| Username |
Post |
| stri_brood |
Posted
on 28-Feb-04 12:33 AM
Friday couldn’t have started on a better note. The looser woke up early today. Even though he hadn’t got much sleep the night before, he was positive. Amidst all the negatives, there was still a silver lining. He had waited another week just for an opportunity—an opportunity that would come banging on his door—to relate to someone like himself. By now he was quite certain that there were very few like him.
Of course, he wanted to make a hype about himself..perhaps feel a little important. He denied to his friend’s request. “No man! I am done with parties. I am done with alcohol. I am done with gals” he had replied back very confidently. He suddenly froze “DONE WITH GALS”? what the hell was he talking about? Yet, he wanted to go. He had a mission all established from the night before. Instead of sleeping, he had been planning strategies on—well what those gringos called LUCKY..well he wasn’t really looking for that either. He perhaps needed a company, not to love, not to time pass, maybe someone who’d see the world from his perspective. He had hope. Loser’s hope of course.
“Hey Stri!” His only friend called from the other end. “If you don’t come, I am gonna come there to pick you up” That’s all what the loser wanted. He was happy. He shaved, took a shower in a rush and began to choose an uniform that would bring the best out of him. He had never been so intense about choosing clothing. He began to chuckle within himself. He was so picky about a dress like a gal. But who cared? It was very important. He was on a mission. There’d be lot of the opposite sex tonite.
To everyone’s surprise, he reached the destination before anyone’s arrival. He even volunteered to clean the living room, mop the dance floor, and prepare drinks for all his friends. He couldn’t call them friends, yet today, he felt very close to them. They wanted him around, but not too much of him. They knew of his reputation. Just a couple of weeks back, he’d passed out right on the table before the night had even begun. The loser had seen the pictures and wondered where had all those pretty ladies come from. Tonite, he was taking it easy. He knew where he had gone wrong before. He was crystal clear about it.
So, the night began like always. The unfamiliar faces, the unheard voices, and the most torturing part, the music out of his context. He wished he was a fan of hip hop too. That was the worst wish he’d ever asked for. But he needed badly tonite. He stayed in the corner seeping. Strangely enough, he wasn’t drunk yet. He was seeping coke to his own surprise. The first bunch arrived and laughed at him. “Hey its you! Don’t drink more. We don’t want to see you on the table again” She smiled at him. He was electrocuted. He froze. She had said it from her heart. He’d seen her there a few times, never talked let alone dancing. “Its coke” He smiled back. “I know what it is” she sulked. Loser was euphoric at her disappointment. He felt there could be strangers in the planet that cared for other human beings. He was perhaps on dope to actually going over such an improbable thought.
The crowd grew huge. Loser had no luck so far. He was busy overlooking everyone. It was dark. He couldn’t see no light. It was like before. Nothing had changed. It seemed to him that he was the only alien there trying to find one of his species. He was stranded in the middle of the dance floor. He thanked it was dark, for it was pretty apparent for his embarrassment was turning him very pale—inside out. He now wished, it would have been much better if he were wasted like before. At least he wouldn’t be seeing losing his dignity with self introspection.
He went to Soto and asked for a ciggie. “when did you start smoking” he showed a genuine concern like her. “From now” The looser lit a ciggie for the first time. With ciggie in his hand, he felt like a man. He laughed at his own thoughts. It couldn’t be so bad. The rush of people, boys and gals of all ages didn’t stop. Whites, blacks, Hispanics, you name it..they were all there, each forming their own little circles identifying their group individuality. He thought hard for a moment where he could fit in. Soto pulled him to a group. He felt even worse. He was dancing with his friend’s girlfriend. They wanted to make him feel good. He could see it in their eyes. This was even more painful. Suddenly out of the blues, he saw a familiar face. There are very few people in this world who live inside a hope and loser was the leading candidate.
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| stri_brood |
Posted
on 28-Feb-04 12:35 AM
He wasn’t scared. He was not afraid of rejection. He was just scared of himself. How would he make sentences that would make perfect sense. He’d seen her in college a few times.he had gaped once walking by her in the street. She was perhaps from his part of the world. She was stranded in the other end. The crowd had turned into a passionate dancing frenzy. Hand in hand…arms wrapped around each other..body contours positioned like those of BET. He was jealous. He said to himself “that’s disgusting.”
He remembered of those nepali dances where he’d be the central attraction with everyone applauding at him. Noone liked him then either, but at least he had an individuality that beared significance. Here his significance was even worse than that of filling the few cracks on an insignificant floor . However, he kept watching her. She smiled…Not at him, yet he was the only one blessed to see her sparkle. The dimple, the curls in her hair that swayed slightly to make his naïve mind spin. He waited patiently. Perhaps patience was his only virtue. He could wait forever before he took another step towards her.
Before long, he found her besides him. It was the greatest achievement for a loser since the dawn of civilization. He stole a few glances at her taking her offguard. She was busy talking to the other male counterparts. Tony passed by him with a bottle of captain morgan. He made a gesture to pour him a shot. He complied shaking his head. He gulped without hesitation. He felt better. He looked at her again. She was hesitant about dancing in the mad crowd. Maybe he could ask her…his heart started to pound like galloping horse. He shook in fear. With all his might, he faced her and with the gentlest of touches brushed her shoulder. She faced him with a blank look. He got even more scared. He had to come out with something out of the ordinary. “AH AH! You are a friend of Antu’s rite?” He managed a weak assumption. “yah, she smiled. “Are you his friend? Why isn’t he here?.” He could barely hear her in that deafening music. “he had to work” I shouted. She seemed disappointed. “ You look very familiar” I tried to ease her. “What’s your name?” I finally triggered my emotions out. “Sonika!” …..
Half an hour passed by. The house was full. Beats were vibrant. Dances surpassed modern day pop culture. She was still besides him. He gestured tony to pour him another shot. This was it. he had waited this for eternity. He gulped it down again as if it were plain water and asked her without any hesitation, “would you like to dance?.” She looked at him in the most unusual wonder. “NO! I am fine” She answered back firmly.
The looser gained no more ground. He tried to act jolly. Goofed around, shouted around, and finally sunk in the chair with eyes closed, heart pierced and body in most abnormal trauma. He felt a gentle pat on his back. It was papi. He smiled. He was always good to him even though Stri was never close to him. “YO! Go dance with the gals. There are just too many of them” He nodded his head in embarrassment. “Are you okay?” even his soothing voice was beginning to irritate him. The loser suddenly raised his voice. “YO! CAN YOU DROP ME HOME? I DON”T FEEL SO WELL” Papi bought the story without any questions. He took his coat and rushed out trying not to look at anyone. Still, he caught her at the corner of his eyes, dancing warmly with someone…it didn’t matter who it was. She was dancing warmly.
His knees felt weak as papi dropped him wishing him to sleep well. How could the loser sleep? He hadn’t even finished two cans of budlight. His new angle had turned into a disaster. He had to talk to someone. Someone that would make him feel better.
Without his conscience, he dialed home in a maddening fashion. He wanted to talk to his aaama. He knew only her soothing voice could save him now. Unfortunately, his dad picked up the phone. “Buwa!” he squealed. Even though he didn’t want to know anything, he still asked all the everyday questions. He had few minutes left. “Babu, Sanchai cha? Dherai pachi phone garis ni” he had never imagined his buwa could be so tender. He had always perceived him as a stone hearted dad.
But that didn’t pacify him enough. He wanted to talk to AAMA. He remembered all the days of his childhood where she’d find him miserable and few gentle words would breathe a new life into him. Tears filled his eyes, and he managed to suppress them within. With a stern voice he asked for mom “Buwa! I only have few minutes. AAMA kata ho?” “EH! AAMA is in bathroom, taking a shower. Should I call her?” “NO! its okay. I will call later” I replied successfully. “EK MIN, She’s here” …The minutes finished. Stri found himself in a very different city tonite and it was not his own.
**sorry for the rambling**
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| Stri_Beed |
Posted
on 01-Mar-04 09:42 PM
Stri_Brood bro,
I would like to continue the story from here. Thanks! :) I have been surprised by the level of similarity between your loser and my loser.
-------------------
The loser finally did it. He gave up drinking. He survived one weekend without alcohol. That was quite an achievement!
There were several reasons for his quiting alcohol. And he was surprised to see so many people surprised when he told them he had quit drinking. "Why?" everybody would ask. He would simply smile and try to give a funny answer, "it has to do with health reasons." Nobody believed he was saying the truth. He was not. There was something happened the previous weekend--when he was under the weekend--that he did not want to share. But that incident was going to change his life. Unfortunately, it did not.
Here came the Sapanaki rani again. "She changes boy friends everyday," he had been told. He never believed this. He went to the party on Friday, saw her, but she did not see him, or he thought so. When he went to the party on Saturday, he saw her. And she saw him too. But it seemed like a different world. She simply smiled and went away. She then started dancing with some of her (girl)friends. The loser could not do anything. He could not approach her. He was not drunk. Alcohol was what gave him strength all along. With no alcohol, he was helpless. After his sapanaki rani had smiled and left, the loser stayed in a corner for about five minutes, borrowed a cigerrete(sp?) from a friend of his and headed towards his dorm. There was no hope of talking to her that day.
Going back to his room was a mistake. It must have been around 1 am when he reached his dorm. For another hour, he sat on his bed, thinking about her. He did not know what to do. Ever since he once invited her for a drink, he had fallen in love with her. This was not infatuation. He did not want to have sex with her. It was something else he wanted. He wanted to be with her, hear her talk. He wanted to see her face.
At two, party was over. He decided to call her and tell her everything. What was "everything", he did not know. He dialed her number anyway.
"Hey C, this is Stri. How was the party?"
"Hey"
"Listen, what are you doing?"
"I just came back from the party. I am going to bed soon."
"Do you mind if I stop for a few minutes?"
"No, but I am going to bed soon."
"Alright, I will see you in a minute."
"See you."
The loser felt some kind of a distance developing between him and his Sapanaki rani. She did not sound like the girl he had so much fallen in love with. She was drunk, but he could sense the strangeness in her voice. He decided to go to her room anyway.
"Nice room."
"Thanks. R chose it for me when I was abroad."
"How was the party?"
"It was good. Why didn't you come?"
"I was there for a minutes and then came back."
"Oh yeah I saw you there once."
Pause
"So, how is your seminar going?"
"It is ok. It is a lot of reading, but it's ok. How is yours? You have 5 credits right?"
"Yeah. I am enjoying the classes though."
Pause
"Anyway, you said you were going to bed soon. I wont keep you awake for long. I wanted to tell you something."
"What is that?"
"I have a feeling that you have been trying to avoid me."
"No I am not!"
"I just felt it that way."
"Oh I am sorry. I did not intend to do that. I have been a bit busy lately. I am really sorry."
"Yeah, I have been thinking a lot about you lately"
"I do that sometimes."
"And I just thought you deserved to know. You probably did not do this on purpose, but I felt really bad when you saw me this afternoon and pretended not to have seen."
"I did not even notice that. I am so sorry."
"It's ok." Pause. "Anyway, I am going to bed now, kind of exhausted from reading. Umm..I will see you around."
"Yeah. Good night."
"Can I ask you for a favor?"
"Sure."
"Can you keep this between me and you?"
"What?"
"The fact that I was here."
"Sure. Do not worry about it."
No sooner had she said sure, her phone rang. The loser did not want the person on the other side to hear his voice. So he just waived his hand to his rani and left.
(To be continued)
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| oys_chill |
Posted
on 01-Mar-04 11:17 PM
कथा, व्यथा त मेरो पनि त्यस्तै छ, साथी!!
क्यार्ने! बांच्नै पर्यो ! पढ्नै पर्यो ! बिदेशतिरको गाथा, सबैको उस्तैउस्तै छ!
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| khai |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 12:24 AM
Can someone continue/finish this story ?
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| dyamn |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 01:20 AM
.. sounds like a typical nepali student in the usa kind of story.. been there done that.however in my story there would have more financial suff than stri bro, i would be worried about 5 months unpaid credit card bills and court judgement than be worrying about a girl.. wish i could worry about a girl and not about my 5 wives i had back then; my wives provided by city bank and First premier, the real blood sucking bitches...
hang in there bro , hangin in there...
dyamn bahadur..
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| AndyNZ |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 06:20 AM
Stri_Beed, No one is looser on their own. It is us who make it. So help yourself out. Anyway seems it is not complete yet. Put on more.
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