| nabin |
Posted
on 18-Jun-01 08:11 AM
....
Another time, a gang of fresh desis had stopped by at our place where Bong had also made a pit stop. We discussed all pertinent topics ranging from applying for credit cards to snow and how long it stays on ground and of course, girls. Then Bong told the new students. "O, There was a cold babe last year and we had a few tough nights. We thought it would get better and we would get some sleep. We couldn't even go to work. The cold babe was around for a whole week."
"Maybe you should have tried out some foreplays or massage. Sometime women are cold and men have to stimulate them and they will be more responsive".
"No no, I was talking about cold babe, like heat babe that we have in summers". Bong explained.
Then it rained one day in Pittsburgh. It rains everyday in Pittsburgh. I was crawling along in my father's Oldsmobile, fighting with the fogging windshield when I spotted a human sponge, soaked to the bone. It was Bong. I gave him a ride. "Bong, you forgot your umbrella ?" "No, I don't have one. I have been meaning to buy one. One of these days". Soon, this became the joke. Everyone who met him would ask him if he bought his umbrella yet. No, he did not.
"Bong, are you going to wait till winter and snow ?"
"No, I think I will buy it day before tomorrow, mane kol, mane parson, day after tomorrow"
And he did, at the most expensive store, for twenty dollars. This quickly made the desi gossip circles. "Did you know Bong finally bought a chattha for twenty bucks?" "Nahin, I heard it was more like thirty bucks, that too on sale, I think it is a lady's umbrella" followed by more laughs.
On the fourth day, Bong lost his umbrella, unable to remember where in the world he left it. A few hours later, he gave up looking for it. It is okay to be drenched in the rain, he told me. After all, desis are more resistant to cold and rain. Pretty soon the 'Bong ka chattha' story was told and retold with great relish and every visitor to town or entering desi student was informed of it.
Another time, in one of those zillion desi pot luck dinners, guys sat around in a circle with beers and told jokes. It generated a really congenial atmosphere. Bong was having a time of his life, like most of us. I hadn't heard some of those jokes since my high school days. Then Bong spoke up. "Do you know Maarphee's Golden Rule ?" "No, Bong, tell us". "He who has gold, rules" said Bong, splitting himself laughing and when he laughed it was like a volley of machine gun fire. Everyone tried to see what was so funny about it. Soon another urban legend was born. Bong's Murphy's golden rule joke. Folks would ask him to tell the 'golden rule' joke repeatedly and he would willingly oblige, till one day he too caught on and felt that the reaction was not justified, considering it wasn't a bad joke, after all.
"Poor guy, you are all so mean, picking on him all the time" Mrs. Desi Student would say, in mock sympathy to the victim, while all along feeling quite proud of her own provider-husband and his smartness. "Yesterday I saw him in McDonald's. He looked funny trying to eat a Big Mac".
Then one day we just stopped seeing him around. "I am too busy bith research bork" he confessed. His roommates announced to the world that he had not done his laundry in several months. And then he moved to a one bedroom apartment and just disappeared. "Did you know Bong left town" someone told us "He got a job shob. He must be raising hell somewhere at this very minute. But there is a Bong junior who has joined Civil Engineering. His name is Arvind. Someone told him to open an account in the World Bank because they had better interest rates and he actually called them up. It was so funny. The other day Raju sent him a computer mail as if it was from one of the girls and he actually called up this girl. It was a riot and the other day ....."
Epilog: A few years later I happened to go to the Big Apple because a friend of mine had to do 'India shopping'. We had just entered a store in Jackson Heights with a name like 'Sabzi Mandi', which had a million VCRs, the typical Indian grocery store smell and of course, milling crowds haggling over things. I was browsing through a bunch of cassettes with generic titles like "Sitar Concert II" and "Dard bhare geet" when I looked and saw who else but Bong ! It was a big time deja vu !
"Hi Bong, Kamo nacho ? What in the world are you doing here ?" "Hi Romesh, I am just bisiting my sister-in-law. By the bay, meet my wife Sushmita". The extremely beautiful and hep looking woman by his side shook my hands and said a very cheery hello. Bong, marrying this woman ? Does she know that he would go around telling his Murphy's golden rule joke ? "Romesh, remember Maarphee's Golden rule ? Ha ha. Mita, I told you. We used to have a lot of fun. These days I am in the Silicon Bhalley. I started out teaching at Cal State. Now I work for a desi softbare company. But I might move out if they don't give me good stock purchase option. Don't tell anybody, but I might even go alone and do consulting. Bisit us sometime."
"Yes, you must visit us. We just built this new house with jacuzzi and all. You should visit the Bay area while it is still there. Tomi and I are really looking forward to having people around." said his wife, in chaste english, coyly clinging to his side. I was still trying to grasp the enormity of the situation. How did Bong transform ? Could it be that the moment he stepped out of the womb-like university environment and into the real world his personality changed for the better? After all, he had a tremendous native intelligence. Or could it be that his charming wife, bless whoever that arranged their marriage, has been micro-managing his every move smartly ? How could one figure this out ? Then, suddenly, Valleyboy Tomi, the new incarnation of Bong, turned around and asked me, "By the bay, Bhaat are YOU doing these days ?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright(R) Mahadevan Ramesh
|
