| Username |
Post |
| Deep |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 01:13 PM
Anup was shivering. "jworo aauchha ki ke ho?" he thought. He looked at his shaking hands. He remembered once an uncle from Chainpur- cousin of his father-visited them while they were living in a dera in Bhimsengola. Anup was still a young boy then. For some reason tyo uncle ko haaat thar thar kaami rahanthyo. He was surprised to see his uncle's hands shake that way. When he inquired why his hands shake the way they do even when mercury is steady at 80 degrees, his uncle said with worried smile, " Biralo marne ko haat kamchha." He didn't know his poor uncle was a murderer. Anup didn't ask how many cats did his uncle murder. That was many years ago.
It was about 8 o'clock. He tried to relax. "samachar aauna kati baki chha?" he asked to himself and looked at the watch hanging against the wall. His heart was beating much faster than usual. His wife came to the room. "kina yasari kamisya?" she asked. He didn't answer. She put her soft hand on his somewhat sweaty forehead. "hajoor lai ta jwaro aauna la ho ki ke ho?". He remained quiet. She went out of the room and he threw his eyes out to follow her. She is a gorgeous woman. As his friends used to say "arrange marriage bhaye pani Anup le swasni ta khatara bhetyo". He just couldn't believe how a man like Aakas could fall in love with Tripti. She was one of the worst looking woman he ever saw walking. But still, Aaakas fell in love with her and got married. Every time Aakas praised his wife, Anup felt for him. Anup knows his wife represents drop-dead beauty. He was lucky.
She came back with a blanket and put around him. Kissed in his forehead and went to the kitchen saying "hajoorlai aduwa halera ek cup chya lyaidinchhu". His head was blank. He just couldn't feel anything couldn't think anything. His mind was blocked. "Is this normal?" he asked to himself.
His wife came back with a steamy cup of tea. Anup was staring at the TV. His wife also sat with him sharing the blanket. He didn't feel much warmth. "You are awfully quiet today" she said looking at his eyes. He very briefly looked at her but said nothing. News was being read in the TV. His wife seemed bitter right after a news item "---gausala prahari chauki le aaja bhandarkhal bhitra ek agyat byakti ko laas fela pareko ra ukta mrita byaktiko hatya ati nirmamta purbak gariyeko janaeko chha---hatyara ko khoji tibra gati ma bhairaheko pani ukta prahari chauki le afno samachar ma ullekh gareko chha---" "Haine ke bhayeko achel? Manchhe marnu bhaneko ta kehi na kehi. Jahile pani kasaina kasaiko hatya bhayeko khabar sunnu parchha." Then she again looked at him and said, "hajoor pani dherai rati rati nahidne garsyos, hajoor raati dhila dhila aaisinchha---malai dar lagchha".
He couldn't sleep. How could he? He shouldn't even if he could. His wife was fast asleep putting half of her body over him. He kept on thinking looking at the ceiling. He was seeing a lot of things on that dark ceiling. He got up. Went to the servant quarter. It was just a quarter. No servant was there. Yastai raati ko ek bajeko hudo ho. Some stray dogs occasionally challenged the quietness of the neighborhood. He unlocked the door. Took out his long coat and came back up. He was walking like a cat. Waking his wife up was the last thing he wanted to do. He looked around. He felt like even the night has fallen asleep. Only those who have business waking up are awake. He knew.
He, as quietly as possible, entered the bedroom. She was still asleep. He just stood there by her.
Baisakh 16, he came back from Dadeldhura after a month long research for his NGO on water scarcity. "aaja jeth sorha" he said "Bholi bya gareko thiik tin barsa pugchha." Dadeldhura bata aaye dekhi Anup was having hard time adjusting. Na bhok, na tirkha, na nindra.
Uski srimati barbarako, Anup does not remember before. As he woke up that Baisakh 16 night to go the bathroom, he was surprised to hear his wife barbarako. He didn't get what she was saying. After a couple of days, as he was struggling to go back to sleep she started her sleeptalk. He kept on listening. It did not make any sense. Or did it? That was almost a month ago.
Now, as he was standing close to his wife, she started to barbarauna again. He bent a bit. Tried to listen clearly. Then he sent his right hand inside a deep pocket of his over coat. He quickly pull his hand out, it was bleeding. "careful!" he told to himself. The he carefully put his hands back in the pocket again. He again heard what he didn't want to hear. No. Never. "yelle malai baulaha parchha" Anup commented on the word he's been hearing for the most part of the past whole month His sands shook. Tried to calm him but eyes burnt. Right hand went out of control. Anup felt a warm fountain sprayed on his face. " Aakash is well, at least was in Bhandarkhal" Anup said, "would you like to go there too?" he asked to a bouncing body and kept on waiting for an answer.
[just a try].
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 09-Jun-03 01:30 PM
aaaaaaaanch!
k ho k ho...........instead of seeing that superman sci fi of matrix thrice this summer, come and read the chilling stories of deep and lekhak thrice a day :)
Poe effect, keats inspired, or is it Gorkhe mude bal.........awsome! next summer we'll be talking about "I know what deep and lekhak wrote last summer" ehehe.....
aroo ni jawos!
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| Lekhak |
Posted
on 10-Jun-03 05:00 AM
Deep
I always thought, Deep and I had a different style and genre. But you excelled equally well on the thriller part here. I have to confess, I cannot even come 100 yards close to your style of writing. Will keep on trying though.
Liked the story, loved it. This was the first thing I read this morning, how could I miss your piece. Thanks for the credit which I don't deserve.
If you don't mind, I will present my interpretation for those who couldn't chew the complexity. (I am sure many of us were able to). Spoiler folks! don't read beyond this if you haven't read the story yet:
Like his uncle killed a cat (truth or just bahana, you decide) and started shaking, Anup killed Akash in bhandarkhal...hence the shivering. Akash had an ugly wife..did he have any relationship with Anup's wife? only Deep knows or open to interpretation. It was an arrange marriage so anything is possible. Anup wife starts mumbling near the climax, what was she saying? It most probably is relevant to the motive of the final death, but may be not too.The Psycho, Anup, finally kills his own wife..probably uniting her with Akash who he thought had an ugly wife and deserved better (like his).
A great read, folks do go over.
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| Deep |
Posted
on 10-Jun-03 11:21 AM
Lekhak,
I am just a learner. I am trying to learn things from you. So, please go easy on "praise" but be generous enough on "encourage" part.
You are good and I am not alone in saying that.
Thanks.
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