| Username |
Post |
| _kopila_ |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 11:38 AM
I am planning on going back to Kathamndu and try my fate. I now that there are Maobadis, corruption and violance. My major concern is the violance. I have a three year old daughter I am concerned for her safety.
It is a dilema I am facing as a single mom. Lack of hitech-jobs makes me and my daughter very vulnerable to harsh economic conditions here in US. If I go back to Nepal I can find work easily and live. My biggest concern is safety for my daughter.
Please help me out and let me know what you all think. Do others feel the same? What would you do if you cannot find work in US?
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| peda |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 12:09 PM
It is very tough, almost impossible to live in US without a job.
Going to Nepal is an option. It is very nice to be amongst one's one communities. As you have mentioned, there are problems with securities.
There is no right or wrong answer here. It all depends on your priorities in life. Everything in life is ridden with risks. You would have to ride your luck and hope for the best.
I guess, the ordinary Nepalese will sooner than later, will begin to take charge of their own securities. All the problems will inherently lead to solutions: I believe in this.
My suggestion is : if you feel you would be happier in Nepal, go for it. Be prepared for a struggle- nothing comes that easy especially if you are not borne with a golden spoon in the mouth. Good luck!
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| czar |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 01:04 PM
Kopila,
Based on your posting, I understand you have knowledge of and experience in the high tech industry. That said, perhap you may want to try Europe, particularly Germany and Ireland for IT jobs. Ireland is a high tech manufacturing sector for Europe and may have something for you. Germany is starting to pull out of its economic slump and had a programme in place to offer a five year work visa for IT people. I don't know your skill sets and am not certain what both these Euro countries are looking for, still, you may want to give it a try.
The other option is to try for jobs in Australia and New Zealand. The aussie economy is larger and may better support your professional aspirations.
Canada: I know, I know...loads of horror stories..but you may want to still check things out.
South Asia: Thailand, Malyasia and Singapore. All have vibrant economies, Singapore has the best quality of life of the three mentioned here. Living costs are higher than Thailand/Malaysia, but they have the more developed legal system to sustain and protect your rights as a foreign worker. All three countries have large expat workers populations. Vietnam: could be worth a try.
Brunei: tiny, rich, and laid back life style, good salaries. Phillipines: chaotic, but livable. Check them all out.
Who may hire you: multinationals. As for local companies, unless they are also multinationals, things can be iffy regards securing work and residential visas for you.
Nepal: the end game for the Maoists is in sight. They have a stranglehold on the country side and can choke the life out of Kathmand in ten days if they choose to. All they have to do is close the road into Kathmandu and its game over. Militarily, not difficult to do.
Safety: read the thread about Prachanda's thoughts on his revolution. Its chilling. In short, there is a real possibility of some version of the Killing Fields of Cambodia all over again. Yes, many may disagree with me on this and call it needless hysteria, but I can not see the remnants of the army and their feudal masters going down without a fight of some sorts.
Good luck
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| sankaa |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 01:30 PM
Czar's advice is very agreeable. Please think 1000 times before you jump to plane to Nepal. Look for other alternatives. I have my mom back home. She tell me that maosts are collecting money from families in kathmandu. If they know you're American return , they ask more money from you -"ray". I am not trying to scare you but the things are really not hopeful right now. I don't know if it will going to change, but as far as i think , it won't. It is just going to get worse and worse.
Please be hopeful. Life is a struggle it self. It worths to live like a low low class life in a secure and respectable enviroment than to be a victim of cruel idealogy. just my 2 cents.
good luck.
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 01:43 PM
Kopila jyu,
USA is the best place in the earth for any single mom. Even if you don't have any job, you are eligible to receive welfare benefits, such as housing, foods, transportation, education, etc. I don't think you will need any of those. If you are concerned about US economy, it is improving now. Companies are starting hiring, I rarely hear any companies distributing pink slips. At the present situation, I don't suggest to make a livelihood in Nepal. To tell you honestly, you will be frustrated with so many things there when you have already spent so many years in states. Things like which you are not supposed to pay, such as clean air, safe water, safe street, safe food, etc are out of reach for common people these days. Once the political problem is resolved, there is booming prospects in many sectors. But, the solution is not at sight anytime soon. If there are compelling reason to go Nepal, such as visiting aging parents or anyother loved one, yes you should go there.
Czar has already given you helpful tips about IT jobs around the globe. You won't find any best person other than him in Sajha.
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| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 01:49 PM
_kopila_ji,
We can write pages about this and all of the suggestions given by czar, sankaa, peda rae relevant.
But, bottom line, my 2 cents, don't go to Nepal. It is kind of falling into fire from frying pan. In US people are not that direct telling others what to do, but, as a Nepali I would directly say this (and get away with 'speaking my mind'). Or, I could say 'if I was in your position I would not go....'
Learn from others mistakes, ask people in Nepal rather than people in US. Do they think it is better for you to come (other than your family who would want you to come back to Nepal out of love) to Nepal.
I am not sure what is your immigration status. If you have a green card then you don't have worries. Economic time will rebound and you will get jobs.
Change your job search criteria. Look for those companies who outsource in India, Nepal, Russia from US. You can be a good team lead here for them. Lots of time US companies have 'communication gap' with those teams, you will fit right in during that situation.
Also, don't forget, the education for your kid is 'free' in this country. Most of the people in Nepal dream of sending their kids here for education and you are already priviledged to send your kid for US education.
Canada is best other alternative. It does not take much to qualify and you will get citizenship in three years of permanent residency.
Also, think of changing location in US. There are different parts of countries where hiring is going on. Consider relocating. Search on google where the hiring is going on.
After all if you decide to go back to Nepal there are tons of opportunities in Nepal for IT professionals like you. Go and contact CAN (computer association of Nepal) to learn about IT industry. Teach in many different colleges (make easily Rs. 50-70,000 per month). There are many multinational companies in Neapl who paid real well.
Good luck and keep in touch and post about what you did. Let us know if you need any specific information in Nepal.
-iti
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 01:49 PM
If your reasons are based solely on security and not career, I think Nepal is still a safe haven compared to other places. Yes, the image of Nepal has been tarnished over the years, but WHERE ON EARTH IS THE SAFEST PLACE TO LIVE. Answer: none!
I had a female friend who visited KTM recently and she was actually thrilled. According to her, the problem of maowadi is there, but it is not targeted on citizens. Remember this is not my opinion, hers. There aren't any more gundas on the streets. The local violence has come to a dead halt. In a way, any woman or a gal, who would have a hard time walking through those secluded streets, must feel safer now with military roaming around. Don't you think so?
Czar, its so easy to give all the places around the world where one could live a very safe and a promising life, but is there any satisfaction psychologically? I've known people who have spent years in Germany and the likes, and have felt the inability to adapt to the alien land. Well maybe, she could, she couldn't. But there are rebel groups and incidents of violence in all the places you mentioned + the added tag of being a foreigner.
and of course, career wise with hitech jobs in Nepal, I'd have to say pretty slim.
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 02:02 PM
As Oys said, YES, the target is not ordinary citizens.
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| _kopila_ |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 02:37 PM
Peda,
I appreciate your enthusiasm.
Czar,
Thank you for the information around the globe on IT industry. Germany does sound like a viable option for a Nepali. Is it true that the German immigration policy favors Nepali?
Sankaa,
I know what you mean. Better safe than sorry.
Bhunte,
Thankyou for endorsing Czar! I appreciate his thoughtfulness and your endorsement.
oys_chill,
There is violance every where, I agree with you.
Logical Sence,
Thank you for the information on CAN. I will definitely contact them once I am there.
Dear All, I really appreciate your feed back. It has been really hard decision for me to make. I have no one to look after my aging parents and I cannot risk my daughter. What a dilemma!!
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 02:37 PM
Bhunte bru,
before you open your sarcastic mouth, please reread the line. It does not represent my opinion on who the target is. And yes, you cannot imagine stuff or over dramatize the ground realities, from thousands of miles away by reading the news online.
iti, in peace.
WRONG THREAD MA HAT HALECHU! tare maam!
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 02:45 PM
oys birdar,
i know it is not your original. but, i quoted you. where it went wrong then?
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| _kopila_ |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 03:21 PM
Thank you all for your thoughts. It is an inspiration to see so many feedbacks. It really makes a difference. So many opinions and conclusions and at the end you got to do what you got to do.
Regards to all.
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| sankaa |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 03:38 PM
Bhunte jyu,
Is it necessary to argue on everything? sometimes simply agreeing, giving inputs or keeping the mouth shut might be a wise idea too, i think. just my two cents.
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 03:43 PM
sankaa jyu,
kahile dekhi ko ris nikaleko ho? la la maile tyo pani tha paye....jpt sankaa gardai nahinnus, security guard ko fela ma parnu hola....
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| lonely |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 03:44 PM
I am also in the same confussion. I will be graduating soon...finishing my MBA...I am not sure what happens, after that...I wish I could find a decent job back home....I would love to be back..with family and friends....
I am starting to look for jobs, any suggestions are welcome....
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| psychodreamer |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 03:49 PM
There are more than 20 million people in nepal.
Lets not that be pessimistic and aassume that 50% are not happy and 50% are happily living in Nepal. That makes more than 10 million people happily living in Nepal. _Kopila_ may be you are one of them.
I can't imagine myself migrating country to country just to escape your own country.
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 03:54 PM
if u have american MBA, u will be snatched away like an eagle taking away its pray from hundreds feet above ground... i think u better visit mba thread created by ashu sometime ago
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| sewak |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 04:02 PM
I talked to one dai who came recently from Ktm. He told me that only outside KTM, we hear negative news about Kathmandu. It may not be that bad after all. Obviously, there are disturbances like bandhs, julus, etyadi. Seems like KTMbasi are used to with those things.
But I wonder what type of job you can get such as in IT, banking or other export oriented industries. That may make a difference.
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| czar |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 06:51 PM
Kopila,
My thoughts on the other IT regions of the world was in light your struggle to find an IT job in the US.
What Logical Sense said, a savvy and experienced IT hand, makes a lot of sense if you were to continue staying in America. As you may already be aware, the IT regions are the Silicon Valley area, the Bay Area, the Washington DC/Northern VA/MD area, the Boston corridor, the NY area, Chicago, Dallas-Ft. Worth-Austin and the Atlanta region.
Consider that the school region will be an issue in two years from now as your child heads for grade 1. Commute times and living costs are another factor to weigh. Of course, one can't afford to be choosy when faced with no choice.
As for Germany, they have made the disconcerting discovery that domination in engineering and chemicals/medicine may not see them through into this new century in the comfort they now take for granted. They are grasping at IT, but it does seem a muddled venture.
Other than SAP, Germany has almost no visible presence in IT. Siemen's half-hearted attempts just don't cut it. This may present an opportunity for you. Depending on the region, the local populace has known to be hostile to darker skinned foreigners though.
If things dont work out for you in America, head for Canada if you are not already a permanent resident here. Thats your best and quickest bet in the circumstances. As the American economy takes off, the knock on effect on Canada will be substantial. In a couple of years, with their passport firmly gripped in your hand, you can always wander south at your convenience.
Oys: I am with you in that there is no 'home' but home. As I have learnt to to accept, home is where ever I lay my head to sleep each night.
Those that are part of the diaspora have to accept that this is part of the price paid for being here. This where the sajha community adds so much to our lives in providing us the means to reach out to each other.
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| sankaa |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 07:50 PM
duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, bhunte dai, security guard ray? kina ra? mailay testo k biraya hajur? ma yaha sajha aayako dherai bhayo, hajur ko posting eakdami ramro lagcha.. tara sadai hajur defensive or offensive mood ma matra lekhnu huncha, tesai lay ali ali curious bhayako matra ho hajur.. kunai bela ko res nikalayako hoina hajur. malayee mero daju bhai sangha rees oothdai na... aru kura na sochnu hola hajur..hajur lay pheree bush dai layee phone garay ra security guard lagayee dinay hola ma gareeb Nepali layee hajur.. teso na garum hai?
yeti bidwan polite bhayana bhanay buddhi ko k kam hajur... arko 2 paisa..
it's out of the context , but just fYI
it's sankaa= sankee. not shanka as suspicion.
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 19-Sep-03 09:23 PM
sankaa,
lau maile ghunda teke prabhu...ehehe
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| najar |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 08:04 AM
Despite seeing this topic many times had chosen to remain silent until could not resist my temptation any further.
With due respect to fellow posters, i beg to differ with the voice of majority!
Returning to Nepal is a choice you make depending on how you weigh different factors/priorities/interests that matters to you and your kins. There is no right or wrong, better or worse decision. And there is tradeoffs you make, merits and demerits you gain/lose. I have been at home for less than two weeks now. Based on the observation in this period in the valley (have not travelled to elsewhere yet) , yes, the situation in Nepal is not very conducive. Maoists are way more powerful than we would like to think they are, life is undeniably affected! Its devastating to hear the horrifying news in an ongoing and worsening manner.HOWEVER, it is not what we think based on our nepalnews.com readings in the US. I too, had my apprehension and anxiety of coming home esp when the violence had just reescalated. But its not what i thought it would be. Please be clear that I am not trying to defend maoists either as they have shot dead the people my families have close ties with, that too fairly recently.
So i know the pain to some degree.
I don't know whether people are used to it or have given up the hope-- life seems to be going on.
Focusing to teh main issue of the thread YES, the opportunies STILL DO exist. On talking to my contemporaries (both western trained as well as locally/regionally educated) and prospective employers, I have been amazed to see the potential (not quite sure about the IT area so much). There is quite a bit going on.
It would undoubtedly be much better had the country been blood-shed, power struggle free. But regardless, people seem to be absorbed into what they are doing. A friend (a female), an Ivy league was working in Chitwan, a strong maoist infested area for about two years until fairly recently , and she was fine living/working there despite strong worries in her family. I have other family members scattered in the country.
Also, just being at home with the family with a sense of belonging compares to
NOTHING.Yes, there is a risk, a sense of fear while walking on the street, restlessness while your family member is at work, school or running others errands--yet opportunities, potentials, and warmth still welcome you to the land you belong! I have lived, travelled to several coutries ( this is not just a tourist hop in for a day/two, and feel free to label me with a self-promoter) during hte course of my education as a study abroad, internship(s), relief work, community service, summer, spring break visits
and during my brief employment period but nowhere do i feel at home besides my real home. This holds true even during this war period!
So Kopilaji, if I were you, I would carefully think of my interests and priorites and make a decision based on that. You and your kid will be at risk just as the rest of nepali families are. Just personal view, no offense to anyone.
I also am aware that people could think--i am biased because i am too euphoric to be at home, too naive about hte country, conclusion drawn based on short time frame or just from the valley, too optimistic,unrealistic or others. Few factors which may be why i am overlooking the risk could be due to following bits, pieces and glimpses in a non-sequential trend.
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| najar |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 08:07 AM
--starting from Kopila ji's concern--if you hold a good academic credential and confidence, job prospect do exist here. Organizations show greater interest in you than you going after them. But you do have to be proactive in making iniatives and contacts.
-----------------------
--have been enjoying public transportation, touring around the city. They have expanded quite extensively with several microbuses (dhuwa niyantrit), large buses and in additional routes. They seem to be less crowded than when i was here few years ago, pollution has relatively lessened. Pyalo tyausi like haamro poonte dai's expense has skyrocketed, and for that mattter everything is kathmandu has become very expensive.
--Hanging out with cousins, friends you have not seen for long, catching up and picking up where it was left.
--Not feeling "different" or "of color"
--After staying at home for whole two consecutive days during the 3-day bandh, went to a long walk with my father on the third day. He took me to the nearby park where both my parents go for a morning walk. I had told him, considering how much i have been eating in the recent few days i would need to start working out soon. He showed me where i could run, and said i could run with him while mom walks around. The only concern is waking up too early. In the park people from all walks of life had gathered--kids, teens, couples, budha budhi etc guff gaaffing, eating peanuts, drinking sodas (ktm ko real Soda paani), eating chatpats, analyzing political situation. Post-park, he took me via another route further up the hill following a gai (a cow) :-), telling me who's moved there, who's building a house, where would this road would lead etc. During the walk running into the people i have not seen for years, simply exchaning the greetings, reminiscing the good ole days in this area made me realize what i have been missing.
My father telling me about the political fronts, his views, updating me on our family friends, naatedaars, talking about his work, my work, and other conversations...these are the things I would never NEVER get to experience abroad, absolutely PRICELESS.
--It could just by my beginner encounter but at the airport and the post office (sundhara) government officers have become much nicer and helpful. At the airport this time around did not get much hassle. Our post box at sundhara had long expired ,
so rather than a painful process of renewel that was long due, we decided to reapply. The application was approved and ready to use in less than a week when it took over a month several years ago when i was studying in STXC.
--Visited Pashupatinath yesterday morning, and it is much cleaner, less crowded and thus pleasant to visit than it was few years ago. All the street vendors have been removed and building taken down. Lockers, and racks are available to leave your shoes at a very reasonable price. My mom says they won't allow her to take even flowers in a plastic bag. Simply walking in the area was spiritual. Water is gorging in Bagmati river as opposed to filth just few years ago.
--For people with western food and/or other needs, almost anything can be purchased without much difficulty, not that i care so much about it. Infact, bought few beautiful kurta suruwals, had dillibajar's JERI SWARI today. Have eaten momos, sekuwas
at random places. And have been eating home made heavy cals food everymeal.
Also, checked out Himalayan cafe java, but was not very impressed with it, too westernized. Instead, have not been able to say NO to chiya offered at every house i visit :)
-----------------------------
And before anyone draws any inference on my postings, YES i do miss the US!
and knots of fear sweeps through me everytime i step out the house.
Without a single doubt get utterly disgusted and immensely disheartend on hearing more and more killing, looting, destruction act prevailing in the country.
-------------
more tasteful/distasteful updates as i encounter :)
|
| SimpleGal |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 08:21 AM
Kopila ji, your concerns are valid and real. And so are the suggestions offered to you. But what Najar has recounted is something equally worth considering, esp. since she is in the thick of things and not speculators like most of us who are living abroad and reading nepalnews.com. It's essential to be practical, but at the same time, I fully concur with Najar's views. Of course, the decision lies in your hands. I wish you luck! As long as you believe in your potentials, opportunities are not lacking anywhere.
In peace.
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| dautari |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 09:01 AM
Well, I was in Nepal until just a month back and I heard from my family members that the situation has detiorated since then. Public safety is the main concern. Yes, it is true that the MB's have not yet targeted the civilians. But, what if they resort to urban guerilla tactics? Night curfews add to the safety concerns for people.
Economically, it will not be difficult for people like kopila jee to find a decent job. Even in this 21st century, "amrika-returns" do have a very good chance in Nepal. In general, Nepal's economy is going down. But, in my opinion, you may not have a problem.
I am not sure how you will be looked upon as a single mom. Our new generation will not be a problem for you but there are still many people with older perspective on society.
If I were you, I would not go back to Nepal at this time .. under the current circumstances in Nepal. Yes, security will be my main concern. If you want to hole yourself up in the Kathmandu city... that still won't be much of a problem. But once you step outside ring-road - let alone the char bhanjyang - you may have to defend yourself from not only the maoists but also from the security forces.
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| Brook |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 09:14 AM
I agree with Najar. I've been back for about three months now. Started working and all that. And it hasn't been too bad.
I do live in Kathmandu but my home isn't too far from where Amar Lama was shot in broad daylight. We have unspoken curefews every night. Prithvi Narayan Shah broke us before entering Kathmandu Valley, so presumably the invaders today will do the same. And we have already received a bomb scare which fortunately turned out to be a hoax. It was a package that came in the name of my mother. So take a stock of the hysteria we live in yourself.
But friends, family and all that good stuff aside, even if Czar's doomsday were to descend on us, as a jetho-chhora of the family, I am mighty glad that I'm around. Simply because I'd hate to read of the Fall of Kirtipur on NepalNews.
Suggestions given to Kopila ji above are all wonderful and comprehensive. There is nothing I could possibly add but I guess it's simlpy a matter of priority- how much weight you put on what.
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| _kopila_ |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 09:54 AM
I am willing to put all my bets on the table only if Kathmandu is safe. If I can take my daughter to school and head to work that's will be enough for me at this time. I know I can contribute a lot to the society and the nation by leveraging my experience once peace prevails however for now I am only looking for survival.
Really appreciate the feed back from all of you, esp. from nasar. You insights are invaluable and will be looking forward to more of it.
I have not made my final decission to make the final move yet.
I am honored and touched by so many caring souls. Thank you.
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| _kopila_ |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 10:00 AM
Najar sorry for the typo and wrong spelling of your name.
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| Ruby |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 01:20 PM
Nepal is safe.
But the industry is in deep depression.
NARESH NEWAR
As news of the breakdown of the ceasefire spread, Nepals tourism industry suffered a tide of cancellations for the autumn season. Many even cancelled their tickets from Bangkok airport, choosing to go to India instead. The few groups who braved the media representations of a nation in conflict were pleasantly surprised. They have this to say to fellow travellers: Nepal is still safe for tourists. This is not our war.
Siobhan OReilly was trekking in the Annapurna Conservation Area in late August when she heard the news. Now back in Kathmandu, she feels there is no real threat to people like her. I actually had a good time and the only problem was the excessive traffic jam along the highway because of the security checks, OReilly says. In fact, the young Irish lawyer is so impressed with Nepal she is off to Everest Base Camp this week with a group of friends from South Africa.
Im more worried about the weather than anything, says Arne Hofkamp, a 23-year-old architect from the Netherlands, who had initially no clue about the situation in Nepal till he got to Bangkok and received a thumbnail sketch from other passengers. Not that it bothered me. From what I hear, the worst thing that could happen is paying off the Maoists, says Hofkamp. Maybe theyll give me a discount!
A number of tourists we spoke to in Thamel told us their Nepali tour operators seemed more worried about their safety than they were. Initially when I was home the news made me nervous, but now Im not worried at all, says Bruijnen Pieter who plans to mountain bike from Lhasa through Kodari to Kathmandu.
Arie Ocidenarrde and Bianca Vanderwal were quite annoyed when the locals constantly reminded them of potential dangers. Most of them told us not to go out of the Valley. They were being overcautious, says Ocidenarrde. Ill encourage my people to visit Nepal because theres nothing to worry about, says Vanderwal.
For Israeli tourists Owen Bromberg and his girlfriend, the conflict is the least of their concerns. They still think Nepal is safer than India, or Israel. We didnt take any local guides with us, they say. This is nothing like the suicide bombers we face in our streets, adds Bromberg. The two are headed on a month-long trek to Annapurna Base Camp.
Even American tourists dont feel particularly threatened. You hear a lot of rumours at home and especially Bangkok, but the feeling is different here. Tourists need to come here and find out for themselves, says Meg Anderson (see pic, top), who calls herself a global adventure traveller. Meg and her friends are now already on their way to Everest Base Camp. If they dont like Americans, well say were Spanish, says her friend Ryan Smith, laughing. He is unfazed by the recent news of Maoist harrassment, and threats against Americans. I wouldnt worry so much about it, and miss out the great adventure that is Nepal.
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| Dilasha |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 07:00 PM
Hello there Najar! nice to read your posting and I'm glad that you've been having a good time. Yes, there's no place better than "home" Seriously, I feel that I could pack my bags the very next day, hop in the plane and boom I'm at home! I am envious now :) I too am planning to return after I finish my masters and that I guess will take at least two more years. Then I could come home for good, build a small "jhopadi" on top of a hill overlooking the snowcapped mountains and live a simple life eating home grown fruits and vegetables, raising chickens and ducks...ya know a very typical countryside life . Well, at least that's what i'm dreaming of right now. :)
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| sankaa |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 07:02 PM
looks like someone else is dreaming my dream too ;)
can i build a small jhopadi right by yor jhopadi Dilasha???
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 22-Sep-03 07:29 PM
Sankaa jyu,
hajur ko Khopadi ma bhaye tapai le chahe jasto Jhopadi abasse nai hune chha...tara malai dherai sankaa garne neighbourhoood man pardaina...ehehe
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 23-Sep-03 01:31 AM
There is nothing that can substitute the value of happy moment with one's family. One should visit his/her family as often as possible. Also, I don't see any deemer prospectus for foreign educated returnee in Nepal. Only concern is the current situation there, but thats still not a problem for ordinary citizens. But for active politicians and their families, the problem is horrendous. Most people in that category are very anxious and running here and theer. They are mostly sheltering in district HQ and capital cities. However, it seems like Nepali people have also started a feeling that it is part of their lives, as in Palestine, israel, or Kashmir.
I also found plenty of opportunities in Nepal. But it is meaningless when most of the development activities in the country has virtually stopped because of the security situation. One may see development in paper, but doubt if it has reached to the target population for most part of it. It would be tautological to say security is the priority before development. But the pooint is still valid. Otherwise why USA would have spend trillions of dollars to strengthen its internal and external security after 911? We have also seen it creating the Dept of Home Land Security. So, one should understand Kopila's concern from depth.
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| bideshi |
Posted
on 23-Sep-03 08:16 AM
Najar,after reading your description about how u r enjoying in Nepal,I too feel like going back for a vacation or so.Yea,I miss my country a lot ,specially my family and friends.I live in dillibazar ,so I know how is it to walk along that road,even though it's not clean and polluted.I know I would definitely feel the sense of belongings over there when I know most of the pasales over there,mote ko pasal,nakkali ko pasal ,jutta pasal, batule ghar,titaura pasal and so on.And they know me too.It's fun to be around people u know since yor childhood.I miss STXC college too,specially father brooks staring eyes when we were being naughty,nirmal sir's funny but pleasant accent,father watrin always cool headed and specially how we were locked inside the compund and many more good old memories I do have from that college.I miss St mary's and and friends from there.I miss many things back from home specially my parents love ,my mom's pleasant aduwa haleko mitho chiya and many more tasty nepali food which I am never able to make up to that standard and taste no matter how hard I tried over here.My dad's always warning us to be extra more careful specially with locks and keys which I always used to misplace and their unconditional love and warmth which I will never find no matter whereever I go in this planet or universe.
I will definitely go back to Nepal one day but right now,I have to live here in US with all good old memories.But I'll go to Nepal soon in a vacation.
So najar,have fun and enjoy!
And take care too!
|
| dautari |
Posted
on 23-Sep-03 09:46 AM
Bideshi:
So you miss STXC and Fr.Brooks, eh? Well, when I last spoke to Fr.Brooks when I was in KTM a couple of months back, he told me he'd be coming to the US in Dec. He said he'd be in Minnesota but I forgot where in Minnesota. You can just drop him a line ... and maybe you can go and see him when he is in the US.
Fr.Watrin is in Cincinnati for his chemotherapy. But he will be going back to Nepal very soon to receive his Gorkha Dakshin Bahu from the King.
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| bideshi |
Posted
on 23-Sep-03 02:47 PM
Dautari,
Well,not miss them as a matter of fact!But I miss giving them trouble and my friends who love to give them trouble!I know those days would never come again (bas yade rahe jati hai,mithi mithi bate rahe jati hai) and that's why feel like going back at times!
Definitely,I miss my family and friends!By the way r u also from STXC?
I'm now is denver and don't think I can go and visit them.
By the way do u have father watrin's email address?I would love to wish him recovery and congrats!
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| bideshi |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 06:32 AM
Najar,what's going on with your life in Nepal?Please update all the funs u r getting over there!
|
| najar |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 08:29 AM
Thanks for all the responses! My intention was just to provide the other side of the spectrum, from the warzone so to speak :)
--------------------
Simpy, thank you.
Brook says -- "But friends, family and all that good stuff aside, even if doomsday were to descend on us, as a jetho-chhora of the family, I am mighty glad that I'm around.
Simply because I'd hate to read of the Fall of Kirtipur on NepalNews"
Brook, very sensitive and valid point you raise. I am absolutely with you on this. God forbid, if anything is to happen to my family, notification via third party or the nepalnews source is the last thing i'd want. By being here and all points i mentioned above, if my life is at risk, by all means--so be it!
And thank you for sharing your views. I was hoping you would :) And i hope you would give me a license to say that--Brook has been another very young western trained returnee, who's landed on a job that he greatly enjoys!
Btw, are you going to the south asian film festival ? There seems to be a good selection
of documentaries.
Kopilaji, no problem,, and thanks for making me special! It was just an attempt to provide a live report as it is happening. And talking about the risk and safety issue as i said above--you and and your kid will be just as at risk as the rest of the kathmanduites unless you have reason(s) to believe otherwise. Like any other society our valley too, harbors a good percentage of family with kids. Its really your call. I wish you luck in making a decision thats best for you and your kid.
Speaking of safety issue a good friend workign with a french NGO (name withheld) is travelling to Rukum tomorrow for about two weeks for her work! So, in my opinion its all relative...
Hello there Dilasha, your plan sounds good! I will visit you in your jhupadi on the top of the hill :)
Bhunte says: "But it is meaningless when most of the development activities in the country has virtually stopped because of the security situation"
Bhunteji, i don't think thats necessarily true. Considering your expertise you know
way better that i do that development is not just a narrow term and encompass a broad spectrum. Development has been hampered, for sure! but i would not call it "virtually stopped". The organizations i have talked to, almost all's work is going on--how effectively don't know. Will revisit this issue once i have empirical data at a later time.
Bideshi,
Thank you. Yes, its really good to be home. But naturally, do miss the friends and life of the US as well.For fun, hmmm...am spending a lot of time with my parents, ani visiting family and friends. I sometimes cook and clean these days :) My mom used to tell me--"kasto sinkaa pani nasaarni chhori paae chhu maile ta?, aakhir dosh ta malai nai aaunchha ni " and she is now thrilled that i have learned to cook and work :) she still gives me a glass of hot milk after dinner (arghh, i have always disliked it, tara still drink it for her sake). From tomorrow will drop by RUssian Sanskritik kendra to see the documentaries.
Was in your neighborhood today too, little further up to be precise (baagbazaar to pick a chudhiwala kurta suruwal that i had left for tailoring).Your neighborhood is still the same for the most part. But b/c there are no bikram tempos kaalo dhuwa seems to have
lessened. Chura pasals, and meethhai pasals still seem to be all over :)
And i hear ya regardig home! Will try keep posting re life in ktm time permitting and me gettign my act together--stay tuned, and for now enjoy the rocky mountains :)
------------------------
On another note, not only us nepalis but foreigners continue to visit the country too. Some friends from Ann Arbor are getting to the krantipur (SC, 03) sahar this weekend for a month long trip to nepal and india. Fully aware of the situation,
they will be making a trip to Sagarmatha base camp in the first half of the trip, and to Dharamsala in India the second half. If all goes well, I, myself am hoping to join them to the beautiful Kangra Valley, "the little lhasa of India" a home of Dalai Lama and about
3000 tibetans.
-----------
Haven't had a chance to eat peero titauras yet. (Now they are in baagbazar, newroad areas. The ones in the ratnapark have been taken down.) The throat pain and khoki i developed at teh new york sajha extravaganza has not gone yet--hopefully, soon!
More on ktm-- just heard on a 8 o' clock news that some 300 political supporter of 5 parties protesting in ratnapark, baagbazaar were "peacefully arrested" for violating a "nishedhaagya".
Suvaraatri!
|
| bideshi |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 09:27 AM
Yea,I remember going to kangan in bagbazar for kurta surwal.The man over there,I think his name was Ramesh,used to cheat a lot ,so whatever price tag he used to put on kurta, we used to deduct half of it and bargain used to start from there.Fun huh! How we used to bargain and finally used to get reasonable price(thought so,but don't know).
And I remember dillibazar ko not only jeri swari but also lalmohan!Mukhai rasayo!Yum!
Anyway,najar have fun!Make your parents happy.My mom used to call me the same kasto khi nagarne,jhinga sudda namarne!HA ha ha! Now I feel like going home and cooking for my parents.How I wish I could do that now,right away!I think I'm good at cooking now!I learnt a lot.
Lau ta lau,have fun.Masti garnu!
subharatri!!
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 10:07 AM
Hello Kopila ji:
I sympathize with you regarding your dilema. Yes, life can be/is hard both in Nepal as well as USA, but at a time when many youth have been trying desperately (I know for a fact from many of my friends, with good education and living in Nepal) to get out of the political mire, unemployment rut and security mess you might want to think really hard upon your choices; your daughter's future and your own abilities (as a single parent) to navigate your personal and professional life in Nepal. And yes, on the other hand there are your parents.
No doubt, we can all for whatever reasons or purposes glorify a life in Nepal and/or USA but the fact remains, how you make your choices affect your daughter's life/future.
I talked to my mother last week and she was mugged in broad daylight at a tarkari pasal. Two men on a bike came and shoved her while grabbing her purse and making away with it. She was at the wrong place at the wrong time!!!! But, it also seems that many, that week, had been at the wrong place at the wrong time!
I agree with Bhunte ji, one of the best places for a single mom is USA and as Logical Sense stated, we do have free education here. I understand from your posting, you have an IT background; would you consider making a change in profession; a field that needs professionals desperately??? EDUCATION!!!! Would you consider teaching as a profession??? I could you give you names of counties that would take in your child as well as give you a job while training you in Special Education at John's Hopkins. You and your child can be at the same school system; you would not have to worry about early dismissals, weather hazards and/or coordinating oddtime vacations. Also, you would have summer and winter vacations that would allow you to visit Nepal. If, not having a job, is your only reason for leaving US, then your problem is solvable. I may sound pro-US at the moment but having worked with many single parents, US does empower a woman; you have the freedom to make or break your choices!. As a working female, I can strongly as well as objectively state that US has given me freedom, mobility and opportunities that I could not otherwise get in KTM. Mind you, I did work in Nepal before I came here and there are many reasons why I came here, not just for an education.
Last summer, I went to Nepal and was conducting interviews(almost 50 people of ages 16yrs-40yrs) with youths regarding chat culture. I was able to interact with youths at a level that gave me a pretty dismal picture of the state of many in KTM. Lack of jobs caused many to idle away precious time and money at cyber cafes, tea shops and or streets. There are many with jobs but there are many more without; even those who returned from US were having a hard time finding jobs in their fields. Do I sound dismal, disheartening and/or morbid? Well, guess what, it's what I experienced last year; and the situation was NOT anywhere close to what it is now. I felt the stagnation, sensed the desperation, as well as the deep-seated dejection of many who had tried but had given up.
So, Kopila ji think long and hard; you have your daughter's education to consider too; with the bandhs, not many schools are open at the moment.
I wish you all the best and my positive energies to you and your daughter. May you have the strength to make the appropriate decision for you and yours.
|
| najar |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 10:27 AM
Sitara,
With due respect..yes, you are making valid points, but at teh same time i sense a "bad pick" in choosing to live in Nepal. Although your posting was not addressed to me, allow me to say that despite all what you have said--some of us consciously choose to live here, i guess difference in priority/interests, and see the existing opportunities first hand at teh same time enjoying whats offered.
I rest my case.
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 11:04 AM
Hi Najar:
I am glad you are having good experiences in Nepal and I hope that you continue doing so. And no, my posting was not addressed to you but at Kopila ji who many have different responsibilities and/or circumstances(unlike yours) being a single mother, having to fend for herself as well as for her child. But, ofcourse the choice is hers and as she has written in Sajha asking for opinions and suggestions from well wishers, we can only offer that and wish her the best.
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 11:05 AM
may*
|
| _kopila_ |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 12:21 PM
Sitara,
As a single mom it would be hard for me in Nepal to survive. I agree. Life for a single parent is never easy to begin with in Nepal or USA.
I appreciate your feelings for living in US and sharing it, I used to feel the same way. Even tough the primary education in US is free the tax rate that makes me work one day out of week also funds my daughter's education (part of it). It reminds me of a comment someone made to me when I first came to US -nothing is free. I tend to believe in that now-a-days even for education of my child when she will start school and I do not have to pay every month. We also have higher property tax. We pay it one way or the other. I will have to pay for my daughter's education, yearly :-)
As far as people in Nepal are concerned and their willingness to move aboard I do not blame them, I used to feel the same way. The grass is greener on the other side as always. Since I have been there and done that I do not have that fantasy anymore.
I can always try-out alternate careers that leverage some of my education and experience. I had a bitter experience when I tried to change my career once and realized it was a mistake. I would rather do what I do best.
Najar,
I really appreciate your thoughts and view. Please keep it coming.
Ruby,
Thank you for the article. You have made the point
To all,
I appreciate the thoughts and concerns.
If I can assure myself that I can take my daughter to and from school, safely I would rather be in Nepal with my parents than in US away from my parents.
|
| Bhunte |
Posted
on 24-Sep-03 06:56 PM
Najar said ".... God forbid, if anything is to happen to my family, notification via third party or the nepalnews source is the last thing i'd want. By being here and all points i mentioned above, if my life is at risk, by all means--so be it! ...."
Personally I'm very touched with it. My hats off to Najar ji for her high spirit, nationalism, and heroism. The path she has chosen, her determination and leadership will be inspiring to many of us here. It is high time to reconcile differences among us for national unity and fight for truth. By any sense my earlier assertions are not meant to discourage to those who r volunteering for a nation building when the nation is in crisis, rather mere personal observation.
The development issue there is very complicated one. I visited and talked to people of various walks of life during my very brief stay in the capital. Since you are staying there long, I would like to hear your observations when you revist the issue.
Sitara jyu, where can i find the article you wrote about chat culture? Sorry to learn that mamu's purse was snatched. hmm... katai Sugreev haru le Guda ko avatar dharan gareko ta hoina...ya things are worsening there and thats one example.
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| najar |
Posted
on 25-Sep-03 07:42 AM
Sorry for all the grammatical errors and typos, readers are thus requested to read by correcting my third world poor angrezi, for i am too lazy to go back and amend them...and as Suna says--angrezi is neither my mother's tongue nor my father's tongue :)
Having said that...
Bideshi, the jyaala was Rs. 195 with "milaera" :)
-------------------------
While I sympathize Sitara's mom for being mugges, mugging is not an emerging/new phenomena in Nepal nor anywhere. I remember my mother was mugged when i was in forth grade. She did not have too much money i believe, but was disappointed that a purse my father brought to her from australia was snatched away. Snatching away of gold chains in Nepal have been long heard on the buses, temples or in the crowded area. Not only in Nepal, two friends in the spring break of 02 were mugged in Paris
in a broad day light making an Indian girl go to India before returning to school for her passpart/visa as well were gone. A friend's whole business bag was stolen during lunch in a busy Manhattan deli while she'd gone to grab her food, just recently.
Bhunte ji,
It might be redundant to bring my rationale yet again. But my coming home was purely a personal decision--nothing less, nothing more. It was not inspired by nationalism, patroitism, quest for leadership, heroism or heroinism :) of any sort! Several others have returned including few prominent sajhaites. Mine is explicit because i am saying here. So there is nothing spectacular about it. But thanks for your kind words anyway, what harm in accepting all those good stuff, albeit undue! And sure, we will revisit the development issue once i have a solid grasp of it.
-----------------------
My original intention was just to provide life as it was seen in in the valley by which Kopila ji could get perspective from both sides of the coin, as others had presented only one half. And my attempt was to lay out the information rather than telling her which was right/wrong, or better/worse for that matter, and incorporating that with a personal story as it was developing, unfabricated! Kopilaji, i hope you resolve your predicament, and let us know what you decide :)
I think i have said all i needed to say, more than enough infact. Therefore, I am OUT of this thread.
Signing off
najar
see you all dem good peapal in other threads!
-------------------------------
p.s.---one more sentence : in the archives of books from my school days, found my autograph. Its really amusing and reminiscing going through it. I would write it here, but don't want to digress teh already digressed thread. Could not find AUTOGRAPH
BHARNE thread either. San jiiiiii...you listening? kataa ho archive aajkal, if it exists?
|
| south |
Posted
on 25-Sep-03 08:53 AM
it is very nice to read all the posting here. like najar and her friends, i know couple of nepali who went back to nepal after getting education here in top schools. i also strongly believed that there is no place bette than home. to tell the truth, i have never felt happier than i was in nepal since i came here. it might not be true for all of us but in my case it is. though i am from middle class family from nepal, i never felt tensed and had pressure on anything. after coming here i always had some kind of problem, and always struggling with life. it does nt mean that i dotn want to struggle and dont want to work hard, but here we have lot of pressure. life is not all about earning money, for me family love and being with family with relatively much lower pay is far more acceptable than just getting more money here and living far from families and our society and country. well i think its only becuase of we do not have much opportunity in our country but i still believe that with good education one still can find good job there but we can nt compare pay with usa. we also need to think how much we need to pay for rent and all here and it is lot cheaper in nepal. living and working in nepal means no racial discrimination and we will be in our own country at least doing something giving from our side to our country and it is really great. most of us are not so couragious or may be little bit selfish and dont want to go back home but think again, we have our family there, our relaitves , our friends and many more who are living life there. our own parents and brothers and sisters are living same life there and we also lived similar life until few years ago so why we think like we can not live in such society. this is kinda opportunist nature, if japanese used to think same after 2nd world war then japan whould not be like this. we can not escape away just telling like life is not secured in nepal, 23 million people are living there. i totally agree what maoist are doing is not good and killing people is the worst way to fulfill their demand.
for kopila didi, i think you should go to nepal and ia m sure you can get job, at least teacing as there are a lot of colleges in town which teaches computer related courses in computer engineering, information technolog, bachelor in computer application and so on. i am sure you will find one good job there. as far as your daughter and her education is concerned, there are thousands of kids who are like your daughter. there are pretty good school in nepal too and your daughter will get very good education there too. as of my experiences, this does nt apply to your daughter, it is far better to study in good college in nepal than just going to average universities in usa. unless you go to top schools in usa, i bet you wont match the product of IOM, IOE, BPKIHS,rampur agruculture, pokhara forestry. being here without job is very very difficult and i wotn suggest anyone with univeristy degree to stay here without job and work as a low level worker. it will be far better there in nepal with much less salary. so i will suggest you to go back and admist your daughter to one of the good schools. good luck.
|
| sankaa |
Posted
on 25-Sep-03 09:58 AM
Last night I got high , and my unconsious mind ;) via ' memory lane express' took me to the scene when i was granted visa to come over here. I just wished and wished that i wasn't granted the visa and i just thought and thought how different my life would've been if i was denied back then.
I could've saved lots of my dad's savings. I did not have to be in debt which is going to make me work like a dog for at least 2 years. I could see my dad, and take care of him in those desperate days when he needed his son; i could say him good bye. I could gradute smoothly and hold degrees without washing dishes or mopping hallways. I would not have to take shit for being a darkey. I would not have to worry about finding jobs or be hopeful from a stupid khernee. i could eat nice bhuja and tarkari cooked by my mom, i could still look sexy with good diet and less stress. Over all , i would be happy.
Then i again, i thought about it when i went there last year. why the hell they didn't deny me when i went back home last year. however, it was so different when i went to the consulate last year. My first time, i was praying gods to have them give me a visa. However, last year, i was praying gods to have them deny me. I was there cuz of the pressure from my family who were not convienced by me with all the stories that i should live in Nepal.
I again thought and thought how much my life would've been different if i was denied last year. I could live with my mom. take care of her when she was depressed and needed her son. I could've saved myself from all the heart brEAKs and shit over here. I would have been saved from the hard dog-life summer(last summer), and the winter break. I wouldn't have to borrow money to pay my tution which is increasing along with my stress level.
Why do we even come to the USA? I think ,it worths to live here and take all these shit for foreigners if you have a secure job, secure partner and your family is here, with secure status.
However, how often do you feel secure in the USA? i haven't felt once. there is always worries, always bills, always responsibilities, always stress. and if you happen to be out of job for like 3 months , then you're screwed. These big corporates and credit card companies are making you work like a donkey ,and yo don't even realize it. There are responsibilities back in Nepal too, but they are not as stressful as they are here.
When i went to Nepal last year. I felt like everything is mine. Every person i see in the street is mine. the person in a pasal talks like me and , i didn't have to worry if he was going to be racist or going to ask me if i was from the middle east. Everything was mine. It was a unique feeling that i have never noticed before, and i felt blessed to be born in Nepal.
I came back here. I had to pay my rent, my credit cards and what not shit. Then i had to start job right away. Next morning i had to wake up and go to class and then shit loads of stress. And then same ol' shit, like you know, you go to bars and all these red neck putos look at you like you're from the mars or something.
No matter how American you try to be in the USA. No matter how better your job is. You will always be unhappy. Just ask yourself; Are you happy? It's better to live in Nepal than to be Alien. haha they call us aliens, what the heck, do i have an antenna? And you want to live here? what for , i do not understand. what the point of that dollar yo umake if yo always feel like you're missing something.
I am not trying anyone to convience to go back to Nepal. I am just expressing my thoughts /experiences. adios...
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| _kopila_ |
Posted
on 26-Sep-03 05:45 PM
I miss Nepal very much as well. Didn't someone say that mother and mother land is greater than every thing else (heaven). It sure feels that way.
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I am determined more than ever to go back. Thank you all.
|
| oys_chill |
Posted
on 26-Sep-03 06:16 PM
Sanka bru,
thanx for sharing your experiences. It is certainly those phases more or less we have all been through here. We all know how happy and endearing life we would have lived in Nepal. But then again, sometimes I wonder, If I had lived in Nepal specially with that dire thirst to see the West, How would I know all these unimaginable hardships we're facing here? The best part about coming to US for me has been the realization of what Home is, and personally for me, US can never be my home.
To an average nepali in Nepal, US is jsut like what they show in movies. My friends constantly bug me over emails on how to apply. I tell them horror stories of my freinds from ocean city..they are not ready to accept......k garne......the least i can say is "prepare for the worst". N sanka jyu, absolutely agree with you....we'll always remain aliens here no matter how well we do here, and the worst of it all, u malvinate in a society, and develop views like " I AM TOO GOOD FOR NEPAL ", like some people have repeatedly spewed here in Sajha.
**
As for kopila jyu,
the choice is yours. I have seen people go back to Nepal n got more frustrated, go back to nepal and are doing well, and people who have come back to US and felt aliens, or came back to US and are doing well. There's a broad spectrum out there..and living in this precarious world today, its up to you to ensure you are happy, safe and satisfied with your life.
Rest, as they say, different strokes for different folks!!
|
| Bhunte |
Posted
on 26-Sep-03 06:27 PM
Tarrrrrrrrrrrra Tam
Tarrrrrrrrrrrra Tam
Dharrrrrrrrrra Dam
Darrrrrrrrrrra Dam
Farka hai Nepali
Farka Nepal ma
Desh ko Bikas garna lai
Yedi Banchnu nai chha bhane
Bancha Nepali bhai
Yedi Marnu nai chha bhane
Mara Matribhumi ko kakha ma
Left Right Left
Left Right Left
Tarrrrrrrrrrrra Tam
Tarrrrrrrrrrrra Tam
Dharrrrrrrrrra Dam
Darrrrrrrrrrra Dam
|
| khimu |
Posted
on 26-Sep-03 06:27 PM
me too, i wanna go back to Nepal mothelad ta parai jawas i wanna to see my mom.
ama hey ama
hey meri ama
aaudai chha chhora
parkhi basnu batoma
barsau din ko bichhodaile
samjhana auchha ghari ghari
ama jasto kohi chhainana
samundra pani anek thari
paidal aau bhane samundra chha
udera aau bhane pakheta chhaina
ama hey ama
hey meri ama
ama lai samjhana
|
| ashu |
Posted
on 27-Sep-03 10:08 AM
Kopila,
Good luck with all your decisions.
Let me know if I can be of assistance in any way AFTER you've come back to Nepal.
Even when I can't help directly, I'll probably know people who can be of assistance.
And yes, feel free to use this Sajha Network all the more as a short-cut to information andknowledge about -- well -- how to live, survive, be happy and productive in this so-called yam between the two stones.
To twist an old song, we are all together in Nepal.
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
|
| Suna |
Posted
on 28-Sep-03 04:38 AM
_kopila_
Rather late in the game here but I thought I could still add my two cents.
The decision of bringing up children here in the US is a HUGE one. More so when you are single as you will be the only one making the decisions.
Living in the states as a single mother has many advantages.
Millions who are in the same boat therefore you don't feel like you're being stigmatized.
Living with supportive family
Priceless
One of the issues I have with rearing children in the states is that there is no feeling of family environment. As much as I do socialize here, the children miss out tremendously that wonderful experience of growing up with zillions of cousins, uncles and aunts. :)
But as someone mentioned earlier, I hope people have become more open to different family setups: single moms, etc etc.
Najar!
You have put forth wonderful points. Makes me want to visit.
So young and yet so grounded!! AHHH intelligence, beauty, and youth! deadly potion.
Do you have an email address??
For those who don't know me :) please don't think I'm hitting on Najar,
I am a female, AND not into women!
:)
|
| _kopila_ |
Posted
on 28-Sep-03 10:08 AM
Ashu,
Thank you for your kind remarks. I will contact you once I am there.
Couldn't agree more as Nepali we are all in it together. I admire your sense of belonging and unity.
Suna,
Thank you for your feedback.
I am not worried about my single status and aware of the social dogmatic behavior that exists in Nepal. I can live with that. There are more advantages in bringing up family in Nepal than in US like you have said the social values are priceless.
Here in US social values does not exist. Every thing starts with me and ends at me; I mean social values. "individualism" has its benefits for sure but creates a selfish society.
For me the decision to go to Nepal is a personal one. There are other small reasons the main one is that I do not want to leave my aging parents on the hands of mercy.
|
| Echoes |
Posted
on 28-Sep-03 10:08 AM
Namaste all!
I decided to spend my Sunday morning hour reading this thread in its entirety. Very interesting thoughts and arguments, indeed. Particularly, the preliminary experiences of some of the posters who've recently gone back to Nepal might have seemed appealing for anyone considering a return.
Having lived in Nepal for years before coming to the United States, I feel it my social obligation to bring to the readers' attention a couple of issues less discussed here or not mentioned at all.
Most of the postings here really address on "Going back to Kathmandu", and very much not "Nepal". I lived most of my life outside Kathmandu and I claim to know well that what you see in Kathmandu is in no way a specimen of the rest of the country. I do not see it necessary to explain why and how it is different, but, would be happy to do so if anyone isn't convinced.
I worked in the grassroots of Nepal as a development worker for almost four years representing a foreign non-profit. As a part of this work, I had no choice but to work with all types of community leaders, including the Maoist activists. Each time I visited these communities, I clearly risked my life, for what I thought my intrinsic motivation to work in the grassroots and make a difference in people's lives. Later, in view of my other personal responsibilities, I decided I could no longer afford to risk my and my dependents' survival, therefore, quit the job and moved to the US. I want to return to Nepal when I can be able to safely go back to those villages and work with the people at the community-level again. I see Kathmandu-based development orgainzations as more of a hype than an effective institution.
So I urge the returnees to go to the villages and experience some of the real Nepal, as well, rather than just aspiring for an air-conditioned office in Kathmandu and a salary in USD. If you don't want to or cannot (like I couldn't) do the rough and potentially life-threatening work, you might as well stay in the US unless the reason you want to go back to Nepal is so that you could be with your folks in Kathmandu (or other personal causes), which makes sense.
BTW, the less crowded Pashupatinath might have just been a co-incidence ;). Nevertheless, I fail to see why that would indicate a better Kathmandu!
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| najar |
Posted
on 28-Sep-03 10:51 AM
Thought i would sign off and leave, but does not seem like i am done as yet :)
Echoesji, although my name is not explicit, i sense some of your postings are in response to mine... I ask you to please reread my posting. I did not say kathmandu is a better place because pashupati was less crowded. My point was it was much pleasant with the shops, vendors removed, and road wider, cleaner and appearing less crowded. If you revisit my posting again I have NEVER said Kathmandu or Nepal at large, has been better/ or is better than the US.
All i said is, it is not as bad as i thought it would be. And also, returning to nepal/staying in the US is based on one's interest/priority/and the corresponding decision. That's it!
I request readers to please not distort what i have written.
And i believe the rest of what you say....although don't know if i agree what you say re. ppl seekin USD and airconditioners working in ktm. From what i understand nepali citizens are paid by nepali standard and in nrs :) and not all the non-profits have a/c.
Since the postings have taken different shapes, let me also repeat again--i am NOT saying ktm is the best place on earth to live. I was just pointing out some positive aspects. Yes, there are ppl who want to leave the country, but then again there are people in the US or anywhere else who want to come home. Grass always appears greener on the other side.
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Awww Suna dear, thank you, flattered pardine bhanya, hatterika? :P
long time no see on sajha? kataaa? For e-mail just click on my name, and send it, hai? and I know you are not hitting on me, but does bhinaju have a flamboyant brother(s)/cousin(S)? ;) :P hehe
hope to catch up with you in person sometime!
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went to see "bhenda ko oon jasto--a search of a song" at teh south asian film festival today. Thoroughly enjoyed the documentary, so rich yet so simple. The director said he used nothing but the camera and four of them. I am sure Ashu will bring a brief overview of it :) if he happened to attend.
VillageVoice dai, was a pleasant surprise running into you!
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| Echoes |
Posted
on 28-Sep-03 11:35 AM
Najar-jyu,
ehehe. Well, well.
I didn't really mean or imply to question the thoughts and experiences you've shared on this thread. In fact, I've been an admirer of yours (ask some of your friends napatyae!), and continue to support your dedication. I was even thinking, if you decided to run for an office in Nepal, I would come and volunteer in your campaign!!
It was really intended to just add to the discussion in general and share my perspectives on some of the related things after having read everybody's postings. I did re-read your thread as you suggested, and yes, you have not said that Kathmandu is a better place to live than the US. But I also re-read my thread and couldn't find where I suggested that you did say so! You certainly didn't. Agreed. Risani maaf hos.
Yes, as of the last sentence on my posting (re. Pashupatinath), yes, I did pick that from one of your postings, and I should say, I just wanted to pick on you I guess, so that it would prompt you to write more, and we could read and enjoy more! Kura teso ho.
Regards,
Echoes.
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| Bhunte |
Posted
on 28-Sep-03 04:23 PM
Dear bravo birdar ((((((((((((((((*))))))))))))))
May Lord Pashupatinath keep watching on you with his third eye!
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 29-Sep-03 04:18 AM
k cha najar? enjoying kathmandu?
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| najar |
Posted
on 29-Sep-03 08:30 AM
Echoesji,
I too did not mean to address you in a negative sense. In fact, i encourage everybody that have doubts to raise a question so that i can further clarify what i have written. And thank you for sharing your experience. Hope to read more from you.
Be assured, there is absolutely no risaani, nor will there be unless a poster is disrespectful or offensivel. I think questioning, analyzing, and debating is a healthy trend.
And if your point of picking on my pashupati's comment was to bring me back, you are indeed successful. Now that i have returned here, and you want to keep hearing about ktm yo thread 300 hit garaune hoina ta? :P
I am honored to hear that you are an admirer of mine, but i don't deserve to get any more credit than other posters including you--the difference is that i happen to be little more vocal, at times, mood chaleko and in free time like this :)! Also, I do not need to ask my *friends* to validate your statement--happily take your words, thank you! btw--i do remember a nice chat i had with you a few months back.
I have no intention of running an office anytime soon, should i decide, i know who to contact now, you have said it on a record--there is no going back, hai? ;)
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Isolated Freak,
Thhik chha. Tapai ko ke chha ni? Enjoying Beijing? Kahile ho royal firti sawari for a chhutti? :)
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