| Biggy Small |
Posted
on 06-Dec-03 12:09 AM
UNDER MY HAT
by KUNDA DIXIT
Oh FAQ!
For the first time in recent history, the number of unique online visitors to the official His Majesty’s Non-Government of Nepal website (www.hmg.non-gov.np) has exceeded the actual number of hardcopy visitors to Nepal. It is a matter of pride and an indicator of the rapid strides we have taken in information technology that more foreign investors made virtual visits to the kingdom than physical ones in the last fiscal year.
However, since no website is complete without a click for Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs), our homepage also needs a one-stop window containing answers to everything potential investors want to know about Nepal but are afraid to ask because they think they are stupid questions. So as a service to venture capitalists we present a list of the most stupid frequently asked questions with our equally asinine answers:
1. Where is Nepal?
Good question. We’re just trying to figure that out ourselves. In a philosophical sense you could say that we don’t know where we are at the present time, and which way we are headed. Anyone who finds Nepal, please return it to its rightful owners.
2. What is Nepal known for?
For the birthplace of Lord Buddha.
For the in-laws of Lord Ram.
For lapsi, timur and gundruk.
For the world’s highest mountain.
For the world’s deepest gorge.
For the world’s fastest clock.
For the world’s tallest dwarf.
For the world’s most trustworthy crooks.
3. What kind of world records do Nepalis hold?
• Climbing Mt Everest 12 times.
• Fastest ascent of Mt Everest by a human being.
• The person who has become prime minister most number of times in world history.
• The highest per capita producer of instant noodles on the planet.
4. What is the most common form of greeting in Nepal?
• “Khanu bho?” Translation: Have you partaken of your kickback for today?
5. What are some basic customs I should know about Nepal before deciding to invest there?
• Do as Nepalis do: never offer anything with your left hand.
• If it is under the table, taking with either hand is OK.
• Take your shoes off when you enter a house.
• If you notice that the occupants have stopped breathing, take your socks off as well.
• Always pay at least five times what locals pay for all forms of transport within Nepal.
• Nepalis are naturally friendly, so don’t make them unnaturally unfriendly by refusing to pay the compulsory Rs 15,000 revolutionary tax in Taplejung.
• Despite his outward appearance, the Great Asiatic One-horned Rhinoceros is a shy and thin-skinned animal, always ask for his permission before taking a photograph.
• Public display of affection is considered offensive, so refrain from holding hands in public unless you are of the same sex.
• Nepalis have a great sense of humour, in case you hadn’t noticed.
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