| Username |
Post |
| Yo man ta..Nepali ho |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 06:14 PM
Is it possible to be good friends with your ex? Or, is it just not practically possible??
I heard that either you're in the relationship or you break off all ties. Is it not possible to be with your ex like any of your friends? Does every ended relation have to end in a bitter way?
What do you guys & gals think??
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| ssNY |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 06:40 PM
Is it possible to be good friends with your ex?
Are you kidding? Once in a relationship, it is sexual. Just the thought of you now with someone else - not possible. When you are in a relationship, you reached the apex of your, pardon me for repeating, relationship. It is either there, just there, or it is downhill from there. No such thing as friendship. For that men hang out with men friends and women with their own.
Like Billy Crystal said in that movie, Men only think of sex when with women. I'm not putting so much emphasis on sex but that becomes the paramount and then it is crash, if it doesn't go well.
My two cents, anyway.
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| Yo man ta..Nepali ho |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 07:22 PM
so what you're telling me is that it's just not possible. Not in any way? What if we hadn't had sex in our past relation( only kisses of course)?
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| p'UNK_316 |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 07:55 PM
I hate it when Gals offer fren'ship after having an affair. What are they thinkin'...??? There is no way in hell that you can stay friends after you break up. I mean juss think aba' it!!! after break up, when u see her, won't you feel like doin' things you used to do before (like makin' out, or even having sex)??? What would keep you away from gettin those thoughts and juss listen n smile to whateva' she's sayin??? At least, that won't apply to me!!! I never stayed friends with my ex'es. They're gone and everyone's happy @####
PEACE
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| roc1432 |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 08:04 PM
YO mann ta mero nepali ho
are u a girl or a guy??......
I'd personally never be frens be with my ex.. i mean i just can't see myself doing it.. I'd get back with her and everything .but that is right after the break up.. but if she wants to break up and be frens.... i wont be doing it. .WHY??? cuz.. like SSNY said. the thought of ur ex bein with someone itself is creepy.. it's like this person u liked so much is going out with someone else..... so just to keep myself happy. i'd forget bout her and not be frens with her... one thing for sure if i was to walk into my ex with her new bf. i sure wont stop to say HI!.. .it's sth i just can't do. .but then. everyone ain't me.. . I'd still wont talk to her even if i was going out with someone else and she with someone else..... i just can't do it.. ..and yeah most relationships always end up nasty.. there are very few cases of mutual break-ups..
if that answer ur questions.!
tareymam
roc
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| Rosie |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 08:08 PM
I think you can be friends with anyone or most of the ppl if you give it enough time and make the effort to be friends. However, after a couple splits, there is so much pain (depending on the depth of the relationship) and you long for the other person so much that its almost impossible to just be friends. It is imperative to cut a lot of ties just to get over each other. This severing of ties might include communication, circle of friends, etc. And by the time you are over each other, that is if ever, you are so far away from each other both geographically and/or emotionally that it is very hard to become just friends again. So, I guess you never really give each other the chance or make the effort to be friends. However, if both of you are committed to making the friendship work, it might work out...I have yet to see it, though.
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| roc1432 |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 08:10 PM
Rosie . i'd rather be committed to make a relationship work . than to be committed to maintain frenship after a break up. :).. its me
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 08:49 PM
hate it when Gals offer fren'ship after having an affair. What are they thinkin'...???
Absolutely agree with the punk 316 dude...really what are they.......as complicated the creatures they are and enough complications they give us? what the hell do they want now? as chris rock would say "Women want everything....." Men just want "food, sex, and silence"..short n sweet......FEED Me, FK me and Shut the fk up :P
Disclaimer: maile bhanya hoina hai..chris dai le!
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| shiva shiva!! |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 09:31 PM
Hehe,
Oys bro pani FOSLA bhayacha.
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| L-a-x |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 11:03 PM
i don't think that is possible..atleast that hasn't worked out with me....but I do respect the other friend and wish all the best in her life....FRIENDS...NO WAY......
that is just the end of that relationship and things related....
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| ru |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 01:56 AM
For me, I think it is possible, albeit not an easy job. Depends upon what started the relationship I guess. Breaking all contacts with one's Ex(es) definitely does make things easy...no more constant reminder that she's is in a realtionship (platonic or otherwise)with someone else. But on one exception, I have maintained contact with my ex... and ironically, I think my genuine care for her that overshadows my jealousy (and yeh I was not dumped and I am not "still infatuated" by her).
Bottomline, as far as possible, keep it simple... forget them (ex)terminate all relations.
mero dui paisa.
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| Neural |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 03:05 AM
My views go with dat of L-a-x
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| ou812 |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 09:02 AM
Men are from Mars. Women are from mmmmmm planet no clue.
Most female friends I know don't see a problem with being friend with their X. I guess it's to do with their social and communication skills.
Where as most, in fact all men severe their ties with their X. Who wants to be reminded of ego bashing and heartache you've recived if you are the dumpee. Other side of the coin, who wants to be in touch with a Klingon who'd probably boil our pet rabbit alive if you are the dumper.
ssNy the movie you've mentioned is "When Harry met Sally". The lines are:
Billy - "A man and woman can never be friends, because sex always comes in between"
Meg - "Thats not true!!"
Ani I forget..
Billy - "You pretty much wanna bang them too" (Ugly friends)
Use to be the words of wisdom in 19one teens. As you sprout hairs from places they shouldn't and lose hair where you should, you learn to make friends regardless of gender difference.
Moral of the story. "Hell with X..."
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| faltu_jocker |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 10:00 AM
Hello all broken heart dudes!
Here is my opinion.Whether you can be freind with your X or not, it all depends on how you broke.If one leaves another or one cheat another in relationship and thats the reason for breaking up, there is no question of being freind. Yeah i do agree that girls often offer freinship after cheating you. Its just because of their inconfidence for new life so want some old one to be around.
But there are many situations where you break of with mutual understanding, under certain circumstances. At that time, you can still be freind and believe me, it doesn't hurt at all. After being two years togther, we decided to break up, because she had to leave this place and I could not. But we were still good freind, calling each other almost everyweek. Then she had her there and I had mine here, but whenever there was problem in new relations, she was the best person to talk all about. After all she understand me more than anyone. So it was kind of great relieve talking to her. It was the same for her as well. Of course when you start getting busy with your new, your communication with old slowly slows down, but neither she nor me mind about it. Its just a natural process of relatioship. After three years, I heard from her yesterday. I was so glad to hear her vioce but beleive me i didn't say that just because I am alone now. Its just so nice to hear her vioce.
Life is too short to hate others,specially the one you loved.
Cheers.
F_J
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| Soma |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 04:23 PM
I don't think it's proper to hate a person at the conclusion of a relationship, however sometimes it is necessary. There definitely needs to be some space and time to redefine the boundaries of the new situation, if there is an attempt to be friends.
I think girls offer friendship to their ex because girls tend to be more sentimental and want to keep the connection alive. For me, I like to be left alone after I leave a relationship.
I am friends with one of my exs, but I think that's cuz we always acted more like siblings than lovers.......
Who knows, right? It probably depends on how much your heart aches after everything is said and done.
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| anamika1 |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 07:14 PM
Sure why not! Maybe it is tough to be friends with your ex when the wound is still raw. But when significant time has passed and your current partner is better that your ex... it is very easy to be friends with your ex.... of course that is given that your ex is willing to be friends with you. But then, I am a woman so I can only speak for my gender.
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| Yo man ta..Nepali ho |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 08:28 PM
Well very interesting views there. Most of them saying the same thing.....'forget your ex'. However, there might be a few exceptions as faltu_joker pointed out. I guess the important thing is how you broke up in your past relation. If it was a mutual understanding, then you could remain friends. But still, I just don't get over this idea about seeing your ex with someone else......I mean, if you broke up mutually, due the the circumstances, then i think it's very hard to accept her with someone else. In faltu joker's case, I see you've had a dream mutual break up....!
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| patali |
Posted
on 19-Nov-03 09:57 AM
well.....umm.....most of you said pretty much the same thing...but..I do not really think that you cannot be a freind with your x....first of all if your x asks you to be a friend of him or her after your break up...then you may think at first that it is a crazy idea..but it all depends on how you perceive it as..and like someone mentioned earlier..It also depends on the depth of your relationship...not all people are sex-minded...In my view, there is a possibilty that x's could be good freinds...I have seen bunch of X's who are still good frens........it all depends on your perception...
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| soumya |
Posted
on 19-Nov-03 04:20 PM
That was the exemplary answer!! Its sounds absurd to keep up the so called frenship after the break ups.continuing broken relationship is just like to slog the dead horse hehehehe.....
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| soumya |
Posted
on 19-Nov-03 04:23 PM
Roc1432!That was the exemplary answer. Its sounds absurd to keep up the so called frenship after the break ups.continuing broken relationship is just like to slog the dead horse hehehehe.....
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| hansy420 |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 06:28 AM
who would want to accept a demotion!
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| Recon |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 09:34 AM
Its possible to be a frens...But my suggestion will be not be a fren...What if he/ she has still something for he/ she... Then there will lots of jealously and stuff...What would you wanna make your life a hell...
When you're done with a relationship.. Just get done with it from every aspect....Just move on with your life......
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| EdHunter |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 12:03 PM
if u dun like someone's face (in a nasty way), or his/her attitude, if someone lies to u and cheats on u, etc etc.. and loads of other bad thingys.. would u wanna be frenz wif em? guess not huh... same for exs.. why would u wanna be frenz with sum1 who's broken ur heart and done all of the above? right? i mean, juz get on with ur life and look for better options man.. but definitely not frenz yah... prob wouldn even acknowledge her if i were to c her on the streets. be happy it happened and happier that it;s over. that's how life goes. just cherish the memories u had and look forward to better things. y dwell in the past? take life as it comes and go with the flow.. u dun look for love, love comes looking for u... Cheers pple...
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| Recon |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 12:14 PM
Nice one, Mr. Hunter
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| patali |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 12:56 PM
hunter ji..if u really wanna get over with all your past relation then why even bother about cherishing past memories...hoina ta..???
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| Recon |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 01:15 PM
Patali jee,
Memories are for to be cheerrish ..thats why..and beside that its a part of your life...
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| patali |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 01:26 PM
well.....sure memories are for cherishing....but if you want to get done with all aspects of past love or your ex..then why do you even care about those past evil memories....memories are one of the aspect of past realtion ..Isn't it?
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| Recon |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 01:31 PM
coz its part of your life..even though its just a part ...there is no way to forget it...so rather just cheerish it..
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 01:45 PM
meri euti ex...SUNTALI...ma haat bazaaraaan gayera farkinda...tyo palla ghare Balaraaan ko mailo lahure chhoro sanga poila gaichhe...baataaan chatyang le haanera khutrukkai hos devi mai bhanera bhakkaal rakheko...chatyang le ta haina, Kali Gandaki le bagayechha...
arki ex...FULMATI...dui jiu ki thee mori...byauna teen din aghi tyo pet ko bachaa ta uu utaa daanda pari ko Kampare Kanchha ko po ho bhanchhe malai ta :0...tessimyaaa jhyakni ko khappar fodchhu bhanera chireko daura uthako matra ke thiyen...futtai bhaagi sakichhe...tyo hatti jatro thulo Kampare Kanchha ko bacha na paryo...asyadhi thulo re...byauna nasakera kanda kandai thaharai bhaichhe...devi mai laai arko boka chadayen bholi palta...
teshri ex...(marda ko teenti bhanera sunaakaa thiye euta Sajha kai mitra le--teen wota ta pugyo gaanthe mero)...arkai poi laai chhodera aaki raichhe...malai ke thaha? Bihe gareko bholi paltai tesko purano poi ko shraap laagera hola...farlakkai aankha farkayera siltimur khai...
tetti ho, kassam...tespachhi ta budho bhaiyo...swasni bhitruana, chhora ko biu ropna, ta parai jawos...janti jaana dhari tagat aayena meri bassai....syaaaiiiiiiii garera kaal parkhi raa chhu aba...
khai...aba ke bhanum...teen-teen watai ex...sappai Yamraj ko darbar puge...sathi banam ki nabanaam bhanera sochnai parena...tai pani...budha paaka kai arti sunne ho bhane chai...
I say, you don't contemplate whether you make friends with your ex(s) or not -- or with anyone else for that matter! Just take it easy, try not to think about it, and if you are meant to friends with your ex, you'll be friends with him/her. If not, you won't. What's the big deal? You can't/don't decide beforehand whether you want to be friends with someone -- if it's meant to happen, it will just happen!
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 01:54 PM
PS: (amrika basera sikeko yo PS bhanna ni) teshri ko naam nai bhanna birsechhu...gaanthe...budheshkaal ma magaj sadna thalyo...birsanchu kahile kahin...tesko naam chaai DAMMAR KUMARI thiyo.
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| patali |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 02:08 PM
WOW....MA PANI SIKNU PARYO POONTE JI YO GANTHI NEPALI MA KURA GARNA....KE GARNU PARCHHA HO...LAU NA DAJAI SIKAUNU PARYO....
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 20-Nov-03 02:24 PM
Oye, Patali mori...ke tyau tyau karaai raako? Utaa rusty le bhaaat pakyo bhanera karaai raa chha :P ehehhe
maile maastira jasto gari bolna sikne bhaye Rusty-fusty laai chhodideu...haamro gaamko Bal Bahadur chha euta...usailai bihe gara...usaile sikaula...layak ko chha...dhindo ko tagat nikalera bajauna jaanya pani chha...tyo tanneri uttaulo goru lai ta aekai haat le pachharchha pani aai lagyo bhane...kasaile timi mathi aankha gaadyo bhane chulesi le aankha fodi dina pani jaanya chha tesle...kuro chalaidim? :P
Maarne bho aba Rusty le...kapal nabhako khappar futne bho aba mero tyo bhaaat chalaako falaam ko paniu ko jhattaro le :o
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