| Username |
Post |
| Lekhak |
Posted
on 06-Nov-03 08:27 PM
Red Roulette
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| Lekhak |
Posted
on 06-Nov-03 08:28 PM
"So she appeared to be trying to talk to me or something.."
"Wait, wait. Back up. You see, I need the full detail as it happened. I can analyze your situation better that way. As your psychiatrist, you need to tell me everything that happened, the way you saw it unfold."
"Hmmm. Well, I am not very good in black jack and I was getting dirty stares from people whose game I was ruining by making bad calls. I thus, left the table and went to the Red-Russian-roulette,one of the hottest table they had going. It seemed exciting, so I joined the group. I missed my first call and was very close in the second one. This time, I picked number 7 and I was allowed to place the ball in the roulette when I insisted. the wheel was lowering its momentum when all of a sudden, I see this woman, in red dress. No it was maroon, skirts going knee high. I couldn't take my eyes away from her for a while and I heard the guy next to me saying, 'Congrautulations.' Yes, the ball stopped right on number 7. I had the feeling something was going to happen, didn't know at that time
whether it was for good or for bad."
"Interesting, go on. Be more vivid if you can."
"I didn't see her for next 20 minutes or so. Then I left the table for a quick rest room break. I went in and came out and all of a sudden I saw this lady right outside of the rest room,as if, as if she was waiting for me. She coughed and immediately started walking. Being so naive in these things, I couldn't tell if it was a signal or just a simple routine. I kept staring at her, she went to the elevator.
I retracted towards the Red-Russian_roulette. I was winning so far, something I never thought I was capable of doing in a casino. Specially because this was an American Roulette- even though the name was Russian, with extra '00' number,increasing the house odds and decreasing our chances of winning.
But, I really was winning, close to 4,000, at that time. I think. But, I just couldn't help thinking about that woman. She had a different level of seduction in her, I swear."
"During all this time, had she ever made an eye contact with you?"
"No, not yet. I guess you can say it was only me. Then I saw her again, upstairs. Wearing a mink coat, I guess the A.C. was too high over there. I am telling you, she looked killingly beautiful. At that time
no money could come close to this maid."
"Just a sec. Let me turn the tape over. You can listen to this recording for yourself after the session is over."
"So, I was saying...I just couldn't stop myself. I thus followed her upstairs. I was trying to think why I was drawn to a woman this bad. I then realized within myself, that her face looked familiar. I tried not to think where I had met her before, as I just wanted to admire her beauty at that time. Remember, you told me not to. They had another Roulette table their, of the same kind. They had one on each floor, I guess. My
dream lady, was screaming with excitement, drawing attention from all the crowd in that table. I ceased the oppertunity and approached close to the table. I could smell the distinctive perfume coming out of her. You, know, you look familiar, I thought to myself, but didn't say a word. She would show her sad face everytime she loose the bet and start jumping up and down everytime she won. She was the queen of the crowd, my lady
in red."
"maroon!"
"Yeah, Maroon. Her aroma was an invitation, don't know why but I felt it was an invitation for a disaster.
Didn't know what was gonna happen, my feet just dragged me closer to her. I've heard stories, bad ones. I just didn't care at that time. Continued.
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| Lekhak |
Posted
on 06-Nov-03 09:10 PM
"Have you ever had this feeling? Feeling when you know you are doing something bad, but you just want to block that part of the consiousness out..Well, I wanted to go closer and closer, but something told me it ain't right. I am a married man afterall."
"You are making it interesting now."
"But there was something more to it. Had I seen her in some news? Was she that infamous Casino Killer? Or Was she that lady terrorist who was on the loose, downtown? I could care less, as I now was smelling her aroma real close. She sensed me and
gave a strage look.
It did appear that she was tryting to talk to me or something.But she submerged herself back to the game. All of a sudden the lady started jumping up and down again.
She had her number called one more time. I ceased the oppertunity and told her - Luck has been your servent tonight. The lady looked at me back. The big smile on her face just mellowed down.Don't know why. She acted as if she didn't care about
me. I felt like a moron.
She was definately one of those many ladies I have met, who just wants your attention but not too much of it. Once you try to be close to them, they run away. But I didn't give up. I stood there."
"Now, at this moment were you only romantically involved or there was some fear roaming around again?"
"Hell, I was scared to death still. But that was the best part. I kind of liked it, enjoyed it."
"The whole idea."
"Yeah. After half an hour or so, she went to a corner. To light up a smoke. I gathered that she wasn't with anybody. I commanded my feet to take me there. As soon as I got close to her, she immediately turned around and walked to the red-roulette table. It was as if she didn't even notice me."
"Sixth sense..ha ha ?"
"Yeah right!! I just waited in the corner. Something hinted me, she is going to come back.
And back she did. She actually came back after 10 minutes. Came close to me and dropped a key for room no 13."
"Now I am getting all the chills."
"I quickly picked the key up. She proceeded to the lady's room. I went downstair. My persuit was a success. I will go to the room after midnight, I thought."
"And where did she go after she came out of the lady's room."
"I didn't see it. I started playing black jack for a while. I was loosing bad, but was happy
inside, anticipating for the great night I was going to have."
"Okay, so the climax?"
"Yeah. I then started walking towards room # 13. On my way out of the elevator and in the corridor, I could swear I was shivering a bit. I had those thoughts about that killer lady and all. She acted hard to get at first and now she was all mine. There definately was something to it, I thought. The fear tingled all my senses. I had heard that Casino killer's signature move was to take the pinky finger of her victim after she killed them. Yeah, she also used to wear Blue overcoat, I've heard.. She could be anything at this moment, mind you. But I kept walking.
And there was room 13.
I opened the room. It was pitch dark, I tried to find my way inside. And all of a sudden, the room was bright on. A tall girl waiting for me in the corner. To quadruple my fair, it was that same lady, dressed in the blue overcoat.
I froze still. She approached her inner pocket with her left hand. As I stayed astonished in fear, she pulled a 22 caliber automatic, black. She pointed it right on my temple.
She took few steps towards me, my mouth was still open. She was now close to me, she stopped for a while. She then again approached me and then..and then I kissed her. Rest, you know what happened. It was the best night I ever had after my marriage."
"So it worked."
"Yes it worked, and thanks to you doctor."
"Well, I only provided a guidance. But you and your wife played it real good.
The key point was that you had to feel it real during the whole game. And from what you have just narrated, you never let it come to your mind that you were playing a make-belief with your wife. You see, fear is one of the factor that provides the extra kick in our marital life, along with all other feelings. You lived your fantasy and you played well."
"My wife was real good on this. Had she acted otherwise, I wouldn't have sensed the fear on me. And everytime I had that feeling of being afraid, I got a kick, doc. I went to home every night after work, but this night..I was waiting just to goto the room. She played it great, I just moved along."
"Now, everything is recorded in the tape. Take it with you and play it to get a romantic kick again and again."
"I bet, my wife's gonna love this. We are a different couple after that night. We made the best love we had ever made. Life sure needs surprises and curves."
THE END
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| KALANKISTHAN |
Posted
on 07-Nov-03 04:50 AM
Finally!
Thanks Lekhak Bro.
'Red Roulette' hooked me on all the way! ;)
You undoubtedly know how to narrate 'thrillers'. eh!!!
Ehooooo! Enjoyed it! :D
"She was definately one of those many ladies I have met, who just wants your attention but not too much of it."
ahem! Yeah, I know what you talkin' 'bout eh! ;)
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 07-Nov-03 08:50 AM
excellent!
I liekd your choice of words and of course your way of writing. I wish I could write stories and poems .. :-)
Anyway, as expected an unexpected ending.
When are you posting your next story?
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| decadence |
Posted
on 07-Nov-03 09:24 AM
"Have you ever had this feeling? Feeling when you know you are doing something bad, but you just want to block that part of the consiousness out..".??
yep i have!
Interesting one!! Hooked me up all the way to the end, as well-but just did not feel right- the ending that is! Good job, though, lekhak dai. Certainly will be expecting more form u in coming days. Hope u have something equally intresting - preferably a tad more - the next time around.
cheers!
decadence
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| Lekhak |
Posted
on 10-Nov-03 06:46 AM
Sorry,
didn't get chance to check it during the weekend.
Befor I pass an individual comment, I just wanted to let you folks know that it was dedicated to my past readers. 30% of which wanted a different twist to my stories which always used to end in death. I started contemplating how to write a thriller, without a bad ending. For a novice writer like me, it sure was a difficult task.
Now, I can get back to my original style, my next story will not be bounded in any genre or guided by a predetermined end. It will be free style again.
Kalankisthan jyu,
It was because of you, that I could finish it before it was too late. Thx for the push and thx for enjoying it. About that statement you quoted, you know what I am talking about right?
Iso brother,
I've already thought about 2 new stories, and hopefully will come with one soon. Thanks for all the support as always. If I were in China, we could arrange a meeting, analyze few more topics along with any old wine.
Decadence bhai,
Thanks for the protsahan. It was one of those stories that relies heavily in the narration and the story base, but not so much in the climax. As climax would be something way milder than what you would expect, and that is supposed to be a twist. I know what you are referring to and hopefully my next work will deliver what you wanted.
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 10-Nov-03 07:12 AM
If I were in China, we could arrange a meeting, analyze few more topics along with any old wine.
This is a small world. Who knows maybe we'll come across each oither some day. So, let's stick to this plan of enjoying some good old Chinese wine.
As always, looking forward to reading more of your brilliant stories.
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| isolated freak |
Posted
on 10-Nov-03 07:20 AM
here's to the idea of drinking chinese wine- Gan Bei!
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 10-Nov-03 07:25 AM
DWI Bro,
Before I make a comment on your lurid story, I tried emailing you a couple of times last month via sajha, but the mails kept coming back to me...not a biggy anyways,
Now back to the story, yes I have been wanting to read this for quite a while now. The suspense you stimulate is amazing. Like others, I was hooked all the way through. What a bloody and romantic twist to such a grand plot..eheh..really enjoyed it. But like someone else said, I'd rather have you write the diabolique endings :)...jus for the EXTRA KICK u know ;)
"She was definately one of those many ladies I have met, who just wants your attention but not too much of it" I really liked this line like kalanki bru. Yah, i enjoyed the theme nevertheless. What's life without some FIRE? :P Keep em' coming. I really can't delve myself to sajha these days, though I read most of the postings now and then :)
Your avid reader,
Oys
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| Lekhak |
Posted
on 10-Nov-03 04:08 PM
Oys,
I guess the inbox got clogged up, it keeps happening. It should be okay now.
Send it to DWI email addy in sajha.
When is next memory lane coming out?
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 10-Nov-03 04:18 PM
Lekhak ji:
Dabbling in fantasy writing as well as erotica, wow! The suspense was thrilling; the end...well, rique risque!
:)
Aroo pani jawos.
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| Lekhak |
Posted
on 11-Nov-03 06:28 PM
Sitara ji
Little hesitant here, to term it as erotica. But however you want to enjoy it. Thanks for going through, I wouldn't mind few criticism as well. Lots of things to learn from you and Sajhawasis.
Ashish kaji,
Thanks for the compliments. Means a lot. If I had an online novel, how can I charge you folks? Haven't published (online) anything else other than the 'Green Eyes', 'Seto Bagh' and the 'Blue Sky' in Sajha.
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| Deep |
Posted
on 12-Nov-03 11:35 AM
Lekhak,
The way the story ended, I didn't like. The way you write is always fun to observe. Your style is pleasing. Puranai hisab bata ek duita aru story pelna paryo---manchhe mare ta mare-kathaima ta ho ni--kaso?
pirka ma basi ra chhu hai katha sunna..tuki balera..mattitel sakinu aghinai aam katha bokera---batti nibhesi ta malai suspense ko katha sunna ugra dar lagchha.
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| porcelina |
Posted
on 12-Nov-03 11:45 AM
lekhak ji, i have to admit i really liked your work. and your fascination with colors is interesting. trademark?
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| Lekhak |
Posted
on 12-Nov-03 01:13 PM
Deep
I knew I could count on you for an honest opinion. I knew that not many of you would like it, it was for few selected ones who wanted a rather happy-romantic ending. Now, atleast I am set free and write another one without any reservation or boundaries. Tuki ma tel chadai rahanu mitra, Ma pani pirka tanera aula. Handi gao ko arko katha sunna.
Porcelina (nice name)
Thanks for admiring. Yeah, I am trying to stick to the color theme, as they set the ground for the environment the story is going to create. I don't force it though, as the title for my next story is most probably is not going to have color theme on it, as it doesn't suit it. Good observation on your part.
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| porcelina |
Posted
on 12-Nov-03 02:57 PM
flattered!
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| NSS |
Posted
on 12-Nov-03 03:10 PM
Lekhak,
Thought of publishing it? There used be a magazine in called KaramChand back in those days. Cheers.
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| Lekhak |
Posted
on 12-Nov-03 03:54 PM
No such thought yet NSS
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