| Sajha.com Archives | |
| Username | Post |
| yoUnGbLooDZ | Posted
on 28-Sep-03 09:15 PM
i have seen mostly.... i repeat mostly.. man don't easily say " I LOVE YOU" to a girl.. it takes em forever.. i mean girls r always a step or two forward in this kinda of cases.. .. why could be that.. is it because they r afraid they might get rejected or.. it is one of the way to show the manlyhood.. they hang out with the girl.. they date.. n perhaps more.. but its the girl who says love you at the first time.. why not guy.. the situation might not apply for everyone or every cases.. but i think it does in many.. so lets hear wut them sajhaite have ta say???? YB |
| sankaa | Posted
on 28-Sep-03 09:33 PM
This might help YB. Source is : www.askmen.com; highly recommended for all men to learn good stuff ;) Dear Curt, My wife has always encouraged me to express my feelings freely. I guess her main goal was to hear me say, "I love you" more often. At first, I felt a little reserved, but I soon realized that there was nothing wrong with expressing my feelings. I still remember the first time I told my wife that I love her. She had tears running down her cheeks, and seeing her joy made me feel happy in turn, and encouraged me to open up even more. From that moment on, it was clear that I should make my wife happy every day. I decided to tell her that I loved her as often as possible. Every time I saw her, left her presence, ended a telephone conversation, or made love to her, I would slip in the usual, "I love you." Lately, however, I've noticed that my wife no longer appreciates the three magic words. In fact, it seems that she gets anxious or annoyed every time I say, "I love you" -- especially if it follows a screw-up like leaving the toilet seat up. What's wrong here? I don't think I will ever understand women. - Daniel, the lovebird the evil words Ngo oi nei (Cantonese) Je t'aime (French) Eu te amo (Portuguese) Ti amo (Italian) Kimi o ai shiteru (Japanese) Ana behebbik (Arabic) Te amo (Spanish) Ik hou van jou (Dutch) Saya cintakan kamu (Malaysian) Ani ohev otach (Hebrew) Mein tumse pyar karta hoon (Hindi) I love you (English) You get the point. These are the evil words that have brought generations of clueless men worldwide to their demise. Too many gentlemen have used these potentially magical words far too many times, without considering their implications. I like to refer to these men as Love Preachers; everywhere they go and everything they do involves preaching or singing about how much they love their wife or girlfriend. You know the type: "I love you honey," "I love you more than the whole world," "I love you so much," "I'm so in love with you that I can't live without you," and "I love you more." the clueless modern man Have you ever wondered why it is so instinctively difficult to say "I love you"? There's a reason for this hesitation, and it's called your male instinct. You see, our male ancestor (we'll call him "Grok") realized that admitting his feelings to a woman (we'll call her "Jane") was a sign of weakness and dependency. So he chose to show his love for Jane through actions rather than words. Instead of saying "I love you," he would tell her, "Me Grok like Jane's walk. Grok give Jane rare rock." And that was that. No questions were asked, no tears were shed, and no one's face turned red. Unfortunately, Grok made two critical mistakes. First, he started a tradition that evolved from giving a woman a simple rock found on the ground to today's very expensive, three-month's salary diamond ring. The second mistake (due to his lack of communication skills) was that he forgot to explain the purpose of that rare rock to his kids; it was supposed to be a substitute for saying, "I love you" to his wife. So now we're stuck with giving an expensive rock and expressing our feelings. So is it our fault that women value rare items? the female's values We, as a society, value rare commodities ranging from gold to diamonds. If something is scarce or really hard to come by, we naturally appreciate it more. Women value rare items above all; why do you think that first rock evolved into a sparkling diamond? It all started when Jane moved into Grok's cave after he offered her the rock. Brock, the next-cave neighbor also wanted Jane to move into his cave, so he offered her a bigger rock. In order to keep Jane, Grok went hunting for a shinier rock. This went on for quite a while until Grok finally found the rarest, shiniest rock -- the diamond -- and since this proved to Jane how much Grok loved her, she finally settled down with Grok. the ace in the pocket The same applies to saying "I love you." There aren't many men who realize or appreciate the power of saying "I love you." These three magic words can save your relationship when it hits rock bottom, or can even get you out of trouble when she finds out about Janette (Jane's descendent and also your mistress). The secret to keeping I love you powerful and meaningful, is to keep it scarce by rarely using it. If you're able to exercise control and refrain from abusing the use of I love you, it will be like having an ace in your pocket for when you really need the winning upper hand. An example may help clarify this point. After two years of constantly telling his wife how much he loves her, a Love Preacher forgets to buy his wife an anniversary gift. With great guilt, he admits his mistake and preaches his undying love for her. She'll hear the words, but they won't fill her with delight. She already knows her husband loves her, and she won't do cartwheels after hearing how much he loves her for the ten thousandth time. The husband is now doomed to feel his wife's wrath as she makes him regret his forgetfulness. For the rest of his life, he will have to make it up to her, as she will constantly remind him of his lack of appreciation: bring out the checkbook buddy, this one's going to cost you. .....CONTD |
| sankaa | Posted
on 28-Sep-03 09:34 PM
......On the other hand, had our friend the Love Preacher kept his mouth shut about how much he loved his wife for the past two years, he could have surprised her with his Ace: the three words that she yearned to hear from his mouth -- "I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary, but don't let that make you doubt how much I love you." I can guarantee that she'll completely forget about his mistake and say, "Oh George, you said 'I love you.' I never heard you say that before!" a lesson learned I have learned that "I love you" really means "I choose to act lovingly towards you." In that sense, showing her that you love her through actions is enough. You don't have to say "I love you" just to prove it; your woman should be able to see your feelings through your actions. Yet women still want to hear you say "I love you" because by saying those three magic words, you're acknowledging an attachment to her and dependent need for her. You'll also be losing valuable points in the Challenge game. You see, not saying "I love you" only adds to the challenge and makes you more desirable to women. You have to be strong and resist saying those three little words. Don't worry about scaring her away; you'll be fine, as long as you show your love through your actions. But save the "I love you" for a rainy day. So what did you learn? I hope that you won't use this article as an excuse not to say "I love you." As an AskMen.com reader stated: "I feel that most guys will take your article as an excuse not to take care of a woman's most basic emotional need, to know how her man feels about her and to hear it. So I say this: it's okay to say it when you really mean it, but not as a precursor to every word out of your mouth. As with everything, you must find a balance." Get it on! |
| mickthesick | Posted
on 29-Sep-03 10:29 AM
here is what i have to say:: damn my girl seems to be the exception.....i dated her ...i hung out with her...and as you guy says i did not have the nerve to say "i love you" to her. but the thing is - she also never said those words to me.....i knew that she wants to say those evil words but she never did...i waited and waited....finally my patience took off and i called her....i asked her to meet me at a place...it took me whole 15 minutes to say those words to her. and guess what she says after i utter those words: she says " i know you love me. and you took a year and a half to say that. still.....i think that was pretty quick. i thought you were going to say those words to me after we would have 3 kids." i hate her. |
| Nattu | Posted
on 29-Sep-03 11:41 AM
Sankaa bro, You are killing us. It was just a simple question. Why are you making this so complicated? Do you think people have time to read ur entire posting ( Zzzzzz...zzz)? What are you? Another HahooGoru?? Anyway back to youngbloodz's question, dude you are absolutely right. Yes , we Men have problem saying " I Love You" to girls because it is JUST NOT guy thing ya know. For me, I don't say " I Love you " because I don't want the girl to know that I'm in Love with her and crazy about her ya know. Dude trust me, once my girlfriend hears " I Love you" from my mouth, she'll find out that I'm desperate for her and will make demands ke. I rather keep my mouth shut or just reply "I Love you too Honey" when she says " I love you" to me first. Just go along with her "I love you" and add whatever the hell you want to add like " you're beautiful, you're sexy, you've big heart" and things like she loves to hear but NEVER EVER and I repeat again NEVER EVER initiate " I LOVE YOU" to girls. If you do, I'm telling u guys, it'll come back to bite ur ass one day. Plus, whoever initiate " I LOVE YOU" first will always have lower hands on PRE and POST breakup relationship. Do you want that ?? |
| NEPALIBALLER | Posted
on 29-Sep-03 12:34 PM
Come on dude be a man, and stop taking a simple thing like that so seriously. |
| Nattu | Posted
on 29-Sep-03 01:16 PM
Baller aka Mr. Automatic RUNNER UP Dude, Prevention is always better than cure :-). By the way, have u seen this Drew Barrymore's movie "Never Been Kissed" ? Go and see it.... :-) |
| DHANANJAYA | Posted
on 29-Sep-03 01:55 PM
Dear YB, this is actually a great psychological question. I have no experience with hanging out with any girl and I never had girlfriend. I have loved someone and I have been loving her. When I came across her for the short time I got gravited towards her. Mind got occupoid by her and hers feelings. Lost the peace and harmony. Whole day and night I spent counseling, controling and soothing my mind. It gives a lot of pain, love is defilement of the mind, it is negativity. Then I dicided that I will express it out to her, but could not collet brave. The mind was not my own, for days together, weeks together. I always thought to tell her that I love her, but at the last moment, could not make it, got nervous. I thought, even if she said no, I will be free from her feelings and if she said yes, thats what I want. Why not to tell? I have Laddus in my both hands. I managed to tell her indirectly somehow. I felt so light and relieved. But that was not permanent relief, I could not figure it out whether the girl like me or not. I remained confused. I am so shy, so, neither could go close to her and said that I love her, nor I could forget her. Valcano kept on errupting time to time, I tried to go close to her, couple of times, but could not do that. My heart always said me that she loves me but I was not sure. I did not want to hurt her because of my feelings so I could not go infront of her and said her that I love her. Indeed, I love her very much. Besides of my busy schadule, I do have time to miss her. Really, its difficult to say I love you. Even if i managed to call her sometime, I did not find words to talk. I get nervous. But in other aspect of life i am popular for my courage. She is walking on the one bank of river and i am on the other. I asked her to come to my beautiful bank, but she does not come. May be because she does not like me and my bank. May be she is attached to her beautiful bank and out of greed can not leave it. May be she does not have faith on me that I can catch her safely when she jump from her bank to mine and she scared to fall down the river. May be she thinks she is not good for me and my bank, she should not, she is perfect. May be she scares wheter my bank is not as beautiful as hers. I don't know. I am sure, my bank is beautiful but its beauty is different than hers bank. She wanted distance from me. Now, there is atlantic in the one side and pacific on the other. May be she gonna create interstellar distance soon. No problem, brave are those who love giving. May she be happy always, I have strong shell to protect form sadness, she knows that. I have learned, how to live not being restless. I have learned how to keep the balance of the mind even if I don't get desirable things. So, for me, love is negativity which perturbs the mind and brings restlessness and misery. Somewhere in the inner core of mind, there is positivity and it try to avoid the restless moment. That is why we feel very difficult to spoke out these three words. Dhananjaya |
| sankaa | Posted
on 29-Sep-03 02:00 PM
nattu, dai haru sita yesaree kura garnay ho.. dhat lata... |
| SimpleGal | Posted
on 29-Sep-03 05:55 PM
Interesting...... :) |