| Taxing_Under_influence |
Posted
on 02-May-03 11:19 PM
A terrible vision of the future...
THINGS THAT CHANGE WHEN YOU LEAVE UNIVERSITY:
1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
5. You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
6. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
7. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.
8. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
9. You don't go to Sainsburys with all your friends.
10. You have standing orders and direct debits.
11. The heating works in your house.
12. You pay the government thousands of $ every year on TAXES.
13. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
14. Jeans and a T-shirt no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
15. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
16. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
17. Washing up is not an annual ritual.
18. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
19. You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
20. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
21. You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
22. You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.
23. You "hate scrounging students".
24. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
25. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
26. You can't persuade your roommates to 'Drink till dawn'.
27. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
28. You always know where you are when you wake up.
29. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
30. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
31. A $3 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
32. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
33. You don't have rats living in your kitchen.
34. You have vacuumed.
35. 'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to
drink that much again'.
36. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.
37. You don't experiment with banned substances.
38. You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.
39. Lunchtime is not 'the morning'
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