| L-a-x |
Posted
on 26-Jan-04 10:39 AM
I got this in my mailbox today and I thought you would like it...
Little Billy came into the kitchen where his mother
was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he
thought this was a good time to tell his mother what
he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Billy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had
gotten into trouble at school and at home. Billy's
mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a
bike for his birthday. Little Billy, of course,
thought he did. Billy's mother, being a Christian
woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the
last year and write a letter to God and tell him why
he deserved a bike for his birthday.
Little Billy stomped up the steps to his room and sat
down to write God a letter.
LETTER 1:
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like
a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Billy
Billy knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very
good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and
started over.
LETTER 2:
Dear God,
This is your friend Billy. I have been a pretty good
boy this year, and I would like a red bike for my
birthday.
Thank you, Billy
Billy knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the
letter and started again.
LETTER 3:
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year and I would really
like a red bike for my birthday.
Billy
Billy knew he could not send this letter to God
either, so he wrote another letter.
LETTER 4:
Dear God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am
very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a
red bike for my birthday.
Thank you, Billy
Billy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not
going to get him a bike. By now, Billy was very upset.
He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go
to church. Billy's mother thought her plan had worked
because Billy looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.
Billy walked down the street to the church and up to
the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was
there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He
slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church,
down the street, into his house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece
of paper and a pen. Billy began to write his letter to
God.
LETTER 5:
I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND
THE BIKE.
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO
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| L-a-x |
Posted
on 26-Jan-04 03:14 PM
Why It's Good To Be a Man!
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "icky".
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can kill your own food.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
All in All...
It's GREAT Being a Man!!
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