| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 12-Jul-03 05:57 PM
Lost in time
The other day I was sitting in the dining room trying to feed Mary, a senior living in a nursing home. Having been afflicted w/ parkinsons and dementia, her hands and mouth are at work constantly. Sometimes, it is hard to get what she is trying to say. She replies to everyone who says something, does not matter if it is directed to her or someone else. At the sound of a voice, she has to reply. Sometimes, I sit down and think, aww how cute is that :-). While at other times at the end of the hard day, when all you seek for is some quiet moment it gets annoying. But I move on...
Trying to feed her is not an easy task but she is not a difficult case compared to other seniors, who would refuse to open their mouth for me. So, everytime I sit down to feed her or any other reisdennts, I peek around in the dining room. It is an interesting scenario. You can see some talking, some eating, some constantly shaking and some just sitting still -- expressionless.
As I wondered my eyes around the room to capture the moment, I saw miss molly (senior resident) sitting beside mary sitting still, which was bit unusual. So, I removed the coverings off her food and drinks and said to her, "Hi molly, eat something." She said something, which I could not understand. So, I said, "Molly, I did not get what you said." So she repeated the same sentence again. This time, I got what she said. She was saying, "I am waiting for my husaband." I was surprised for a moment coz I never knew her husband also lived in the same nursing home. But how could I have known coz it had only been couple of days since my internship at this busy but interesting place had started. I asked her, "does your husband live here also?" She just smiled.
After a couple of minutes, another resident, marvin ( older age grandpa) came and occupied his seat next to Molly . Seeing him, I thought to myself, "is miss Molly referring to him as her husband?" The thought bought a smile to my face. I just smiled. Probably, you would have done the same thing.
This time, I scooped some of her pureed food into the spoon and offered her to eat. But she said the same thing to me, "I am waiting for my husband." Now, it had already been 20 minutes since she had been waitnig for her husband, so I went and asked one of the employees, "do you know where I can find miss Molly's husband?" The answer to my question was, "He died several years ago."
"Oh!" Hm...I did not knew what to say to molly. I went back to the table and just smiled at her. After a while, I said to her, "Molly, he must be busy. Eat something dear." She just smiled this time again. That evening she left the table without touching her food or her drinks. And the next day, when I went to visit her, she was lying on her bed refusing to go to the dining room.
Since my encounter with this particular experience, I have been thinking how sometimes we tend to lose ourselves in time. There are some of us who are waiting for our dead relatives at the dining table, some waiting for our lost friends, some waiting to succeed our dreams & visions, some of us waiting to earn fame and money, some waiting to earn our degrees; & some waiting for nothing at all.
How interesting this life is? We waste our time waiting for the things we do not have and forget to wait for the possessions that is ours. Oh Life!...interesting? Hm...!
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| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 15-Jul-03 07:55 AM
Stranger
Life, if you sit down and ponder is such an interesting story. Don't you think so? Every single experience is so different from the other one, each one just like a mini movie saved in the disk of your memory. And you play it so many times before it phases out of your memory completely.
This experience is just one of the many beautiful things that happened to me in my life.
This morning when I woke up a little late than I had expected with the scores still left unsettled form my yesterdays...I decided to stay a little longer on my couch and go through the mini disks on my mind. Suddnely out of the blue popped out this experience...perhaps, it was becoz I had met this stranger out of the blue.
Yes, that was what had happened. Out of nowhere, I had met him. Our conversation had started in a bit unusual fashion & as it flowed, reached the peak, took turns and ended...both of us stayed there for a while telling each other through our unspoken words, "stay a little bit longer."
Strange was this meeting, as I think of it now. Within the next 5 minutes of our meeting we were pouring out our broken hearts and dreams before each other. His was a sad case. So was mine, perhaps? Yes, perhaps!... As we shared our broken lives, we cried. Both of us trying hard to keep our tears where they belonged. Where they belonged? 'Least that's what we had thought...they belonged in our eyes...maybe we were wrong, coz they wouldnot stop pouring out like a monsoon rain that had been storing up for years.
Uhm..., I said with a teary voice, "I am sorry, I've got a frog in my throat. Pardon me, didn't mean to emabarass you. You know easy tears...just like life, I have no control over them." He replied, "I understand...I am sorry too. Sorry for making you cry." "Oh, no it's ok!, I am fine...I am glad I cried...I had needed it for a long time, makes me refreshened," I replied as I tried hard to smile.
"You know when you cry, you should look at the mirror and cry...it makes you feel good," he said. "How do you cry?" he asked me. I replied, "I go into a place where no one sees me and pour out my heart...until I know, there isn't any left." "But how do you like to cry?" he asked me. I answered, "I like going into my room, closing the door. Play my favourite music on, lie down on my bed with a hankerchief or a tissue paper and cry." He chuckled. "But why do you play a music? that is funny!" "Uhm...so that no one can hear me crying," I replied. He chucked again and said, "Oh, that's interesting."
By now the sun had already set. It was almost a time for me to leave. Even amongst my tears and broken dreams, I still had things to do. So I walked away towards my destination as I spoke my final words "it was nice meeting you. Good luck in everything you do. I am sorry to hear what had happened but I wish you the best in your journey. Thanks, for making me cry" to him.
After that we never saw each other coz I never walked by that place. But, I had surely felt relieved and renewed listening to his story and sharing tits and pieces of mine. I am sure he did too.
Oh life!
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