| Username |
Post |
| nescient |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 01:13 PM
Dear mother and father,
As I write this death is knocking at my door....Just few steps away.Am holding my breath to say my last goodbye.Please try and understand the pain was killing me inside.Like thousands knifes stabbing my heart,I felt every second of my life.I couldn't go any longer without being torn apart everyday.Maybe it was wrong,maybe it was right,I shall find the answer now.I know you must be in so much pain at the moment.I know you must be so mad at yourself for not being able to give me happiness.But my dear,let you tell you....I was lucky to have you.There is noone in the world who can be such a saint as you.There isn't a single thing in the world you haven't given me till now.It is rather stupid what I did and am doing but you have to understand that after the pain I was mentally lame.I could no longer hold my sanity and the pressure of everyday survival was more and more pushing me over the edge.I couldn't face the world without anyone by my side.Don't think I never tried,I did but more and more I failed.I wanted to hold on to something and not let go of my life but I was forced to,due to the circumstances.But there is no one to be blamed for what I did.Just remember I will always love you and always be your little girl.I am sorry for giving you this pain and all the pain that I have been giving you from the time of my birth.Everything is a blurr and before I leave and become ashes to ashes dust to dust there is one thing I want you to do for me,With all my belongings have a tombstone so that you can come to me when you feel I am not around.And on the tombstone I want you to write:"There was once a little girl who loved to live.Wanted so much for her parents to give,make them proud but the cruelity of the world snatched her away,eventhough she fought her best to hold on to her life,and committed suicide.But she will always be around to catch her loved ones before they fall."
In the loving memory:
Diahskur A. (1982-1999)
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| TilKumari_Ko_Poi |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 01:31 PM
Pyari chori "Nescient "
Ma timro sakkhai bau TKP ko dherai dherai maya tatha samjhana ka lahar haru .Timi Amrika gayeki pani aja haddi saddi milayera thyammai 2 barsha huna lagyo .
Patra lekhnu parne kunai khaash kuro ta thiyena ....tara timro samjhana ley nikkai satayeko hunaley yo patra lekhne jamarko gareko chu .Padhai kasto chali ra cha ta maiyya ? college ko professor lai kattiko haatma liyeki cheu ta ? Uhaan ley je bhane pani mannu hai natra exam ma fail garaidela ;)
"Nescient chori timi tyeti jera 1 barseki thiyeu ....kasti cute thiyeu .I still remember how you used to amuse me with your totey boli .We both used to play for hours and hours amusing each other at the same time me enjoying Nescafe Coffee and you Nescient chori enjoying Nestle bottled milk .
aja lai yettinai aru pheri la maiyya
'Thank you for your kind attention re kya ...:0) '
In jest .........
Your loving Dad TKP
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| nescient |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 01:34 PM
My dear Father,
It was really nice of you to write to me after such a long time.But don't you think it's too late now as I have died?
Your Nes.
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| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 01:35 PM
"There was once a little girl who loved to live.Wanted so much for her parents to give,make them proud but the cruelity of the world snatched her away,eventhough she fought her best to hold on to her life,and committed suicide.But she will always be around to catch her loved ones before they fall."
BeautifuL!!... :(...!
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| nescient |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 01:36 PM
Thank you!
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| TilKumari_Ko_Poi |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 01:47 PM
Pyari putri 'nescient '
if you are dead then how come you are replying my letter re kya ..
uhi bau TKP
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| nescient |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 02:06 PM
This is auto respond!
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| *****er |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 02:47 PM
I bet you some people are searching the internet for phrases that match those in your letter ;)
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| nescient |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 03:05 PM
hehehe **** er i am sure they are.And I am sure they will come up with many sites that have these lines.It's very common.But hey!i don't care :D I wrote this when I was going through one of my "suicidal phase" :)
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| NappyROOTS |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 04:04 PM
Anyway NES..please dont contemplate suicide anymore.
BTW you were born in 82? that makes both of us 82 babies..
lol
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 04:52 PM
Nescient, I really hope that you were not seriously contemplating suicide. If you were, are your parents aware of your suicidal tendencies?
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 04:59 PM
NES.... i run a non-profitable trust.. to help poor kids and their education
so if u have any of ur belongings.. please feel free to help us before you commit any suicide
for further information
please call
1-800-young-bloodz
any help from you, would be appreciated
yb inc.
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| hyaterica |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 05:10 PM
Sitara, did you miss ';)' ?
and oh yeah.. ;) !!
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| Epiphany |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 05:57 PM
NES!!!
This is one of the pieces that I found very touching .... This piece was chosen by an old couple... they wanted it to be read in their funerals. The old man died recently and it was read by one of their close friends.
DEATH
Death is nothing at all.... I have only slipped away into the next room... I am I and You are You... Whatever we were to each other that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effect, without the ghost of shadow in it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was, there is absolutely unbroken contiunity. What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am just waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around teh corner.... All is well.
I once again repeat... Death is nothing at all.... and the line 'Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight.... '.. 'Life means all that it ever meant.....What is death but a negligible accident?'
Epi
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| SimpleGal |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 06:46 PM
Nescient, I agree with Sitara's concern....frankly, i've noticed your rather somber, although beautiful, writings on sajha. I hope all is well with you! Of course, we all have our tastes so who am I to judge, right? But just checking... :)
Good to have you around in sajha!
Best wishes!
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| nescient |
Posted
on 05-Apr-04 06:49 PM
Thanks a lot for the concern.And yes IF i die I will make sure that I mail you all the belongings Bloodz:) And for me writing is just a way to let it out instead of rather doing it.Suicidal thoughts come and go,just like many other thoughts,but one can't do everything that comes in his/her mind now can he?
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