| Sajha.com Archives | |
| Username | Post |
| nescient | Posted
on 08-Feb-04 11:21 PM
If I had a magic bottle And if a Genie had granted me three wishes I would not have asked for anything Cause I had everything that I ever wanted in my life As I had you Warm summer night, Hot and spicy Mexican dinner, my favourite Roses all around the room, like the way i always wanted Glasses of wine, Candle lights lit the place, just perfect Soft music, You and I, all alone in a beautiful room. What a perfect night!!!! You moved closer, I was glad. Your first touch, Melted my heart. Your lips touched mine, And for the very first time, I felt alive. Your arms wrapped around my body, Felt secure, As if you would never let me go. What a perfect night!!!! Your lips moved to my neck, And slowly it moved down, The music kept on playing. Gently you unbottoned my shirt, And so did I. Our bare skin felt against each others' It was warm and pleasant. What a perfect night!!!! You took off your pants, And came to undress mine, I said NO. I am not ready for this,I told. But you didn't listen Our clothes were one by one dropped on the floor I screamed,I pushed,I begged But it was nothing more than a street dogs' bark. Tears rolled down, But you didn't stop. Glasses shattered, Just like my heart. The next day,I looked at myself in the mirror I was still the same Nothing had changed,physically. Just that I had become a woman But so much had changed From that day,I am a dead person walking Love of my life.... That's what I you make me feel, You not only raped my body But my soul too. What a "perfect" night,I must say! |
| czar | Posted
on 09-Feb-04 09:33 PM
Nescient, A vivid portrayal of the fine line between passion and unbridled lust. You’ve captured the sweetness of innocence destroyed by the violent pursuit of self-satisfaction. I wonder just how many romantic dreams are shattered by forced intimacy when one partner is heedless of the wishes of the other? Might I even go so far as to describe the poem as a depiction of date rape? The scale of violence perpetrated on women is stunning. From subjugation as sexual slaves to control by economic or religious means, women lead lives fraught with challenges to her well being and even her existence. This is something the opposite sex simply doesn’t have to grapple with and hence not fully aware of. I salute the skilled and sensitive writing with which you’ve made your debut in sajha. Welcome aboard and I look forward to more of your work. |
| nescient | Posted
on 09-Feb-04 11:40 PM
:) czar and there was only one person to feel my pain? |
| garibmaila | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 01:21 AM
oh so u were really raped?next time, be careful gal, there are lots of sick guys around! |
| senor | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 03:09 AM
garib, are you a bahun? |
| senor | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 03:37 AM
Kudos to the poet....touches the soul |
| bhenda2 | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 08:55 AM
So sad...girls be careful there are sick men around. |
| Arnico | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 01:19 PM
A touching poem, superbly written. I second all that czar has said. Nescient, welcome to sajha. |
| SITARA | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 02:14 PM
nescient, touching! Many feel your pain, many more cannot express it. |
| east coast boy | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 05:01 PM
very touchy and well written regards, |
| oys_chill | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 05:31 PM
Yes very well expressed. Truly empathize your feelings ...but at the same time, suddenly you delineate your perfect lover to a vicious monster. And what is surprising is that the writer was well aware of what was coming next. Roses, dinner and wine set the atmosphere. Kisses and touches set the mood. I'm sorry, but I think curiosity killed the cat. Yes, czar dai, there's so much violence against women and as much as I respect them, in this particular case, I have to give benefit of the doubt to the male monster. |
| MS_INDEPENDENT | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 06:01 PM
Touchy, must have been a valentine's night. I was also thinking the same thing, she knew what was next. She shouldn't have gone to bed with him in the first place if she wasn't ready for it. Thats why girls, before you take such a step....think about it carefully....it could change many things....and plz DON'T LET OTHERS USE U. Beware of mad guys around you... nescient, hope you'll feel better :) |
| SITARA | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 06:25 PM
Roses and wine is not an assumed pre-condition to rape. Here, trust and respect factors are involved. If the girl wishes to back out, that is her every right to do so. The guy needed to understand the meaning of "NO!". The bottom line is, she was violated! |
| AX | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 06:38 PM
Get the cue from the Colorado woman who has accused Kobe Bryant of sexual assault. May be you can make some dough :) |
| SITARA | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 06:39 PM
are not* |
| MS_INDEPENDENT | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 07:13 PM
Thats right Sitara, but there would very few guys who would respect those rights. |
| nescient | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 07:43 PM
Correction:MY pain=THE pain " she KNEW what was next" How can a person be sure what is coming next?Can't a couple just have a romantic dinner w/o involving sex?"shouldn't have gone bed with him in the first place...." Maybe my writing is not clear?or maybe i gotta define the meaning of rape?Rape is something that is done w/o a person's consent?something forcefully?It's not like the person is given an option. And since when did roses,wine,music gave a meaning of "let's have sex"?In many cases people do but one can not deduce that he/she is going to have sex after that?Couldn't have agreed w/ Sitara more. Thanks to you all for a warm welcome! |
| oys_chill | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 08:27 PM
I am sorry Nescient..if i am sounding too critical. I agree with you completely. Gals are being taken advantage of. I am jus looking at from a different angle.....perhaps from a guy's side. Your lips moved to my neck, And slowly it moved down, The music kept on playing. Gently you unbottoned my shirt, And so did I. Our bare skin felt against each others' It was warm and pleasant. Hmm! You loved it till then. NO protest...and u had no idea what was coming next? interesting. Now, what will guy make out of all this? Then you say NO. Do you expect him to say "sorry, darling, i was just kidding." Don't you think that was a little too much encouragement? I might be wrong...Ideals like trust, respect look great on paper, but les face it..world is not ideal. And Its always the MEN who abuse that trust n respect no? It doesn't mean to belittle your wonderful writing however. Yes, sure hope to read more...sorry I can't stand on the same page as you on this one! |
| confused | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 08:46 PM
i dont have any comments on poem but the "poem" it self cudnt be better..what a shout of an emotion ..such a expression..liked it. |
| MS_INDEPENDENT | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 09:22 PM
nescient, there are many other things that goes with it which of course I would rather not talk about...It's not going to make anyone feel better anyway. but that sure was a nice poem. keep it up :) |
| bhairab | Posted
on 10-Feb-04 10:53 PM
What nescient wrote in her poem is a very common across cultures. This is something that keeps happening all the time. Man has, through the passage of history, always used his physical force for his carnal pleasures. Maybe male animals have been genetically programmed to be more forceful in continuing their specy. Like the need for food, the need for sex is a basic instinct. Because the male animal needs to be the one who is the active partner - ie the penis needs to be erect in order to have sex, nature seems to have made the male specy a little more agressive once they reach an excited state. In human beings, we want to have equality for the sexes. Ideally it's a valid point, both are humans they need to be treated equally. But, we fail to recognize the genetic build of the male desire once they have reached an excited state. Once excited, the male brain is taken over by the basis instinct that says "MATE!" It would be in her best interest for a female to not get a male excited if she is not ready for intercourse. Most males are understanding upto the point that no clothes are taken off. Most men can stand kissing, smooching and not have the urge to have sex forcibly. But once clothes are taken off and even more if private parts are touched, then it is very risky situation for a female to be in if she is not expecting to have sex. Because men are genetically programmed to mate once excited. Take for example teasing a hungry dog with a bone. He will bite! If you did not tease him and just walked by and let him be on his own, he will not bother you. But if you tease him with a bone, he will come after you and attack you to get the bone. This is basic instincts. And a man will be no exception if you show him the bone and get him excited. Of course there will be deviants in the society who rapes random victims. And that is a deplorable crime - having sex forcibly against someones will. But, if a normal gentleman who you thought you might have actually loved or liked, acts forceful after you have kissed, felt each other, gotten naked, and gotten him excited, - then you might want to consider stopping at the first sign of force. |
| the other one | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 09:02 AM
The poem itself is great, but I am not going to be a shrink, moralist, ethicist to brand what is right and wrong keeping it in a social setting and I dont know if the author himself/herself wanted that out of all the sajhaits. If he/she does, then I believe it should not be in the form of a poem, as we all can see how it affects the aesthetic milieu. |
| SITARA | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 09:12 AM
"You led me on and therefore, I raped you!!!", is a faulty logic, at best. As is, the BMW was standing there with the engine running, so I stole it; as is, he provoked me to it, so I shot him!!!! It removes the responsibility from the criminal to circumstantial provocation. If the guy is CONVINCED that his wine and flowers would lead to sex (regardless of cooperation), he has already set the stage for rape!!!! Rape is a lethal combination of lust and mere physical domination. It is discomforting to know that people do justify rape. |
| nescient | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 09:47 AM
more i listen to sitara the more i start likking sitara :) |
| pushplay1 | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 01:03 PM
For him, To take things for granted emerged triumphant in his mind his mind, bear out mind into the lust valley, spiteful intentions; bloomed just to please the hungry mind. For you, Hoping none of this is true happened just because you helped brew What a "perfect" night, I must say! Dinner, Roses, Candles, Music turned ill-fortune perceived ambience deceived you. What a "reprehensible ambience", i must say! Still for you, The next day, mirror spoke thousand words same you, accompanied by different images. For whom once your heart used to toll, you could behold him; in your heart, mind, soul, veins. Beholden to his celestial visions that comfort you much, But not anymore. Thoughts in you bouncing back and forth saying I'm gald you are caught. |
| nescient | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 03:50 PM
Sometimes you get carried away.And as the person was being undressed she was protesting but at the same time she was letting him undress her....C'mon she was with the love of her life.....she had never imagined that she would have to do something against her will?Oys I suppose you are right....in a way it was encouraging him.She should have kicked him,you know where, and said "hell with you".But she didn't....tragic! |
| u_day | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 05:07 PM
Oyster!!! Let me tell you something. When it comes to rape, "NO" means "NO" even if it is in the middle of intercourse. But there is a double standerd on this rule of thumb. Girls can say "No" and easily back out from sex but guys can't pull out. If a guy says "No" after wining, dining and smooching, the girl would seduce him until he goes: "yes, yes, yes, oh yeah!" That is, my frind, how girls use sex to control guys and if they cannot control the situation, they just use their last resort also known as "Rape". That is why I think men are the primary victim in date-rape cases. They are victim of women's seduction and and all the things that create the situation for the perfect crime which they become bound to commit...... So, guys if your phone rings at 2 in the morning and there is a girl says "hello", do what Wyclef, a famous hip-hopper, said in his first album. Think with your mind and not your pistol. Cuz if you listen to our tool and go to get the girl you will hear, "RAPE RAPE RAPE." and an officer will be running after you who wil not give a flying f*ck about what you have to say and arrest you. ( Who said rap is not educational ??????????????? ) |
| The_Gentleman | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 05:44 PM
nescient, lets talk about the aftermath! apparently, you seem to remember the valet approach and easily succumbed to the course. have you asked him how he felt after what had happened? your side of the story, with all its decorative ornaments creates a monster out of this guy. But, you should see how he reacts when u talk to him and whether he feels the same way about u or not. if possible, do tell us. cause we're all worried about you! peace |
| nescient | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 06:09 PM
Thanks a lot for the concern.I think,the aftermath was "oh!well....it happened and there is nothing I can do to turn back the time.Sorry,I suppose?I don't know what more I am suppose to say or do.Don't tell me you are going to hold that against me.It was only one night,only one time.Don't make a big deal out of it" So was it my "decorated oranments" that "creat[ed] a monster out of [him] " or was he already a monster? U_Day,couldn't have agreed more. |
| u_day | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 06:09 PM
Nescient! Nice poem!! what a twist. I would like to recite it with some background. If I may.... If I had a magic bottle .... ... Warm summer night, Hot and spicy Mexican dinner, my favourite Roses all around the room, like the way i always wanted Glasses of wine, Candle lights lit the place, just perfect Soft music, You and I, all alone in a beautiful room. What a perfect night!!!! You moved closer, I was glad. Your first touch, Melted my heart. ( STOP!!!!!!!!! You had your nice romantic dinner. Tell him that you are bloaded with the all that mexican beans and need to go home to use the toilet. Start thinking about your excused to get out of there.... Your lips touched mine, ( Back off! Don't kiss him. Your breath stinks. Remember you just had that spicy Mexican dinner that is making your breath smell like garlic. How can you kiss a guy with that stinky breath????? ) And for the very first time, I felt alive. Your arms wrapped around my body, Felt secure, As if you would never let me go. (Don't let him wrap his arms around you. You just ate dinner for crying out loud. If he hlds you to tight, you might throw-up him.) What a perfect night!!!! Your lips moved to my neck, And slowly it moved down, The music kept on playing. (Maybe it is not the music playig in the background. Maybe you are just nauseated because he has been twisting yor body) Gently you unbottoned my shirt, And so did I. (Hold it now! Just hold it!!! How could you let him take off your shirt? Don't you know that you should not take off your clothes in front of anybody???? don't you have any shyness? If not, go and buy some .... ) Our bare skin felt against each others' It was warm and pleasant. (That's it. I am outta here. Kasto laaz nabhayeko keti raicha.... You are on your own now) What a perfect night!!!! You took off your pants, And came to undress mine, I said NO. I am not ready for this,I told. But you didn't listen Our clothes were one by one dropped on the floor I screamed,I pushed,I begged But it was nothing more than a street dogs' bark. Tears rolled down, But you didn't stop. Glasses shattered, Just like my heart. ( I hate to say this but Khuchingggggggggg. I told you to get out of there but NOOO. You had to lick his face and feel his skin,eh? [damn that's harse.... sorry. aight I can't do this anymore. I feel really sorry about what happened] ) The next day,I looked at myself in the mirror I was still the same Nothing had changed,physically. Just that I had become a woman But so much had changed From that day,I am a dead person walking Love of my life.... That's what I you make me feel, You not only raped my body But my soul too. What a "perfect" night,I must say! |
| nescient | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 07:38 PM
Laughter is the best medicine.Even in circumstances like this there is always a place for humor.Thanks to uday :) |
| pushplay1 | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 11:29 PM
Question is my friend, does the victim here take this incident as so called "Rape" or just a mere pass time???????????? By the way your so called "love of your life" took this monstrous approach just bcoz of you. Dont tell me the whole ambience and the kissing and the taking off shirts and rubbing of bodes against each other rang a bell in your headdddddd... Every sane person would opt out in such situations by any means unless ... Last but not the least, its not a big deal but why am i making such a big issue?? I think there is a bit of monster in all of us. Here the act was such, that the stimuli was negative. |
| pushplay1 | Posted
on 11-Feb-04 11:31 PM
correction "Bodies" |
| SITARA | Posted
on 12-Feb-04 05:43 AM
Come now guys, picking Nescient apart is unecessarily ruthless/harsh No? God forbid, you guys hold the same views if such an attrocity were to happen to anyone of your siblings! "Khucching!!!" would hardly resolve their pain. |
| Rusty | Posted
on 12-Feb-04 05:57 AM
lol Uday.... |
| u_day | Posted
on 12-Feb-04 08:21 AM
Sitara ji! I know I should have write that. I am sorry if I offended you or anybody else in that case. I was worried that nescient would be offended but see seems be fine with that comment. Rusty bro! Doesn't that sound like Dre and Eminem's guilty concious video ??? I am thinking about casting Missy for the dre's part and kristina for the victim. What the email address of that chinese music video direcor??? |
| czar | Posted
on 13-Feb-04 11:42 AM
The interplay of barely concealed finger pointing here has been instructive. I see an authoritative declaration that men are the ‘primary victims’ in date rape, victims of women’s seduction. Another states the automatic assumption that any girl calling at 2 am is asking to be raped. Wow. So we’ve been unable to grow beyond the culturally ingrained gender perceptions that assign women specific roles most often limited to that of ‘mother, aunt, grandmother, daughter, sister or wife.’ Any female, not of our family or family social circle, that doesn’t fit into these pre-defined slots is automatically categorized as possibly having loose morals. And by extension, a s*e*x object. So that call at 2 AM from her can be interpreted as an engraved invitation to be molested. Why else would she call anyway? No decent woman does, or so goes the reasoning. That conveniently precludes contemplation of this reaching out as someone seeking comfort whilst facing personal demons or a bad situation. How dare she hope for a willing ear to hear her out? She’s nothing but a S L* T, what else could she want? So, treat her as she deserves. R A P E her! *S*e*x, as far as most understand it, is a CONSENSUAL act between two adults. With the implicit understanding that the CONSENT is retractable. At which point can either or both parties withdraw that consent? At ANY time they see fit. Before the wine and roses? Yes. Can it after they’ve undressed? Yes. Can it be after they’ve exchanged passionate kisses? YES. Can either one can call it off even in the throes of passion, smack dab in the middle of it all? Absolutely. For those that need it, it’s defined as “coitus interruptus.” Brutal, but that’s how it works, or lack thereof based on one’s position. For those that labor under the illusion that there lies this explicit point beyond which it’s called ‘consensual’, then give it a rethink. If the guy decides he doesn’t like her perfume and stops her from launching into Appendix 11 of the Kamasutra its show over. If the woman doesn’t like the color of the ceiling paint at any moment and she says “NO” then that’s it. Is the haze of lust gripping one sufficiently justifiable reason to plough on with the now unwilling partner? Nope. C’est finis. Curtains. Bow and exit. Or prepare for charges of rape to be pressed. So do let's recognize and accept the validity of the situation expressed in the poem and give the poetess a fair shake of the dice. |
| oys_chill | Posted
on 13-Feb-04 12:33 PM
"If the woman doesn’t like the color of the ceiling paint at any moment and she says “NO” then that’s it. Is the haze of lust gripping one sufficiently justifiable reason to plough on with the now unwilling partner? Nope. C’est finis. Curtains. Bow and exit. Or prepare for charges of rape to be pressed. My sentiments ditto. I really didn't want to comment on this again cause it would be doing so much injustice to the author, for the poem itself was such a beautiful one. However, now as we've bought the topic and notion of rape..it took a different twist. Now, suddenly the victim has begun to glorify her RAPe case. Yes, it is certainly bold to post it in a public forum if she needed emotional support. NOw for those of you, the sheer advocates who feel uneasy and rather condemn rape so much, will you continue to sympathize or bring that monster to justice? will you or not? No i am not asking for pages of justification or moral bound issues here..if its so easy for him to undersand the term NO, (as u all put it, he should listen)..why not teach this monster a lesson huh? what do u say?..les hear it....or the victim in this case TOOO KIND? or the old fashioned gender perception that we all deny to live under, will save him ? |
| nescient | Posted
on 13-Feb-04 04:56 PM
Justice needs to be done and he needs to be taught a lesson so that it won't happen to anyone else.But there is no punishment enough for the pain the person feels.There is always going to be a deep scar buried inside her heart for that night.Once a person has been betrayed,once a person has been heart broken,once a person's dreams has been shattered,it's hard to move on with life specially in circumstances like thisone.And no emotional support can heal the wound.There is a good lesson both guys and girls can learn from this. Happy V-Day to you all!! |
| SITARA | Posted
on 13-Feb-04 06:13 PM
OK, here is a reality check for those of you who think date rape is a joke! My colleague's 13 year old daughter was raped by a friend from the neighborhood. They had all gone out partying and she had gotten drunk. Then her childhood friend raped her!!! She was a mess, she flunked all of her examinations, and is an emotional mess. Initially, her mother wanted to press charges against the boy but, the girl was such a wreck that she did not want to be dragged through the whole scene in court. It has been two years now and the girl is still going through trauma. Finally, her mother has pressed charges. Guess what, last week they went to court. The girl had to relive the whole ordeal in public... unable to do so, she was led out of the courtroom, hysterical!!!! Bravo you guys who think it is all a joke!!! |
| u_day | Posted
on 13-Feb-04 08:31 PM
czar bro, Chill out!!! That phone call at 2 AM incident was in a song...... I was just trying to use that an example. I guess I was not clear enough in the thread above when I mentioned artist Whyclef John and what he said about RAPE in his last album. Sitara ji, Thank you for the reality check but I could not cash the fact that They were partying and drinking that day. ( when you said 'drinking', you meant alcohol, right? ) Well! as long as we have 13 year old kids drinking we can not redicule social vice like RAPE. Shouldn't we be thinking how we can stop a 13 year old from drinking rather than deciding who is the "primary victim" and who is the "secondary victim" in RAPE????? FYI I don't think rape is a joke but defenitely think that people who do not stop it when they can are jokers. arios, u-day |
| u_day | Posted
on 13-Feb-04 08:37 PM
Furthermre, laughter is the best medicine. |
| bhunte | Posted
on 13-Feb-04 08:43 PM
nescient, Did you report to law authorities? Did you save semen specimens stained in your body? Research reports say most rape cases go unreported. when the love was mockery on the part of the guy, you should go ahead reporting it. Don't delay reporting. If it is just a made up story, nice date-rape poem! |
| bhunte | Posted
on 13-Feb-04 08:46 PM
Nescient, traumatic! |
| u_day | Posted
on 14-Feb-04 08:52 AM
bhunte bro! what does a report do???? It is not gonna bring her that night back or is it???? It is just gonna reignite his/her memory. But that doesn't mean I am discouraging victims to report rape case. They should report and make the perpetrator get the punishment he/she deserved:@ |
| SITARA | Posted
on 14-Feb-04 09:06 AM
Rape: An Explanation and a Preventative Perspective from Law Enforcement Educators by Renee Douglas Banks and Thomas C. Colangelo, Jr. from VCCA Journal, Volume 8, Number 1, Summer 1993, 24-29 © Copyright 1993 VCCA Journal A Definition of Rape Rape is defined as having sexual intercourse with a person, generally a female, against his or her will with the use of force or the threat of force. (Wrobleski and Hess 115). It is usually considered the most serious crime after murder and carries with it heavy penalties. In the past, rape was considered as a type of deviance. This is no longer an acceptable label for this kind of behavior, and rape is now considered a violent, personal, assaultive type of criminal behavior. There are four main elements that constitute rape as a crime in the United States (Wrobleski and Hess, 1986, p.116). First, rape is an act of sexual intercourse. This intercourse must involve penetration, and any degree of penetration of the vagina by the penis or an inanimate object is sufficient to constitute sexual intercourse. Actual emission of semen is not required. Second, although many states have revised their laws to include rape as a forcible sex act committed by and on both males and females, the definition of rape as occurring with a female other than a wife is still used in the successful prosecution of rape cases. Third, rape is committed without the victim's consent. If consent has been given voluntarily by an adult in a sexual relationship, then rape is not a consideration. However, any kind of consent given because of mental impairment, emotional retardation or disturbance, fear, panic, or drug induced moods, is not considered to be true consent. Lastly, rape occurs against the victim's will and is accomplished by force. This element of the crime of rape is usually the most difficult to prove and is the one most subject to attack by the defense. A differentiation should be made between forcible rape, statutory rape, aggravated rape, simple rape, and date rape. Forcible rape is sexual intercourse against a person's will by use or threat of force. Statutory rape is sexual intercourse with a minor, with or without voluntary consent, due to the designated age of majority (Bennett and Hess 349). Aggravated rape involves using force, threats or immediate use of force, or rape that occurs when someone is either unconscious, mentally impaired, or unable or incapable of fending off a rape attacker. Simple rape merely involves the offender misleading the victim about the nature of the act that is being performed. This would include having intercourse under the guise of a medical examination, or the offender knowingly destroying the victim's will to resist by using drugs, alcohol, or other intoxicants (Wrobleski and Hess 115). Date rape is considered to be sexual intercourse that occurs when two adults are in a social, dating relationship and sexual intercourse occurs without mutual consent. *********************************** Let's do away with the subjective arguments and delve deeper into what holds up in court. Just incase, anyone thinks he can get away with wine, roses and "she asked for it" mentality. |
| SITARA | Posted
on 14-Feb-04 09:12 AM
U_day, my sweet friend; You missed a point; rape is not about age... nor about gender. Yes, men can get raped by other men/women too... wine and roses do not have to be involved. |
| Biruwa | Posted
on 14-Feb-04 10:44 AM
I had read the poem when it was first published in sajha a few days ago. I felt empathy with the victim there. In the same breath, I must say as well that the present society is being deceived with what is appropriate and inappropriate. It can never be a sane decision for a girl to be naked infront of a josh ma bhayeko guy. It is a known fact that many girls use the sex factor to cheap gain advantages in life. Just yesterday, I was reading a msn news about an experiment (by a tv show) in which guys failed where girls succeded by means of their sensuality. Is that proper? Sex is a delicate subject and what is right for one is wrong for another person. This difference become exaggerated when we look at the views of a man and a woman (guy and a girl). After all, it is easier to sympathise with an individual who belongs in your own group. We must look at the cause of the crime rather than only the crime itself. America has been going that way. But our society and the third world is still hung up with pseudo-modern hand-downs from the british era and the aged-american values of the mid-70s. We believe the foreign value system of the old communists but refuse to follow our own value system. Every effect has a cause and we make a huge mistake when we consider only part of the reality. |
| nescient | Posted
on 14-Feb-04 03:42 PM
Bhunte: Nop it wasn't reported to the authorities |
| u_day | Posted
on 16-Feb-04 01:56 PM
Dear sitara ji, I don't know if you didn't get my point or you just don't want to comment on that. Whichever the reason is, I think we are deverting the main subject of the thread. So, I am not gonna argue anymore and leave it as it is. arios, u-day |
| nanu_kanchi | Posted
on 16-Feb-04 03:20 PM
what do men see when they first meet a girl. lay her in beds.. and tear her apart. . likely, when a women first meets a man what she thinks is holding hands and walk through the journey of life. men think of fifteen minutes pleasure when women expect more, she expects the man to love her all her life.. men thinks of satisfaction and women thinks of making moments perfect.. |
| nanu_kanchi | Posted
on 16-Feb-04 03:21 PM
what do men see when they first meet a girl. lay her in beds.. and tear her apart. . likely, when a women first meets a man what she thinks is holding hands and walk through the journey of life. men think of fifteen minutes pleasure when women expect more, she expects the man to love her all her life.. men thinks of satisfaction and women thinks of making moments perfect.. |
| u_day | Posted
on 17-Feb-04 11:42 AM
****Disclaimer**** NOT ALLL MEN ARE ALIKE. |
| nescient | Posted
on 17-Feb-04 01:09 PM
Not all men are alike but in average MOST OF THEM are alike.But yes,we can't come to a conclusion about the men gender just because few (or most) of them are jerks. |
| nepali_angel | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 06:18 AM
Though I don't feel that the poem was based on real life travails( but I will give her the benefit of the doubt), I must concede that some of the stances men have used for defending rape has left me non plused. There are even laws in some states like Illinois (see this example) where no means no, even when intercourse has already begun. Since the act hasn't even commenced, the case that the poem paints a picture of, is rather simple, and so in my mind, in the court of law, the perpetrator will be found guilty of committing this heinous crime and will be sent to jail, provided that there are some proofs of the violation. The problem is that as days fly by, it will be more and more difficult to prove because of lack of evidence. If you have been raped, there are some I don't understand why Nescient did not report it to the police. That doesn't make any sense! |
| GurL_Interrupted | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 11:29 AM
HI Nescient, I read ur writing couple of days ago, I thought u had done a very good job expressing ur experiences & emotions. I can totally empathize with you...I think I do! But I might be wrong too!...Who knows! Anyways! I am sure you know life much more than I do perhaps! But as a well wisher, I would love to see u accept ur past, leave it behind & move on! Show him u can survive with or w/o him! Next time, just be careful! Don't let anyone scar ur Life & everything that u hold close to ur heart/soul. Don't let anyone take it away 4rm u! U go GurL!! If Life is a bitch...show it, u r bitchier! :-)! Take care sis. |
| nescient | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 11:48 AM
Okay question,why does everyone think that it happened to ME?It seems like everyone has jumped to the conclusion that the girl is me? :-? |
| the other one | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 01:28 PM
Exactly my point Nascent... |
| the other one | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 01:28 PM
oooops, sorry, I plucked your "i" out.. |
| hansy420 | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 02:26 PM
nescient, What took you so freakin' long to let us all know it wasn't U??? :D; |
| acharya | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 02:28 PM
What made u think it was her [for so long]? |
| hansy420 | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 02:50 PM
acharya, have you gone through her poem yet? I guess not....please do. You won't regret it...and lemme know what would make you think it wasn't her. Nice try though, you almost got me there :D |
| nescient | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 05:33 PM
If you read my comments carefully you will see that i have always referred to the person in the poem as "she"/ "her" never as "me"/ "I".Just didn't know I would actually have to spell it out and say it's not me :) But yes the incident is based on a true life story :) |
| u_day | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 08:06 PM
Finally,aye! |
| u_day | Posted
on 18-Feb-04 08:09 PM
And I had all that guilt trips for nothing. Thanks alot nescient. |
| nescient | Posted
on 19-Feb-04 07:32 PM
LOL Uday sorry abt that,didn't mean to. |
| _sage | Posted
on 21-Feb-04 05:59 PM
Rape is forcing someone in a sexual way without their consent. The second one person decides they don't want to continue and withdraws consent, then the other person has to stop, or it's rape. In the comments above I already see some genetic arguments: men are built to be more violent and to pursue sex to spread their genes -- born to rape basically. This is no excuse! Men have some different hormones and other physical/mental differences, but I believe that most of the difference is cultural. And because human beings have free will, they can decide to be better than their instincts. You can't kill someone whenever you feel a violent impulse toward them, can you? Same way, you can't rape someone whenever you feel a lustful impulse toward them. I also saw "women are asking for it" arguments and I don't buy it either. Don't women have a right to be an equal human being and have dinner and kiss someone and even caress them, without thinking they 'owe' someone sex. *** Not even if you're in a sexual situation with them to begin with ! No Means No! Whenever it is said ! *** Men have to realize this. Some men take it for granted that women are there to have sex with them. I think this is cultural programming, and the roles that society teaches about masculinity. It's also because men have more power throughout their lives, they just get used to having power over women. They think it's 'natural'. But it's not natural, it's only an unjust situation of the present. I hope that humanity evolves from this present day, until all people realize that sex without consent is rape and abhorrent. Yes, the man in the poem might hve a bruised ego. Maybe he's frustrated. Maybe he should go home and think about this woman, why he likes her, and if he's to be interested in her for who she is, or because he thinks he'll get to have sex with her. If he doesn't like her, then he should not pursue her. If he does really care about her then he will wonder why she is being like this. Maybe she was abused earlier in her life, or maybe she's got strict conservative morals conflicting with her sexual desires, and she really is NOT ready for it like she told him before he raped her. |