| Username |
Post |
| SITARA |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 07:10 PM
Slow, drip by drip
I feel the water seep out;
my cupped hands
in breathless transition.
Like sand trickling,
grain by grain
through the hourglass,
I watchl the seconds tick by.
Mesmerized I watch,
experience the agony,
as tears race me by.
Desperate,
I grab at empty air,
steady the moments still,
enslave time,
as it flies me by.
Knowing,
If I could, I'd freeze the clock,
retrace her crawl,
record her babble,
hold her to my bosom,
like the first time, I did.
But,
As I watch helplessly,
she crawls into a step,
steps into a run,
oblivious, joyful, innocent.
As she laughs with life,
life laughs at me;
as I contain her memories,
the water drips,
unceremoniously,
through my fingers!!!
Written for all mothers (and fathers) estranged from their children. May you all reunite soon.
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 07:36 PM
Well, actually, those feelings have been gnawing on my insides; disturbing me despite my attempts at ignoring them. I found out that, one of the parents (of the children I teach) has been a surrogate mother due to her family's abject poverty.
Ashish ji: Not a masterpiece, really, just a written expression of my mental turmoil. I do hope that you feel better. Is it exam time for you yet?
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| Soleil |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 07:45 PM
Sitala dyu.. hajul lai dhelai dhelai dhanybaad. melo request poola galibakchheko ma. :)
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| DWI |
Posted
on 17-Nov-03 08:12 PM
Sitara,
Two words, Intriguing Simplicity.
So simple that it is inter-woven in complexity. The break points are worth stumbling into, the lines just flow afterwards.
Should be a theme poem for any orange alerts.
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| KaLaNkIsThAN |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 05:03 AM
AaaaiHaai! ;)
Sitala dyu.. hajul lai dhelai dhelai dhanybaad. Toliel ko request poola galibakchheko ma. :)
Nice Nice!
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| Deep |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 07:32 AM
"Desperate,
I grab at empty air,
steady the moments still,
enslave time,
as it flies me by. "
The part I enjoyed the most.
Sitara, the compassionate star!
khatara chha. ma ta stabdha chhu, prasamsaka sabdaharu sangai.
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| rbaral |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 08:04 AM
Splendid.
If I could, I'd freeze the clock, ..
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| Rusty |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 08:55 AM
Great Poet Sitara Jyu,
excellent poem as always.. very touchy... Arooo pani jawossss... hajur ko metaphoric poems:-) How about next poem for all the "fathers" estranged from their children:P
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| ru |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 09:30 AM
"as I contain her memories,
the water drips,
unceremoniously,
through my fingers!!! "
indeed...as we seek ceremonies after ceremonies to begin a new chapter..to close the previous unfinished ones...the water drips, sand trickles...and when the sand glass is transparent, when the palm is visible,.. memories haunt, wistful emotions not captured..time...water unceremoniously dripping through the fingers.
simple words, powerful message; great poem. write more...post more.
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| Biruwa |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 09:38 AM
What is distance, what forshaken
Love is a measure of thy weakness
fear another and so is psyche
Many a life has been troden
And Yet our eyes still smart
to see a mundane occurance
Do we not know that this is life
And yet we still cry
to become more miserable
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| ru |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 09:56 AM
Oh! how I wish
to escape the charm of beauty
observe without watching
together, by myself
to win over power of love
I wish I could think, not wish.
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| czar |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 10:29 AM
As always, your words conjure up images that resonate deep within the human soul. To capture so effortlessly the human condition is your gift. You possess the ability to emote exceptionally well despite the spare language you choose to use.
My compliments and appreciation !
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| VincentBodega |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 11:03 AM
Simply spledid Sitaraji...
Congrats.
--BV
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 06:23 PM
Friends, thank you for taking the time to read this piece. So amazing is this site and community that I have come to rely upon my un/known sajhaite friends to vent off mundane details of a sometimes complicated nature of people I meet. Some mirror my sentiments and others mirror the paradox of situations I can only experience, not express. Likewise, I have come to appreciate the individuality of every poster; thoughts opinions that reflect the person beyond the cyber name.
DWI:
Simplicity, is just a garb draped to conceal my turmoil. The "pause-points" switche channels to link the polarities (at least I hope they do). I have always loved your analysis of Deep's writing (and now, mine). Thank you.
Ashish ji;
If you try too hard to "fit" in, you won't. Be yourself and project a confident image of yourself without being overbearing. Quiet confidence is attractive.
Soliel and Kalanki:
ya ya ya! I lops you 2! :)
Deep ji:
A compassionate star ho ra hajur? Someone told me to "just wear" a thicker skin so the world around me won't affect me so. Well, the cliches surrounding "time" on being a healer, seems to be far fetched in this "poem". Does it not blurt out with a resounding desolation: "Time is a bigger thief"? Thank you for your kind words, which I always cherish.
Rusty and RBaral ji:
Thank you again. Metaphors, crutches I use to make sense, I suppose.
ru:
You caught the word "unceremoniously"! :) It was a deliberate attempt at balancing the drama of metaphors againts the dispassionate flow of water. Like, the subconscious act of "observing" without the conscious action of "watching".
Biruwa:
If, love is the measure of weakness, what is antipathy? hajurko poem ma dherai gahirai cha.
Czar:
He who knows and knows he knows, is wise. I was wise a long time ago; now, I know I thought I was wise, then. That human condition was just an illusion. :)
VB ji:
Thank you, I am glad you liked it.
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| confused |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 06:29 PM
Sitara .. i love ur poems ..kassam ho..ma pani great fan of ur..poems..i liked this one too..u have soo much emotions envolved in it..feels like u are actually telling us ur thoghts deep down frm ur heart..
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| ruck |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 07:06 PM
Dijju,
This is just so terrific. As a new mother, malai ta ahile dekhi nai peer laagi sakyo.. :-((
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| czar |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 10:32 PM
A simple yet eloquent tale. Its about a young woman, the mother of a 3 year old, who is dying of AIDS. This story is heartbreaking.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/photo_gallery/3241301.stm
Sitara : Thank you.
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| bhunte |
Posted
on 18-Nov-03 11:00 PM
"malai ta ahile dekhi nai peer laagi sakyo.. :-(("=???????
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