| oys_chill |
Posted
on 13-May-03 04:06 AM
I do not know myself when, where, how, why.....again?............sometimes you don't really have to reason things out. Surely it was plainly stupid on my part, but then without those spur of moments, how would you have memories?
YAh! that's what I thought when my phone rang. I really didn't want to go. I mean, party on the first day of the finals sounds ridiculous. I am not good in making excuses, but I tried though. Somewhere deep within me, I had a mixed feeling of guilt and anxiety. Maybe it was the voice that called, or maybe it was the hunger. Whatever it was, I couldn't help myself restraining. Running down the ghetto like a maniac in the rain, I reached the apartment unknown not knowing what to expect.
errr...typical parties. We all know what to expect. Within five minutes, I got bored as hell. When you have a "sojho" image, you try to maintain it...be it US or Nepal, especially in front of your classmates at least. Ice doesn't always break just like that. Being a "BIR GORKHE" I needed that jello shot to have that starting kick. Then you know the usual....The intoxicating blend of music, images, figures, booze all in a strange motley combined with my fear, anxiety, and subtle hope. A very subtle hope indeed and a silent prayer, hoping that the rebel inside me doesn't burp put anytime soon. Time is not in your hand and you are not with time for the punch has absolutely taken over you. Spewing out your frustrations in those moments is the easiest way to express yourself, except for the fact that you are not documented.
Indeed it is scary. Perhaps it is addiction, perhaps it is not, but if you have to resort to something to express yourself, life is outta control. OR maybe I am switching sides and looking at life from the perspective of a hedonist. Either way, studies seem so trivial at this point. I have found the hard way that education and studies have no correlation whatsoever. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and too much knowledge brainwashes you! Life is empty, empty like that vessel so if one can reject knowledge, why not fill it with something that you enjoy?
"btw, rakshi khaye pachi manche le truth bolcha re........oieeeeeee oieeeeeeee...asleep?"
Regardless, I have also found one valuable truth about life.....a peaceful sleep is not a mundane thing!
|
