| Username |
Post |
| ??! |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 12:57 PM
Nepeji ko lesson bata inspiration payera... ... nepe jyu mai samarpit... ehehehe
cfhsf] klg lbg laTof] pklQ TolQs} eof]
eTs]sf] lau|]sf] sxf+ lyof]< ltdL To;} ;Gs]sL lyof}
7f]sL d'9f cfuf] aNYof] dfG5]df u'0f Tof] sxf+<
k|f0feGbf Kof/L lyof} t/ ltdL To;} /Gs]sL lyof}
xf+8fef+8f km'6] rs]{ efG;f eof] tdf;fsf]
cfOdfOsf] :jefj xf] ls ltdL To;} kmGs]sL lyof}
kmsfO km'NofO slt ug'{ af]nL arg aGb ef]
zfob /L; d/]sf] 5}g, ltdL To;} yGs]sL lyof}
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| ruck |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 01:43 PM
Ramro Cha.. ajhai jawos....
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| ??! |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 05:43 PM
ehehe, ruck ji, ramro lagyo re?
Uma lai ajhai dekhayeko chhaina... bhare ramro naramro thaha hola...
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| hyaterica |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 05:44 PM
Uma chahi ko parin?
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| ruck |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 05:50 PM
Hoina bhanya rachnakaarjui, uma lei ta man parai halchin ni.. haami shuvachintak haru ko pani ta feedback linu paryo ni ki kaso?
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| ??! |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 09:00 PM
hyatterica, uma chai gunaraj ko srimati... biodata hernu ni click garera...
ruck ji... yo man ko baha kasai lai nakaha bhanchhan.... tyo chat ko katha lekhya tesai ho ra? eeheheheheheh
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 10:08 PM
??! ji,
Thank you very much. Its my honor to have your ghazal dedicated to this tuchchha Nepe. I must tell I am quite impressed by your ghazal. With your rich jharro and aadhunik Nepali vocabulary that you have shown in your beautifully crafted stories elsewhere and your poetic compose, you are certainly going to produce more and more amazing ghazals. Please do keep up with the good work
Now, some technical kura. You have composed five well done shers. Now you will need at least one more sher to complete it as a ghazal. The first sher which is called Maqta should have both lines with rhyming word/s. And the final sher (called Matla) with your signature (nickname) in it. The rhyming words you have chosen is good in the sense that you can still find more words to make those additional shers. For example, khankeki, jhankeki, Tankeki, tankeki, dankeki etc are still available. As an illustation, I have composed those Maqta and Matla for your ghazal as follows. I hope you will like them.
First sher (Maqta)
r'/}r'/fdf cfO{, d]/f] PsfGtdf emGs]sL lyof}
s'/}s'/fdf cfO{, d]/f] cfuf]df bGs]sL lyof}}
}
Final sher (Matla)
;SsnL &/]zd& v'lDrGg, O{:qLsf] bf]if} xf]Og}
xh'/ a? cfkm} v'Dr]sL cfkm} tGs]sL lyof}}
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 10:12 PM
oops. tag gadbad bhayo
Here again..
r'/}r'/fdf cfO{, d]/f] PsfGtdf emGs]sL lyof}
s'/}s'/fdf cfO{, d]/f] cfuf]df bGs]sL lyof}}
}
===============================
;SsnL &/]zd& v'lDrGg, O{:qLsf] bf]if} xf]Og}
xh'/ a? cfkm} v'Dr]sL cfkm} tGs]sL lyof}
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| ??! |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 10:19 PM
Ehehe, khuskechha nepejyu.. first and second line ko rhyme milaune kura... tara asti nai ta tapainle 4 sher bhaye pachhi gajal hunchha bhannu bha'thyo haina ra?
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| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 08-Jun-03 10:33 PM
Guna Dai, Hajurr ko Ghazal padhna special *aankhaa* Chahincha ho? :-) Joking! I don't have nepali font downloaded so couldn't read it...eventhough I would have loved to read it. But I was wondering, I can read NepeJi's Ghazals even when they are typed in nepali font. Hm...! Never mind. I am sure it is good :-)!
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| Laughing Buddha |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 03:26 AM
:=D))
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 08:15 AM
...ani feri lasta ma aafno nam hunu parchha bhaneko haina? Ma chaai kassera Guna jee ko naam khojya khojai...felai parena :(
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| ??! |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 10:02 AM
Second Edition: (I am not sure if the picture uploads)
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| kiddo |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 12:54 PM
Wah wah wah. Qestion mark
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| ??! |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 02:56 PM
ke bho?
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| vivid |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 03:11 PM
Je bho, thikai bho!
Fakai fulyai katti garnu, boli bachan banda bho
Ma timrai Guna, baiguniko maatle tyesai fankeki thiyau!
:))
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| vivid |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 03:12 PM
fankeki = dankeki
heh! heh! Guna ji, kya ho yesto!
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 09:23 PM
??! ji,
Now you have a perfect ghazal. I am so happy. Kunai fellow Sajhaite ko ghazal padhne laamo samaya dekhi ko apurna dhoko aaja tapaainle purna garidinu bhayo. Dhanyabaad, badhaai ra anaginti shuvakaamana chha tapaai laai mero!
Ghazal srijanaa ko yo suruwaat ek nirbaadh, nirantar yatra banos !
One additional important part of ghazal, which you have done well, is its uniform metering (uniform length of all lines, measured better by the numbers of syllables than the letters). As PremPujari had talked about it in the other thread, it is a critical criteria for a lyrics. It would add one more restriction hence difficulty to composing ghazal. However, it is not as difficult as composing chhandobadda kabita. Besides this is exactly what makes ghazal the only poetry which is ruling in the South Asian music world
as a popular genre.
I am glad the new version of your ghazal respects the tradition of including poet's alias in the last sher. (One correction: The last sher is called 'Maqta' and the first sher is called 'Matla'. I said the opposite in earlier posting !). Once again, this is not a compulsory rule. However, it gives a distinct taste to the ghazal. Many a times, alias can be used in a creative way to produce a magical effect. Perhaps the most obvious advantage of including alias is that your ghazal gets stamped with your name whcih should discourage plagiarism.
Lau ta, once again congratulation on your grand entry to the world of ghazal. May you be able to give us hundreds of wonderful ghazals in coming days. Don't abandon the story writing too. They are getting more and more polished every time.
Shuva Ratri !
P.S. Perhaps we should stick to the correct spelling as g-h-a-z-a-l, because that's what is in international use.
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| Puru Subedi |
Posted
on 10-Jun-03 07:47 AM
Nepe ji,
Would you be interested in doing Ghazal Recitation/Workshop on this years Bhanu Jayanti in DC?
This year's Bhanu Jayanti is scheduled for Saturday, July 12 (All day picnic) at Leesylvenia State Park, Woodbridge,VA. Detail announcement will be sent via nepalhorizons.com.
Let me know you are available and interested.
Guna ji, your story has been published in INSIGHT. You can find the link to the online copy on the news section of Sajha. Thank you for your contribution and help.
All, please send your poems for Poetry Festival/Competition to be held in ANA Convention in Denver. The deadline is June 15th. Detail announcement is on the events section of Sajha.
-PS
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 10-Jun-03 08:47 AM
>Nepe ji,
>Would you be interested in doing Ghazal Recitation/Workshop on this
>years Bhanu Jayanti in DC?
Of course not. The way things are happening in Sajha these days, you never know about your security once some angry anonymous poster gets hold of your identity, address and personal beliefs.
I will rather keep hiding in anonymity.
However, I will certainly press my good friend DKji who you know personally and has already recited his works on some occasions in DC to attend the function.
Puruji, are you also going to organize 'samasya purti' competition like before ?
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| Puru Subedi |
Posted
on 10-Jun-03 09:04 AM
Traditionally, INLS organizes Samasya Purti" competition during Devkota Jayanti function in November so it is not planned for Bhanu Jayanti so far.
We are thinking of having someone do workshop on "Chhandabadha" Nepali Kavita. I will be talking to DKji for other plans so you might want to get in touch with him.
-PS
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 10-Jun-03 11:32 AM
Puruji,
Thank for correcting me. Sure I will be in touch with DKji. However, I may myself come to enjoy the function, albeit in disguise.
I have never tried chhanda myself except in high school class work. Baf re baf, it was so painful. I hardly managed to compose a single shlok.
So, I have a great respect for those who go through all those agony to keep the tradition of chhanda kabita alive. I was in awe to see our respected Hom Nath ji's chandobadda kabya in NepaliPost and now a fresh kabita in our own Sajha.
Some poster was asking about the particular chhanda used in this kabita. It would be nice if Hom Nath ji could post a brief introduction on chhanda in Kurakani for curious Sajha readers. Could you please convey this to HN ji ?
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| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 10-Jun-03 11:43 AM
Guna dai,
Ramrrro lagyo! Nex time pani sabaile padhna sakine gari post garnuhola hai plz :-). Thank u dai :-)!
Nepeji,
G_I brings good omens to u! Surprise (I think) awaits u in "I ran in the rain!" Topic! ;-)! :=D!
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