| Username |
Post |
| ashu |
Posted
on 07-Jun-03 08:15 PM
Hi Sitara,
Bhedo's making fun of you and calling you names is distasteful by any standard.
There's no question about it.
But on the Net, in a community of peers like this, we can only expect "good manners" from others (whether they are known or unknown), but we cannot enforce behaviours that reflect those good manners.
That being the cold reality, let's look at your situation this way:
Let Bhedo say whatever the hell he wants.
Yes.
He can only say whetver the hell he wants up to, up a point after which his attacks and rantings will start to sound -- all the more -- boring and petty and spiteful, which they are right from the beginning.
A few Sajha folks who are hungry to believe any negative stuff about anyone (you know the type!), will be influenced by Bhedo's postings. But let's have faith. Thankfully, the majority of people here are reasonable folks who will see the cheap attacks for what they really are: cheap attacks and nothing more.
And so, does Bheodo's saying this and that reflect reality about you?
No.
Does his saying this and that about you lower opinions about you among those who like/respect/love/cherish you as a person and a friend and enjoy your postings?
No. [If it does, then, these people do NOT deserve to be your friends anyway!]
Does Bhedo have the power to define you, to mould you into this and that on the Net?
Yes, but ONLY if you allow him to do so by reacting defensively to his postings.
Otherwise, no.
Finally, as someone who has withstood countless FALSE attacks on the net with a broad smile and by being himself, I say this to you:
That you are personally attacked is actually a testament to how powerful and influential you have become on Sajha. And because of that power and inflence, you have to accept that some people out there are jealous and mad as hell about your exerting (positive) power through your postings.
Since they can't go head-to-head with you in an "expensive way" (i.e. by debates, discussions and kurakani that excites the mind), they can only afford the "cheap way" . . . hence the cheap attacks.
As a passage in Holy Bible (?) puts it: "Gentleness can only be expected from the strong; it's the weak who are cruel."
Sitara be strong and gentle, and keep walking across the Sajha landscape no matter how many bhedos, bhaakras, khasis and bokas come and go . . . come and go . . . and come and go.
With best wishes, and let positive energy flow on sajha.com
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 07-Jun-03 09:36 PM
SITARA,
We sajhites are behind your benevolent ideas. You must not be discouraged by few polluted minds. Please, continue to contribute in Sajha.
Bhunte
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 12:00 AM
Nobody knows better than Ashu what it feels like being senselessly attacked in cyber world by obsessive and mad anonymous posters. With his survival, his moral victory, his increased strength, impudence, fame and reputation at hand, he certainly has an advice or two to offer to the newer victims of what he went through in the past himself.
I appreciate him for coming forward to share his thoughts with Sitara and all of us in a new thread (how many threads are there already talking about this episode ?). And I particularly appreciate his clear criticism of Bhedos action right at the beginning (Compare that with a neutral pose of a few posters in other threads or the silence of the majority of the posters !)
I agree with Ashu that the best way to defend oneself from the senseless attackers is to refuse to acknowledge their power to hurt. I myself use it all the time. Just the other day, one fella named Ahura Mazada (possibly one regular poster jealous of either me or Sitara assuming a fake id just for that posting ) came to insult my thread on What is Ghazal. He must have disappointed to find that I did not give a rats ass to his abusive message. What I did instead was behaved normally and even offered a genuine tutorial on ghazal. What was the consequence ? That coward never showed up !
While there is no question about the power of ignoring to make the attackers powerless, a show of collective support for the victim has its own merits. Also, the ignore strategy works when things has not started or gone too far.
Meanwhile, I am tempted to do a less artful, but a call of my conscience, thing about Bhedojis deplorable behave with Sitara.
Before someone charges me taking side of Sitara for political or personal reasons, let me tell it myself that yes, I like Sitara, I love her intellect, beauty, guts, her poetry, humor, wit and flirt. I have never met a woman quite like her, I have read about them only in the books. And Bhedo has never impressed me with anything like that in my living memory. In fact I wasnt even that much aware of his presence until recently. However, this is not the reason I am going to condemn Bhedoji. I am going to condemn him for being shamelessly dishonest in front of everybody. And I also want reasonable posters to see how this dishonesty of him led to this disaster with Sitara.
Bhedoji attacked Sitara with abusive language for two days and then came back to his sense to realize how inappropriate he has behaved. Read his own words:
All right Nepe ji, I'm going to apologize to Sitara ji, as I have come to realize that I was out of line when I said what I said earlier. I should think before posting comments like that, and I hope to not get carried away in the future. I don't know what came over me yesterday and also, in some respect, today. My apology, however, only goes out to Sitara ji. Dhumbasse has constantly tried to belittle me, not only today, but also in the past. I'll keep my distance from him. That's all I can guarantee.
When Bhedoji apologized to Sitara acknowledging the inappropriateness of his behave, I had hoped it was genuine. So I appreciated his gesture, thanked him and called upon everybody to continue to contribute their diverse views and keep Sajha vibrant with appropriate discipline.
But I was wrong. Bhedojis demonstrated that his apology was fake and dishonest by going back to his old self.
Bhedoji justified his renewed attack to Sitara by finding Sitara mentioning about his *vicious* attack to her in her conversation with another fellow poster in a separate thread.
Now, here is a surprise for you Bhedo.
What is an apology ?
Apology is not a ticket to go on a second round of attack. It is an acknowledgement of the harm done. It is a moral commitment to help the victim heal the wounds. Any dumb knows that it takes time to heal the wound. So, a genuine apology comes with a burden of restrain for a period of time until the victim recovers from the wound. During this period of time, it is natural for victim to still have the memory of the wound. Thats why it is called the healing period to begin with.
But what did you do, Bhedo ? You just waited for a first excuse you can get to continue with the same thing for which you had apologized at the first place. Were your apology honest, you would have tolerated not one time but 20 times Sitara will repeat how she was hurt. Thats how you acknowledge the harm done. Thats how you fulfill the moral commitment attached to the apology.
We all know what you did. And the rest is history.
In my life, I have respected a lot of people who have completely different views than mine. My best friend from college whom I still adore was from a political party which was rival to the party I was associated. Difference in our views was never on our way to love each other, because we were brutally honest to each other. Honesty is everything, my friend.
I dont hate anger. Because I know its biochemical basis. I dont hate jealousy. Because I know its evolutionary basis. But dishonesty, I can not stand. Bhedo, you have just been dishonest, that too in front of all hundreds of Sajha visiters. Resolve that before attacking one of the best poster of Sajha.
|
| rmb |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 05:32 AM
Message Posted By Sitara
Why the chicken cross the road?
Bhedo: To change my sex and lure Poonte with my thongs
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| rmb |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 05:45 AM
Yo post kasko lagi ho maile bujhina sitara ra bhedo dubai jana gai sake post gardainan pheri.
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| Laughing Buddha |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 05:50 AM
Ha!ha!ha!
Bhedo=Niharika (wanted advice on thongs or panties)
Bhedo=Dallikanchi (Stripper)
Bhedo=El Paso
Bhedo=Smash18
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it lost its sense of humour and sense of context.
Ho Ho Ho!
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| rmb |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 05:59 AM
Ganaune goo lai katti kottaune ha? La thik cha, Bhedo psycho paryo. Ani ke?
Anybody who posts about this any more is STUPID.
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| Prem Charo |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 05:03 PM
I don't know why you guys are creating new thread in this matter ?? To provoke Bhedo? If you are thinking that you are supporting Sitara. That's wrong !! It provokes Bhedo and gives stress to Sitara.
I can't understand why people are trying to be judge here?? instead of leaving this matter alone. Damn !!
Prem Charo :)
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| Laughing Buddha |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 03:20 AM
Don't quit just 'cause the weather is bad!
I laugh at the rain!
Ha ha ha!
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| Master_Of_One_Liners |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 12:26 PM
Finally, as someone who has withstood countless FALSE attacks on the net with a broad smile and by being himself, I say this to you:
That you are personally attacked is actually a testament to how powerful and influential you have become on Sajha. And because of that power and inflence, you have to accept that some people out there are jealous and mad as hell about your exerting (positive) power through your postings.
Air-headed Ashu touting his power in sajha in the pretext of consoling desolate Sitara.
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| kiddo |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 12:49 PM
Wat is this? Yo naya manchey lai yastari swagat garney ho?
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