| forget-me-not |
Posted
on 12-May-03 09:29 AM
It is Boys That Are Discriminated Against, Not Girls!
Are men not able to contribute as much as women? Are they not equally important?
In Nepal, it is the boys who are discriminated against, not girls. This statement often shocks people because it is contrary to anything they have generally heard. Perhaps I have to couch it differently by prefacing it with: Among certain sections of society in Nepal,&
Are we discriminating against girls when we groom them to take care of household chores, be courteous to guests, to take care of their belongings and their room, or be responsible for their younger siblings? The answer could be yes or no depending on what else these youngsters are getting. A reasonable amount of work at home capped with a non-discriminatory practice in all other essentials such as food, clothing, education, care and attention, makes girls grow into wholesome and well-rounded individuals. Boys, however, are a completely different story.
Whether boys have been born after three girls or more, or there were two or more boys before a girl, the expectations from them are different. They do not have to enter the kitchen or hold the broom; they are not expected to service guests, or to attend to the rest of the family. They are groomed to respect their elders, at least in the way they speak to them, but not with their younger siblings, particularly sisters. They can come home whenever they want to without having to answer to anyone about their whereabouts or their activities. Where are the boys hanging out? Do people in the family have a responsibility to know? Is this non-structured and expectation free parental attitude good for boys? Does it foster their self-esteem and give them life skills?
Another discriminatory practice vis-à-vis boys is that most counseling sessions are designed mostly for girls, whether the counseling be for normal adolescent growth or for sex education.
Just because the physical growth and subsequent change in body structure is not as apparent in boys as it is in girls does not mean that they are not undergoing a tremendous change. Their hormones are acting up, and because they are expected to be strong and in control, they often have a much more difficult time during adolescence. They are expected to be aggressive and macho, no matter how they feel deep down. Such conditions lead them to become inexpressive male figureheads and insensitive life partners in varying degrees.
In our society, focus on sex discrimination issues is skewed. Even NGOs and INGOs working with adult issues such as spouse abuse and separations limit their programme to women. How can battered, discriminated against women change the status quo at home if the counseling sessions do not include men? Are men always the ones to blame? Do we not know of any cases where women are the perpetrators? Are we trying to say that men are totally insensitive, that if there are cases where men drink and abuse their wives that they do not, at the core of their hearts, have love and compassion and the ability to change if proper guidance and support is provided? Why then do all service providers exclude men? How can we have a society focusing only on one half?
Girls who get an equal opportunity, the same quality education as boys, and perform small but significant chores at home, enjoy a balanced upbringing that develops their communication and inter-personal skills. They are more emotionally stable, more socially able, and this translates to solid academic performances. Thus, there is a high probability that these girls will leave boys far behind.
I feel that this discriminatory practice where women are made the focus of attention will tear our society to shreds. Boys and men have to be put to the same standards and tests, and given the same opportunities as girls if they are to survive and thrive into the future generations. They must be expected to help out with household chores, be sensitive to the needs of other family members as well as their peers, and, above all, to act as responsible adults who are team players in life.
Working in the kitchen develops scientific skills if boys learn to cut vegetables, their fine-motor coordination skills improve, and they are able to do fine work as they grow older. Asking them to greet and take care of guests makes them more sociable and considerate. Making them play with younger household members teaches them patience, and helps them appreciate little things in life. Their social and emotional foundations are made strong this way. They will be sensitive people who have no hang-ups and who can enjoy life and appreciate people.
Making rules that boys too have to let parents know where they have gone and not permitting them to disappear for hours without permission allows parents to know where they are, and in some ways keep tabs on what they are up to. The more boys are at home the greater chances are there that there are conversations, and the parents get to share the joys, excitements and sorrows of their sons life. Reasonable boundaries that are negotiated every so often give parents and their sons something to talk about. This improves communication within the family.
Adolescent boys have to have people looking out for them. They often find it difficult to express their ideas and opinions partly because they feel that people dont understand them (and this can be genuine), but mainly because they do not have anyone within the household and the larger family who talk to them, look out for them, and share with then their interests and concerns. Adolescent boys often go through a very difficult time.
Including men in the battered womens issues gives them a good sense of themselves. They feel that they are being trusted when included in conversations. They feel good about being asked to be partners in solving problems. True, the negotiations will take a longer period when both the parties- often very angry at each other- are brought together. But is there any other way to long-term solutions? How can the other half of humanity be ignored and discriminated against if we are to build our nation? Are men not able to contribute as much as women? Are they not equally important?
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| PREMPUJARI |
Posted
on 12-May-03 02:45 PM
[Bhanchan]
Logne manche bhayera [ni] Runu hunna re [hai!!]
[Tyasko khappar], marda ko chorole, [chainejo] aanshoo jharna hunna re....
Karan [ke hunu ni, tyo] hamro kilkile [cha ni] Sadhai Suk Suk Sukaai rahancha [re]
[ani ani tyo] gaha bhariyera aansho pokhi dincha re!!!
Mann sabai ko ustai ustai [hoina ra bhanya?]
Ke narr [ke] naari [ni], ko marda ko naamarda [re]....
Dukha laagda [chainejo], sabbai lai bijhaaune ni
Ani [salalala] thaahai napaai [ni], aanshoo chuhinye [re]....
[maile bhanya hoina, Cassette ma sunya -- Yogeshwor Amatya le bhanya!!!
(Sorry didn't read the article though :()))]
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| thepeacekeeper |
Posted
on 14-May-03 05:19 AM
Its no more than an eighth grade essay with a silly thesis supported by sillier arguments.
Girls who get an equal opportunity, the same quality education as boys, and perform small but significant chores at home, enjoy a balanced upbringing that develops their communication and inter-personal skills. They are more emotionally stable, more socially able, and this translates to solid academic performances. Thus, there is a high probability that these girls will leave boys far behind.
Working in the kitchen develops scientific skills if boys learn to cut vegetables, their fine-motor coordination skills improve, and they are able to do fine work as they grow older. Asking them to greet and take care of guests makes them more sociable and considerate. Making them play with younger household members teaches them patience, and helps them appreciate little things in life. Their social and emotional foundations are made strong this way. They will be sensitive people who have no hang-ups and who can enjoy life and appreciate people.
Ha Ha.
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