| Username |
Post |
| Ram Prasad |
Posted
on 21-Feb-04 07:02 PM
I first saw her when I was attending community college. She used to work in the Student Services. Me, never being a open person, used to pass by ignoring her sweet Indian smile. She was not as attractive as the girls that I used to see in the college. Semester went by without acknowledging her existence. Later on, I became friends with her due to the friends that she used to have which were my friends, too.
One day I found thru my friends that she likes me. I neglected it saying that I am not interested in any relationship.
We became close friends although I knew that she likes me. She used to call me everyday to see how I was doing and we used talk for hours. I told her that I knew she likes me and I was not going to change to pursue any relationship. She told me that she will change me regardless.
I have heard that person will start thinking about other person if he/she knows that the other person has been thinking about him/her. Same thing happened with me. I even took her out to tell her once for and all that I am not interested in any relationship. But she won. I started having feeling for her.
I started listening love songs, enjoyed romantic movies. I started buying gifts for her. After a year of tug of war in my feelings for her, I finally confessed that I was madly in love with her.
The girl that I saw unattractive before was my angel now. She was perfect for all the reasons except the look but that did not matter me. She knew what I wanted. She gave me my space when I needed. She knew what was important for me. She never demanded her space. She was a girl that everybody would like to have as a companion for life.
After a year, she started getting marriage proposals. She told me so. I told her to hang in there till I talked to my parents.
Around 2001, I decided to go back to Nepal. She was worried that my parents might force me to get married there and she even told me to tell my parents about her when I was back there. I never had a courage of telling my parents that I have someone back in US who is desperately waiting for me. I could not enjoy my stay there. I came back soon although I was visiting Nepal after 4 years of gap.
I was happy to be back. We continued our daily routines of meeting each other, going movies, eating out....pretty much spending much more time together.
During this all time, she was telling me to marry her as soon as possible before her parents would find some guy for her. Although I was madly in love with her, I could not talk to my parents. They had different dreams for me which I was suppose to fulfill which I knew before I left for US back in 1997.
Finally her wait totally gave up on me and she told me that I have to marry her within the end of 2003.
I finally decided to break up with her coz I was scared of my parents dream of bringing me back to Nepal and marrying somebody they choose.
Yeah.....I started thinking how important was she to me after the break up. The more I thought how she had treated me brought me closer to her. The more I thought about her, the more I became closer to her but she was going away. She was broken hearted due to break up. But I never let her know that I was suffering the same on the other end.
One day she told me that she is going back to her country. I decided that I will tell her that I wanted to come back to her life if she lets me before she heads back to her country. But probably she was more stronger then I thought. Her answer shocked my whole attitude about myself after she said "NO." I never thought that the girl who change me would change herself like that.
Yes...I know that I did not initiate the talk with my parents....yes...I loved her but I did not have enough courage to tell my parents that that I already have someone in my life which they like it or not, they had to except it. Probably that was the reason that she did not want me back in her life. Anyway, who likes the person who does not count her/him as a family after a such a long relationship. I don't blame her.
Now she is married. One cannot imagine my days after I saw "Mangal Sutra" in her neck. I was not even part of the wedding. I even could not wish her in her life changing event.
I cannot imagine how she could take somebody as a life partner after keeping me in her body and soul for a such a long time. Whew.....I congratulate in her strong being....
Now I am all alone awake whole night thinking what did I miss. I evaluate my relation with her and think that probably I am not going get such a caring person like her ever in my life.
I have a "on the rock" whisky in front me in a glass and all I am thinking about is why not me. It wasn't any kind of infatuation that I had with her. I was involved physically and emotionally with her.
It's taking toll on me to forget her. I did not know her real value after I lost her for my life. I wish she could come back to me and say that "......I am back and I will love you for eternity" but that is not going to happen in this life.
Anyway....I just wanted to tell her that I will always wait for her if not this birth but many more births to come.......but it's too late.........she is gone forever being somebody's companion for life.
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| M.P. |
Posted
on 21-Feb-04 07:15 PM
Not meaning to rule this out as a cliche, but, if appropriately analyzed, this incident could easily depict a biyogaatmak Bollywood movie. It is amazing how one person's description of his agony can be an appealing, amusing read for another person. A short piece of advice--not from experience, though--move on! But again, easier said than done. I am sad for you.
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| angel |
Posted
on 21-Feb-04 10:24 PM
I couldnt' hold my tears while going through ur piece of writing.
anyway Ram Prasad life is a journey.....keep walking .......
good luck :-)
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| confused |
Posted
on 21-Feb-04 10:35 PM
"NO ONE IS WORTH UR teARS..tHey come And tHEY go this is the Journey of LIFe"
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| jacko |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 07:51 AM
Loving someone should foster confidence. I doubt you loved her. Do you realize you went through all that grief without even letting your parents know how you were trying to keep them happy, by respecting their wishes.
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 09:13 AM
The moral of the story is:
Don't mess with love if you can't commit to it!
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| dibya |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 10:13 AM
Peope realize it too late when it is all gone. I wish you had realised how important she was to you when you had her. Pleople donot understand till the last minute is over-- what their priorities are.And, here you are wounded for the rest of your life . She indeed was a strong person, I must say.
But, at least now you know how to value someone's presence in your life. I am sure you will not do it again. Learning a lesson and implying it in your life is the best part out of your previous mistakes. Make sure you willnot make the other person who comes in your life suffer because of this or you will be re-doing your mistakes all over again!
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 11:19 AM
they have a old saying..... " NEPALI KO BUDDHI AAUNA TA AAUNCHA>>> TARA DHERAI PACHI".. when its done n gone......
yb
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| acharya |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 11:21 AM
Can someone summarize the story...too lazy to read the whole thing..~~
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| k0201 |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 11:24 AM
This situation reminds me of a famous quote "How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself." ...we wouldn't have problems like the one in this scenario....
Dude! How could you? I am not trying to rub it in your face but you could've at least tried little harder on your part. Now all i have to say is hang tight and hope for the best.
-regards
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 12:04 PM
he's is a one hand man.. hangin in a clifff .. while his balls r itching..
yb
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| Arnico |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 12:07 PM
Ram Prasad, I hope you allow yourself to grieve enough to be able to put things behind you and to move on in life. Hope you find someone you love and who loves you.
One thing that came to mind... and I may be over-generalizing... but it's been my experience and observation that there is something important missing in the "education" of the average Nepali male: the confidence and the skill to stand up and disagree with one's parents in order to protect the woman one loves.
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| AX |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 12:16 PM
Ram Prasad, i feel your pain brother. I got a good suggestion. Go back home ani uta gayera bheda chanya jastari keti chanera biye garne. That way everybody will be happy.
show that indian girl you are a real man ;)
long time k0201 bro, how you been?
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 12:20 PM
arnico bro u might be right bout at some extent... but then, we r not raised up that way,, when u try to do sumthing that you want and your parents don't.. they will emotionally manipulate you.. n i see no way out..... they wiil tell you the story since the day you were born till today.. n their dreams on you.. trust meh.. when ur parents tell you all that u won't go against em.. its not just a story of one nepalese family but all, it happens everywhere.. perhaps the next generation would be lil more unerstandin.......
yb
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 12:22 PM
but in the case like of ram prasad.. u should stand against ur parents..
yb
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 12:45 PM
Agree with YB completely. I don't think its the education an average nepali lacks..common now, maybe JUST MAYBE(not generalizing either), some nepali GUYS, value the happiness and the values their parents bear before theirs or their love....and I have immense respect for these people for they are not easily as blinded by western ideals which make some of believe that this is the ONLY RIGHT WAY!!
Being brought up in a certain way has got more to do with this authero than his lack of confidence or his committment as many of you so easily put it...what was he to do? go and tell his parents "I love an indian gal..i don't give a damn what you think...I don't care if you have to live in shame in a society for the rest of your lives...My love far outweighs the sacrifices you've made for me.....so accept it..its my way love way, or the american wy...stop thinking like a typical nepali ;)y" :) sure, they'd be so happy...they'd understand and say "balla aaja mero sapna sakar bhayo"....love is all conquering..in the era of 21st century (era of the braindrain), who gives a shit about society and family values...stop being selfish, and commtt to your love ;) ..Bravo to the advocates of TRUE LOVE!!!
To RAM P. BRO: Better things are on your way...no point crying over the spilt milk..as mez bro used to say "america ma khoji khoji, nepal ma roji roji ;)
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| k0201 |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 01:36 PM
RP if you need to put all this behind, make a nice tall "wishkey on the rocks"
Hey AX bro, halkhabar sabi thik thak! Ani how is things with you? heard that you moved. I have been pretty busy myself. now I am back!! Also holla at OYS.... study hard.....and thiti khojne ho bhane i'll tag along wih you....Mez is so right....
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| Junu |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 01:53 PM
It made me cry. Good job oys as always.
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 01:58 PM
Oh ko201 bruu...aka Keanu Reeves ;)
nadekhi ra..kasto achanak...kya bhainkaar entry..aanchhhhhhhhhh!! ma ta almost forgot who you were for a while........ani tyo ride samjhen......dorm samma puryaideko :) Thank you pani ramrari bhanna pako chaina......som ta gayab!
Studies ta gai racha ni dai.....aaba tungo launu parya cha. Boru, I might be around your hometown sometime in April :)..khabar garumla! loo..nice to see you around birader!
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| SimpleGal |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 05:15 PM
I agree with Arnico's observation.
I have seen many situations similar to that of Ram Prasad's. It's difficult to find true love, and when one does find it, one must be courageous enough to keep it, or else will forever regret it! I hope you have the courage to look ahead in life and wish your lost love all the happiness she deserves...that's the best you can do for her.
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| Ram Prasad |
Posted
on 22-Feb-04 05:19 PM
Well.....I should have listen to my heart instead of fulfilling my parents dream. Now I don't have her and realize that I might never gonna love somebody the way I used to love her. I pray with god to give me strength. I hope somebody whoever is coming to my life in near future will help me forget her by giving all the love and attention that I used to get from her.
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| nsshrestha |
Posted
on 23-Feb-04 03:44 PM
Loser like you just repent.
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| kingkong |
Posted
on 23-Feb-04 06:28 PM
arko khoya ko katha
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| lost |
Posted
on 27-Feb-04 12:30 PM
you reallly deserve what you got. you led this girl on the whole time. you knew you wouldnt go for her at the end, and you still didnt tell her. since you didnt tell her, she trusted you and she got hurt even more when you broke up with her. and why didnt you tell her the truth, or why didnt you go for her, because you're a selfish coward. you just wanted to enjoy your time, without caring about her. she treated you good, too good, because you dont deserve anything like that. people like you need to suffer as much as they make other people suffer. i'm really sorry for the girls who will come accross your life.
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| Ram Prasad |
Posted
on 27-Feb-04 12:47 PM
Dude....
That was just the story.....god...give me a break before you guys start throwing rocks and stuffs at me.....
Anyway...thanks guys for the support and (un)support (?)...........
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| confused |
Posted
on 27-Feb-04 01:54 PM
"Anyway....I just wanted to tell her that I will always wait for her if not this birth but many more births to come.......but it's too late.........she is gone forever being somebody's companion for life. "
haha bro..what u did was obviously wrong..but common man we are human and make mistakes..you need to movve on..man..whatever happened happened--you were evil.if she thinks it that way-- then be it....nothing is worth ur time bro../bro love aint everything in life man..there is a real world u need to live up too..a world where you actually have to WORK and SURVIVE...and thats what you did..bro..i dont think you were wrong...nor were you right tho..
haha Ram prasad bro..i have learned that two things in life we should never do or commit to bro..pahila ta..if you have a doubt about the girl accepting you..never go for her..let her go...dont run after her..if you do..she will run away from you more further...nothing will happen ...she will end up hurting you...second never be depended
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| gham-pani |
Posted
on 27-Feb-04 03:04 PM
Ram Prasad,
You lost it man. Admit it. You were so wrong the whole time. If you were so scared about letting your parents know about your love, then that simply means you never paid any worth to it. Nor are you worthy of such love. People like you, hurt other people, destroy other people, and waste other people's lives. Learn not to be selfish. You should have thought that any of your action would have affected the poor girl. You were meant to be alone, and now you are and I hope you are suffering as much as you made the poor girl suffer.
People, nepalese people, if you really think your parents care about your happiness then why are you so scared of letting your parents know about your love. Even parents in Nepal should stop being so selfish and let their kid's live a life. Most of the parents just think about what will the society say to them, how they will appear before it if their son marries an out caste or someone from different ethnicity. They should stop being so selfish. They should care more of their kid's happiness than the society if they really love their kids.....
And we think that whatever our parents think for us is the right stuff. COme on man, parents are wrong so many times. We need to let them about that and need to let ourself know about it and work together with parents in seriuos matters like this....
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