| oys_chill |
Posted
on 08-Aug-03 04:00 PM
Inpired by good keta dai :). New found family man!
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"Shivaniii!" I sat up in bed suddenly wide awake. It felt like a dream.
It couldn't possibly..."oiee, kata gayo?" her voice crackled from the receiver. I felt my hand shaking as I answered back. "hoina yehi chu. Timi kaha baata ni aaja?"
"Ullu! Her endearing voice had a aroma of exuberance. "school baira ko pasal baata. Ghar ma ta.."She paused for a moment "timlai thaha cha ni". I had almost forgotten about Shivani. Months had elapsed without any email or a call. Despite the isolation, I realized I was still longing to hear her voice.
"pheri kata gayo? suti ra ho ki, kati bajyo OYs?" I could feel she wanted to tell me something important.
"3 am" I answered back.
"Oh my god! i am so sorry. ma weekend ma garchu hai pheri?"
"hoina pardaina, is there something?" i pressed on her.
"well" her breath remained steady for a while "I met this guy, cute and all. Don't know what to do. I always used to share everythig with you.
So just thought..." "AND?" excitement gripped me."well weekend ma garchu ni" Before I could say more She hung up saying "Oys, I love you"
******
"Oysssssss!" She had started with the same enthusiasm "Do u remember me?"
"Hey Shivani, of course" I could feel my heart pulpate to new heights. It had been almost five years since we had last met.
"katti class ma re timi ahile? ten?"
"HELLO! 10 re? I am starting college soon. Sadhai bacha hunchu ki k ho?" Damn how time flies. It only seemed like yesterday, as we blushed at each others arm in front of everyone trying to enjoy the game of blindfold at our house.
"Did you get the card I sent you?" I had hardly received any mails since the 9/11 episode. I was unlucky, or was that changing now?
I couldn't believe that day I had got in touch with Shivani again. Her online appearances increased in the coming days as we tied the loose ends of our vivid past.
Within a couple of days,we had finished talking about everything that we once were part of TOGETHER--being partners in cards in dashain, slap for losing the money, wild dances in tihar, deusi at her place, excuses to visit each others' home, family disparities, bluff calls in new years,hype our siblings made about us--we'd talked it all.
Amidst all this, even though she was far away, she still had irresitible charm in her talks. Talks changed to emails, emails to phonecalls. It was as if, we'd both found
lost paradise of the past. It was growing implicit. The more we kept in touch, the stronger the bond formed. Trust and care were integral part of our special friendship.
*****
One fine morning, I found a packet in my mailbox. It was from Shivani. Inside were two most beautiful pictures of her high school graduation, but that didn't interest me as much as the beautifully handwritten letter. I didn't how to comprehend her sentences that talked so much of her love for me. I was taken aback for a while. I didn't know anyone who knew me inside out.
Her every line was elegant full of valor and grace. She was ready to weather any storm that came between us even if it meant her own dear ones. I could not sleep that night. I was on the same dilemma again where I had been ten thousand times before and lost. Yet I chose the feral path once again.
Over time, our friendship was well known in our respective mileau. I was ecstatic one night to learn that she was due to come to US soon, and that too in a college next door. Upon onset of spring, my heart had already found the warmth of the summer. Shivani was livid about everything. There wasn't a day that passed until we resolved each other
and look forward to the next. I was still worried for life was not perfect and there were many who just wanted to make sure, it was not perfect for us. Despite my apprehension, Shivani's courage inspired me so much. I knew I couldn't love anything more in my life.
*****
Then suddenly--like the melodrama of every fairytale--Shivani vanished. At first I didn't bother. Then days turned into weeks, and weeks into months.A cold feeling encompassed my heart. I feared for the worst. Life was back to the drawing board where I had started. Everything seemed dull and chaotic. I spent long hours waiting online, writing emotional emails, even tried calling -- but to no avail.
Then one rainy afternoon I spotted her online. My derailed heart had found a new found hope. Even then, there was this haunting silence between us for a moment till she finally broke ..
"I know what you are thinking."
"you do?" I didn't know what to say.
"Oys! I joined an institution here. you know, maybe we should be like old buddies we used to be" "aint we now?" I was slightly angered
"yes, but you know I feel really childish to write you all those letters.."
That wasn't the answer i was looking for. "what happened Shivani?" I pressed her.
"OH well.....U remember Smriti dizzu.......She called from US"
"OH yah" I remembered " I haven't talked to her in ages, how is she?"
"She called to say about you....Mom was all tensed!"
"About me? what?" I was getting the shock of my life.
"I got to go Oys.." Before I could stop her she logged off. It was getting dark around me too. Storm and lightnings didn't let me sleep that night, as i hunted
ferociously for answers that i could never find.
************
"I LOVE YOU?" I laughed in the twilight. "women, what did they want?" If 20 years of Freud's research went in vain, I was just an upstart. I turned on the lights, drank a glass of water and sank in the chair. "OH SHIVANI" I thought as I stared at her picture mounted in the golden frame which I had reserved for a special someone.
Suddenly, I realized that the picture didn't blend well with the frame. I felt very weak. Yet, reluctantly, I removed her photo and slid it into the drawer full of my childhood treasures. "AH!" she was part of my childhood treasure. For a moment, I just scrutinized the empty frame. It dazzled in the dim light of my room. It looked much more beautiful
without its content. I gleamed in the semi darkness, and mounted the frame back to the wall where it sat pretty.
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