| Biruwa |
Posted
on 08-Apr-04 01:17 PM
The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody!!!
Friends at a Bar
Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.
The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know....Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist".
The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know....Double Income, No Kids."
The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know...Rich, Urban, Biker."
They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?"
She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know....Wash, Iron, F.uck, Etc."
A second gal answers their question before they even ask it: "B.I.T.C.H."
"So, just exactly what is a BI.T.C.H??????????" they ask in union.
B- BABE
I- IN
T- TOTAL
C- CONTROL of
H- HERSELF
So ladies, next time somebody calls you "Bittch"...SMILE..and say Thank You!!
Big John
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back. The driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer.
He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong, what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!", the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?" With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a Bus pass."
Sardar at Sea
Once a cruise ship carrying people from all the nations was going on an around the world' tour when it got grounded. The ship became slow and finally came to a grinding halt. Captain of the ship called an emergency meeting and told the passengers, "Friends, we are in trouble because of God's being angry with us. We need to give sacrifice and I need three people to sacrifice their life so that rest of us can be saved." All of them moved towards the Deck where a Japanese came forward and shouted "Long live Japan" and jumped into the sea.
Then an Israeli Jew stepped forward, said "Hallelujah" and dived into the sea. After that no one came forward for few seconds while people stared at each other and suddenly out of nowhere a Sardar came forward near the railing and chanted, "Jo bole-so-nihal, sat sri akaal, wahe guruji da khalsa, wahe guruji di fateh, Jai maa Kali, Jai maa Durga, Jai Hanuman, jai Sri Ram, Jai siva-sankar, Jai baba nanak di, Jai jawan jai kissan".... and finally yelled at the top of his voice, "Bharat mata ki jai", and Kicked the Pakistani standing next to him in the sea!!!
c&p ho hai! disclaimer di halun
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