| hehe |
Posted
on 07-Jul-03 04:27 AM
I am posting this joke which was forwarded to me by a SriLankan friend of mine. After reading Sardar's jokes in another thread and being aware of the debate about racism there, I would like to clarify 'no offense intended'.
Our famous Udurawana was once attending a conference in London. He
> > was
> > > >flying for the first time. Here are some incidents happened during
> > that
> > > >trip. ( There are some new ones ! )
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >GETTING ON
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >At Ratmalana airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to
> > board
> > > >the plane.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted " Oh , I lost my
> > > >balance ! " and the moving got slowed down a bit.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Udurawana was at the bottom of the steps anxiously waiting to get
> > in to
> > > >the plane for the first time and he shouted, " Dosen't matter you
> > fool,
> > > >I have enough coins in my pocket - I'll give you some later! "
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >EMBARCATION CARD
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >When it was closer to London,Passergers were given the embarcation
> > card
> > > >to fill.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Udurawana started filling. Full Name : Heen Banda Udurawana
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Sex : Ticked the Female Box ......and wrote below :
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Unlike these foreigners, we always have sex with females !
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Getting off
> > > >Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow.
> > > >Udurawana was excited and anxious to get off.
> > > >So he went to the door before anyone, and prepared to jump down.
> > > >"Wait sir, Wait" cried an air hostess.
> > > >"75 Kilograms" replied Udurawana and jumped off the plane !
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Hurt
> > > >Seeing Udurawana jump off the plane, an airport worker came running
> > to
> > > >his aid. "Sir, Are you hurt ? ", he asked, helping Udurawanna to
> > stand
> > > >up.
> > > >"No, I am not Hurt. I am Udurawana" he replied.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Hospital
> > > >After his jump from the plane, Udurawana was taken to a doctor to
> > be
> > > >treated for minor injuries. While awaiting his turn for treatment,
> > > >Udurawana smiled with an old Englishman sitting next to him.
> > > >"Hello" said the Englishman " I'm suffering from Influenza"
> > > >Hello" replied Udurawana. " I'm Udurawana from Sri Lanka"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Conference proceedings 1
> > > >Fortunately, the injuries were not serious and Udurawana was able
> > to
> > > >participate in the conference.
> > > >The Chairperson said " Mr. Udurawana from Sri Lanka will now
> > address you
> > > >!
> > > >Udurawana rose from his seat, and said:
> > > >Udurawana Walawwa
> > > >No. 29, Ranawana Road, Katugastota
> > > >Kandy,
> > > >Sri Lanka.
> > > >
> > > >Conference proceedings-2
> > > >When Udurawana announced his postal address to the audience, his
> > > >Secretary
> > > >came for assistance.
> > > >That is not what you are supposed to do, Sir", he said, giving him
> > a
> > > >five-page written-speech. "You are supposed to speak to them.
> > > >"Please read this speech to them!"
> > > >Udurawana started reading aloud. Other than for a few mistakes in
> > > >pronouncing, things were okay for a few minutes. Then, suddenly,
> > > >Udurawana
> > > >shouted: " Pattong!"
> > > >The audience got a bit excited, but Udurawana continued to read as
> > if
> > > >nothing happened. After another few minutes, another loud
> > "Pattong!" was
> > > >heard.
> > > >Udurawana's secretary wanted to find out the reason for this, so he
> > > >carefully followed the written speech. And he found that.....
> > > >UDURAWANA WAS READING THE 'P.T.O.' ON THE PAGE FOOTER, AS PATTONG!
> > > >
> > > >Coke!
> > > >During the conference lunch break,Udurawana dropped in at a
> > restaurant
> > > >with an English friend.
> > > >The friend ordered a Fanta and our Udurawana ordered a Coke.
> > > >The Suddah friend sipped the Fanta and said, "Aaah.....
> > Fantastic...."
> > > >Our friend Udurawana sipped the Coke and yelled,
> > > >"Aaaaaaah..... cockastic...."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Tennis
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Udurawana went to play tennis with another delegate. He was playing
> > > >after some time and most of his shots ended up hitting the net.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >The opponent shouted " hay mate, your balls are too low ! "
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Udurawana replied " Don't you know these Sri Lankan underwears !,
> > must
> > > >go to Harrods and buy some good ones ! "
> > > >
> > > >AT THE BAR
> > > >It was chilly day and as he wanted to warm himself up, he went to a
> > PUB.
> > > >He saw two Englishmen sitting near the counter and joined them.
> > > >The first Englishmen said to the bar man "JHONNY WALKER, single"
> > > >The Bar man served him.
> > > >The second Englishmen said "JACK DANIEL, single".
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >The Bar man served him too.
> > > >Now it was Udurawana's turn and he said: " HEEN BANDA UDURAWANA,
> > > >MARRIED" !!!
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