| kurtsgal |
Posted
on 28-Nov-03 01:14 PM
THIS BROKE MY HEART
MY DEAR,
I thought you were very bold (I pretend to be). At least when you deal with me, you pretend to be so. You ask me things which literally stun me and that too on phone (if i ask u when we are getting married, am I stunning you? I would presume that it is a natural question to discuss between two people who are engaged to each other). And you are not able to say to your office people about something which is a fact. There is no doubt in the fact that the date of the marriage is undecided (yeah Siddh, but they think that I am lying). You do not even have to think twice on that (what that the date is undecided?). It is so silly of you that you use your heart where you should use your mind and you use your mind where you should use your heart (I am silly! I have been telling u that from the start. At least we both agree unanimously on something). This mess is the result of all this. And you more than anyone else knows it (maybe). To cut it short, be my girl, and politely but firmly tell them the truth.
To my understanding, you main problem is not what your office people want. It is YOU who want things clear (yes it is true, I want things to be clear). Something I have been wanting for weeks now (as have I, but I thought since your dad called to postpone the wedding, you will come back to me and tell me when you want the wedding, but you are so laid back about the whole thing, now i am wondering if at all you want the wedding also or not?). And I am giving you time so that you can realize things coolly. (What else do i now need to realize I thought if had realized enough.)
Now, whatever the situation is, if you don't listen to me, this marriage is not taking place. Stop thinking about things.(why u don’t like it when i follow your example and think?)
1. I have been telling you to pray to God. Try and see if God can help you or us. That would also help you learn humility. (I pray to GOD everyday. Maybe we are still with each other because of this reason)
2. If you think I love you, then have faith in me. I might have thought negative about you, but I never try to harm you. (Siddh, I have faith in you, blind faith, there is no doubt about harming at all)
3. This is a golden chance for you to serve your dad and your home. If you do that happily you will be blessed for life and more. You should really take this as an opportunity. Consider yourself fortunate that you are serving ur dad and in a way ur mom. I know you have done that all your life. But you won’t get such opportunities many times. (I do this all the time, Siddh, but yes, u r right when u say it doesn't come all the time)
4. Remember, you are a beautiful, charming, sweet little baby of mine. I know these are your testing times, but you are capable of taking them in our stride. Just don't worry about things. (I am worried, very worried. And, I don't think I am beautiful or charming anymore, I have lost it all. I am dark and rugged now. That's why I want to set the date before we meet in case you change your mind about me. I mean I have lost my charm, my beauty, my confidence)
5. And last but not the least, remember, I keep singing for you here and I will try to sing to you as and when I can. I started singing the song I wrote to you yesterday at 10:00PM and sang upto 3AM and then since the whole day today. And I am feeling better.(I want to hear you sing to me when you are next to me)
I do not know whether I deserve this privilege to hear your problems but I would love to hear them (I have sent you an email. I want to share things with you, you don’t' know how much) If I were you I would not have missed this chance.(and I am not missing it either. Not now, not ever)
Take care. I will write more. But we may not be able to talk more since you are busy. But if you would want, I can try to come at 2PM or a little later. (i will signin in the afternoon)
Take care. I am with you, come what may. (Just listening to your voice makes me feel better)
I LOVE YOU (But, I love you more)
Siddarth
" I Light my candles in a daze cause I've found God" KURT
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