| Username |
Post |
| sateen |
Posted
on 14-Aug-03 01:25 PM
Hi guys!
I am posting this message to find out what you guys think and get some advice. I have been dating a Nepali guy for a few months now and sometimes feel like I don't completely understand him. He is very warm, intelligent and independent. As probably most of you already guessed I am not a Nepali. Would you guys help me to understand Nepali guys better. What do they want in a girl? Would they marry someone outside their culture and would it be for a Nepali society and his family to accept it? What are Nepali guys' attitude to sex? I would be thrilled if you guys can help me out. Thanx.
|
| chick pea |
Posted
on 14-Aug-03 01:55 PM
Hi Sateen:
I am not sure of your cultural background but as a Nepali guy, I can tell you that my family and friends accept my wife who is an American. My father and mother are from two different castes and had to run away to get married. So they understand what it is like to want to marry someone outside their culture/caste. Sex-- yes, we do like sex just as much as any other guy (speaking for myself). Every Nepali guys is different though. It is hard to generalize all of us. Some of my friends wouldn't marry outside their culture/caste and some are waiting for marriage to have sex. My wife had a hard time understanding my need to be with my friends a lot. Not that I was ignoring her but I grew up in a boarding school and I am use to being around a lot of my friends. Sometimes she wants to stay home just her and I, but I like to play sports and hang out with a large group. However, I do bring her along with me. You just have to talk to your boyfriend to understand his feelings about all of this. Where are you from?
chickpea
|
| Bob Marley |
Posted
on 14-Aug-03 09:27 PM
Sateen...
If you're seriously thinking about getting married and not having to have headache from HIS family, please make sure of his family history. How liberal are their thought, has anyone in his family been married to someone outside their cast, race before. Are the parents very religious, traditional? Do they sympathise other castes and races? I'm ot trying to scare you, but there are many families that will not accept woman out of their caste (My personal experience). At the same time, like Chick Pea, my family and many others...caste, race doesn't matter.
When it comes to friends, I completly agreee with Chick_Pea. It's just cultural thing and it's not hard to adopt with it. Infact you'll have more fun. Sex too.
Now comes to the part where I might be wrong and it's just my personal belief. I can stand with my wife doing anything, except if she flirts with other and cheats on me. Beside that, helping each other, loving and taking care of each others. Simple.
|
| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 03:43 AM
sateen!
Not every Nepali guys are the same!
After reading your message, I am sure you are not staying with him. Move to his apartment/house and experience it yourself. You will learn his attitude towards you as well as his attitude towards sex in a period of one month. I am assuming you can read people 'positively', and one month is long enough to understand someone!!!! I think...
|
| terimabajiya |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 02:54 PM
hello sateen... my name is bajiya, terimabajiya.
are u an asian? u say u've just dated this guy for a couple months and wanna know about issues such as social acceptance, marriage...
i can definitely provide you with some good insights into this matter but i need to know ur background and his bio-data (age, caste, from which city..).
|
| dogz |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 08:49 PM
Whazzup bajiya, wondering if she's talkin about yourself, huh!!
By the way Sateen, just out of curiousity, how did you find out about this site? Did your boy told you about it? Anyway Sateen whoever you are your boy loves you truely, madly, deeply. You can count on your Nepali Boy. C'mon girl, alter-all Nepali boy needs some lovin too.
|
| sateen |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 09:34 PM
Thank you everyone for your replies,
I am not sure which caste he is from because I never asked him. Even though we have been together for just a few months he already talks about marriage. he is 26 and he is from KTM. I have noticed that his ties to his friends are very strong and he is always around them. He claims that his feelings for me are string and he seems to care about me but at the same time I feel like he is afraid about losing his independence. Otherwise I like him a lot. he is also concerned about his family's reaction I guesses because no one in his family married an outsider before.
As for sex I feel like he wants to postpone it until marriage. I try to understand him and respect a Nepali culture. How do you guys think he will react if I tell him that I had a past relationship. I know that eventually I would have to be honest with him but I have no idea how he will react. What do you guys think?
|
| dogz |
Posted
on 16-Aug-03 11:11 AM
Well Sateen, you didn't answer Bajiya's question if you're an Asian....okey nevermind. So what concerns here most, is that if you want to get married too... about your boy's reaction to marriage (fear of losing independence), isn't it a worldwide thing? Not only Nepali but every guy in this whole freakin world will react the same. Not a big deal to worry about. You said you had a past relationship, if your boy really loves you your past shouldn't bother him. Thats what I think.
Finally about sex, how in the hell would he want to postpone it till your wedding, trust me thats not a Nepali Guy thing, actually its a Nepali GIRL thing. So you might wanna give a deep thought about it.
|
| terimabajiya |
Posted
on 16-Aug-03 02:17 PM
hello everybody,
thanks for trying to help out our lost sateen here.
now, coming back to you sateen. thanks for the info about ur nepali man. he's old enought to make his own decisions and in the end that's what matters most. well, if he talks about marrying you then he is past that stage where parents and society are even an issue. if he's serious, this decision of spending his life with you supercedes any other obligations he might have. BUT, u have to be honest with him and tell him about your past if u really love him. couple months is not that serious (and u guys haven't had sex yet) so just tell him straight up everything about it and see his reaction. if he's fine with it, be with him. give it a few months before getting married. this will surely let both of u decide what's best for u.
about the premarital sex thing,.... u are fine with it, but he's not. this won't be an issue anymore after u tell him about urself. he might choose to be with u.. he might not (coz he's a freakin 26 year old male virgin... sorry,, got carried away). hey, after u tell him about it, he might come out of the closet and say " one time at band camp.. .i... then, u guys could blow each others brains out... ha ha... in conclusion, don't be selfish, it's not just about what u want or what he wants... u guys have to work it out and if it doesn't, u know the answer.. i hope this helps.
|
