| Username |
Post |
| Putali |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 08:21 AM
Hello all,
Can you please give me the name of the best Jewish immigration lawyer in NY or NJ, thanks.
Putali
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| Putali |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 08:24 AM
oops the original thread was as follows:
Hello all,
Whats up? I need some Nepali advice here(never seem to get enough of that).A cousin of mine is planning on getting married to his American girlfriend soon. Since he has a huge family, who obviously cant afford to come here, he wants to wed in Nepal. However, if the wedding does happen in Nepal it would be like sidelining the bride's party. From her side maybe only the parents would go all the way to Nepal. My cousin does not want to spend $$$ or chip in for 2 wedding parties, one here one there. Its a dilemma, b/c the bride's parents are very helpful and acoomodating here in the USA, and I ( as the wedding planner) does not wanna be rude to them.
What have your experiences been with inter racial marriage?
Also at the same time can you give me the name of the best Jewish lawyer...
Thanks again.
Putali
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| Putali |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 08:25 AM
Hi Guys,
Whats up? I need some Nepali advice . You see a cousin of mine is planning on getting married to his American girlfriend soon. Since he has a huge family, who obviously cant afford to come here, he wants to wed in Nepal. However, if the wedding does happen in Nepal it would be like sidelining the bride's party. From her side maybe only the parents would go all the way to Nepal. My cousin does not want to spend $$$ or chip in for 2 wedding parties, one here one there. Its a dilemma, b/c the bride's parents are very helpful and acoomodating here in the USA, and I ( as the wedding planner) does not wanna be rude to them.
What have your experiences been with inter racial marriage?
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| Putali |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 08:26 AM
Mafi chahanchu, I have no clue how to use this forum.
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 10:34 AM
It's not that you may not know how to use this forum, PUTALI jee--perhaps it's because those who use this forum may not have an answer to your particular dilemma. I do not either claim to have the right answer; however, right or wrong, I see no harm in sharing my piece of thoughts on this.
The fact that you are looking for a Jewish lawyer renders me to assume that your friend's girlfriend is a Jew too--I beg your pardon if my assumption is misplaced. If she is Jewish, then I'd assume the problem becomes harder to resolve because the Jewish people, like us Nepalis, are keenly aware of their family ties, and they relish their relationships with other family members as much as we do--she'd perhaps yearn to have a huge wedding with all of her relatives, like he may wish to have a similarly grandiosque wedding in Nepal.
Perhaps both families can agree to finance the wedding in each of their respective countries--this would ease the burden of financing for both families. However, if the groom-to-be is looking forward to finance the wedding himself, and is short on $$$ for this, then perhaps he can hold off on the wedding until his bank account seems ready to take action.
If the bride-to-be's family is not too keen on having all of their realatives at the wedding, then he can get married in Nepal, and throw a small reception here in the US afterwards--some of my friends have used this option before, and it works out fine. Or, he can even have the engagement ceromony here and have the wedding in Nepal, or vice versa.
Also, one of my friends who got married to an Amrican few years back, and whose family was not too appreciative of the fact that he was marrying a foreigner, and did not wish to have a grand wedding for him (as silly as it may sound, they wanted to hide it from the naataedaars re!), had a grand wedding here in the US, and went to Nepal to do a small TIKA-TAALO at a mandir.
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 10:36 AM
wah wah..Poonte moro stripper bhanya...rarmo lekhdo raicha ni..kya bat..
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 10:41 AM
Stripper ko khopadi ritto hunchha bhanthaneko ki ke ho? ki bhus bharya hunchha bhanthaaneko? nahepa hai strippers harulai! dekhaidinchha ahile feri kattu fukalera!!! :P
eheheh
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| sally |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 11:15 AM
You've said what the groom would like, and you've said you're the wedding planner, but what would the bride like?
Culturally, a wedding is viewed as the bride's day ... not her parents', not her husband's, but HER day. Yes, they all need to agree, and that may be an important piece of it for her, but if I were you (or the groom) I'd definitely get her opinion on it. Has she always fantasized about coming down the church aisle, or standing under the hoopah, with her white dress and veil? Or is she interested in Nepali culture and would like to be part of her husband's tradition? I'd say it's pretty crucial to factor that in.
Your cousin shouldn't worry about chipping in for two weddings. The cost of the wedding is traditionally the responsibility of the bride's family in the US. They undoubtedly wouldn't foot the bill for festivities in Nepal, except presumably their own airfare, but if he does it here, he's off the hook totally. (Except, again, for his family's airfare ... which I suppose could end up matching the whole darned wedding ...)
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| bathroomcoffee |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 11:26 AM
How many a times are we going to talk about the same Bullcrap ? People will never be able to get rid of their prejudices haven't you learnt that from the pages of human history. We as humans will always have some sort of a descrimination be it color, be it race, be it anything...We all know what we like and don't like. So ppl GET OVER IT.
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| joie de vivre |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 11:29 AM
My sister-in-law is Jewish too and she and my brother had the same problem your cousin's having. They eventually opted to be married at home by a friend who also happens to be a Rabbi and later had a small private but traditional wedding back home with just immediate family present. They topped both ceremonies off by hosting a reception for just family and close friends in both countries. Both set of parents travelled to the other country for the ceremonies.
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| sally |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 11:29 AM
Btw I don't think "inter racial" would be the right description. Most South Asians are not taken to be racially different from Caucasians.
Besides, race is a questionable concept at best, as is glaringly obvious to anyone who's thought about which "racial group" a Newar might belong to, or any other group that has come into being at the boundaries of several "racial" categories. Are Yemenis or southern Egyptians black or Arabic? What about, say, Ethiopian Jews (or even Ethiopians in general)? Are Semites or Arabs separate from Europeans? If so, what about Turks, or all those blond Syrians? Yadayada ... Yes, there are visually distinctive groups in the world, but "race," as a biological concept, just doesn't hold much water. There's supposed to be an interesting PBS show tonight, tomorrow and Saturday at 11 p.m. on that very subject.
Anyway, that's a long digression to say that what you mean is "intercultural." :-)
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| dee |
Posted
on 24-Apr-03 11:35 AM
Putali,
Perhaps this couple needs to talk more in depth about what kind of wedding(s) they want to have. No matter what the families say, a wedding or reception or some public acknowledgement of their union needs to happen in both places.
When my husband and I were married, it was a low frills, JP affair at my parents house. Only our immediate families and his roommates were there. Although the rest of my family logically understood we were married, some of them did not believe it was as legitimate as a Church wedding and a reception at which they got to eat prime rib.
Depending on the bride's religion, the ceremony and reception could be held at the same site. By postponing a honeymoon, not having favors or renting a town car instead of a limo, the cost can go down substantially. The couple could also pick a day that has free entertainment, for example, July 4th at a hall that overlooks a fireworks display. Poonte makes a good point about the bride's family sponsoring the wedding in the U.S. and the groom's family sponsoring the wedding in Nepal.
Expensive, yes. Peace in the family, priceless.
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| Putali |
Posted
on 29-Apr-03 12:09 PM
Hello everyone,
Thank you for all the great advice. The bride is not Jewish. I was looking for a Jewish lawyer because I heard they are the best immigration lawyers available. As for the party, we still have not decided yet.
Thank you all for your great advice.
Putali
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| mack |
Posted
on 29-Apr-03 10:27 PM
patuli,
lawyers of Chinese origin are the best ones for immigration business.
Sally,
I am confused Re: interracial/intercultural yadaydayada. can u please tell me some more about what's interracial and what's intercultural. When i grow up i wanted to marry someone of a different race (either white or black). So can u please tell me which one 'd be interracial and which one 'd be intercultural (me+black or me+white)?
me=nepali.
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