| Username |
Post |
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:31 PM
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a
job. He promptly filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column
"Salary Expected" :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:31 PM
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to
fly to Amritsar?"
Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:31 PM
Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please!"
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:32 PM
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The
clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." The sardar
then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It
keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it!" The next day, he
walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss
sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with
you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask." The boss then
says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot
things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow,
what do you have in it?" The sardar replies, "Two cups
of coffee and a coke."
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:32 PM
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it
home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later
disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai "
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:32 PM
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you
bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to
Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being
made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him
killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks
its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again*
barefeet!"
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:33 PM
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands
tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
Why do Sardars work seven days a week
So u dont retrain them on Mondays!!!
They always forget the recipe.
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:33 PM
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional
white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
* * * * * *
Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at
you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:37 PM
Sardarji went to bank to take a form for a job.
he goes to fill that that form in delhi?
because instruction is there write in capital.
|
| Arnico |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 05:56 PM
This is offensive, discriminatory, and does not belong in kurakani.
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 06:29 PM
i don't give a rat a**..............
it ain't offensive.. its just a humor..
|
| jules |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 06:31 PM
Here we go again.
Read above....arni. It's jus a joke.
duhhh....!!!!.
;)
Jules
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 06:35 PM
another sardar.. who dont understand if its just a JOKE.
damn.. sardar ko kami nai choina.. jahan gaye pani bhetincha
yb
|
| Neural |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 09:44 PM
Do You Know GUYS,
why Sardarji keeps two glasses - one filled with water and another empty, inside the refrigerator?
guess,,, pls think,, ke hola?
..
....
.....
......
did u ?
ok, the answer is "Sardarji thinks that - kya pata raat ko pyaas lagvee saktee hein aur nahin vee. Agar lagey to vara huwa glass,,,, nahin lagey toh empty glass"
|
| krishman |
Posted
on 03-Jul-03 10:11 PM
Sardarji answers Hrithik Roshan ..........
kyon chalti hai pawan
because of evoporation
kyon jhoome hai gagan
because of earth's revolution
kyon machalta hai mann
because of excessive respiration
na tum janno na hum
but i just gave all the answers
kyon aati hai bahar
because of change in season
kyon lutata hai kaarar
becuase of mental tension
kyon hota hai pyaar
because of fatal attraction
na tum janno na hum
like i said these are all science phenomena
kyon gum hai har disha
because u have lost the sense of direction
kyon hota hai nasha
because of drug addiction .
.......XXX Buddhu Hrithik ROshan XXXXXXXXXXXXXX>..............
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 04-Jul-03 08:02 PM
Santa Singh ki suhaag raat pe patni boli: "Ae jee, mujhe to beta hi chaahiye". Sardar pareshaan. Lagaya daddy ko phone. "Papajee, enu ladka chahiye, kee karoon?" Papajee: "Bete, tusi pehle jaa ke Coca-cola pee le." Santa: "Coco-cola? Par kyon?" Papajee (Sings): "Jo chaho ho jaae, Coca-cola enjoy."
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 04-Jul-03 08:03 PM
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
How can you tell when a Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't a Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?"
What do Smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snow-man as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
|
| jules |
Posted
on 04-Jul-03 08:15 PM
LOl!!!
hehe!!
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 05-Jul-03 11:55 AM
A Muslim, A Madrasi and A Sardarji working in a company were really frustrated as everyday in their Tiffins the same things were packed. One day they decide that if the next day the same thing is there they would commit suicide. The next day when they open their tiffins they are depressed and the muslim jumps out the window and dies. /same thing is done by the madrasi and the sardarji. On the 13th day when their wives meet they discuss among them seleves why they did so. The Muslim's wife says if he would have told me not to give mutton i would have prepared some thing else, the madrasi says if once my hubby would have told me not to give idli i would have given him something else, why he had to commit suicide. The Sardarji's wife was a bit confused and surprised. On asking about his husband she replies," I didn't understand why sardarji committed suicide, he used to prepare his own tiffin everyday"......
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 05-Jul-03 11:57 AM
You can be sure it is a sardarji when somebody
Sends a fax with a stamp on it.
Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead,
Boards another bus in extreme hurry and upon seeing it is a 23C cut (\) service, promptly gets down thinking that
the bus route is cancelled.
Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", he turned around and went home.
Got locked in Furniture Shop and slept on the floor.
At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he put Sagittarius."
Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Studies for a blood test and fails.
Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.
Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
Was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"
tries to drown a fish.
If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change.
Thinks socialism means partying. over a cordless phone.
Invents a solar powered flashlight.
Sells the car for gas money.
Hears 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so he moves.
|
| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 06-Jul-03 09:01 AM
yahooooooooooooo yb hero number 3!
jaawosh ajhai jaawosh hehe.. khatara cha la.
Tyo krishnamaan ko hrithik kabita chai solid cha la.. hehe
'
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 06-Jul-03 09:01 AM
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke
baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
yb
|
| Poonte |
Posted
on 06-Jul-03 10:29 AM
Bicharaa haamraa sardar mitra haru le dekhe bhane yo...tyo fetaa le gardhan maa berera pipal ko rukh ma jhundyaulaan hai!
I don't think many of us would find it funny if such jokes were made about us Nepalis:(
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 06-Jul-03 02:40 PM
I wonder how different it would be to say:
Nyar( Newar) jokes only,
Bahun jokes only, Bhote jokes,
chink jokes, gooks jokes....
Poonte hajur, you beat me to it! :)
Kata bepatta hajur?
|
| Bhunte |
Posted
on 06-Jul-03 04:35 PM
Newacha ya kaita, BinLaden ya Fetta....ehehehhe
|
| Bhunte |
Posted
on 06-Jul-03 04:37 PM
translation:
newacha ya kaita, binladen ya fetta = newar ko langauti, binladen ko fetta
|
| goredai |
Posted
on 06-Jul-03 05:48 PM
If I was told these jokes in high school I would have laughed. Now I'm too sensitive about making racial jokes, specially due to living in US for so long.
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 06-Jul-03 08:27 PM
Well.. even in US>> they have BLOND jokes...
....................... us ma baseko ghamanda..
ani well they have jokes bout.. nepali being sojho bhanu ki.. sardar jasti bebakuf
here it goes
euta nepali india ma gayera.. ghar ko talla gandai thiyo.. tesai ma euta deshi oie ke gardai chas.. free ma talla ganchas.. ek talla ko 10 rs lagcha bhanera.. ani nepali batho hunu.. maile ta jamma 20 talla samma matrai gane.. bhanera desi lai 200 dincha.. ani aayera afno sathi haru lai guff hancha.. tyo salalai thage maile.. 40 wota gani sakeko thiyo.. jamma 20 bhanera.. 20 matrai paisa diye re..
TO ALL OF YA SENSITIVE PEOPLE OUT THERE>> use ya SO CALLED F***KING SENSE>> ITS JUST A BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY JOKE
yb
|
| Poonte |
Posted
on 07-Jul-03 07:13 AM
TarunRagat jyu,
Hernus na, tapaain jastai YOUNG hunda haamro pani BLOOD umlera taat-tato hunthyo, ani arulaai udhaune, jiskyaune, aruko jokes banaune, garthem...a lot of us must have gone through the same phase that you are going through right now. Tara, kunai apthyaro namannu hola...those of us who have been there also have a responsibility of reminding those who are going through it now of some draw backs of living in that phase irresponsibly. There are plenty of other fine, constructive aspects of being young which, I am sure, you are full of too--let's rejoice them, rather than protude the negativity of being young. :)
Kahile kaahin fyatta futta yesto jokes haru sundaa ta malai pani khitta haasna man laagchha kya (ke garne, ma pani manusya paren--khaaldo ma huttinchhu belaa-bakhataan), but when such jokes about other races become consistent, and an entire thread is dedicated to such negative stereotype of a certain race, I think we need to rethink our ways.
That's how it all starts: "it's just a joke!" A Responsible person would think of what can build onto it, and what it can become. Tesaile, najaane gaam ko baatai nasodham hola. ;)
|
| thaag |
Posted
on 07-Jul-03 07:32 AM
You know you are old when you don't find Sardar jokes funny
-dat's life
|
| Poonte |
Posted
on 07-Jul-03 07:43 AM
saano correction hai, thaag jyu...sankoch namannu hola:
You know you are old when you act responsible.
-dat's a better life
ehehehe :)
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 16-Jul-03 12:00 PM
A sardar from Delhi had an old car which had run for over a 1,00,000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a good price because of its excess mileage. He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help. The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the meter so that it shows only 30,000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days, the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar would have sold the car. A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only 30,000 kilometres."
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 16-Jul-03 12:04 PM
Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with a man ahead of him. "Ek Punjab Mail dena', demanded the man in front. He was given a ticket. Then came the turn of Banta Singh, "Ikk Punjab female dena" "What do you mean by Punjab female?" asked the clerk. "It is for my wife", replied Banta Singh.
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 16-Jul-03 12:04 PM
Once upon a time Santa Singh and Banta Singh were walking towards each other on a country road. Santa Singh was carrying a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Oye Sante" Banta drawled, "what's in the bag?" "Chickens," was the reply. Banta: "If I guess how many, can I have one?" Santa: "You can have both of them." Banta: "OK, let's see, Five?"
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 16-Jul-03 12:05 PM
Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done! ............ The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!"
|
| suva chintak |
Posted
on 16-Jul-03 12:25 PM
Did you guys hear the one about Balbir Sing?
Well, our Balbir was waiting at Heathrow airport to catch the AI flight back to Julundhar. Just then Elizabeth Tayor walked in to fly to LA and everybody rushed to meet her.
Sing also liked the idea of holding the hand of a nice mem shaib and went and shook her hand. "Hello, I am Elizabeth Taylor. You can call me Liz," she greeted him. Sing became very profuse at this gesture of intimacy and so resonded in kind:
"I am Balbir Sing, you can call me balls."
Injest
[PC people, please ignore this posting, it may contain racially explicit language]
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| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 16-Jul-03 09:35 PM
:-), Funny!
Hey Partna :-).
|
| yoUnGbLooDZ |
Posted
on 20-Jul-03 12:09 PM
Three convicts escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati, and one a Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.
About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the barn. The warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks."
The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant kicked the first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, "Bow-wow", so the assistant told the warden there was a dog in it. Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati in it. He went, "Meow", so the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it. Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, "Potatoes".
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 21-Jul-03 06:58 PM
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh.
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
Khalistan's national song?
Bande marte hum.
A female Khalistan terrorist?
Hard Kaur.
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 21-Jul-03 06:59 PM
Once a Sardarji went to the city of Mumbai for the first time to meet his father. His father had asked him to keep walking in the direction of the sunrise until he eventually reached his house. Since, the Sardarji was new to the city he decided to ask a passerby the direction in which the sun rose in Mumbai - east, west, north or south? The passerby who was also a Sardarji thought for some time and then said, "Main bhi is sheher mein naya aaya hoon!" ( I am also new in this city!)
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| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 21-Jul-03 09:04 PM
:-).
|
| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 21-Jul-03 09:34 PM
>>Lal Salam "Kaam-red" ;-). I went and bought myself some Jane/Xena outfits today ;-) >>and also some make up stuffs :=D! when is the check coming? I'm waiting >>impatiently :-)!
GI jane kaamred, (didn't like to mess up shifali's thread... hehe... hope YB won't mind)
You haven't got it yet? the check? I send it thru hulak the day you asked for it. Exactly $3.99 -- signed by kalankisthan (Amitabh Bachchan ko Lawarish movie ko pose ma), to GI jane kaamred. I even put it in the pahelo khaam, sealed the end with "bhaat" and laha chaap haaning our junglee chaap.
It was sent to
G I jane
c/o Iso Sarkaar ko seushi secretary
420 Lutera tole
Sajhapur, 420420-4204
jahttai go check it out!! ;)
|
| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 21-Jul-03 09:45 PM
Iso sarkar ko seusi secretary ko parnu bhayecha? Naam bhannus ta chittai, ma gayera wahalai sodhchu! Pakkai pani waha kaha nai cha hola.
Address herda ta thikai lagcha! :'-( Kaam-red, message haru ka-ka post garnu huncha, jungle bhari berries khojeko jastai khojeko khojeko garnu parcha :'-(. What if I take a different road, I will never-everrr get ur message :=D!
;-), we could have started a new thread on delted threads rather than messing up my partna's thread ;=D!
;-)! :=D!
Partna, maaf pau hajurr :-)!
|
| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 21-Jul-03 10:02 PM
LOL!!
YB doesn't mind...!!
GI Jane kaamred!
And shhhhh shhhhh!!
shhhhh!!
we are not supposed to post in one thread... remember we are hiding already?
you in disguise, I in disguise!! So we must post whereever we think is safe. shhhh!! Iso sarkaar's seusi secretary is also kaamred. She is also in disguise... shhh shhhh!! Kamreds are not supposed to reveal other kaamreds to other kaamreds.
And why would my kaamred wanna take the differnt road when the posting is made right here in this thread? grrrr... !! Okay you dance to the JLO's tune to keep yourself physically fit, but have you ever tried jigsaw puzzle to tune up your brain? kaamred kaamred kaamred!!! message is out there.. loud and clear in times new roman(?) font... 12 size...!!
How you gonna find bungur in the jungle? ;)
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| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 21-Jul-03 10:33 PM
Okiez, I don't think posting in all the threads present in sajhapur is a good idea coz everyone knows except the sajhabadis :=D! And 'bout sharpening my mind, Jigsaw puzzle doesn't move me off my feet like J'Lo & Mya's tune does :=D! But I have a huge stone ready where I am planning to sharpen my mind like u are sharpening a knife ;=D!
Hm...I think u have a wrong information, Iso sarkar ko seusi secretary sajhabadi haina teso bhayera nai tyo check gayab bho!
Hm..."How u gonna find bungur in the jungle?" Well wear my jane and xena clothes...then paint my face with the make up stuffs that I bought today...then play J'Lo's tune...and do some moves...the bungurrrs will come running! Btw, u be sitting on top of the tree with the net...as soon as they come on the main ground, throw the net and trap them! ;=D! How does that ai-dddeeeeeeeeeeea sound to u? :=D!
Newayz, Bye Kaam-red, lemme go and learn some of those moves, after all mesmerizing the bungurrs aint' an easy job ;=D!
Bye partna, take care! See you when everrr! or neverrr? ;=D J/K J/K ;=D! It's always good to see you :-)!
|
| marich |
Posted
on 22-Jul-03 10:22 AM
Can I be that Bangoor....Please!!
.that way I can see Sajhako XENA in her jungali outfit before she bares them all off, ofcourse to give it away...ooooooff, i mean meeting XENA in Jungle in her natural abode..
(I am panting here right now feverishly ),
hummm ..methinks..there would be nothing exhilarating as that, as ecstatic as wandering aimlessly around in a nude beach, i mean
Can I be that Bangoor....Pleeeeeeeeeeeease!!
|
| marich |
Posted
on 22-Jul-03 10:26 AM
hope did not offend anyone, it was all in good jest hai..jiskayeko matrai..kya
|
| Kalankisthan |
Posted
on 22-Jul-03 10:40 AM
marich hazurrr,
Okay you are Bangooor!!
Tyo pani sodhi rahanu parne ho ra?
You are BANGOOR la jaa ta... sajha ma jhilimilijhilla paarera taasnu paryo ki kyaa ho aba
Marich = Bangoor bhanera hehe...
(Okay I have seen the world, I have seen the world cup, but I have never seen a guy who is dyin' to become bangurrrr. Is there anyone who can call CNN? Interview dincha ni "a man who want's to be bangur" bhanera.. ehh)
Aru le Doctor banchu bhancha, Engineer banchu bhancha, hamro marich chai Ma ta bangoor banchu re hahahahaha!! Okay enufffff!!
Joke ni bro, feri mutu ma le la ni.
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 22-Jul-03 05:30 PM
Please DO NOT USE THIS THREAD FOR PERSONNAL MESSAGE. IT'S ONLY FOR SARDAR'S JOKE.. IF U HAVE ANY.. UR WELCOME ANYTIME TO POST IT..
HAHAHAHA
PARTNA.. M DOING GREAT.. HOW BOUT URSELF... NEWAYS I MA SEE YA AROUND HOI TA B YE BYE
U HAVE A GOOD ONE.....
YB
|
| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 23-Jul-03 01:40 AM
Marich dai,
Parkhinus, maile bhauju lai navandiye ke...Harr sabda quote garera nai fararra bhanidinchu. Marich dai le sajha ma sabbai ko agadi "malai boongoor banaideu" bhandai hunuhunthyo bhanera bhauju lai bhanidinchu ke re ma ta ani "there would be nothing exhilarating as that, as ecstatic as wandering aimlessly around in a nude beach' bhaneko pani bhanidinchu.
Parkhinus dai!
:=D!
Kaam-red,
Send me the check soon or else I'm sending my Tarzan to beat u up :=p ;=D! And +++ one more thing, burn all the danceable songs and send that also!
:-)!
Partna,
Jhan partna bhanera lukaunuhuncha hola bhaneko ta testo bhannu huncha, thikai cha. Audina hajurr ko gau ma farkera aba. Aja aai hale kyare, tettikai farkina mann lagena teso bhayera matra gan than garera jana lageko...bholi dekhi ta aankha uthayera pani herdina hajurr ko gau tira :=D!
Newayz, aba etro thau use gare pachi, euta sardar joke lekhera janchu...tara malai audaina :'-(. Sardarji bhanera lekheko, does that count? I used sardarji thrice in my sentences so please let me pass by this time. Next time, I won't tresspass :-).
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 25-Jul-03 08:28 AM
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions
- 'Answer in brief'
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 25-Jul-03 08:31 AM
A Sardarji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
The Sardarji goes back to the temple..................... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".
Lotto night comes and the Sardarji still has no luck!! Back to the temple..................
"My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Sardarji is confronted by the voice of Lord :
"SARDARJI, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST".
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| Himalayas |
Posted
on 25-Jul-03 08:40 AM
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked,
"Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
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| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 25-Jul-03 09:08 AM
Three Nepali Students and three Sardarji are travelling by train from Gorakhpur to Candhigarh. At the station, the three Sardarji each buy tickets and watch three Nepali buy only a single ticket.
"Abe oye Khote, how are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" one sardarji asks.
"Dekhte jaao bassaaoo! (watch and you'll see)", Nepali answers.
They all board the train. Sardars take their seats but all three Nepali cram into a restoom and close the door behind them.
Shorty after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says "ticket please".
The door opens slightly and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
Sardars saw this and agreed it was quite "chappar faad" idea.
Few days later, when the sardars were returning to Gorakhpur, they decide to copy the Nepali idea on the return trip and save money. So they get to the station, and they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the same three Nepali students are also returning the same day and they didn't buy ticket at all.
"Oye Puttar, how you going to travel without a ticket?" asks Sardar.
"Dekhte jaao baassaoo!!(watch and you'll see)", answers one of the Nepalis
When they board the train, the three Sardars jump and cram into the first restroom, and the three Nepali cram into another one nearby.
The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one Nepali leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the three Sardars are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please"!!
;)
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| Bal Matlab |
Posted
on 25-Jul-03 11:06 AM
funny one KK, was it self made or copied ??
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| OU812 |
Posted
on 25-Jul-03 12:13 PM
What do you call a Sardar Bi-Sexual?
Kabhi pussy kabhi bum... Hai Raaam!!!!!!!!
(now heading for ablution in ganga)
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| yoUnGbLooDZ |
Posted
on 26-Jul-03 09:37 PM
Sardars` Business There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business. After considerable discussion they finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugurated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed, but nobody turned up. WHY ? .......... B`coz there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed" After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipment`s and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days, a week but no car came to their garage. WHY ? B`coz their garage was on the first floor. After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY ? B`coz all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi!! All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldn`t move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldn`t budge. WHY ? B`coz two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.
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| yoUnGbLooDZ |
Posted
on 26-Jul-03 09:42 PM
Santa and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Patiyala to New Delhi. The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun game. Santa, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me fifty rupees, and vice versa."
Again, Santa declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me Rs. 50, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you Rs. 5000."
This catches Santa's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
Santa doesn't say a word, reaches into his purse, pulls out a Rs. 50 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn." Santa asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour,
he wakes Santa and hands him Rs. 5000. Santa thanks him and turns back to
get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs Santa and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, Santa reaches into his purse, hands the lawyer Rs. 50, and goes back to sleep. And you thought Sardars were dumb.
|
| KaleKrishna |
Posted
on 26-Jul-03 10:18 PM
Well some Sardars are dumb so jokes are about them, it is interesting to hear about some when majority are smart. Other comunities have reverse, so jokes on inteligence will hit the funny bone.
Here is one example:
In a village somewhere near Jhalandhar, there used to be a Kid (of course Sardar's). He was popular in the village and around for his stupidity. Pepole would make fun of him, they would offer him a charana (25 paisa coin) which is smaller than ten paisa coin. The kid would always take the ten paisa coin and everyone would just laugh at it.
One day a curious visitor to the village took the kid aside and explained him the difference in value bewteen the two coins. To the amazement of the visitor the kid replied:
Kya Mainu apne Gadha Samjha, if I take the charana the game will end here foreever, and that will rob me of my easy ten paisa earning opportunity.
Later a trip to Grudashpur, someone told me that small kid from Jhalandhar grew up as Santa Singh as mentioned by Youngbloodz
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| Saddy |
Posted
on 28-Jul-03 12:42 AM
:-))
A sardar kid beaten on the ass by his teacher, goes home, looks at his back n the mirror and says: "Saale ne maar maar ke doh tukde kar diya!!"
U know sardar men r dumb but their women are quite smart.. here is an example..
Jaspal singh to his wife pretty on wedding night-"Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?. she replies "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!'
|
| babaal |
Posted
on 30-Jul-03 04:50 PM
Okay, got this in my email today:
In Too Deep!
>There was a couple, Banta and Preeto, going at it for the first time,
>and they were going at it for a while when suddenly Banta asks Preeto to
>open her legs a little wider.
>She does and they continue.
>A few minutes go by and Banta asks her again, "Open your legs a little
>wider".
>Preeto does, then he asks again, "a little wider hun".
>Preeto starts getting pissed off but she does it. Till finally he asks
>again, "Can you open them just a little wider?"
>So she finally yells, "What are you trying to do get your balls in too?"
>Banta says, "No, I'm trying to get them out."
>
>
> Unstoppable!
>Santa walks into a bar and sees his friend Banta slumped over the bar.
>He walks over and asks Banta what's wrong.
>"Well," replies Banta, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I
>wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
>"Yes," replies Santa with a laugh.
>"Well," says Banta, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage
>to ask her out, and she agreed."
>"That's great!" says Santa, "When are you going out?"
>"I went to meet her this evening," continues Banta, "but I was worried
>I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to
>my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."
>"That's sensible" says Santa.
>"So I get to her door," says Banta, "and I rang her doorbell. She
>answered in the sheerest negligee and..."
>"And what happened then?" Santa asked.
>Banta slumps back over the bar again and said, "I kicked her in the
>face."
>
>
> Little cowboy
>A little boy walked into an ice cream parlour dressed up like a cowboy.
>He was wearing chaps, a hat and toy guns.
>The girl working behind the counter asks, "What can I get you?"
>"I wanna hot fudge sundae" states the little cowboy.
>"You want whipped cream on that?" she askes.
>"Yeah" says the little cowboy.
>"How about a cherry?"
>"Sure!" He replies.
>She now asks, "Do you want crushed nuts?"
>Pulling his two little guns the little cowboy blurts, "You want your
>tits blown off!!"
>
>
> Adult Visuals
>Use-d-less Husbands! Sealed with a stamp!
> Idea no. 55, adopted
>by Smart wives club, how to get best of your useless husbands.
>
> Things go wrong as
>they sometimes will, grab your stamp and stick the bill....
|
| lonely |
Posted
on 30-Jul-03 05:24 PM
Sardar ji was most of the time talking with his friend, a girl, whom he thought that was in love with him. But he wasn't so sure. One day he proposed his friend, and said " I love you"
Apparantly the girl never liked him as his bf, was mad at him and said "go to hell".
To this Sardar ji asked "will you be there?"
|
| kalankisthan |
Posted
on 30-Jul-03 10:36 PM
Okay! Here is one!!
One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteeth floor of the building when a man came running into his office and shouted --
"SANTA SING PRAAJI, your daughter Pooonnoo just died in an accident".
Sardaar ji panicked.
He looked at his right, he looked at his left, not knowing what to do, grief striken sardarji jumped from his office window.
As he fell, he suddenly remembered he didn't have a daughter named Pooonnooo.
when he was near the fifth floor, he realized, saala, he is not even married.
When he was about to hit the ground, he realized, saaala, his name wasn't even Santa Singh.. eh.. and then Bang!!! ;)
|
| Neural |
Posted
on 30-Jul-03 10:44 PM
hahahaaah KK...gr8 one
|
| kalankisthan |
Posted
on 30-Jul-03 11:04 PM
Okay this is really hilarious (to me)!!!
_____________________________
Okay, Sardarji, who else, our own Santa Praaji and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from chandhigarh to Kathmandu hai. The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun game. Santa Praaji ko dimaag kharab, he just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window so that he can take a nap. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't answer, you give me 50 bucks and vice versa" says the lawyer.
Santa gives baal matlab about $50 and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer gets agitated, and says "Okay Praaji, if you don't know the answer you pay me 50 bucks, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you 5 grand.
5000? oho!! this catches Sardarji's attention, and he wakes up, agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the question:
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
Sardarji chup-chap, he can't think of anything. So without saying a word, he pulls out 50 bucks from his wallet and hands it to the lawyer.
"okay, now it's your turn" says lawyer.
Santa goes: " What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back with four legs??", sardar goes back to sleep.
Lawyer ko dimaag kharab. Puzzled, he takes out the laptop and searches for the answer everywhere in the Internet... No answer. He calls his friends, he calls his clients, he calls libraries, bookstore, his boss, his coworker ... no answer.
After an hour or so, he wakes up Santa and hands him 5 grand.
Santa thanks him and goes back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, miffed, wakes up Santa again and asks for the answer "whats the answer?"
Without a word, Santa reaches into his purse, hands the lawyer 50 bucks and goes back to sleep. ;)
|
| phateko_kattu |
Posted
on 31-Jul-03 02:31 AM
Santa Singh passing by on a road, was invited by his friend Banta Singh to play chess.
Santa : 5 minute ruk jaa yaar. Main apne Sports Shoes pehan kar aata hun.
|
| phateko_kattu |
Posted
on 31-Jul-03 08:29 PM
Santa Singh was approached by a Chinese unmarried couplewho accidently had illegitimate twins without getting married. Guess what he named them..joe hua, so hua.
|
| yoUnGbLooDZ |
Posted
on 01-Aug-03 09:08 AM
A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when they finally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to the surd's window.
"Goodafternoon, sir."
"Good afternoon, any problems?"
"No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half an hour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single traffic violation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of our new "Solid Driving Awareness Program", I would like to present you with this check for $30,000.00."
The surd lets out a big sigh of relief:"Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license."
Awkward silence, then the surd's wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listen to him, officer. He always talks nonsense when he has been drinking."
Surd's Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the backseat, "Aye aye aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?"
At this time the surd's trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the border yet?"
|
| yoUnGbLooDZ |
Posted
on 01-Aug-03 09:08 AM
Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last sardar who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don't make the last payment on GRANDMA'S FUNERAL, she will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetary. Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an uncle or an aunty.
Your Uncle Jatinder fell into a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two were in the back. the driver got out- he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two friends drowned as the couldn' get the gate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love, Mom
|
| phateko_kattu |
Posted
on 02-Aug-03 02:07 AM
haha that was funny .
ONE MORE
Santa Singh was running after fleeing bus. After catching up, he
managed to climb up with difficulty. Breathing heavily, he asked the driver, "Kyon ji. Yeh bus kya teri maa lagti hai?"
Driver said, "Nahi."
"Toh bus kya teri behen lagti hai?"
Driver looked surprised and said, "Nahi."
Santa Singh ground his teeth and asked the driver, "Agar yeh bus teri maa nahi lagti, aur behen nahi lagti, to phir chadhne kyo nahi deta?"
|
| yoUnGbLooDZ |
Posted
on 03-Aug-03 09:49 PM
a sardarji fall in love with this hottie frm his hood.. he was too afraid to tell his parents bout that.. but since the chick insist him to go and talk with his parents for their marriage.. (below is the conversation between his father(f) and son(s)
f- wuts the matter son
s- dad! (pause).... i m in love
f- oye chak de fatte... whose that gurl..
the son give him lil info and family background of the gurl
f- furiously! NO YOU CANNOT MARRIED THAT GURl
s- dad but i love her dearly.. i wanna marry her
f- ullu de patte.. you can't
s- dad if u dont' give meh permission to marry with her. i ll jump off the 20 story building and kill myself
f- ullu de patte.. dont u know.. the highest building in punjab is 10-story.
s- well then i ll jump off the 10-sotry building twice
|
| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 06-Aug-03 12:06 PM
An old sardarni lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the sardarni, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The sardarni looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
|
