| Username |
Post |
| anamika1 |
Posted
on 14-Aug-03 10:27 PM
I have lived abroad for many years and have limited contact with Nepali community. My girl friends and I often have a conversation about meeting an intelligent Nepali guy who is well balanced and well adjusted to the foreign culture while being a confident Nepali at heart. But often I hear that Nepali guys are often threatened by intelligent, independent Nepali ketis. Even in Nepal, they may want to date and enjoy being with girls but when it comes to tying the knot, they succumb to family pressure and usually marry a girl of their family's choice. And those Nepali girls who do dare to date and find mate of their choice often have to go through couple of boys before finding a man whom they end up marrying. In the process, in our cultural context....they lose their reputation hence pay the price of being easy. Why do we have this double standard when a majority (especially from ktm) have experienced and exposed due overseas travel and education. Also, I have observed from my limited contact though it may be, that nepali guys treat non nepali ketis with equality and more respect than they do with nepali ketis.When they are with nepali ketis, they go back to the bau baje dekhi lageko chalan into playing the shreeman role while the shreemati is confined to domestic duties and byabahar. Why is this disparity? In the short time, I have discovered the sjha.com, I have learnt there to be a number of intelligent Nepali people among sajhaites and am hoping you guys will help me understand this matter - and please no immaturity. I have seen lots of products from respectable institutions like harvard and mit participate in the forums as well so kindly help me understand this marka. And ladies feel free to put down your thoughts as well. I am very interested to hear Ashu and Sitara's feeling on this matter.
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| nepalichori |
Posted
on 14-Aug-03 10:49 PM
Ani didi, ta pai ke bhannu huncha. Nepali guys haru testai ho ni ta. Ta pai bahira basnu bha ko dherai bhayecha kyare... tara yo keta haru arko 20-25 barsha samma estai huncha. Hamro ukhan cha ni kya.....kukur ko puchar bahra barsha dhunga muni rakhda pani kahile sojho hundaina kya. Ini haru estai ho....tyesai huna le kati jana hamro nepali keti haru bideshi haru sita jancha ni thaha chaina!!!!
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| lonely |
Posted
on 14-Aug-03 11:03 PM
anamika1, and nepalichori,
not all men/boys are like that. You need to have patience and time to find the " " type you want.
Hope you and all the nepali ketis will find their type.
always lonely,
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| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 03:03 AM
1 paragraph ekkai saash ma padhne bani bhaako, padhe padhe maile padhe!! Hufff Hufff!!!
Okay, I don't know, seriously I don't!! (Kattina intelligent jasto eh!! I don't know I don't know re LOL).
The Irony is, some stupid (not stupid! That would be me), some ummm as****es (language! Kaan samatchu!) end up with the most beautiful women, and those ladies are treated like dirt (geet thiyo ni, "you are like a diamond and he treats you like a glass" bhanne), and some sojho, assal ( like me!! ahhh, stopppp... just kiddin'!) ketas end up with b**ches (language! Feri kaan samatchu) ... sappai Bramha ko lekha ho!!!
Some of the cases are like "chauta khaana gaa ki budhi jhol ma dubhera mari". Some are not. and if they are not, then it's really bad... !!
khoi ke ke...
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 05:12 AM
Anamika:
Very interesting topic you have brought forth. I can understand and empathize with your concerns regarding cultural and traditional limitations that bind Nepalis ( men or women) regarding gender roles. Yes, I agree that the gender roles are more rigid in our culture but you will find it so in many of the non-western societies. Although, I consider myself a feminist (not a radical one mind you!), do not feel that I need to compete with a male in every respect. However, respect is the major ingredient I look for in any relationship; there are many Nepali men who are intelligent enough to respect a woman as there are many non-Nepali men who aren't. I have met many Nepali men who are smart, intelligent, openminded and do not have to resort to female bashing and/or disrespect women to empower themselves. I have still more friends who have gone beyond caste/nationality to date and wed their love. Many of my Nepali male friends cook, wash dishes and keep house ( if you would consider this a female domain) without any hesitation. But, on the other hand, there have been unfortunate circumstances where I have had to cut a conversation short or walk away because of sweeping statements of... " All women are......." but, such an attitude can exist even in western societies.
The spouse selection ( whether Nepali or other) process falls upon you as an individual:
What are the qualities you are looking for? Respect begets respect.
What are your priorities?
How "modern" are you or how radical? note: there are very few who consider a swearing, cussing, hard-drinking, hard- smoking female, a prospective spouse. For me, a male prone to such mannerisms may not be a turnon.
Also, what are you willing to sacrifice during a relationship and after marriage ( chatting, smoking, cussing, double dating, having many male friends, having other male confidantes.....things that may affect a relationship).
Also, know what kind of guys you are attracted to; are they the kind that suit/match your needs or are you hoping to change a "bad" boy to suit your needs. Remember, you cannot change anyone out of coercion... it becomes nagging!
Dating anyone (Nepali or other) has the same process of matching likes, dislikes, fundamental values. If you are having bitter arguments on subjects like religion, gender roles, caste.... chances are that you might have to compromise more than you might want to. Would you want to compromise your value-system to fit into another? I, for one cannot afford to let go of my value system nor coerce another into mine; what is forced cannot not last long. I would just respect the differences and move on.
As far as schooling: Schools or Ivy-league schooling do not mean a better, respectful, humanbeing; it just guarantees a degree or certificate from that particular school. Education is NOT about a school or degree. It is about being openminded, tolerant and flexible. I am more impressed by a high-schooler who can discern racism than by a Harvadain Phd- holder who gives elaborate theories justifying it.
Anamika, don't look at any man through the cultural and traditional glass; be aware of the limitations of the culture but not bogged down by it. The focus should be on yourself and your priorities and then try to limit your "datings" to those who you feel comfortable with, not those who (you hope) will change when/after they fall in love.
Anamika, just be prudent in your choices and you will be fine.
Just sitara's two cents worth! :)
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| maaya |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 06:17 AM
"Education is NOT about a school or degree. It is about being openminded, tolerant and flexible."
Well said. Only if my folks would understand that.
Sitara,
I have a question for you. What would you have done in this situation? This situation is:
You find a man and that's the best you could find. He's almost all that you have ever wanted in a man. And there are little bit of compromises, and little bit of teaching to do. But not much at all. You think about getting married to him. When you let your mother know, she freaks out because the man is a foreigner. So what would you do?
BTW, isn't it too early to be in sajha at 5 in the morning? or was it too late?
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| marich |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 06:30 AM
pahilo kura . To all the like-minded nepali girls as Anamika1..where were you when i was looking ..two years ago..kya jori milthyo hamro..ajhai pani chanas cha ..dance garne bhe..
Sitara hajurko kuraai nagarau ..ajhai ustai belama kurai nasunau..dimag nai ranthanai dincha..bekarmra bha yeuta dimag..yo sano dimag..
a sacchi tya 5:21 am bhanyo bhane khas time chahi 8:21 am bhai ra huncha..khai kina ho..yo sajhako ghadi bha bhera hola..
Kura gahiro cha..ma chahi tap ya bata..aaja friday bhare rati padhnu parcha sitara hajurko kura..ali ali mathi lekma pugera mattra ..nabhaye ta thichcha naramro sangle..
Sitara hajur..ani naya "Nest" kasto cha ta ? oops ..aba sanle marne bho..
Bye..
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| KaLaNkIsThAn |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 06:53 AM
6:50 Sajha Time is 9:50 Eastern Time...
6:50 AM is server time re... can not be changed re... Thapako kura bhanya ho....
If you scroll the page all the way down, you will see the server time at the right hand corner of the page... aha!!!
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| south |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 07:04 AM
anamika1, i am a nepali guy and i have many nepali friends, boys. I would like to tell you one thing, well you said you are living abroad for a long time so may be you are not much aware with nepali guys and their attitude towards girls. as sitara expressed her wonderful views, you can find good and bad people in every part of the world and there are plenty of nepali guys who are very good and have all qualities what a girl want on her man. i always respected ladies and i know may of my frens do too, and i dont think we ever talked about like not marrying more educated girls or something like that. we are educated so we talk about we need educated and independent girl rather than wo jsut stay at home. there are many families in nepal whose both memebers( father and mother ) go to work and are living happily. my father always helps my mother and so does she. so if you are feeling like nepali are only like that what you have heard then try to be get close to them i am sure you will find good people too.
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| bhenda2 |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 07:20 AM
But some Nepalese men are difficult...I am talking from my experience. They expect their wife to cook and clean even though both are educated and have jobs..but they think its the women's job.
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| Arnico |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 07:26 AM
Very interesting topic. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of time to write about it now...
One thing I have noticed over and over, in myself and others, is that *many* Nepali guys (including myself) have a really hard time breaking out of childhood [power] relationships with their parents, and to develop a healthy adult-to-adult relationship with their parents that provides space for standing up for one's wife and space for amicably disagreeing with parents. A lot of parents seem to hold their sons hostage with guilt and "kartabya" (we brought you up, now you have to not just take care of us, but do what we say)... to the point of often poisoning things within a young couple where both are educated, intelligent, ambitious, and have a world view that radically differs from that of earlier generations.
Often times parents' views of the world, and parents wishes and guidances are NOT adequate for navigating the complex globalizing world that we live in... yet, guys, why is it that so many of us have no problem cooking, washing dishes and sharing in decisionmaking, yet we freak out at the thought of doing things that go against the spoken wishes of our parents (or grandparents or aunts)... even when it goes with one's own and one's spouse's conviction, even when it is something that builds a healthier relationship with one's spouse (the most important person in one's life)? What is it that makes us falter in front of "culture" and "tradition" to the point of going against the best interest of our own marriage and against our own convictions?
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| phoenix |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 08:41 AM
A very interesting topic and one that had been hovering in my mind for quite some time.Yes, there have been men who hang around with the open minded,intelligent ,'modernised 'girls and have even managed to have pre marital affairs but when it gets down to marrying, they would go for their family's choice. i myself have known people who have said they would rather prefer to marry girls who are pure and untouched (u know what i mean).But these same men have been able to get away with premarital affairs.On questioning them about this they say " ke garney haami ta nepali paryon ,shrimati ta sojhi ,gharelu khalkai chahincha"!
Arnico ji ,about your question of 'why's ' i'd think it's because men who stand up for their wives are called 'joi tingreys' ! No man, i feel ,would like to be known as a ' hen pecked ' husband.Yeah there are people who say 'i don't give a damn to what others say'...but deep down inside these things nag him. After all being raised in a patriarchal society it's not easy for a man to let down his convictions easily.
Men who are living abroad have been doing everything from cooking to washing to cleaning ...that's because they are ABROAD .Do you think they would be able to do the same back home? I guess not.Even if they would want to, our society would look at them with raised eyebrows....After all "yeta uti garera haami ta nepali paryum ni" !!!!
Jai Nepal:)
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| bhenda2 |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 09:21 AM
Tara henpecked bhancha bhanera you can't just take your parents side all the time...one has to learn to balance and be fair .and be sensitive towards your spouse's needs also..I have noticed that some Nepali sasu's tend to be really possesive towards their sons..so they are always complaining about their buharis ignoring that buharis are educated and their careers are equally important too..and sons need to grow up and make up their own minds instead of going to their moms for every small issue.
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| bewakoof |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 10:18 AM
You might be convoluting several issues here. To begin with some of the behaviour you ascribe to Nepali males are actually more universal. Nepali guys are often threatened by intelligent, independent Nepali ketis is a complaint heard all over the world and it is not Nepali keta specific. Women all over the world complain about that. It is an exaggerated and over-generalized statement and in cases where it is true, it probably is the product of some insecure men and some fastidious women. But thats another topic for another time.
Similarly, your charge that Nepali Ketas might date any Keti but succumb to parental pressure when it comes to marriage is also more universal and less Nepali keta specific. Most men who are chasing skirts to score will date many ketis but they are not going to marry them. I dont see myself marrying most of the Ketis I have dated. It was fun dating them or having a good time with them, as they say. But heck I am not gonna marry them. I will look for someone with whom I can have a stable and mutually respectful partnership. And I will also look to see if she will get along with my family and friends. Most men and women approach dating and marriage slightly differently and that is universal, not Nepal specific. And there is nothing wrong with that. In romance novels you might meet a perfect person, have perfect courtship, get married and live happily ever after. But that doesnt happen often in real life. Actually your entire note has less to do with Nepali keta-keti issues and more with age-old universal relationship issues.
As far as your charge that Nepali men behave differently with Nepali and non-Nepali women, I dont know to what extent that is true. As for myself, a Nepali keta, I have never gone out with a Nepali keti. I have dated several non-Nepali ketis since coming to the US but not any Nepali keti. And it is definitely not because I expect different things from Nepali vs non-Nepali ketis. Its more a case of cultural lacuna on my part. When I was in Nepal, I hardly ever talked/interacted with non-relative Nepali keti. So I just dont know how to deal with a Nepali keti. For eg, how do you ask out a Nepali keti? Or how do you flirt in Nepali language? I just dont know. What are the expectations and understanding of dating? But when I came to US I learned the culture here and learned how to deal with ketis. I know exactly what is expected and I know exactly how to play the game. Whenever I try to ask out a Nepali keti, it always ends up in awkward situations. Then I just give up and my reaction ends up being screw this, returns of investment on non-Nepali ketis is much better than on Nepali ketis . I dont think its anyones fault. Like I said, I think its a matter of cultural gap on norms of Nepali keta-keti interaction and probably my particular personal situation. This last part is my take based just on my personal experiences. So feel free to agree/disagree &.. I cant believe I spent 15 minutes on this.
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 10:51 AM
pretty interesting postings up there.. thanx for giving meh thecourage people... but the same question goes for the gurls too.. if i have seen guys doing wut their parents ask em to .. i have also see gurls marryin the guy their parents choose for em.. so lets change the topic to.. NEPALI KETA/KETI KO MARKA..
i might sound immature infront of ya'll intellectuals.. but frm wut i have seen.. its kinda challenging to stand against ur parents.. coz they blackmail u emotionally.. n u won't find a way out of that.. and most of our nepalese parents don't just understand.. even though they r living in foreign for ages.. when it comes to marriage.. janam kundali.. jat bhat.. duniya dari hernai parcha.. m just pointing out the fact that ya'll r acknowledge of..
anamika ji.. like sitara dii said.. up there "what kind of guys you are attracted to; are they the kind that suit/match your needs" .. we got buncha playa out there.. so u need to seek fo ya match.. be patience.. sumday that sumone will pass by you.. n he won't be marryin the gurl his parents choose for him.. instead he will tell his parents.. mom dad.. this is the gurl... she's DA ONE m gonna marry.. just wait n be patience.. there is an ol sayin in nepali "dhilo gaye pugincha jo.. hatar gare ke ho ke ho"..
yb
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| katmandude |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 11:46 AM
Like Bewakoof, I have never really dated a Nepali woman for several reasons.
1) Have not met one I wanted to ask out. Those who I wanted to ask out already taken or not interested in me.
(ever been at the right place at the right time.)
3) Not sure how to handle non-relative Nepali woman. My censor antennas are working at threat level RED when I am talking to a nepali woman lest some foul words escape my mouth. That gets exhausting after a while. I want to be relaxed when I am out with a girl. I treat women very well but I can't watch my language all the time and that's what I feel like I have to do when I am talking to nepali women.
last but not the least, how do you ask a Nepali girl out? Dating is such a non-Nepali thing...I am afraid asking a Nepali girl out tantamounts to proposing her to get married.
k'dude
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| terimabajiya |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 02:13 PM
hyat teri... nepali keti haru pani feminist huna thalecha... divorce ko numbers badhne bhayo aba...
*tsk..tsk... mero budi pani feminist bhaye hunthyo..tsk*... women's right dee haalthe : )
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| babaji |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 02:29 PM
How about Nepali Keta ko Marka ni???
hahahaha
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| xserver |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 03:03 PM
It is not easy to find a girl/guy you want..
if you guys then first u need to take care status which is not easy nowdays..then finish education then makes money... then think about Girl man.. nomatter how beautiful girl, smart u married but you dont have status (greencard,h1-b, PR) plus NO money life is going to be hell...for bahun it is really hard to find because most american return bahun guys want to married modern, doctor, engineer no ART,no LAW not from outside kathmandu but it is really hard to find with categories becuase most girls married early plus smart,inllegent guys already have boyfrind or engagged better guy then YOU..I think u need get married girl not with looks but as long as she read and speak and write english, ready to work gas station resturant for professional jobs, toughtminded, quick learner this things u need guys...
to finding guys... as u know most nepali guys are no height, dont have sense humour, no money at least 16,000 credit card before graduate, may already got AIDS on of those summer too many sexual things in ocean city baltimore who knows????
due to all those no way they get white girls then they got frustate went homw get married with sojhi nepali girl all relatives friends think well even this guys in usa that long still come back get married with nepali girl that is BULL CRAP.. I CHALLENGED IF ANY NEPALI GUYS IF THEY GOT NICE GOOD LOOKING TALL WHITE GIRLS NO AWAY THIEY WIILL GO BACK GET MARRIED NEPAL GIRLS...
THAT ALL I HAVE TO SAY LOVE PEACE
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| Suna |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 03:37 PM
Arnico
"One thing I have noticed over and over, in myself and others, is that *many* Nepali guys (including myself) have a really hard time breaking out of childhood [power] relationships with their parents, and to develop a healthy adult-to-adult relationship with their parents that provides space for standing up for one's wife and space for amicably disagreeing with parents. "
Tapai ko bhanai ma dherai nai depth cha. Touched my heart.
Must be difficult being a male child. Overbearing parents (opps..concerned parents) who want to STILL be a major part of your life and a wife who demands some respect from you and needs your ear sometimes (called nagging by some of our dear brothers).
I would NEVER want to be in our men's shoes. It must be a horrible position to be in.
"What is it that makes us falter in front of "culture" and "tradition" to the point of going against the best interest of our own marriage and against our own convictions?"
It's called unrealistic demands and expectations the parents have of you. It's not love and respect for one's son, it's called being selfish and putting your son in a lousy position. It's called not letting your son make choices. It's called unhealthy attachment.
GOSH!!!
Can you tell I could go on......and I'm not bitter?? :)
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| ozdownunder2 |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 04:35 PM
Apart from Nepali Angellic (lipstick lesibian Nepali) Brahmanic attack on a SNAG (sensitive new age guy) lover of Arabia like me...I would like to add some observations:
1. Generally Asian and specifically Nepalese men are terrible treating Nepalese ladies. They treat them recklessly and unintentionally like sex slaves. Nepalese men contribute much much less in domestic chores as shown by recent UNESCO based sociological and family studies. For example, I have been doing a Neo-Hindu cult based sex deprivation studies. I am focusing on the Hare Khrishas of Nepal located at the foothills of Sivapuri hills near BNK school. Nepali men have sex only once a month in full moonlight to do procreation. Women are deprived of sex as recreation. Most of the hard yakkas or work are done by women, even money making is done by women like selling Nepalese flags and charging US$ 3 per each kiss for Krishna etc. Men take the power based role as temple pujari, President of the organisation, Treasurer and so forth. They hate to touch money and anything earthly....They are being here the Neo Bhramins and yet most are from Chayamekhalak or Bhungikhalek or former bonded slaves or takadhari pani nachalne jaat. World is a bizarre place !
2. So from this observation, you can see that Nepalese men are in the mould of the specimen like Arnico, Ashutosh Tiwari and much more like the archetypal Nepali Brahman priest class, who are paleo conservative and atypical ethnocentric and paternalistic...a hallmark of the traditional Asian society. They are even worse when they have gone to Christian based school or even worse they have been to universities in the west. They lose originality and lack the art of being independent critical thinkers just like me. I favour no one and fear no one...I am that Iam...I have said that I do not like Nepali women because they do not know the art of maintaining themselves, when I look Nepali women they become too fat at the age of 30 by eating too much ghee...just look at my own auntie the Queen Komal...so fat and ugly...motapa probably symbolises wealth like being blessed by the fat and ugly Lord Ganesha. Types like Arnico et. al are only talking to patronise women by pretending to be sensitive and empathetic of their own peculiar sexual motives perhaps !
3. Nepalese women also have no skill in the art of flirting and making their men important in most cases. In my estimation most of themare wickedly lazy and do not learn the art of kamasutra...basically, Nepalese women are lousy in bed like a dead body being flogged at the action of senses or geting tilting and vibrating senses. I speak the truth and am not frightened with names like San, Man, Dhan, Paan and so forth. Why sensor me ? Look at the thread on Bahuns and Nepali Angel has admitted being a Leso and attacked Bhotekhalaks having flat chest and does not like being fukked by them and much more...all I said and talked of my little friend called Dick and that Nepali Angel need not be the Dominatrix of my little trick friend.
4. When Bajes try to control this forum as they are from STX and are self styled life members of the forum then open discourse on Nepalese male and female based intercourse based discourse is not going to take place in transparency based candour, accountability, honesty, intergrity, self respect and much more....I am a deviant and a nightmare for these pathetic copycat paleo conservatives....I am for change management...so that Nepalese guys and gilrs can come to be SNAGS just like me in this 21st century.
5. I am not perfect...have sown a Buddha seed to grow to know more about generation X,Y, Z guys and girls to get feedback...from here I can reflect and take action to be better and grow into a tall Buddhadar great Banyan tree and provide even shade to countless Buddhas....that is my vision, mission, objective, strategy, tactic and operation.
What are yours ?
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| nepali_angel |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 08:09 PM
You're of course BOGUS. No, not just your writing. Nobody would fall for your pseudo-intellectual veneer, except for goats. Hello? How about sources? Stop theorizing and start getting serious.
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| nepali_angel |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 08:16 PM
"Nepali men have sex only once a month in full moonlight to do procreation"
That is so stupid. Now who would believe this crap??? Looks like Father Moran also banged your brain cells.
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| ozdownunder2 |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 08:24 PM
Hey Nepali dyke,
My sources are Diamond Sutra, Lotus Sutra, Pushpanjali Tripitaka, Hevajra Mahakavya and much much more....I am the real McCoy in what I do and what I say....It is based on the 8 fold path....Proper thinking, proper eating, proper breathing, proper mating and much much more....
What are your sources Dyke on a Nepali moped Bike ?
You are not even real, you are only bastard jaise bahuni panturi baiji wanna have a stiff with real Mahagurus of Sastras like Astabakra in the court of King Janak and who went to defeat Pseudo intellectual Bahun Maha Rishis like Garga Muni "the Gurguler" and Durvasha "the devil" jaise bahuns....
Do you understand psuedo plastica wanna be Nepali and Asian Studies no. 1 ???????????
What are your sources of knowledge ? You appear and instantly send the communication into anomie....Why??????????????????? Is it because you are a gender bender fender tender pretender????????????????????
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| dogz |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 08:54 PM
Aabui ke bhaneko xserver ley, mero white girlfriend ko photo tasdium yeha !!
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| dhananjya |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 09:21 PM
Dear Anamika1,
I dont know how to start. My experience doesnt let me to agree with your views. You have generalized all the Nepali guys which is not natural at all, that you have already heard from different scholars. My views can never be for all, this is true, but what I say wont be simple views and mere theory. Just analyze it and accept if you think it is scientific, pragmatic and reasonable.
Besides being a gurl and a guy we are human being. Among the human being some will be good some will be bad. You may use probability theory of statistics here. Since the number of both is almost equal you will end up with almost equal number of good girls and guys. Again, who is good? What do you say well? It varies person to person.
Let me explain with some illustrations:
My choice may be completely different than my best friend. I have a friend who like very simple girls. He fell in love with a girl when he heard that she is very simple, humble and good hearted though he did not know her well. He keeps loving her for years together though the girl was completely ignoring him. Crazy guy. He is crazy for me. Now he is tired of love and looking for a girl of his type to get married. One thing what I noticed amazing of this guy is that he never lost balance of his mind. He loved the girl but never let the feelings ruined him. He never claimed his love was pure, but I have noticed, there were more compassion in his love than passion. How did I notice? Well, he lost his so called love, but did not get depressed and he said he still have compassionate love for her. He want to see her always happy. How will you analyze this guy?
I personally dont afraid of educated girls. I certainly afraid of egoist girls. Many people want many things in life but I have only one choice that is happiness. I know the way to happiness. Happiness neither comes form degree, nor from money. Neither will it come from success, nor from sensual pleasure. These all so called cool things will give me instantaneous excitation that will kill my peace of mind. Happiness will come only from peace. And peace will come from wisdom. I need my spouse wise. I dont mind whether she is Ph.D. or S.L.C.
Regarding dates, I have neither dated any girl nor will I. I have a friend who also never dates any girl. He came across such situations, couple of times; he saved their as well as his moral. Once he was a TA. A white girl (his student) proposed him, she was beautiful. But she did not know his nature; neither could he explain to her that he observes moral precepts. I guess, she thought he didnt find her enough beautiful. She started to show up with different guys to make him feel how hot she is. For me life is not mere momentary excitement, it means a lot. You will find many ketas who will tease me as well as my friend, in this case. Why to talk about other boys, I have another friend who has five girlfriends in Nepal and he is looking for one here. Each of them thinks she is the one and only one with him. See the difference. Dont generalize.
Regarding duties, I dont think that matter who is cooking and washing dishes. If both spouse are full of love, pure love, compassionate love, they will like to give less burden to each other. Wife will be happy if she could serve his husband and husband will be happy if he could be his help. Amazing life of love birds. The house will not remain a house it will be heaven, provided the person who lived in should be Devatas. If you compromise of washing dishes, cooking food, marketing blab balb blab. That is not a happy life, it is just compromised life.
So Anamika1 ji, these are my personal views and experiences. They just teache you there are different characters and generalization is not possible.
dhananjya
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| ozdownunder2 |
Posted
on 15-Aug-03 09:26 PM
Dhananjaya buddhu bro aka buddha bro,
Stop wanking with words as a Buddha parrot. Why don't you be yourself as the original Buddha...try Tantrik sex on a dog as you do not like any women based on your twisted MOTHERLY GREEN TARA LOVE POTION COMPASSION.
Just wank yourself bro and stop torturing women for what they are as you will never understand them you GOTHE !
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| south |
Posted
on 16-Aug-03 03:59 AM
"I CHALLENGED IF ANY NEPALI GUYS IF THEY GOT NICE GOOD LOOKING TALL WHITE GIRLS NO AWAY THIEY WIILL GO BACK GET MARRIED NEPAL GIRLS... "
hey xserver, well how can you generalize all nepali guys. i am here in usa and i got very good nepali gf back in NEPAL. she is good in all: an engineering student, tall, good figure, good look, and intelligent, caring . i have not found as good as her here. i am not interested in marrying any white girl here i am very happy with her. so dotn say like I Challenged....
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| anamika1 |
Posted
on 16-Aug-03 07:23 AM
First of all, I have to admit that I am amazed to see the responses this particular subject has received. To be honest, I was expecting some serious bashing but I see that most of the replies are mature and in depth. Maile chahin la aba, kohilai ke dhanda...ghar dhani lai khana ko pir bhanne jasto reaction expect gareko thiyen. Well, lemme address some of the concerns that people put forth for me. Firstly, I wrote this out of personal observations and experiences and I being a woman...this obviously put forth a womans marka. Secondly, this posting was for both men and women ( NEPALI ORIGIN of course) to respond to so it was in no way directed to a certain population of people based on gender, age, intellect nor to anybody coming from certain academic background or institution. And thirdly and lastly, I am fully aware that this is a general matter and that exceptions to these perceptions do exist and it was not meant attack anybody personally. I was basically just trying to understand why Nepali men were intimidated by independent, confident Nepalis women yet do not show any qualm in dating and marrying non- nepali women and who possess the mentioned traits. And why do they succumb to tradition/culture and parental pressure and not be able to adequately balance the space and privacy in their marriage when married to a Nepali woman. Thats all.
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| Arnico |
Posted
on 16-Aug-03 09:42 AM
Here is another photo of Krishnabhir that may have a bit more detail:
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| bhenda2 |
Posted
on 18-Aug-03 09:13 AM
haina Krishnabhir ko photo yeha kasari ayecha........
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