| Username |
Post |
| deep |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 09:22 AM
Gift
I Looked out from the window facing west. This window was my favorite place. I have spent almost a year standing by it and seeing thru. This window was the window to heaven. Yes it was.
Standing with a heart as of a drunkard, I kept on watching how decoration is going on in full swing atNeeta's place. Sudip, Neeta's younger brother, is fixing light bulbs over the terrace. Bunch of other people are putting up garlands of different flowers as if all the "U"s are gathered together hanging hand in hand and swinging softly. They must be singing happy wedding songs for her, Neeta.
I recognize a lot of her relatives too who seemed to be in a hurry of doing so many things. Few hours later, jantis will be there.
I am waiting Niraj to show up with a gift. The gift of my life. After all, I have to be there. And I must go. I am invited. I, in fact, got two invitation cards. One earlier and one later.
Mangalam bhagawan bisnu mangalam garudodhwaja--mangalam pundarikakshya
mangolaya tano hari. I picked up the card once again and read after the red Ganesh image "hamri aayshmati supurti sushree Neeta----chirinjivi shree ---". I wish and I wish--. Niraj is my best friend and will accompany me to the wedding. What should I give her? Niraj and I discussed many times. Often for hours. Then
I finally agreed with Niraj on the gift to her. I have given him the gift to wrap
it up and decorate as nicely as he could.
Deep! mom called on me. I took out my glasses and wiped to clear the blurriness then put them back on but the bluriness remained. I heard my mom calling again. "Hajoor" I answerd. I wondered to hear me back.
I felt as if I said that "hajoor" standing right in front of a running fan. "ke gardai chhas?"
She came down holding some stuff covered with red clothes. I didn't know what they were but before I could say anything my younger sister-Rimi- came and said, "la dai yattikai ke gariraisya". She looked at me.
Neeta was her best friend. I saw Rimi's eyes looked misty. Before I could say a word she left looking at me once again.
I looked at my watch and it read 15:39:02. Someone changed the music in wedding house. Now, dil deewana bin sajana ke manena--- was loud in the air. "Maine pyar kiya", I said to myself. Someone turned up the volume even more. "Why are you standing there like a statue? go get dressed. There are lot of things to do. I heard my father speak. I didn't look at him where he released his command from but I could tell he must be standing right behind me. I nodded and moved as if I am about to follow his order. He left saying "la--la--chhito". I have been to Neeta's house many times
in the past but just not today. Prakas, Neeta's elder brother was not all too happy with me lately but were still in talking terms. I saw Upsu (Upasana-Neeta's cousin-saanmuwa ki chhori) waving. She pointed her finger at me and waved again. I responded with a smile and waved back. She signalled me asking how I am.
I was not sure if the gift is appropriate. Perhaps not. A voice came from inside. Then a loudervoice defended the gift. I surrendered to the louder voice but the idea of gift was constantly in my mind.
Rimi who was gone to Neeta's place came straight back to me from the wedding house. Before she could speak I ask "ek cup chya banauna sakchhes?" She kpet on looking at me for few more seconds then left a peice of letter looking paper before me at the window.
Niraj came dressed up with my gift. I handed over the piece of paper to Niraj what my sister hadleft a minute ago. He hesitated a bit but I okeyed. Before he could open up that peice of paper, my sister walked back in with a cup of tea. She paused when she saw Niraj but I signalled her to come in and asked to give the cup to Niraj. She put the cup on the table, instead and left.
"Read but I don't want to hear" I said looking at him then turned around and faced the window once again and threw my eyes thru. Niraj left saying he will be back. "Dress up", he reminded. What should I wear? My eyes were seeing two sets of drama then. One that was already over and the other one that was going on right then. I thought is this wedding for real? I kept on thinking.
--
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| deep |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 09:23 AM
Niraj came back. I asked him what did he think about that piece of paper. He asked what peice of paper? then he said oh! that letter--she shouldn't have written all that. I know where it should go though. You can trust me deep. I won't let you down. Never. Rimi must also have heard that when she came in with a cup of tea for me.
I put on the clothes I liked the best. Then I noticed Niraj brought a neatly decorated
boxe of gift. "Ready?" I looked at him. "yes" he said then smiled a wicked smile. " I am not really sure if I should be giving this" I said. "Trust me on this". he repeated.
We were at the "bya ghar" now. As Janti came, a roar filled up the air and a chaos descended everywhere. Upsu came running and greeted me and Niraj. I saw sorrow taking over her eyes from joy. She knew me and Neeta well and was a witness of many accounts. "Where is Neeta?" I asked. She led us to her. "Deepdai.."I raised my hand signalling her to stop as we were walking.
On our way we were greeting many people. My heart was acting as if it is the Pashupati temple in shivaratri but I felt like I was standing right in front of Kaalbhairab.
Upsu led us to a room and said, you wait here and I will bring her in. Niraj was standing right by me. Neeta came with Upsu. She didn't look at me but knew I was standing close to her. Upsu and Niraj just stood there. Her head was still facing the floor. I wanted to say something but I couldn't. Tears rose from deep inside and welled up. Before I could stop few drops rolled down. I saw few drops falling from beyound her ghumto as well. People say, tears do not just rise in sadness. "hold on to your happy tears" I said but don't think she understood. I stretched my hand and Niraj gave me the gift to her. I gave her the gift with shaky hands but without touching her and said,"
Now this is yours from you to me to you". I am sure she heard that clear. She looked up. Our chained eyes locked. I saw innocent wet eyes. "Let's go". Niraj said. Upsu held my left hand and pressed a bit then she also took Nita's right hand. I took my hand off then turned back. "Deep" I didn't look back. My heart wrenched and overturned.
Then Niraj disappeared. I was walking back alone. I wanted to take back the gift.
Then as I was wandering around speaking and greeting many people
out of courtesy I saw a pair of pointed eyes of Nita's father focued at me. I diverted my look and found Niraj heading toward me. "Niraj, go back and get that gift back from her". He looked as if he didn't understand. Then I saw Nita coming to jagge assisted by Upsu and another girl.
"I really want that gift back" I said to Niraj again. "No use" he said in a firm voice.
"Where have you been earlier?" I asked. I went to handover the gift of his life to him. He pointed his eyes at the "dulha" guy in the mandap-jagge. "What?" I looked at him. "Yes", he seemed angry.
"What gift?" I asked him.
"That last one that came a while ago".
****
[please correct as you read, I just wrote and posted without any edit. I apologize for the english errors (there may be a lot) but the content shouldn't be modified :( ]
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| thaag |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 09:46 AM
(Nepathaya bata gana bistari bajeko sunincha)
Safal......Timro.....tyo....jindagi lie .........
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| deep |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 10:01 AM
(Nepathaya bata gana bistari bajeko sunincha)
Safal......Timro.....tyo....jindagi lie .........
Thaag, after reading the letter who knows ? may be we hear "aajai ra raati ke dekhe sapana mai mari gayeko----" nepathyama in dulha's ghar. ani yata nepathya ma "yasai gari bitai dinchhu ---"
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| thaag |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 10:11 AM
OHo maile bichar bhaneko ta!!
Usko ta bhagaune dau po rahichha , kasto nabujheko
mai murkha
He he
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 11:16 AM
ye deep dai,
ma ta ali confoosed! first letter uta baata aako hoina? ki rehearsal ho? [kapal kanaudai]
NIraj le gift ulto thau ma diyo ki k ho? kya ho kya ho...bihe bhoj nakha dherai bho..tyai bhayera hola ehehe!
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| deep |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 11:28 AM
Not just first letters, OYS, oota bata dherai letters aaka thiye. Yata bata pani nagaaka haina tara kuro ootako ma chha. Let me clarify, I (as the lead in the story) couldn't believe Nita was getting married. Few people knew about Nita and I. Niraj is one of them. He was more furious than me. So, he suggested I give all her letters of so-called love back to her as a wedding gift. Even at the wedding day, Nita sends yet another letter narrating the love story explaining her love to me and repeating in her wild mind that she is mine and just mine. this marriage just does not mean much to her... Well Niraj gave this letter, in a fancy envelope of course, which I didn't even read but Niraj did to Mr. to be husband who was sitting on the jagge (right after janti parsine ritual).
The rest is, as they say, history.
[Don't get confused with I and Deep in this story. This deep and that deep is not the same person].
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 02:42 PM
hhaha gotcha..ROGER!
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| forget-me-not |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 04:29 PM
great one...ke ho sajha ma khattara stories padhna pahincha ni these days...
Keep up the spirit..
I am kind of worried now:dherai din bhayo,
email nayayeko,
katai unko man badleyo ki??
dherai din bhayo phone ma kura nagareko
katai unle aarunai
bhetaine ki??
I am really worried now, please help me, katai deep dai lai jastai hune ta haina???
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| forget-me-not |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 04:35 PM
How about this song in this dukha ko ghadi:
Aanautha betha bhaye cha mero prem kahani
Na manaia ma sajau nai sakein,
na kasai lai sunau nai sakein
Aasu deein malai aafno nisani
Aanautha betha bhaye cha mero prem kahani
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| Deep |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 07:08 PM
forget me not,
nam matrai "forget me not" rakhera manchhe le samjhera basi rahalan bhanna sakinna---
Yasto pani hudo re chha jindagi ma kaile kaile
kasailai maya ganru euta bhoola gare maile
bhanne geet ma churlumma dubna paryo bhane ta ----ram ram ram!
Oys,
Roger! hain ta? Rogerko barema ni lekhnu chha. samjhe bhane.
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| Deep |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 07:10 PM
In fact, I didn't like the way I wrote this story. Tara ke garne? too late now.
Now, I have two more incidents to write about. "Roger" and "waving and smiling".
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| jira |
Posted
on 04-Jun-03 07:53 PM
dai, haina yo katha garho ho ki mailey nabujhya! Padhna chai ek choti matrai padhey tara rammo raam kyai bujhina. Enlighten me. Kaslay kaslai bhagawuna lako? Kasko ko sanga Lup parya? Kasko jaggey ma ko basya? Gift ke ho? Rato poko ma ke thyo ki pokkai thiyena? Aja buti khako din pani haina. Yaddhyapi, mailey ta bujhina. Bal Krishna sama ko chiso chulho bhanda ni chawukhanda lagyo yo chai.
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| DWI |
Posted
on 05-Jun-03 09:18 AM
Deep
Please don't tone down the complexity next time because many of us didn't get it. The complexity and not-so-subtle fact is what has made this story 'Great.'
I loved it, there definately was a change in your style, probably because it wasn't your true story (I thought it was). It wouldn't be worthwhile to read if you had made the end vivid, a certain amount of shading always helps, and makes people appreciate it. I'd love to read more on different subject but with the same blurry climax.
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| Deep |
Posted
on 05-Jun-03 10:14 AM
Jiradai,
ke nabujheko? I clarified the story even further while responding to Oys. I thought I made it more fluid than I intended to.Or, may be not.
DWI,
It certainly is not my story. I made that clear (please refer to the response to Oys).
I couldn't present the story the way I wanted to. I couldn't edit what I wrote (why? well that's another story). So, the story came out pretty weak. I wanted to invoke an obscure and "what-the-hell-is-this-story-all-about" thought among readers. But obviously, I just wasted the script (my thought).
I am going to write another one where I look back.
Again, the story is not mine but ----- (well, I guess I leave it at that).
Thank you all for reading .
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| OneGirl_123 |
Posted
on 05-Jun-03 10:55 AM
Deep thanx for clarifyin the story further! cuz i was confused just like oys was....but now everythin is cleared! great story!
1 question.......is Nita still married? cuz u kno she really loves "deep". Just curious
:)
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| DWI |
Posted
on 05-Jun-03 11:17 AM
Deep
I guess my comment was as vague as yours. I am applauding your style. I don't want to see any simplification in this story, it is good the way it is. I actually thought the whole esssence of the story was in the way presented, don't you dare edit it more. Good one, no really!! a good one. Would expect similar in the forthcomings.
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| Deep |
Posted
on 05-Jun-03 02:06 PM
OneGirl_123,
Glad that you got the story. Actually I was trying to make it more complicated but since I couldn't present the matter as well as I intended to, I felt like I should help Oys and others. [jiradai ko chulo ajhai chiso chha ki salkiyo kunni]
Nita is still married. What Niraj did was countered. How? well, that could be another interesting story. "deep" is nobody for her now. How could he be? Those days are gone.
:) Thanks.
DWI,
No I didn't find your comment vague. I got you the first time. I was glad to read "Please don't tone down the complexity next time ..." However, I was giving explanation on why did I make the story more fluid. Two points. first, because of edit problem I couldn't present the story as I intended to. So, I lost the charm in it. Second, since OYS was *kanfuzed*, I thought since the story is not standing the way I wanted to so what's there to lose in clarifying?
Please read the next story I wrote today "defeated victory" [ while working :)], if you can spare a few minutes on it.
Thanks.
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