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More Ghazals

   Dherai din bho timro jhaljhalko.. yo m 16-Jun-03 ??!
     Wah....Wah...Wah...Wah! Gunaraj Ji, 16-Jun-03 Bond-007
       Nice one, gunajee! just love it....... 16-Jun-03 gorato
         its simply great...really like to read s 16-Jun-03 lonely
           Dherai din bhayecha mero jhajhalko Tyo 16-Jun-03 GurL_Interrupted
             Bond, Goreto, Lonely, Girl_interupted, 16-Jun-03 ??!
               Atti ramro 16-Jun-03 jira
                 Timi sanga date ma gaa ko restaurant ma 16-Jun-03 KaLaNkIsThAn
                   jiraji, thanks.. tapainko chhanda na ban 16-Jun-03 ??!
                     Does this pass Nepe's acid test for Ghaz 17-Jun-03 noname
                       maile euta kura nabujheko.. ghazal sabai 17-Jun-03 isolated freak
                         maile euta kura nabujheko.. ghazal sabai 17-Jun-03 isolated freak
                           Noname wrote: Noname wrote: >Does this 18-Jun-03 Nepe
                             Mathi Shirbindu ma Noname dekhe, tala pa 18-Jun-03 noname
                               eheh, Noname ji.. hasaunu bho tapainle p 18-Jun-03 ??!
                                 Guna ji: Thanks to Nepe ji and you, I 18-Jun-03 SITARA


Username Post
??! Posted on 16-Jun-03 10:47 AM

Dherai din bho timro jhaljhalko..
yo man ma aauna chhodigo...
malai timile bhuli diyouki
sanchai timile maya maryou ki... Dherai din bho ...........................

lau ta........


Bond-007 Posted on 16-Jun-03 11:00 AM

Wah....Wah...Wah...Wah!

Gunaraj Ji,
Aru jawos!! It's always a pleasure to read your ghazals.
gorato Posted on 16-Jun-03 11:03 AM

Nice one, gunajee! just love it.......
lonely Posted on 16-Jun-03 12:05 PM

its simply great...really like to read some good stuff in nepali font...

hajur aani aru ni jawas,


hajur ko chora/chori(?) kasto cha ni??
GurL_Interrupted Posted on 16-Jun-03 01:12 PM

Dherai din bhayecha mero jhajhalko
Tyo man ma aauna chhodeko...
Maya yo mann le haina
Tyo mann le ho mareko!

Sowwie Uma bhauju ra Guna dai! That was not for Guna dai, that was for my LoverBoy :=D! :=D! So, plz. don't get mad hai :-)! :=D!

Hajurr ko lekhai ramro cha dai! Thank you for posting it in a way that made it possible for all of us to read it! Hope to read more!
??! Posted on 16-Jun-03 01:34 PM

Bond, Goreto, Lonely, Girl_interupted,

Sabailai Dhanyabad...man parayeko ma... achel katha lekhne phursad chhaina.. ke lekham ke lekhum hunchha, ani JPT.... eheheh
jira Posted on 16-Jun-03 01:39 PM

Atti ramro
KaLaNkIsThAn Posted on 16-Jun-03 01:39 PM

Timi sanga date ma gaa ko restaurant ma lusukkaa
Tyo battish danta dekhai timi haasyeko musukka
ani tyaspachi
San Miguel dherai bhayera Table mai nidaichu bhusukka

Guna Brooo (girl interrupted dautarni saabbni, Guna Dai lai Guna "Dai" nabhanana grrrr hehe)
aaaaaaaaanch!!
TYo anukaranatmak shabdha ko use dekhera malai ni JPT furyaa!!
Ehh.. Jaawosh ajhai, bhauju ko naam ma!! Haami Bhauju ko naam lai cut garera hamri taruni ko naam paste garera hamri lai pathamla, if you don't mind. (Don't tell this to bhauju, natra kucho le haani bakshiyela).

k4|4nk15th4n
??! Posted on 16-Jun-03 02:29 PM

jiraji, thanks.. tapainko chhanda na bandako artile padhda kamata ramailo lagdaina... suru ka 2-3 wota paddha samma ta kehi bujhindainatyo.. khas gari tyo amrican, french, english, german artitist, sporters ko barema...achel chain kurakani khole pachhi jira ko article surumai padna man lagchha...

ehehe, Kalankisthan bro... patham patham.. malai kehi aapatti chhaina.... Tesari kasai ko gharbar basne bhaye ajhai 10 wota lekhi dinchhu... lau
noname Posted on 17-Jun-03 06:01 AM

Does this pass Nepe's acid test for Ghazals?
I think, yes. Even if it does not, it's very touchy.

Asadhyai ramro!! Lekhdai garnu hola, hami padhdai garamla..!!
isolated freak Posted on 17-Jun-03 06:23 AM

maile euta kura nabujheko.. ghazal sabai romantic-tragedy (prem-biyoganta) hunu parcha ki khusi ko pani huncha?

guna dai ko gazal gazzab ko cha..
isolated freak Posted on 17-Jun-03 06:23 AM

maile euta kura nabujheko.. ghazal sabai romantic-tragedy (prem-biyoganta) hunu parcha ki khusi ko pani huncha?

guna dai ko gazal gazzab ko cha..
Nepe Posted on 18-Jun-03 03:20 PM

Noname wrote:
Noname wrote:
>Does this pass Nepe's acid test for Ghazals?
>I think, yes.

Noname ji, Thank you for giving me that status. I might know a thing or two about the technicality of ghazal. However, the highest test, let's say, the mass spectrometric test, is the actual reaction of the readers like you. Guna ji has passed that test excellently.

Guna ji has matstered the art of ghazal very well. The first two, 'Timi Tyasai Tankeki Thiyau' and 'Sutukka Timilai' were very good. Nevertheless, I sensed some verbal self conciousness in them. This latest one is different. Here kabi has overcome that conciousness and now he is playful with the words with visible poetic confidence.

I think one of the first few yards for a kabi to walk towards writing beautiful poems is to be comfortable with the words. A Kabi should love and play with them like his own children- comfortable, unafraid and careless yet with unquestionable trust . If he plays with them like with somebody else' children- careful, restricted, disciplined, unsure and so on, it will be reflected in poems. I often give example of late Hari Bhakta Katuwal as a poet belonging to the former category. His choices of the words, the way he put them in unconventional places is like being a father who would toss his child up in the air- with confidence, playfulness and love. Nobody except Katuwal could write 'Pokhiera gham ko jhulka bhari sangharai ma..' , '.. Mero bataas lai baadhne sugandha chhaina..'


I do not know the names many poetic tools. However, one can easily see Guna ji has a good mastery in them. Look at all the metaphor, simile and hyperbole he has used in this as well as previous ghazals. What is that tool called when a word carries two different meaning ? Look how Guna ji used the word 'phuleki' - to mean both upset and blossom.

One minor point again about the convention of adding poet's name in the samaapak shlok. If this holds, then the above ghazal will be taken as composed by Uma. In order not to allow this potential misunderstanding to happen, it is probably not a good idea to use someone's name in the final sher. If kabi wants to address a particular person, it is better to use shers other than the final one. The convention about the final sher is that usually Kabi addresses himself. And as I mentioned elsewhere, if the name has some meaning too, it is possible to use it for that meaning. Guna ji's extra alias 'Resham' has that potential.

I was too busy to post comments. But Guna ji, I am reading your ghazals with utmost interest. I hope to read more and more rich ghazals. Not many people are active in this genre. I think you are born for it. It very much looks like that way.
noname Posted on 18-Jun-03 03:38 PM

Mathi Shirbindu ma Noname dekhe, tala pani nonamji ko yatro furko jhundiyeko paye...la Chhyasne hunu bhayo Nepe jyu le bhaneko daraeko ta..hoina rahechha...:)
Nepe jyu, as always, I enjoyed your detailing.
??! Posted on 18-Jun-03 03:49 PM

eheh, Noname ji.. hasaunu bho tapainle pheri...

Nepeji, thanks for your detail information about ghazals in general and review of my ghazals in particular. It just came to happen that I didn't have time to write long stories these days.. and I thought why shouldn't I entertain visitors with short poems and ghazals instead, if they like them at all.... Even people don't like them, I am not doing any name calling that they should be angry about my writing. This encouraged me to drive my writing into a completely different area that I never thought of before. I did not know any technical information about ghazals before (was it you nonameji?) wrote some technical thing in a thread where I posted a muktak. How ignorant I was when I termed the thread as Guna's ghazal... Now I laugh on myself.... Its my pleasure to have such critical reviews that helps me to understand what I am doing, right or wrong.... popular writing or self-blabbering.

Thanks again,
Gunaraj....
SITARA Posted on 18-Jun-03 04:25 PM

Guna ji:

Thanks to Nepe ji and you, I have come to appreciate Nepali gazals. Oh how beautiful and yet playful are the words, strung together.... maannai harney!