara 127 and 128 but not the clean dhara 3 and 35(2) in approximately 100 of his postings in the first two days of the royal take over backed by the royal army. I am extremely busy at the moment helping to complete the KBS genome project, so I might not be able to frequent Sajha as much as I want. But I will certainly keep reading TSN. On a side note, I have a nagging feeling whether Biruwaji, you colleague reporter, is sympathetic to the original royal move. And what about SMR ? Probably it does not matter as long as they keep independent reporting. I hope I did not offend them. Apart from this feeling I enjoy reading their postings. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:31 PM
LOL Photo editing software brought to Sajha use! |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:36 PM
Some quick observations: (1) King G looks not all too happy. (2) Why? Because PKB is looking away? Is that look-away-look why PKB got ousted? (3) PKB's medals ------- a possible topic for CIAA investigation? I have no memory of ever having earned any of those medal-looking medals. (4) PKB's hands look scary! (5) PKB unhappy the oath is in Nepali? (6) The bulging belly. For someone always in the slim range, that sudden belly. Another topic for CIAA investigation? A picture is worth a thousand words, a software edited/composed picture worth 1001 words! |
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| Desh_Bhakta_Bhattarai | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:44 PM
http://www.geocities.com/desh_bhakta_bhattarai/pm_bhagat1.jpg Paramendra Jee! Why are you not wearing Dhaka topi? |
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| nuts | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:45 PM
hey..i can't see the picture anywhere!! |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:52 PM
DBB. I was wearing a pagadi, a kurta and a dhoti. My face remains, but that cap has been edited on to my head. Some say I look like a Maoist with that cap on. It is important for me that it be known I am no Maoist. And that belly. It is NOT mine. Hare! Those disinterested looks are mine though. I had no particular desire to look at King G at the moment, I remember vividly. If I had known that would cost me the kursi, I would have given me one snap look , and only then looked away. Samay ma buddhi palayena. Just curious. Is that a safed roj (seto gulab) in King G's pocket? |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 03:53 PM
Typo. Stop Press. Is: I would have given me one snap look.. Should Be: ......... given him ......... |
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| Desh_Bhakta_Bhattarai | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 04:02 PM
Nepe, just type the below like to your browser and click "go" http://www.geocities.com/desh_bhakta_bhattarai/pm_bhagat1.jpg |
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| Rusty | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 04:31 PM
Sitara Ji, Thank God! you diagnosed Kala Niti’s disease before it infected our CPUs and Caches. “There is NO CURE for rabies once an animal or human shows symptoms.” UCLA student Kalanidhi, whose brain and spinal cord are tainted by electronic rabies, must be executed with lethal injection before he transfers his disease to others. His boss, KG, should have known that dogs are required by law to be vaccinated for rabies. If you are bitten or scratched by Kala Niti's "Niti", seek an immediate medical attention. Sitara Ji, no words adquate to describe your writing. you did absolutely wonderful job to retaliate Kalanidhi. Le bon travail encore!!! Le bon travail encore!!!:) Rusty Raccoon!!!! |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 09:00 PM
Company bankrupt, Dilasha ’s Jewellery in trouble The Sinking Nepal Sun Oct 13th, 2002 A billion-rupees Distillery company — the one in Sajhapur — in which Dilasha Devi teamed up sometime ago with the now-bankrupt Arnico Highway Products Ltd — has been placed on official receivership, according to several lawyers familiar with the case. Dilasha Diamonds and Jewellery Inc. which had been de-listed from the Sajhapur Stock Exchange after running into debts it could not pay amounting to more than Rs.10 billion had a majority stake in Dilasha Distillery and cookies , with the remaining stake held by the Arnico Highway Products (AHP). Reliable sources told this reporter that the sajhapur government had already taken several steps to protect its own interests in the company which had been earlier given massive tracts of land for tree plantation in Biruwa ropan kendra — some of which are being opposed by local natives — to support the Distillary Factory. It is known that all the managers had been sent to foreign countries including India for training purposes including the proprietress of the company at the time. Lawyers that this reporter spoke to said they first heard of the receivership about two hours ago when a case involving Adshibasi Customary Rights (ACR) land claim came up in the Sajhapur High Court against Dilasha Distillary and Cookies, and the defendant’s counsel informed the court of the company’s current status. It is learnt there are several cases of NCR land claims pending against the company. The receivership order is said to be connected with a large syndicate loan that Dilasha Distillary and Cookies obtained, but apparently it had failed to service interests on amounts already drawn. This is believed to involve about Rs.100 million. The worst news for the residents of sajhapur is that they will no longer be able to drink Sitara beer and be merry. :( Biruwa, the plant Reporting from the now dismantled Dilasha Distillery and Cookies |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 09:46 PM
Nepe INTERPOL UNDERGROUND, ASIA Dear Nepe ji; The Barking dog syndrome (BS) affecting Kalanidhi (as mentioned above, in my article of "The Sunday Supplement" ....) is known to have confusing symptoms. Another form of BS might have afflicted our own Biruwa ji. He was last seen inebrieted by sitara beer, without his beruwa (loin cloth) outside Dilasha distillery, single handedly attempting to close it down. Arson has been suspected in this matter. Any further infomation will be passed on to you. Best, Sitara Freelance Journalist The Sinking Nepal |
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| isolated freak | Posted
on 13-Oct-02 09:50 PM
nepe, inetrpol doesn't hand out info. on people. its done throught intelllgence aganecies. what interpol does is, if you provide them with the info. of people that are wanted in your country, they will, find those persons for you, if they happen to be at any of the member nation. this is INTREPOL. To find out about me, you might contact other intelligence agencies, mainly MOSAD, CIA, RAW, DMI (department of Military Intelligence of Nepal), RAA (Rasstriya Anusandhan Aayog) and Sainik Prahari. nepe mitra bidrodh ko lagi birodh garda garda kaha bata kaha kura pugne.. baru dashain ma basera raxi khana aaunus, aaba dhara 127/128/27 (3) use gare pachi tyaskai byakkhha ta garne ni.. aaru ko kina.. tyasmathi pani aaru dhara upadhara dafa le maharajadhiraj lai kehi haad samma karyakarini adhikaar upabhog garna diyekai cha kya re.. hoina j hune bhai halyo.. j hune ho huna baki cha.. k tauko dukhaune sathi, aaunus ma tapai lai ek bottle home made dinchu..call break khelne ho bhane paisa bokera lyaunus.. himali, polluted water of dhara 127 and 128 bhnada ta purifiedc water of 127 and 128 jasto lagyo malai. i sent my blood sample to disease prevention center ki k ho in atlanta, they say, its the purset blood! no virus, nothing contengious found re.. you an access the report at http:/klagdka.atlanta.gov.org.np.us.du.eu.com.edu |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 14-Oct-02 10:27 AM
Sitara, :( |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 14-Oct-02 11:32 AM
MISS INFORMATION!!!!!!! The Sinking Nepal Monday Supplement News Flash: The suspicious character seen around the vicinity of Dilasha Distillery was not the respected Mr. Biruwa Bot but rather somebody of similiar stature and features. The only common and exact match was that of their shadows. The matching shadow (cast on a moonlit night) prompted a hasty informer to misinform. Sitara: A misinformed journalist |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 14-Oct-02 11:53 AM
Sitara, ;) |
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| iXY | Posted
on 14-Oct-02 05:21 PM
Sitara and sinking Nepal, you should pay for the compensation of the damage caused by wrong reporting. A top level newspaper should not publish a hawadari news from hawadari source. The sinking nepal should asap take an action against Siatara for wrong reporting to avoid such mistakes in future. Nimitta Okil for Biruwa. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 14-Oct-02 06:48 PM
Public Announcement: The Sinking Nepal Kathmandu, Oct 14 The Sinking Nepal. Dear Sajhapur Baashis, ladies and gentlemen, We have received several complains from you regarding report presented by our senior journalist, Sitara, and our director of propaganda and recruitment, Biruwa. Noone can refute the fact that Sajhapur is in chaos right now. We, hereby, declare that we are seizing power from them until an interim committee of journalists is made using our prerogative mentioned in Article 127. The new team of "untained" journalists will be announced within five days. However, we have to go to Gorkha for a puja to take blessing from Durga Bhawani so the arrangements might take as long as a year. By then, our son will be back to consciousness from his regular doze of drugs! The two journalists were certainly "inept". Biruwa even failed to submit his report on SMR, who was suspected of suffering from mental illness earlier [but he was later found healthy], and to recruit enough journalists. While we do not doubt Biruwa's and Sitara's extra ordinary writing and organizational skills, we will leave no stones unturned to eclipse their better sides and expose those that are controversial. This will allow us to exercise full control over the publication the way our ancestors did. It was unfortunate that our brother agreed to leave power to the public. But we will not let that happen again. The new set of journalist will show a broad smile on their face but "be a serpentine underneath " [from Macbeth]. They shall be no more than our spokespersons or our detectives, to be more specific. We will "chastise them with the valor of [our] tongue" [from Macbeth again*] and make sure that they do not let anything out from our publication--all conspiracies shall lie within the board of directors! Pashupatinath le sabai nepali haru ko brainwash garun!! MP The Sinking Nepal __________________________________ This announcement was aired in the publication-owned radio "sinking nepal" on the day of Bijaya Dashami at midnight. MP prefers quiet hours to make announcements! *Our actions have been so much similar to that of Macbeth that we quote him in almost all notices! |
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| iXY | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 10:11 AM
I have no complain on labeling Sitara as "inept", as she did make a blunder. I am going to court to file a case against The Sinking Nepal for the damages caused by labeling my client "Biruwa" as INEPT. The SN has already made double mistakes and must pay for the both damages caused to my client. We were preparing for undisclosed settlement until before the 2nd mistake was committed. My client does not like to have undisclosed settlement since the 2nd mistake appeared in their press report. |
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| chipledhunga | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 10:18 AM
Lau na ni, Sajhapur ma pani absolute monarchy? |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 11:55 AM
DEPORTED!!!!!!!!!! Tuesday Supplement The Drowning Nepal Sitara, a new "illegant" immigrant in Sajhapur was caught red-handed by Sajhapur's IRS officer Logical Senseji ( Refer to thread "Am I getting Americanized"). She was known to have worked too many shifts on too many threads and thus taking away 100th generation sajhaite's threading jobs. She also recently lost her job at the Sinking Nepal when M.P. took over the Shakespearan Play "Macbeth" Logical Senseji was seen to have reported Sitara to NK (Naturalization Kommissar) who gleefully :] deported her to Cyberia of the Skies. Sitara, non the worse for her experiences in Sajhapur was quoted as having said," All I wanna do is have some fun..... :], and my road to cyber hell was paved with good intentions! " She also has 5 words to say to ixy "Catch me if you can!!!" Sitara's last reporting from Cyberia. |
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| oys_chill | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 12:17 PM
Recently the culprit bombed one of the harmless threads in sajha forcing the sea creatures out of their natural habitat....... Critiques are calling it "an act of terrorism" that cannot be tolerated at any rate. The bomb created havoc both in boston and sajha for the entire weekend. The bomb squad examined the "thread site" and concluded the bomb was used by a highly skilled "pro" who had used ceasless use of words without a comma and a full stop. Such long strings causes nuclear fission in the portal causing a chain reaction making the thread dormant... The sajha interpol are recently investigating the possible hideout of the culprit. In the chief briefing last weekend the interpol chief denounced such act " This shall not be tolerated in future. Even if there are billion sitaras in the sky, we'll search everyone of them till the culprit it brought to justice..." Meanwhile the victim's family is more concerned bout such attacks on sea in future and is pledging for security! oys dark side of the moon sajha! |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 12:20 PM
iXY, My dear Lawyer! Please consult with me before making any more of my case public. You very well know the result of making anything public in Sajhapur!! I hope I won't have to pay you since I am "tat" in all department specially after my sacking from TSN. I am now full-time self-employeed in finding a new career and thus am far more busy than in my previous job with TSN. |
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| Dilasha | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 01:07 PM
To: Biruwa the plant The Sinking Nepal Thapathali, Ktm Re: Company bankrupt, Dilasha ’s Jewellery in trouble Subject: VERY VERY VERY CONFIDENTIAL!!!! Bullshit! Total bullshit!! What the hell were you eating when you wrote that piece of crap? Pig’s intestines? Or frog’s eyes? Do you realize how much trouble you have caused our entire board of directors at Dilasha’s Diamonds and Jewellery Inc. with that filthy article of yours? By doing so, you have not only put your career in jeopardy but also damaged the entire reputation of The Sinking Nepal. You Mr. Biruwa are a disgrace to the Journalism sector of Nepal and a total waste for TSN. No wonder you’re fired by your editor. The dirt that needed to be swept away is blown by the wind!! (kucho le badarnu parne kasinger hawaa le udayo, in case you didn’t get it!) First of all, you don’t know how much Dilasha Diamonds and Distillery Inc. (DDD Inc.) is worth. If you did, you wouldn’t have written such a disgusting piece of shit in order to put us into shame. I agree ever since I shifted from Sun Microsystems to DDD Inc. things haven’t been going well. Of course you can figure out why-my coming from an entirely different industry to explore the diamonds and distillery business was the worst decision that I ever made. But hey, like every entrepreneur and investor who wouldn’t want to take risk? After all isn’t that what every business comprises of? Anyway back to our drawbacks- I agree we have failed to gain a competitive advantage by failing to improve, innovate and upgrade our core competencies over time. In which case our competitors overshadowed us. And what did we get by merging with Arnico Hwy Products? Mergers and ACCUSATIONS!! Despite our failed attempts to carve a niche by being the leader and innovator in the diamonds and distillery industry, our CEO Ms. Dilasha Devi has been constantly empowering her subordinates and employees in every possible way and the Board members have been striving to work on every level of corporate strategy through internal capital market allocation, corporate restructuring, retrenchment and other alternative conglomerate diversification strategies. You Mr. Biruwa need to do your statistical research and analysis properly for you have come up with false allegations and reports against DDD Inc. FYI no entity had given us massive tracts of land to build the company plants and headquarters. It was because of the contribution/donation from Ms Dilasha Devi’s renowned philanthropist grandfather Mr. Kalu Pandey that we were able to acquire such massive tracts of land. Because of your false baseless report the poor man had a massive heart attack and had to undergo a triple bypass. And again FYI, because of all this mess, DDD Inc. has liquidated parts of its assets and is now thinking of merging with Learner Brothers Inc. and is venturing out into movies-another example of unrelated diversification for long term growth. And if you ever write a nasty article about this particular one, then I tell ya Mr. Biruwa the plant, you will have no “khairiyat”!! Mr. Biruwa the plant, I repeat that you have proved that are a very incompetent journalist who relies on false rumors and hearsay and have thus lost your credibility. Our board members who had admired your articles are now totally disgusted with your cruel intentions to rip us off through your wicked pen. Btw, we have close associations with the Taliban in Pakistan so don’t forget what happened to Daniel Pearl!!!! Vinod Chosla Chief Financial Officer, DDD Inc. |
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| Junkie | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 04:00 PM
hehe Param-Mendra dai .... So where did you steal that hat from huh ....... Jai shamboo ...... satya-nash ...... |
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| iXY | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 05:35 PM
Press Release!!! It is to notify to public that Mr. Biruwa has disconnected all his business with our organization InterXY Coordinator, Inc. The reason cited was his inability to pay any cost related to the cases in pending. We would like to draw attention of public that Mr. Biruwa is no more our client in any sense. We are thinking of filing a case against him for the sudden single handed break of our contract. Mr. Biruwa claims that he is bankrupted "TAT", but, court is yet to declare him bank rupted. Thus, we are seeking him to pay the penalty for discontinuation of our contrats. We will fight until Mr. Biruwa owns a PAISA and does not clear the dues. We would like to clarify that this is the reason we are lawyer, in any sense a lawyer can sue and get his fees. Lawyer is only profession that never losses investments, we are determined to advocate and prove this public understanding. Lawyer can never loss even a cent. Mr. Biruwa is liable to pay the damages it caused by break of the contract. President InterXY Coordinator, Inc. |
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| Dilasha | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 05:40 PM
To: Biruwa the Plant Re: The hate email sent by Vinod Chosla Dear Mr. Biruwa, It was brought to my attention an hour ago that our CFO Mr Chosla sent you an exasperating email withougt my consent regarding the condition of DDD Inc. thus inflicting emotional pain upon you and your family. I hereby would like to apologize on his behalf. It is not our motive to hinder your profession which you have been enjoying with full respect and dignity so far. At the same time, we as business entities do expect some decency on your partl. We expect that you be well infomed before informing the public. I am sure you are well versed with your organization's vision and mission to provide the public with news and views without any biases and false reports and thus increase the readership and by doing so, you not only contribute to the welfare of journalism industry but also enhance the knowledge of the human minds. It is with deep regret that I write this as you are on the threshold of a new career. You have done a wonderful job as a journalist and I wish you nothing but success. Also, enclosed please find a check of Rs. 50000 part of which is the bonus I promised you a few weeks back and the rest is the compensatory and punitive damage (whatever you would like to consider) for the threatening email that Mr. Chosla wrote. Please buy as many khasis as you would like and enjoy the Dashain with friends and family. Yours Sincerely, Dilasha (Former CEO of DDD Inc.) |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 15-Oct-02 08:31 PM
Thank you Dilasha Devi for the intent of kindness on your part. I also wish you sucess in every venture you start !!!! note:Unfortunately, the check you enclosed bounced back. :( message to iXY No need to search for me far and wide!!! :) I am right here in Sajhapur. Come and get me if you can but I owe you nothing, nada, rien, niente. :) |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 16-Oct-02 01:32 PM
Nepal/Sajhapur's Wanted/On Sale List Kathmandu, Oct 16 The Sinking Nepal The Sinking Nepal publication will be sponsoring the following things that are desperately needed in Sajhapur and Nepal. We will be happy to barter any of these items with those mentioned in the "on sale list." We will be highly obliged if anybody in possession of these equipments sends us a "bijuli-patra" [email] here at Sajhapur. 1. "A sutshmadarsan yantra [a microscope] and a dur darsan yantra [a telescope]": These will be used to search for two outspoken bachelors of Sajha, Oohi Ashu and Paschim, and deposed prime minister of the republic, Paramendra Kumar Bhagat. Although Ashu peeped through the sajhapur window yesterday, he did not stay long. The three of them have been missing since days. The two yantras will also be used to hunt other prominent pilgrims of Sajha--including NK. 2. "An undisclosed location": This will be used to trash all unwanted stuff from Sajha. All poisonous products from Dilasha's distillary, Biruwa's uncashed check etc will be dumped first! If time demands, our sasastra fulish constable James Bond will dump people as well. Chaakadibaaj Kalanidhi is already on the dump-list. 3. "Top ten ways to Overcome Depression": This book will be mailed to our almost depressed journalists--Biruwa and Sitara. We hope they will go through the book and help themselve avert depression that obviously has been inevitable after they got fired from the Sinking Nepal. Biruwa, the bot, might need extra nourishment and that will be provided at the publication's expense. 4. "A Snipper": This will be used against anyone who acts against the publication's interest. 5. "A night chopper, and a microphone without battery": This will be used by our honorable President Gyanendra to make mid-night announcements. His excellency will go around the country in the night chopper and use the microphone to make announcements. The volume of the microphone will be set to minimum to avoid possible hearing by the public. ______________________________________ On Sale: 1. Brihat Angreji Sabdakosh: This has been of no use after our master-cum-bachelor Paschim suddendly disappeared from Sajha. NRs 35 or best offer. 2. A videotape--Dillagi: Ex-Prime minister Bhagat left this at Baluwatar. Although the present deputy prime minister is literally "exploiting" it [he went to an extent of doing offensive "dillagi" by saying the ex-King's move was constitutional], we will be selling this. Ex-pm Bhagat has been suffering from "seriousness" after he mistakenly left the video tape at Baluwatar. Bhagat, however, rejects our interpretation and says," it was not the video but my being at Baluwatar hot seat that made be joyous." NRs 53 or best offer. 3. The hot seat of CIAA: This will be on rent temporarily [until honorable Ashutosh Tiwari is discovered]. Only unmarried female candidates are eligible to rent this. This is to make sure that there is enough force to attract Oohi Ashu! NRs 63 or best offer. Questions or complains should be forwarded to: The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal P.O.Box: 63 Kathmandu, Nepal |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 16-Oct-02 04:12 PM
Nepal's President Smiles in More Than Four Decades Kathmandu, Oct 16 The Sinking Nepal Our highly reliable source at Narayanhity have stated that President Gyanendra smiled once while offering tika to the public during Dashain yesterday. If this report is true, the President will have smiled in more than 4 decades. "May be he was happy after appointing one of the Panchas to the premiership", a raajbhakta said on condition of anonymity as he came out of the nibartamaan palace after thaaping tika from the President. Ambassadors from all over the world have expressed dissatisfaction over the incident. "He did not smile even when I was presenting my credentials," ambassador Chowmein at Chinese embassy said. "This is the first act that has ameoliorated our national status in the international arena," Madhav Kumar Nepal, the leader of CPN (UML), said. "He used to show bharkhar-sutkeri-pare-jasto-mukh whenever we went there." Some say that the smile was a result of the videotape "Dillagi" that ex-PM Paramendra Kumar Bhagat had left at Baluwatar. "Mero video le kamaal gari liyechha", Bhagat said. Leaders in the republic of Nepal are known to have strong likings for Bollywood and Kollywood actors and actresses. Maoist chairman Prachanda is a big fan of Karishma Manandhar. Although it has not been verified independently, many Nepalese hunch that the President could be a big fan of Govinda, the Bollywood comedian [some think he is an actor!]. "Our President will not have hard time imitating Govinda", says the owner of "Try Again Cinema". "They are so much alike; except the smile, of course", he says. The smile has made a news now. The smile was also published on the front page of the Kantipur daily. The online version of the smile can be seen at http://kantipuronline.com/ . MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal ____________________________________ Note to iXY: Now that we have "extracted" a big smile from the President. On the auspicious occasion of this incident and Dashain, let us not go to the court; let's settle the dispute about Biruwa, the bot, through "raastriya sahamati"! |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 16-Oct-02 11:15 PM
Paramendra Bhagat lai ta NarayanGate Kanda lage jasto chhani. Don't worry Bhagat ji, me to WaterGate ma fasa diya gaya, aap nepal ka NarayanGate ma fas gaya. Narayan naam mat lo yaar, me bhe water ka naam sunneko bhi tayar nahi hun. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 17-Oct-02 01:00 PM
"And what did we get by merging with Arnico Hwy Products? Mergers and ACCUSATIONS!!" LOL "... "bijuli-patra" [email] ..." --- now, THIS is a riot! LOL Hold your horses/sutshmadarsan yantras/dur darsan yantras. I am here! ".. sasastra fulish constable James Bond..." lol "The volume of the microphone will be set to minimum to avoid possible hearing by the public." lol "A videotape--Dillagi: Ex-Prime minister Bhagat left this at Baluwatar." M.P. -- man, you are entertaining. Keep 'em coming. This is the funniest thread at the site. "..President Gyanendra..." Okay, now, this is curious. (1) Is it or is it not true that G, through a military coup, deposed me, and became King again? (2) If the bad news on DDD was false, does that also apply to my Prime Ministership? Am I goner? Or not? If not, why is some guy called Chand in the news? "...NarayanGate Kanda ..." LOL |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 17-Oct-02 01:12 PM
News Flash: Paramendra Bhagat Named The King Of Links The Hallai Halla Ko Desh Digest October 17 Our online freelance reporter Sitara sent an instant bijuli-patra (e-mail) a few minutes back to inform that the kingdom of Cyberia has welcomed the deposed Prime Minister of Nepal, the erstwhile Paramendra Bhagat, with open arms. He has been crowned the King Of Links. "King G should not have put the crown back on his head, but now that he has, I have my own, " Bhagat commented during his cyber media conference. The wires were abuzz with rumors and precious metals were spotted on the crown, even as it was being designed. "I am not competing with King G, but his founding father, the King P himself," Bhagat added. "Wo Gorkha ka Prithvi Narayan, main Cyberia ka Paramendra." |
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| NK | Posted
on 17-Oct-02 01:47 PM
No need to hunt me down with your Yantra M.P. Jiu, I am here! As Paschim said this thread is just so overwhelming it loses me time to time. Also the popularity of your newspaper is skyrocketing and so is the price in black market. Yes, you may not h ave realized but some interpreneurs sensing the hunger, are selling black. Maybe you ought to do something about it. After being jobless ,I am penny pinching and it is heart breaking not to be able to read the latest on our deposed prime minister or the newly appointed chancellor er I mean presinden G. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 17-Oct-02 01:58 PM
Games For Sajhapur The Hallai Halla Ko Desh Digest: Classified Section October 17 Games For Sajhapur (Please support our advertisers.) |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 17-Oct-02 02:04 PM
Letter to Erstwhile Prime Minister Bhagat Kathmandu, Oct 17 The Sinking Nepal Dear Mr. Bhagat, First of all, on behalf of my team I would like to congratulate you for being appointed as the king of links. I hope this is not the usual propaganda that you are used to spreading and wish good luck in your endeavor. To clarify your confusion about whether the head of the state is a "King" or a "President", let me first express my dissatisfaction over your lack of understanding of Gyanendra's behavior. Since he has given his first smile in ages, it should be an implicit understanding that he is of aggressive disposition. One can hardly predict when he is going to hire or fire someone [do not get too excited, you have not been hired again!]. One cannot predict what changes he makes within his hive. As you know, the mysterious area in the heart of Kathmandu has always been more mysterious than people would normally think. Several changes take place in this mysterious hole overnight. I am not sure how many times President Gyanendra has switched from a "King" to "President" but I can assure you that he is in the "President-state" right now. If an aristocrat with a big "raastra bachaau abhiyaan" could turn into a savior of the constitution overnight, switching from "king" to "President" and vise versa should not be a problem at all. I hope this clarifies the matter. If it does not, I suggest you forget about it. If it had been so easy to untangle the convoluted nuts surrounding the so called "constitutional monarchy", we would not have been where we are now. And you would never been the Prime Minister. Bhawadiye, MP The Sinking Nepal |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 17-Oct-02 02:07 PM
"...Bhawadiye..." Had not heard that in the longest time! LOL |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 17-Oct-02 02:32 PM
Summary In A Sentence Or Two Contest The Hallai Halla Ko Desh Digest October 17 It has been learned over the grapevine that the newly crowned King Of Links, Paramendra Bhagat, has launched an open contest called Summary In A Sentence Or Two. The contest has been launched as a pilot project for the territory of Sajhapur. After the trial period, it is expected to spread into other cyber territories like the love virus. The rules are as follows: (1) Describe a fellow resident in a sentence or two. (2) The total number of words used may not exceed 50. (3) Any entry should have at least five individuals described. There is no upper limit. (4) A person may enter the contest as many times as desired, but the above rules apply each time. (5) There are no language barriers to entry, "though I hope Maithili and Hindi get widely used," the monarch surmised. The monarch, who several have compared to King P of Gorkha from a few hundred years back, inaugurated the contest by making the following entry. He was said to be busy composing more entries even while this reporter was typing away in a hurry. M.P. --- Member of Paramendrapur/Pataliputra/Parwanipur/Pakistan/Papua New Guinea/Patan Dhoka (As in the song: mujh ko na de ye dhoka)/Palestine and other related territories. The gentleman published a newspaper. Many confuse him for a parliamentarian. And he is known to revel in the confusion. Ashu --- Quarreling, all barrels blazing, argumentative, gets on several people's nerves all while holding a full time job, and a part time search. Nicknamed sasu bina ko ashu on his slow days. Also known to have fast days when he is missing in action during the lunch hour. Paschim --- Was last heard on radio in the jungles of south China. But then some mistook the voice for Bin Laden's. And the precise point of origin of the radio signal could not be located. Addicted to the online game "search anne miss." Sitara --- Sitara, Pitara. Flies like a kite, barks like a rein deer, sweet like honeysuckle, scathing like The Sinking Nepal. This part-time student/counselor is a full-time Sajhawasi. Citizen Czar (not to be confused with the deposed Russian, circa 1917) is said to have a thing for her. NK --- Formerly known as Namita in cyber circles, NK has shortened her cyber name. Some attribute the change to burnt fingers. Others say that was her way to introduce her last name to the identity without prolonging her username to an undue length. Her last name remains a mystery of Golgothian proportions. Anepalikt --- Sitara complained it is Anepalikt and not her regal self that "barks like a rein deer" but the truth is "out there, may the force be with you." The said individual, despite her name that is said to have an unmistaken linkage to some little known kingdom run by an even less known little King G, is known to know very few words in the language that shares the name. Suna --- She is said to have a sing-song voice. But when she takes offense, that is it, as happened once on the janajati question when some "pigs" (the cyber term for sexist men, but then that term might also be used by other lands less well governed) thought they could insult her and get away with it. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 17-Oct-02 03:01 PM
PJ... (Paramendra ji) Nice ones... You forgot to write up Sitara as "Illigant Immigrant" ;) |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 18-Oct-02 03:50 PM
Letter of Recommendation Required Kathmandu, Oct 18 The Sinking Nepal MP, the chief editor of the Sinking Nepal, is applying for the post of Chief Executive Joker advertized by Kunda Dixit in the article called "Recently de-classified ads" [visithttp://www.nepalnews.com.np/ntimes/issue115/undermyhat.htm for details] . The letter sent to the editor of the Nepali Times is produced below. This is to request readers of the Sinking Nepal to write a recommendation letter for MP. We have decided to reject the description written earlier by the deposed Prime Minister Paramendra Kumar Bhagat [Bhagat, however, will be awarded for his descriptions of Paschim, Ashu, Sitara, NK, Suna, and anepalikt. Few points will be deducted for missing out Dilasha, Biruwa, Orion, Jame Bonds and iXY]. Two entries can be sent at most [Mr Bhagat, check this out!] Letters of recommendation should be mailed to the Sinking Nepal publication. No letter bombs allowed. Best recommendation will be awarded ten packs of Wai Wai Chau Chau and titaura if the winner is a female and three packs of Balwan Chhap khaini if the winner is a male. This is a Dashain Bumper Upahaar and expires on the eve of Bhaitika. ____________________________________ Dear Editor, The Nepali Times I am writing to apply for the post of Chief Executive Joker announced by Kunda Dixit in his article "Recently de-classified ads." I have been serving as the Editor-in-chief of the Sinking Nepal, a daily based on www.sajha.com, for the last 2 months. Politically, I am "untainted" and I have no intention of running the next election. I have been "laathi-charged" by the "sasastra fulish" only once and have served two days in jail for deriding a police officer. I know how to caricature most of the prominent leaders of Nepal like Girijababu, Makune, Deuba, and even Chand-ji. If selected for this prestigious job, I will do everything possible to ameliorate the quality of humor in your paper. References can be taken from my employer in the Sinking Nepal daily. You can contact him at administrator@sajha.com. Please feel free to publish my cover letter in your next issue of the Nepali Times and to forward it to the master of Nepali humor, Kunda Dixit. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Bhawadiye, MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal PS: By the way, how are you celebrating the Smile-Occassion? Heard that there was a laughing gas explosion in Narayanhity that day when President Gyanendra smiled. Did I hear the right thing? |
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| Biruwa | Posted
on 18-Oct-02 04:20 PM
Dear Editor, The Nepali Times I know MP, the maha-pandit of maha-pagals of sajha since a couple hundred hours. He has ameliorated the status of himself in sajha with his paper "TSN". He received the award of "sajhapur award of the day" early on in his journalistic career from me. I am happy to note that he hasn't looked back since !! I hear that he wants to be Chief Executive Joker at your command! I am sure he will make for a very good syntactical joker. M.P had suffered multiple paralysis in his early day thus his facial expression in funny too, though I don't know how relevant that is to the job he is applying for(side note: MP is going to eat me alive after this!).He hasn't been known to make too many ludicrous jokes, which again goes to his credit. I must at this point acknowledge the Balwan Chhap khaini that MP has promised to give to me even though you may be receiving other recommendation letters. :) Toh khai ke khaini balwan chhap wa la kule jaye banda aakala ka taala Biruwa, the Plant (Psychologyst and plastic surgeon) Sajhapur. Disclaimer: Khaini is injurious to health and wealth and also contains life-inhibiting substance! |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 19-Oct-02 02:10 AM
Explosion at my Teacher's School was a Mistake: Bhattarai Sajhapur Latest: Harvard-theory Vs Coin-Theory Kathmandu, Oct 18 The Sinking Nepal Politbureau member of the underground CPN (Maoist), an organization earlier declared terrorist by the mentally-ill government of the republic of Nepal, has refuted the charges laid against him by saying that the bombing of his teacher's school in Kailali was a result of miscalculation. "It was not intended," he said. "I have made sure that my kith and kin are safe and secure. I have sent my children to UK. How could I destroy Varughese's school when he is my guru?" he questioned. Media has reported that on Wednesday night, the maoists entered the school grounds, threatened the guards, ransacked the offices and blew up the main building after wiring it up with explosives. Refuting the charges, Bhattarai said, "the people who destroyed the school could be Badal's entourage. This stupid Badal has been too "ugrabaadi" in the last few months. Now, there are dim chances that we can go to the election. Seems like I will not be able to exploit the national property by becoming a member of parliament again. Even Prachanda dai is hopeless now." Badal, however, diagreed that the attack was launched by his followers. "If we want, we can attack the Dharahara. Why should we destroy his pathetic school?" he said referring to Dr Bhattarai. Denying the charges of being "ugrabaadi", Badal said, "this is called constructive destruction. If Babu-ji can not comprehend this simple phenomenon, of communism, I suggest he hand over the hot seat of Chaayaa Premiership to me." "Haami chhai mari mari yudda garni, uni haru chhai India maa basera nity tathaa kaaryekram banaauni?" Badal vented his frustration towards Bhattarai and Prachanda. Meanwhile, a conflict is emerging in the small town of Sajhapur, hundreds and hundreds of miles north of the Capital, about the possible contribution of Nepalese residing in foreign land to Nepal. An "act-but-dont-show-off" school of thought [referred to as the Harvard-theory hereafter] led by former CIAA chief honorable Ashutosh Tiwari is claiming that people should make contributions without necessarily claiming credit and another school of thought called "you-didnt-do-no-shit-only-collecting-coins-can-help-nepal" [referred to as the Coin-theory hereafter] claims that gathering coins can be the only panacea for national crisis. This conflict, according to our chief editor MP, is analogous to the on going conflict between the political parties and the monarch. "Whichever you chose, you lose", he said. Moreover, there is internal conflict within the first school of thought between Ashutosh Tiwari and Paschim, which is again analogous to Baburam-Badal dispute! Propounders of the Coin theory, especially Poonte, Sitara, Sparsa, and Jame Bond--the sasatra fulish constable--argue that a concerted effort from here CAN make a difference if not done shelfishly and that Ashu and Paschim polluted "a thread started with good intentions". However, it is an irony that these propounders, with not-so-clean-image are trying to preaching their ideals in a sky of inflated egoes. "Although I did not get both side of the story, I suggest everyone to do what they deem is right. In an any-how-win place like Sajhapur, there is no point in quarrelling on petty things. If you strongly feel about something, get a bunch of like-minded people and DO it. Ashu wont hurdle on your way; he has a full time wife-search. And you do not need to be called by the planning commission to work for Nepal," said MP, the chief editor of this publication. The Sinking Nepal publication decided to have one minute maun dharaan over the narrowmindedness shown by both Harvard and Coin camps. There have been undulating predicaments in the happiness of the publication recently. "Yesterday, we were celebrating the Smile of President Gyanendra and today, we have to do maun dharan," says Biruwa, the most likely candidate for the chief editor of the Sinking Nepal if MP gets the post of Chief Executive Joker in the Nepali Times. Meanwhile, Dashain holidays will be extended by a day on the auspicious occassion of President Gyanedra's smile on the day of tika. This would mean the republic of Nepal will have altogether 350 holidays including Bandhs, Saturdays, Sundays, Festivals, Janma Diwas, Mrityu Diwas, Raj-Sawari, Raj-Smile,Princessj-Ovary-Operation, Raj-Coup etc. MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal |
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| ashu | Posted
on 19-Oct-02 10:39 AM
MP, Thoroughly impressed by your creative contributions, I'll meet that Mad Hatter Kunda Dixit personally to strongly recommend that you be hired ASAP by The Nepali Times. This is the least I could do for you, after smiling and laughing at all your jokes here for the past several days. :-) oohi "full-time job holder and a part-time wife-searcher" :-) ashu ktm,nepal |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 02:04 PM
(Private e-mail to the Chief Editor, Nepali Times) Rumor has it that, on the basis of some well-written recommendations, you are about to hire a mysterious entity by the username of M.P. - for he has no other known identity - for the job of Chief Executive Joker. You might not know me, but major Kathmandu socialites like Ashu - oohi Ashu ke ta - do, and it would be in your interest to follow my advice regardless: Don't hire that mugger! For the past seven generations at least, there is no "chief" in his blood line. I did a quick search on Google on the family trees of most of the prominent known tribes in Cyberia, from the Navajo to the Nagas, and M.P. does not show up anywhere. Be forewarned. His claims to the title of "chief" might be based on some certificate bought in Bihar. He is a rumor mill, he is a propagandist, he is a cyber squat who has taken more space than is due anyone in the cyber territory of Sajhapur - a couple hundred miles into the Pacific off of the Guinea islands - but he is no executioner. Rather, he is the one who has been summarily cyber-executed by many whose egos he has teased, and King G is known to be himself on a lookout for this M.P. character. "Jyak de bajya lai," the shree panch confided in a private meeting with his top aide. As for his jokes, he is way too funny for your readership. I have some idea of the kind of crowd that buys your paper. They are too busy looking important (why else would they go to public places like Asan to buy your trash of a newspaper) to have the kind of sense of humor that M.P. is known to cash on. He is fit for The Sinking Nepal that noone would read if they had to buy it. It is known to distributed free online to people who, during work time, sneak on to mysterious cyber destinations. He is too used to a readership that has a hard time taking themselves or anyone else seriously. Joke ko pani ta euta weight hunchha. Bhanya mana, yaar, ghyampo phutau, tara yo M.P. lai hire na gara. Sutukka bhaneko ni maile. Bhabadiya. Wahi. PKB. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 02:52 PM
An Open Letter to Paramendra Kumar Bhagat Kathmandu, Oct 20 The Sinking Nepal To: Paramendra Kumar Bhagat Head Propagandist Sajhapur Mahodaye, Our "jaasush" at the Nepali times have revealed to us that you have been campaigning against MP, the chief editor of this publication, who has been running for the post of Chief Executive Joker. Our sincere advice to you: unless you were bitten by a rabies-laageko-kukur, it is not worth pursuing what you are doing right now. Like Krishna Prasad Bhattarai, the paan-master, you are capable of winning only once and you used your quota when you were appointed as the Prime Minister of Nepal. KPB [Krishna Prasad Bhattarai] le "class monitor" pani jitna jaaneko chhaina. And you are PKB, not much different from KPB; it is just a matter of interchanging the first two letters! If MP wins, mark these words, your pyaar-pyaar-bolne-jibro will be subjected to 100V electric current like Deuba's tongue was during Panchayat! You will be left in a room with no computer [not even a type writer] for 2 months. No links, nothing! Your geocities account will be disabled or hacked, and the Sinking Nepal will publish a nude picture of yours on its front page! MP is always underground; even Chaakadibaaj P.S. Rana will not be able to catch him, forget about those non-turup police officers with 2nd-world-war-ko bharuwa banduk! Honorable Ashutosh Tiwari and Biruwa have already submitted their letters of recommendation and obtained a huge amount of Balwan Chhap Khaini [although Ashutosh Tiwari has given some other reasons for recommending me, I strongly think he is doing this for Khaini! He was chewing juicy fruit gum and singing "timi laai dherai mayaa garchhu ho" to the only female tempo driver in Kathmandu the other day. I saw a stingy black substance in his lower jaws then. Other passengers in the tempo hunched that the black substance was the same "mysterious kaalo padaartha" supposedly used in the ex-royal palace when King Birendra's family was wiped out]. Baru buddi puryaa yera, aafno private email firtaa liyera mero pakchhemaa campaign garna laage hunchha. With a bit of biructance, MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal _______________________________________________________ For those who do not understand Neplish, "biructance" is a new word coined from the Nepali word "Birakta" and modified to sound English. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 03:35 PM
Cyber-dohori!? LOL |
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| kalankisthan | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 04:20 PM
Paramendra jyu "disappointed" as Interim prime minister? Loke dai le sri 5 lai dhoke Loke dai le PM post boke Loke dai le dinbhari khoke Loke dai le sri 5 ko "instruction" 100 choti ghoke Loke dai le cong & comm. lai roke Loke dai everytime PM, "bho ke"? Loke dai ko daya baaya lauke Loke dai ko maathi chai tauke Loke dai le paan banaraswala khaike Loke dai le Para Jyu ko naak-aima toke Para jyu disappointed, but he is feeling a okay hehe... |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 04:21 PM
:-) |
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| ashu | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 08:21 PM
Balwan chaap khaini? What would I do with that? I thought for services rendered, I was going to get packets and packets of those chewy, rectangular, brown-color ko and ekdam mitho "lapsi ko candies" that one can buy, among other places, at New Road to Taja Goodpak Bhandar. Even female tempo drivers -- i.e. Suntali Maiya and Ful Kumari -- dig the stuff. :-) No, I request that I be "lapsi ko candies" by my reward. oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| ashu | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 08:21 PM
Balwan chaap khaini? What would I do with that? I thought for services rendered, I was going to get packets and packets of those chewy, rectangular, brown-color ko and ekdam mitho "lapsi ko candies" that one can buy, among other places, at New Road to Taja Goodpak Bhandar. Even female tempo drivers -- i.e. Suntali Maiya and Ful Kumari -- dig the stuff. :-) No, I request that I be given "lapsi ko candies" as my reward. oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 08:53 PM
Former CIAA Chief Ashutosh Tiwari in Love with Lapsi Kathmandu, Oct 20 The Sinking Nepal After shouting here and there and mostly in his nest in Kathmandu about "pitte Patrakarita" while referring to the recent nude-scandal, former CIAA chief honorable Ashutosh Tiwari has confessed that he was deeply in love with Lapsi, a teenage girl from Janakpur, the homeland of deposed Prime Minister Paramendra Kumar Bhagat. "Malai Lapsi ko Candies nai chaainchha; aru le candies diyera hudaina", Tiwari has been quoted as saying in most national papers based in Kathmandu. Given his Harvard degree, everyone had a hard time understanding all the good adjectives Tiwari used to describe his lover. Brihat Angreji Sabdakosh brought earlier to solve Paschim's puzzles has proved useless. "The Phrase 'packets and packets of those chewy, rectangular, brown-color ko and ekdam mitho' is really hard to decipher.This is certainly not from Sanskrit," a Pujari at Pashupatinath said from inside the bikash-ko-naam-maa-bhatkaauna-laageko temple. "I pretended to be after the safa-tempo-chalaks just to divert attention," Tiwari said in a clinton-style confession today. "Paile laaj laagera nabhaneko," he further said hesitantly. Tiwari had earlier rejected the balwan chhap khaini offered by MP, our chief editor, for recommending MP to the post of Chief Executive Joker, a portfolio being handled by President Gyanendra right now. "I rejected Khaini, my ex-lover, to delight Lapsi, my present lover," Tiwari said."Tara kasaile Lapsi ko nude picture patrikaa maa chhapaayo bhane, raamro hune chhaina!" Tiwari's referral to New road ko taaja gudpak bhandaar remained ambiguous for a while. However, after meticulous efforts in his research, Paramendra Bhagat, now a berojgaar, found that the gutpaak bhandaar was only a meeting place. "Tyo gutpaak bhandaar milan chowk bhai liyeko ho", Bhagat said. "Teha kin mel kehi hudaina. Kewal mel hunchha. Ashu ko dhoti fuskiliyo. Khuching!" MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 20-Oct-02 09:51 PM
PJ (Paramendra ji) Very funny hajur :) MPJi, Absolutely riotous hajur!!!!!!!!! BTW, the laapsi ko candy is is supposedly laced with a potent drug called harpic. It is sweet, sour and quite intoxicatingly addictive. An overdose of it might make one delusional as well as incoherent... kyare! Laapsi was known to have been pushing the product to poor gullible Ashu of khichha pokhari ko gully! Ashu ji, who is normally a very sweet, rational man has been overdosing on both Laapsi and her products. All of his friends are very sad that Laapsi has come into Ashu ji's life and caused havoc with his money. Laapsi, in her conniving feminine ways has managed to divert his coins into buying Laapsi candies! He was last seen pushing/pulling for laapsi products! :) Sitara still hung by her toes in the cyber sky! :( |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 11:02 AM
Nepal Army's Lie Detector Starts to Function Deuba's Sofa Stolen... Kathmandu, Oct 21 The Sinking Nepal For the first time after the state of emergency was imposed in the himalayan republic a year ago, the lie detector kept at the army head quarters in Chhauni has started functioning. The army has, therefore, confessed for the first time that people without arms ARE being killed. In a recent clash between the so-called security forces and so-called people's liberation army in Bardia, nine maoists have been killed--KOL reports. The fact that the defence ministry was unable to give a clear description of the number and type of weapons seized is an indication of a possibility that no weapons were seized. Nepal's security forces have 100% aiming rate. Everyone the forces kill is a "maoist cadre" and something is seized everytime an attack is launched. With the lie detector working, the security forces will no longer be able to conceal their clandestine acts. "But there is a greater chance that we will be awarded if we kill innocents", says P.S. Jung Bdr Rana. Recently, ex-prince Paras awarded "Policeman of the Year" to Bikram Singh Thapa, a fulish constable supposedly involved in murder of Krishna Sen, one of the few sane journalist according to the research carried out by UNCHRNJ and the Sinking Nepal. "One murderer awarding another murderer! This is outrageous", says MP, our chief editor, charging the ex-Prince of killing Pravin Gurung. "Paras-ji should be subjected to the lie detector,"MP further said. "What if Paras also claims to have killed a maoist and seized some ammunitions, .808 rifles and pocket bombs from Pravin?" a passerby ridiculed Paras. Meanwhile, deposed Prime Minister Deuba lamented over his stolen sofa set. The absent minded ex-PM became aware of his stolen sofa when some uninvited guests came for a tea party at his residence in Budhanilkantha. "Khochaakhoch bhayo, ukushmukush bhayo, chalne thaau nai bhayena, pet raakhne thaauni bhayena, ani po Deuba-ji le sofa chori bhayeko thaahaa paaunu bhayo," says MaKuNe, the leader of CPN (UML). Eutaa-nightbus-ko-sit-maa-10janaa-base jasto picture is available at http://kantipuronline.com/. "Bhariyeko pet maa aagaadi pachhaadi garera basna parne. Kasto bidambana?" says Hridayesh Tripathi, who had been to Deuba's residence straight from his bathroom [he forgot to keep his towel-lungi double purpose linen back, see picture]. Deuba and Oli sat "agaadi" and the rest sat "pachhaadi". Frustrated [and of course, squeezed] Jhalanath Khanal was too disappointed to utter a single word through out the luncheon. MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal |
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| NK | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 11:12 AM
I am getting sick of this thread. Am I the only one. No, I did n ot read the latest bakamfusey khabar. Have stopped buying it! |
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| Deep | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 11:38 AM
oohi "full-time job holder and a part-time wife-searcher" :-) ashu Aba yo budeskal ma pani ajhai "full-time" wife search nagera kina ni "part-time" wife search garya ho? BTW, what are the job description of a "part-time" wife? Tyaha gopi-kisna hall ko side ma ek dui jana chhan re "part-time" wife ka candidate bhanne halla sunya chhu. Dui char din bho rey PKB pani tyatai hallidai garya. "yasai ghumi lidai chhu ni dai, hawa khailiyera" is what PKB was heard saying when Ram Bikram asked suspiciously kanyaudai hineko PKB, "ye bbhaiyya yaha ke khana aaira hai?". Ashu, ek choti tyata chhyassa gopi-kisna tira pugera aaihalne ho ki? arkaile udai dela feri! (part-time wife khojne ko big bigi ta maile ke bhannu parla ra...haina? shubha-chintak, Deep P.S. Bahir "part-time" ghar ma "full-time" wife ko chakkar le pachhi tanawgrasta parla hai. |
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| Deep | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 11:42 AM
"I am getting sick of this thread. Am I the only one" Achche! kina hunthyo? hami chhainam ra? |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 11:44 AM
To Senior Analyst NK Kathmandu, Oct 21 The Sinking Nepal Dear NK, I mentioned earlier that I was "publishing" the Sinking Nepal for my personal pleasure. I am shelfish [like anyone else here at Sajha!]. Whether the Sinking Nepal should stop was a controversy raised earlier too. Then CIAA chief Ashutosh Tiwari--Oohi Ashu--gave a "go ahead" and here we are! If you are sick of this thread, that's your problem, not ours. Feel free not to read this. Although we will be disheartened to have lost a valued costumer like you, we believe in democracy--people should be let to decide for themselves. In this connection, we would also like to appreciate you for exercising your right to oppose. People have different tastes. Some are interested in politics, some in literature and so on. If everyone was as skeptic as you are in politics--this I am inferring from your posting before--particularly the national politics, "Pratyush Onta" will never get involved in politics. And doctors and engineers alone can not make tomorrow a bed of roses. If my reply to you pinches you somewhere, my apologies. But I am sure ex-Prime Minister Bhagat, CIAA chief Ashutosh Tiwari and his excellency from Gorkha-1, Paschim, have been pinched too. And I do not regret over what my publication has done. Publication of the Sinking Nepal WILL decline since MP has other things to take care as well but it will not stop just because a mere spectator does not like it. For your information, there is very little, if any, truth in our publication. You need not buy it! Hear it with one ear and "udaaosh" with another. But some people KNOW where the truth lies, the spot I am targetting, and they are our primary target. We can not make everyone happy here. Adament to my opinion I remain, MP The Sinking Nepal. |
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| NK | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 11:52 AM
Ok, i saw it, and still not reading it! One score for me and 0 for Sunk Nepal! :) |
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| NK | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 11:57 AM
Or is it S(k)unk Nepal? LOL just heard from the grapevine that the S(k)unk Nepal needs to close down its office! Otherwise, there is going to be some protest march infront of the hawako office of Skunk Nepal and many virtual lives will be virtually lost. The march will be headed by Raja of Sajhapur. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 12:01 PM
Mp ji: she came, she saw, she sunk* it!!! NK (Naturalization Kommissar) :P *deported to cyberia |
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| NK | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 12:22 PM
Deep, thank you for your undying support. Or is it (undying) ? Anyway, I am spending way too much time threading(Courtesy to Sitara) on something I (note *I*) have lost interest in. This is my last posting for today. Some people have to eat too you know. You know what I mean? ?? Naturalization Kommisar? Ach! Since when Sitara?:) |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 12:48 PM
M.P. : "Tyo gutpaak bhandaar milan chowk bhai liyeko ho", Bhagat said. "Teha kin mel kehi hudaina. Kewal mel hunchha. Ashu ko dhoti fuskiliyo. Khuching!" Deep : "yasai ghumi lidai chhu ni dai, hawa khailiyera" is what PKB was heard saying On a serious note, you two pahadiya folks/jokes, you might want to refrain from this Panchayate Kaal "humor" on the supposed Teraian-Nepali. Not different from your getting called "Bahadur," etc. One can be funny without being racist/sexist/ethnicist. Give it a try. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 12:50 PM
About this thread ----- I hope it will sustain itself as a humorous outlet for commentaries on Nepali politics. There is no other like this one! :-) |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 04:34 PM
A Press-Garbage Kathmandu, Oct 21 The Sinking Nepal To: Mr P K Bhagat Although I have sent a personal bijuli-patra to your address, I was away for sometime (FYI, I am now a full time employee at Sajha) and therefore could not express my apologies in public here. Reason for being away: I am one of those "people [who] have to eat too you know" [NK, 2002]. I would like to apologize for using “gariliyeko”, “bhani liyeko”-type words while referring to your comments. Although I did not want to make my remarks too personal, sometimes these are simply inevitable. "You know what I mean? ??" [NK, 2002]. Sorry if these sounded too derogatory (in contrast to “plain humor” they were intended for). To:Sitara I seized all executive power from you the other day. However, people at the office say they are missing you alot. Is it true that you have been deported? In any case, I can not help you with the immigration thing. The Kommissioner is angry with me! [and she is going to eat me alive if I have erred in quoting her] Do you think talking to the former CIAA chief will help? He is a nice guy [at least as long as you provide him a pack of lapsi ko achaar] and he should be able to help you with law. By the way, do not forget to indicate "Female and Unmarried" at the top right corner of the request letter you send to him [If you are doing this at all]. If you need transportation, contact the deposed Prime Minister Bhagat. I heard he is going trucking across Amrika. Bhawadiye, MP The Sinking Nepal |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 05:16 PM
Keep up the fun(ny) stuff, MP! :-) |
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| ashu | Posted
on 21-Oct-02 08:11 PM
MP, I urge you and Biruwa and others in your staff, time-permitting, to keep up with your The Sinking Nepal work . Just as I am NOT sick of reading NK's poems on suskera and elsewhere, I am NOT sick of reading your news dispatches here. I, for one, have thoroughly enjoyed all your postings, and did NOT and do NOT mind being made fun of in any way at times. Laughter, they say, is the best medicine, and so long as you are serving the best medicine on sajha, I, as a reader, appreciate your efforts. As writer William Zinsser has said in one of my all-time-favorite books, "On Writing Well": Sometimes, humor is the only effective way to tell the truth. Keep up the great work that you've been doing -- seleflessly and voluntarily. PS, Deep: You will be invited to my wedding. Please email me your address :-) oohi your fan in ktm, Nepal ashu |
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| Deep | Posted
on 22-Oct-02 11:15 AM
PS, Deep: You will be invited to my wedding. Please email me your address :-) Kameez suruwal chhekauna kahile jam ta ma uso bhe? (easta kot ta purnai chha... tara ...chalchha...layera purano bhako haina...rakhera ho kyuare). Ani janti chahi ma hinera jana saktina hai...ahilai bhandya chhu...ani tyo minibus ma lane bhe chhadne sanga malai narakhnu....pahila pahila ek dui choti afno naya luga dung dungti huni gari chhadya chhan saha jantiharule.....ani masu bhanera ma katar pani khanna ..nuti nagget pani khanna.... baki chahi nimto card paye si sodhamla..ke ke ho kaso kaso ho.... tara ...heri ...bya chahi kahile ho? ** ye sanchhi! yaha sajha ko euta lai chinya chha maile...telle "chyana pultu chyana pultu jhyai garne baja... man pareko maya lai paye aaja" ma aaudhi ramro bangi bangi nachha...tellai pani lyauchhu ni hai...ashu dai? |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 22-Oct-02 01:16 PM
Letter to the Editor. The Sinking Nepal. Dear Sir. Rumor is rife that the "known quantity" Ashu - first name oohi - is getting married. Will your publication please dig in and find out where the truth lies? Bhabadiya. Wahi. PKB. |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 22-Oct-02 11:43 PM
Kathmandu, Oct 23 The Sinking Nepal Dear Mr. Bhagat, We are glad to note that you have maintained your propagandist nature even after being deposed from the post of Prime Minister. We, as descent journalists, can not delve into personal lives of people. If you are so eager to spread the rumor, please feel free to send bulk emails to all Sajhabashis with lots and lots of links. Make sure you do not publish a nude picture of Mr Tiwari unless you want to be "arrested" by Nepali Police [and mark--arresting you will mean the first successful action of the Nepal Police in ages]. It is evident that about 15 policemen need to be employed for a year to arrest a journalist! If we have to send policemen to hunt you down, it will be a big economic loss to the republic. And how can our royal darpok army fight with the Maoists without those brave policemen who are ready to fight even without weapons? We have learnt that honorable Ashutosh Tiwari has started imitating President Gyanendra. It is likely that contrary to the usual panche-bajaa-sahit-ko-bihe, he will have a silent marriage at midnight on the day of Kukurpuja. We might have to keep spies in all tols of Kathmandu if we HAVE to find out the details of his marriage. Meanwhile, feel free to create your own propaganda and spread it in your vicinity and beyond. If you do not find Oohi's photographs, you might want to contact honorable minister Upendra Devkota. I heard he has started specializing in photography, choreography, poetry, and painting besides his regular politics, lower and upper chambers, and Red Blood Cells! Good luck with your "project" and let us know if you need any help! Best, MP The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal _________________________________________ On a side note: before you jump into the project, make sure you do it "voluntarily" [unless you want to be thrashed for no mistake of your own; refer to some other thread in Sajha] and do not forget to consult the proponents of Harvard-theory and Coin-theory of national development. A vast amount of literature has been written on the issue at Sajhapur! "You know what I mean? ??" [NK, 2002]. |
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| NK | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 09:21 AM
If you can't beat 'em, then join 'em. My not "buying it" did not stop the bakamusey patrika like Skunking Nepal err.. I mean Sinking Nepal, I could not help but read! Somebody, quick! Shoot me! Ok just on the foot though hai? Please be careful when you do that... yes yes right there next to my long painted toe nails... Also, got tired of throwing stones at my elderly neighbor's house and scaring the kids of the neighborhood by showing warts that have sprouted all over my face like comedians in Sajhapur, I had nothing to do except come back to this thread that is by the way getting thicker and thicker by every day. I have noticed that Skunking Nepal has started to quote my mahan bani left and right. Now my concern or let's say greed (but in an audible inner voice) is: am I going to get some royalty here???? Right now my full-time lawyer is busy suing MomoQueen for messing up with my momo. Can you believe I found a rabbit foot in my momo? Oh yes about our deposed prime minister's query about Ashu's marital status. Was not Ashu asking about flowers the other day? Do you some relevance in his search for "flowers" or "suitable flowers?" Hmm.... I will keep on trying to derail your seemingly unstoppable not quite bullet train. |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 12:48 PM
Oohi Ashu ji CIAA Head Honcho ThatManCanDo, Nepal Dear oohi Ashu ji, I am writing on behalf of Sitara, the firebrand journalist who has been banished to Cyberia by NK (Naturalization Kommissar) of Sajhapur. The staff of The Sinking Nepal have been missing the kool temper of Ms. Sitara along with her zennist, simplistic humour. It's been heard that Ms. Sitara was last seen wandering around Sajha ko chat under the freezing name of Himali. However, one of the CGS (Corrupt Gossipers of Sajha)on duty: a certain Ms. Gold Glitter, having found out Himali's real identity, confiscated Sitara's passport; stripped her of her id, driver's license, safeway card, metrocard and all namecards rendering her inoperable in Sajha chat. Ms. Gold Glitter was last seen wandering around sajha chat as Ms. Himali along with Himali's registered passport. A very sad and banished Sitara has been threatened of exposure regarding her profession, her private life (that she has 25 childrren), her address and most of all her obscure past. Despite such limiting circumstances, Sitara has assumed another freezing name in the hope that she may be allowed to talk (chat) to gossipers (some chatters) in Sajha chat house. Undeterred by such threats of exposure she has defiantly asked me to write this letter to you. It is my opinion that due to the recent loss of her job, Sitara's children are starving and dodging bullets of Ms. Gold Glitter's malicious ink. I have come to request an investigation into this inappropriate behaviour and ask you to reinstate Ms. Sitara back to her former position as the respected journalist of THE SINKING NEPAL. Thanking you for your kind consideration in this matter, Yours Sincerely, Annapurna: Sitara's soul friend DC: Sniper zone |
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| Gold Digger | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 01:15 PM
Sitar Hajoor, One minor correction: I am a diamond digger not merely gold. ;) Another correction: I am not a Corrupt Gossiper. I am a Super Duper Gossiper!! :-) |
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| jame bonds | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 01:15 PM
Whoever took Sitara's identity should hand it back to her before the CIAA put them in house arrest. |
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| Suna | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 01:40 PM
Sitara!!!!!!!!!!! I thought we were pretty clear when we chatted for more than an hour yesterday. Obviously, H2O is pretty intoxicating and may fuzz up memory. I will have to remind myself to switch from beer to h2o! 1. I am NOT a gossiper leave alone a CGS but if you think I am, then lemme welcome u to the club as you are seen in sajha chautari much more often than myself therefore automatically branded as one. I believe I should even give my paley job to you :). Infact, people have told me to come off my throne and hand the crown over to you! What say you?? All my fans hhahaha, I would LOVE to retire so PLEASE STOP dragging my name here in public. UNLIKE Ms. SITARA who obviously loves publicity, I tend to shy away from the paparazzis! 2. The nick HIMALI that is in question here was used often by ME!! In fact, one of my suitors (ahem!) was complaining that he whispered little words of nothings meant only for my ears into yours. Therefore, I HAD to reclaim what had been mine :). You can always use HiMaLi....just a suggestion among millions I could suggest :). 3. And now comes your address, IF I did know your address, GOSH!! can you imagine how many more new fans I would gather just on this forum alone??? CHI CHI CHI kasto jhuto kura boleyko 25 jana nani ko ama bhayera. :) On second thoughts, would you please give it to me so I can send a few romeos your way instead of them being lost here wandering about their twinkling little star? HAI HAI |
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| Tripin | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 06:30 PM
Suna, This is wholly coarse and grubby deed that you're trying to trace Sitara’s real identity in Sajha. Are you insanely whack? Psychopath killer? Sniper? You don’t have any rights to invade in her personal life either cyber space or authentic place. This is completely inapt behavior that can’t be tolerated. What a yucky manner!! Why are you so much interested in sending Sitara some Romeos, who are wandering around and inquiring about her? It looks like you used to be the queen of those romantic Romeos. Now, you’ve become obsolete, so trying to come off your throne because you’re overzealous. Sitara has enough aptitude to earn her own publicity, which she has already achieved. She doesn’t have to overthrow you from your throne to rule Sajha. However, no sovereignty allowed in Sajha! I am neither Sitara’s fan nor your formidable foe. In fact, I don't know Sitara either, but I am impressed by her elloquent writing skills. It is just that I respect others' privacy, and I saw you marching into Sitara’s private property, so I couldn't endure your mudslinger act. Let them stay in their low profile!! What's goin on in the world today People fightin, feudin, lootin, it's okay Let it go, let it flow, let the good times roll:) |
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| Suna | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 07:22 PM
Tripin you be truly tripin! Had you ever thought this COULD have been all in jest? CHILL! |
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| nk | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 07:28 PM
Click on this. Maybe it is relevant http://www.nytimes.com/2002/10/23/dining/23GRAN.html |
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| ashu | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 07:39 PM
Sitara (aka Annapurna) Glad that you noted that the CIAA -- as that newspaper of record The Sinking Nepal has yet to make clear -- is also in the business of helping damsels in distress. Rest assured that your complaint has been duly noted in our "Suga File", and, in the name of truth, beauty and Nepal Aama, the issue will be thoroughly investigated with a Ken Starr-esque inquisition, conducted on this side of the Bagmati. Appropriate punishements will be meted out to those who have obviously caused you such severe emotional harm. Meanwhile, the CIAA recommends you to take this "dielog" from the movie Pulp Fiction to heart, to shore up your morale: "The path of the righteous [women] is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil [women]. Blessed is [she], who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for [she] is truly [her][sister's] keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my [sisters]. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| Suna | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 07:39 PM
NK: I truly think so! This is getting ludicrous!! |
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| slipknot | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 09:28 PM
Rumor is rife in the silent side of SajhaBus that Suna maliciously stripped Himali of her identity when she ransacked her lofty abode in the Himalayas. There were conflicting reports, however, regarding the incident with some eye-witnesses claiming that she just stripped to make Himali look away so that she could run away with the new identity. In a related news, having learned of this incident, the DC sniper is said to have been contemplating on an expansion of his snipering strategy to include name stripping in his arsenal. :) ----------------- Btw, I, the Slipknot, hereby declare that: I did not have any [affectional] relationship with that woman, Suna DrinkWhiskey. Peace :) |
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| SITARA | Posted
on 23-Oct-02 10:15 PM
Ashu Ji.... Very nice... hehe!!!! Damn you are smart hajur!!!!! ;) |
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| slipknot | Posted
on 24-Oct-02 12:17 AM
First Ammendment to the Declaration of Non-Alligegiance with Glittering Gold Suna, including typographical error corrections: I, the SlipKnot, hereby solemnly declare that: I did not [and do not] have any [affectionate or otherwise] relationship with that woman, Suna GutterGoldsky. :) Peace! |
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| slipknot | Posted
on 24-Oct-02 12:19 AM
Funny that I can't correct the typos! "Non-allegiance" |
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| Suna | Posted
on 24-Oct-02 09:07 AM
Slipknot: Traitor!! Bhanna chai mukha ley didi bhanney bhitri chai thulo TRAITOR niklyeu! TSK TSK! I believe radha had seen the right side of you and it was I who was disillusioned! Anyway, Guttermouth Mastersaab, I believe your janti towards Sitara's house like you have so proclaimed will NOT be going from my house. Bhai bhayera didi ko izzat rakhna ta kata kata, you jumped on a third class bandwagon which I would like to believe was created in jest. Talking about positive attitudes. ET TU BRUTE?? |
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| Gold Digger | Posted
on 24-Oct-02 09:17 AM
Shiva! Shiva! Where is M.P. when we need him? -"oohi" Gold Digger |
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| slipknot | Posted
on 24-Oct-02 11:30 AM
Suna dids: The wedding's off, thanks to you... :) Kina bhana na? I was to marry Himali, but now that you have that name, how can I commit incest even in my thoughts? Didi ko ijjyat ta rakhnai paryo, ajhai tyo pani khaskindai gairaheko bela. :) Tyasaile, no janti, no bhoj. And yes, Radha knows the right side of me, but I think the left side of my brain is where I function the most! :) Peace! |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 24-Oct-02 11:41 AM
"Ask Me Your Future......": Nepal To Go Republic The Hallai Halla Ko Desh Digest October 24 Trikaldarshi of the Rasputian fame from the cyber territory of Sajhapur was sent the janma kundali of a distant territory of Nepal over expedited bijulipatra, a reporter for The Hallai Halla Ko Desh Digest learned. He was known to be busily scribbling even as this paper went to press. But some glimpses were gleaned. "The situation will further deteriorate," he was heard fumbling, as he sleepwalked to the local 7-11. "There will be further polarization that will bring the six political parties closer to the Maoists. A compromise will be reached. The Maoists will renounce violence for the promise of a constituent assembly to draft a new constitution. Sadly the monarchy might be the casualty once that assembly takes shape." When asked if King G might pre-empt such a development by usurping all powers and go back to the year 2017 as per that kingdom's obscure calendar, Darshi declined to comment, for he kept walking. |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 24-Oct-02 12:05 PM
"Ask Me Your Future......": RPP And The Sadbhavana Going Their Own Way The Hallai Halla Ko Desh Digest October 24 Trikaldarshi, even after the paparazzi that had been following him had long left, kept walking, it has been reported. Reportedly, he also kept talking. "The two NCs and the UML will go one way, and the RPP and the Sadbhavana will go the other way," he was heard saying by the clerk at the 7-11, as he purchased a can of pepsi, as he continued to sleepwalk, or so it seemed to the bystanders. "This is their chance to grow, for if the NCs and the UML do not shrink, what relevance will they have once the dust settles down?" "They will join the Chand government and stay in power and wait until the Maoists calm down." "But will they calm down, the Maoists?" he was asked later. He did not respond. He, instead went to his study ko keep scribbling. He appeared to be in the middle of frenzied number-crunching. He was overheard talking of stars and planets. In other news, "RPP president Surya Bahadur Thapa warned that failure of the political parties to bring about a conciliatory approach with the King will have a disastrous consequence, which will push the country into the lap of absolute monarchy or the extreme left," as was reported by a valley daily. ""We all wanted Deuba removed as the Prime Minister and election postponed. Do you think things were quite constitutional upto that point and the drift began only after Chand was appointed as the Prime Minister!" Koirala was speechless and didn’t respond to Dr Lohani’s query." "Hridayesh Tripathi, General Secretary of NSP said that the political parties have no any differences on the appointment of Lokendra Bahadur Chand as the Prime Minister but they want the King to hand over the executive power to the Prime Minister who should form an all-party government after a political consultation with all the political parties of the dissolved House. "CPN-UML, RPP and NSP are positive in joining the all-party government if the executive power is handed over to the Prime Minister," Tripathi said. "We put this proposal in the all-party meeting today." ..... Tripathi, on the other, claimed that the political parties with dissent views must support the government if the Prime Minister with the executive power forms the all-party government. "I think all the political parties will join the government at that situation," Tripathi said, adding "There is no any point of increasing confrontation with the King."...He said that it is not the time to get engaged into the unworthy debate of constitutionality and unconstitutionality of the government since the Constitution has already been dead. "We have to focus on the resolution of the present crisis which is not possible by the reinstatement of the already dissolved House," Tripathi said. ........Speaking on the same vein, Khadga Prasad Oli, leader of CPN-UML said that the formation of all-party government by the Prime Minister with the executive power is only the solution of the current political and constitutional crisis." Details |
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| M.P. | Posted
on 25-Oct-02 08:26 PM
The Sinking Nepal Goes Public: Kathmandu, Oct 25 The Sinking Nepal. Due to an overwhelming response from the readers of the Sinking Nepal, the publication has decided to go public. Until today, the Sinking Nepal was limited to the small town of Sajhapur. The Sinking Nepal will now be publishing its weekly humor and sending it to all its subscribers through email. It will be only one article per week, sent on the body of the email. A subscriber’s email address will be used exclusively for the purpose of the publication and will not be provided to a third party without the subscriber’s consent. A subscriber can unsubscribe at his/her own will. Until now the publication relied completely on the characters from Sajhapur. Although the upcoming publications will use whole of Nepal as a framework, the scenario created so far remains the same (see details below). The publication will slowly switch from Sajhapur to Nepal. If you want to subscribe to the Sinking Nepal, please send a blank email with subject heading: “Brihat Angreji Sabdakosh” to thesinkingnepal@yahoo.com. If you are including any suggestions or comments, please use “anartha lagaaiyeko kabi” as the heading. Residents of Sajhapur can email MP through Sajha. Thank you, The Chief Editor The Sinking Nepal Kathmandu, Nepal. ______________________________________________ A Brief History of the Former Republic of Nepal and the Sinking Nepal: Oct 8, 2002: King Gyanendra of Nepal appointed Paramendra Bhagat, an erstwhile secretary general of Nepal Sadbhawana Party and a hard core republican, to the post of Prime Minister of Nepal. Earlier, Sher Bahadur Deuba was sacked from Premiership and his cabinet was dissolved. Evening Oct 8, 2002: The King, in a dramatic move, abolished monarchy, and declared Nepal a republic and himself the President. Oct 9, 2002: Paschim, a Harvard graduated, a prolific writer, reviewer and a political critic headed for Nepal to run from Gorkha constituency no-1 for the House of Representatives with Kalakatte Comb as the election symbol. Evening Oct 9, 2002: United Nations Commission for cure and rehab of Nepalese Journalists, UNCRHJ, in collaboration with the Sinking Nepal, published its research that stated that 95% of the journalists based in Kathmandu were insane. These journalists had blindly supported the King’s seizing of executive power earlier. Prime Minister Bhagat lambasted the ex-government for killing the only Sen (sane?) journalists earlier. On the same day, PM Bhagat and Biswo, the head of chhaayaa sarkaar at Sajhapur, expressed their suspicion that MP, the chief editor of this publication could be Paschim. In a reply message, MP charged Biswo and Bhagat of campaigning against Paschim and demanded that they be punished by the CIAA. At 4:21 PM the same day, Orion, one of the senior journalists at the Sinking Nepal published a news saying that PM Bhagat had been deposed again. Another journalist, SMR, claimed the news was authentic. At 9:24PM, both the journalists were fired by the Sinking Nepal for being “inept”. They were sent to Narayanhity for mental check up. Biruwa, another journalist, was promoted to the post of Director of Propaganda and Recruitment after he sold a large number of Angreji Brihat Sabdakosh at Sajhapur. At 10:59PM, Sitara, a dexterous writer published her first piece at the Sinking Nepal. At 11:13PM, Dilasha, a valued costumer of the Sinking Nepal, lamented over the fact that some prominent members of Sajhapur had been sidelined. At 11:17PM, Biruwa, the Director of Propaganda and Recruitment recommended that SMR be fired permanently. Oct 10, 2002: Prime Minister Bhagat addressed the nation at Khulamanch, Kathmandu. He appointed Oohi Ashu, another Harvard graduate, to the post of Chief of Commission for the Investigation of Abuse of Authority. He also outlined his vision for Nepal. He declared a not-so-jumbo cabinet with nineteen ministers. He also praised President Gyanendra for his magnanimity in declaring Nepal a republic. Maoist supreme leader Dr Bhattarai made the first public appearance; inaugurated a latrine in west Nepal as a friendly gesture. At 1:28PM, MP sent an open letter to PM Bhagat and Sajhabasis lamenting over proliferating personal animosity among the citizens. MP also charged the CIAA chief of using office hours for wife-search and PM Bhagat of excessively praising himself. At 5:40PM, some “sadayentrakaaris” headed by a personal named Jame Bonds tried to stop the publication of the Sinking Nepal. MP, in his reply, stated the Sinking Nepal would not seize unless such orders were received from the CIAA chief. This is how the Sinking Nepal has been moving on. Lately, most of the journalists from the publication were fired for misusing power. President Gyanendra is again a King. He later appointed Lokendra Bahadur Chanda, a pro-panchayeti, to the Premiership. This is where the next story will begin. For other details, on how the publication runs and on the latest developments in Nepal, please visit http://sajha.com/sajha/html/openthread.cfm?forum=2&ThreadID=7401&show=all . -MP |
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| nell | Posted
on 25-Oct-02 09:35 PM
MP le daami diyo...la la MP jawos jawos.. malai pani hire garne ho ki sinking nepal ma?? i am a journalist willing to make a mark on the company you hold...i am a young and hardworking journalist..i have a 3.5 GPA...majoring in journalism from UofM..i have experience in the field of journalism from the CNN....reported on the persian gulf war and have a reputation of being very punctual at work....i reported on the 9/11 attack from the fox 9 news and have been working there ever since.....hire garinash bhane i have a supari to kill you from underworld brotha.... so please..i am the son of mantri..and will hold you criminal if you dont hire me...this is a country of free power.. peace out MP....tero bakwaas dherai suniyo..aba mero bakwaas pani sun..... |
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| ashu | Posted
on 26-Oct-02 09:33 PM
Hey MP as in "Misunderstood Poet" Your letter was actually published in lat Friday's Nepali Times. :-) Check it out on Monday oohi ashu ktm,nepal |
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| Junkie | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 01:23 AM
Hmmm ... new lucrative jobs are created by "publishing [sajha's] weekly humor and sending it to all its subscribers through email" ...... Tara I protest ..... malai tyo email delivery job khoi ...... |
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| paramendra | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:15 AM
Ashu, what are you talking about? Which letter? Please provide a link. |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:34 AM
Paramendra Bhagat Appointed as the Interim Prime Minister . Did Paramenda resign? or was he kicked out as inept PM of Sajhapur? |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:34 AM
Paramendra was replaced by whom? |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:35 AM
San said its too much. Stop Paramendra, and resign from the thread. But, ..... |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:36 AM
Paramendra kept on posting despite San-king'S advice of possibility of crushing the Sajhapur platform. |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:37 AM
San declared all power on him, after 300 postings are in a thread. 12years of failure. Sajhaput does not belong Sajapurians. |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:38 AM
Constitutional crisis has arrived, after 300th postings. As we are approaching like Nov. 13th in Nepal. |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:39 AM
MadMax, the Maoist in Sajhapur will put a bomb very soon. Take advantage of chaos. |
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| Nixon | Posted
on 27-Oct-02 09:40 AM
San, you should take your decision as early as possible, before 300 posting limitation is reached. Otherwise, face consequences. |