| Username |
Post |
| yashna |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 12:06 PM
One thing really kept me thinking. The Nepali girls who are here find it hard to find a Nepali groom after they finished thier degree.Why?I have seen many single didis who are 27-30 who are here in USA and are single.Their parents want to get them married ....but the question is ko kta sanga?They don't seem to find ambitious guys .
I am just 21 right now.After i graduate am i gonna be like one of these didis who have great job but live iin lonely apartments whose life revolves around thier jobs?.am i ready to pay this price?what is important to me?career or family?I came here for education .....but after i get my eduation then what?getting married is not on my top priority list right now but i definitely don't wanna be a spinster.
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| lizardking |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 12:17 PM
Yashna, your didi's must be so choosy in finding a groom ;) May be they remained left out choosing between green card/green dollar and love in life, and giving priority to the first;) Just a thought.
Lizard King
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| wish_list |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 12:50 PM
yashna! i dont think finding a groom would be a big problem.... limit ur expectations! that will help u i should say !
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| That's me |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 12:55 PM
i am 101% agreed with Yashna.And i am still wondering that what makes them so choosy to find a right guy in USA.There r a lots and lots of guy looking for a gal.
Good luck everybody.
TY
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| EdHunter |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 12:58 PM
i'm always available, plus young and ambitious.. but ain't in the states.. :P
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| hyaterica |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 12:58 PM
can u name some of those didi's who are sajhaites? ;)
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| Jay |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 12:58 PM
Yashna, btw, where are you didis? Is is possible to have their contact information? :-)
On serious note, I don't think it's because of the lack of Nepali ketas. If you look into guy/girls ratio it is almost like 10 is to 2. There are many ambitious Nepali guys out there. On the contrary nepali girls here have more choices. I don't blame girls who look for security. They should. Love is important yet at the same time education, job and status of person are important factors too when it comes to choosing a spouse. But the expectation got to be reasonable.I don't think it's the expectation alone either. One's conditioning has bearing on the matter like this one. The issue you raised is too complicated.
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| acharya |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 01:20 PM
Seriously, I thought I was one of the few males that was going to go through similar experiences after I graduate. But I am glad, it's not only me and it also happens to some nepalese girls living in USA.
Yashna, email me and we can talk about this.
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| confused |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 02:59 PM
haah acharya.>>> ke hudai cha bro yeta :P
yashna i completly understand u if u email me baru ..we can not only talk abt it but also end this situation :P
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| honeybuzz |
Posted
on 18-Apr-04 10:40 PM
YASHNA
I am so sad cuz i only wanna get married when i am 35.After marrige life the end for us(nepali grls).
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| hyaterica |
Posted
on 19-Apr-04 01:39 AM
Very True.
>> How true is this?
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| LadyBug |
Posted
on 19-Apr-04 08:30 AM
hehehe.......interesting question.
Although it's not true for all nepali women in US ,yashna, i can tell you that.
you probably saw a few here and think it's the majority......and agree with lizardking.
when comes to dollar and love in life, it's simple - choose love mah dear.
honeybuzz, didn't know you have a vow until 35 too. why so dear? married life is fun, come on!
from personal experience, it's such a beautiful committment and you grow so much as a person, walking together with someone else (hopefully your best friend) towards a common life. :) go for it!
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| honeybuzz |
Posted
on 19-Apr-04 09:26 AM
Try Mediation
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| yOuNgBlOoDz |
Posted
on 19-Apr-04 09:37 AM
how true is this ....
how high the expectations??
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| yashna |
Posted
on 19-Apr-04 03:25 PM
Why is everyone talking about high expectations? I don't think it is wise to lower your expectation just for the sake of getting married. It is not the matter of dollar bills and love. It is the matter of giving up your hardwork and your own expectations just to fit into a conservative Nepali society. There might be tons of ambitious Nepali guys here but most of them have this typical Nepal kta ko attitude"kt bhaayera yeso garnu hunna.... teso garnu hunna". Helloooooooooo.... u came here for education so did I. Make your own identity and let me have my own.
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| Jay |
Posted
on 19-Apr-04 04:26 PM
Given the high number of bachelor/ bachelorette crowd freqenting this site, I am little dismayed to find this thread has not gotton so much attention.hmm....may be there were already so much discussion took place regarding this topic, it has become a stale delight.
I hear this complain from both male and female. Like I said before this is complex issue and nobody could offer comprehensive answer to the issue raised here. Nonetheless I cannot just stand here and do nothing about it. At least we should attempt to remedy this plight with suggestions, discussion and dialogue. Right?
Reading the postings, I came to the following conclusion:
To be appealing to Nepali girls, Nepali girls said guys need to :
Be ambitious
Be educated
Shade off chauvinistic 'nepali attitude'
Similarly guys say:
Girls got too much expectation
Girls give more priority to greencard and money
So guys and girls pour your views so that better understanding can be fostered among our Nepali girls and guys. What you all say?
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| lll_lll |
Posted
on 19-Apr-04 04:27 PM
Maybe being here in the states has changed the way they think about marriage.
" Marriage is the an institution between a male and a female", as U.S. government defines. Maybe your sisters think it the same way. And maybe your sisters have forgotten to compromise even a little after their great successes. Ambitious males aren't abudant, but they are not scarce too.
I think the biggest mistake they made was to not make a boyfriend when they were back home. ;-).
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| dangggg |
Posted
on 19-Apr-04 04:31 PM
no comment
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| ProudNepali |
Posted
on 21-Apr-04 10:31 PM
This is United States............
And see.... so many people spend an independent life. Those who are married are also so likely to get divorced. Maybe more than once in their lives. Single moms and single dads. Damn.. they got no family here. Not all but plenty of people live alone. So.... maybe your didi and our CHELEBETis.. haha.. choose not to marry..... (did I get it wrong??)
And to be honest Maybe.... The Nep-girls comapre their Male counterparts against the Whites-AfricanAmericans-Latinos or any other people in this country. IF so... obviously we Nep-males are in a great disadvantage. NO BIG$$ (even though not all the people have Big $$), no G.C. or Citizenship. and most of the time NO Proper-education. And oh yeah--- even the PHysiques... Most of us don't have six pacs and aren't that tall either. A perfect example would be me. Yet, I do not have a low self-esteem. Haha.... so it's understandable that NEpalese girls ...aren't so attracted towards Nepalese guys.. So,, not their fault.
But hey.. you know what... most of the Nep-guys will also think in similar fashion. As marriage is no joke. One has to get the right partner... if not the best one in the world out there. It is a sad thing that Nep-girls and guys are not marrying each other..as they do back In Nepal. Yet, None can deny the fact. IT's USA and we are in 21st century...
Jai Nepal
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| ProudNepali |
Posted
on 21-Apr-04 10:35 PM
oops.. please read the first statement as.............."................. independent lives.."
and "comapre" as "COMpaRE"..
DHANYABAad
Jai Nepal
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| sense |
Posted
on 22-Apr-04 11:55 AM
wait wait wait..I have a say, I am in europe for 9 months till seven months I would say my life was like a heck..no frens specially if u dont know their language..so I had to had foreign frens....now I know a little bit of language n met mre open minded people I have definitely found a difference betwn the mentality.
The prob with us who r studying or leaving abroad is we want what we like it to be n not what it is..so it is quite obvious we begin comparing n there the problem starts...nevermind..nepalese girls/guys r not going to find a partner unless they reach up to the mentality of khaires n I am damn sure its really hard to acheive that level unless u were born n brought up there. It may be quite easy for guys just becoz of our male oriented mentality in our society but to girls they need security n this is where khaires lack they trust no one n they cant be trusted either unless u r damn sure abt it ..its ofcourse not their fault but thats the way it is.
So my suggestion to yashma (assuming she was brought up in nepal)is nepaleese guys posses both ambition n love ..its the duty of the girl to nourish both of them for a perfect relationship....not to say that choosing a partner to live the whole life takes time but the patience n getting to know someone closer is worth it.
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| scatterbrain |
Posted
on 22-Apr-04 01:47 PM
Maybe in one's enculturation to a different value system, one tends to believe that nobody else (especially other Nepalese of similar background) could possibly have adapted as successfully as that person has. This belief gets solidified when one does not find the same mix of nationality and ethnicity in the "circle" of others as they can, in theirs. Now factor in the Nepalese stereotyping of gender roles that somehow has crept into your subconscious (no matter how much you deny it), then you would start finding appeal in things that are different from what you are used to. This attitude systematically denies the worth of any other Nepalese as your potential partner, date, or spouse.
However, if you can accept the fact that other Nepalese are also capable of developing to similar extents that you have, maybe along different paths, and your subconscious is free of scorn resulting from cultural rubber stamping, then you could find happiness in the company of any, be it Nepalese or otherwise, without any disdain for a particular type.
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| dangggg |
Posted
on 22-Apr-04 04:38 PM
For all of the above reasons I said no comment to Yashna's question.
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| dangggg |
Posted
on 22-Apr-04 04:43 PM
Honeybuzz! just a friendly reminder.. tic-tock..tic-tock...tic-tock....
can you hear that sound???? .....j/k
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| yashna |
Posted
on 22-Apr-04 06:20 PM
hey guys,
thanks for all your comments.i enjoyed reading them......it is interesting to know how ppl see things.
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