| Username |
Post |
| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 12:59 AM
My world is never going to be the same now
Father,I was chose to be with
Your voice was heaven to my ears
Like a baby I slept
When I woke frantic,with the terrors of the night
Like a strong mountain you stood
You were my understanding heart
My hero,my superman.
I loved you so.
Teacher,friend,model, and my conscience
You were who I wanted to be.
The word DIVORCE, pierce my heart like an arrow
Heart,I hear it breaking... just like their marriage
My memories,if only i could earse
Sounds,please stop slamming doors
Voices,no more aruging no more shouting
But I didn't say a word
Like avalanche,my world falling down
I am happy for you
With stepmom I see you with
Halfbrother of mine you dearly hug
A little space I wanted in your heart
Betrayed is what I got
Listened to your new love of your life
Threw me away like an old rag you did
Everyday dam within me brust
No more I am your son
You and stepmom made me realize
'I trusted
I believed
Didn't realize he would change so much
That when he remarried his outlook would change
My dad died 4 years ago
I thought he'd come back
I was wrong
It was just a ghost'
Father I once knew
Now I see a stranger standing by
My father has now became my stepmother's husband....
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| babaal |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:06 AM
I ♥ your poem.
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:07 AM
Why do fathers become strangers after they remarry?
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| babaal |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:11 AM
To make you realize that it's about time you need to find someone for yourself.
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:17 AM
another father?
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| babaal |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:19 AM
No. Just your male counterpart.
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:23 AM
and how is that going to heal the pain?
one can't replace mother or father in life,atleast that's what i thought
but according to you they can be replaced by one's counterpart
Surprise!
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| babaal |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:31 AM
What will not heal the pain is continuing to believe that a father is not replaceable. At least the counterpart can mitigate the pain.
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:44 AM
So father is replaceable?
Counterpart might able to make one forget the pain for the time being but no one can heal the pain of losing one's parent.The pain is always going to be there,like a deep scar n one's body.Or missing part of one's body part(it can be replaced but it is never going to feel yours completely....fake,is what one would feel)
Few things in life can't be replaced by anything/anybody.
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| CatchMeIfYouCan |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:47 AM
nescient,
fathers don't become strangers... they keep distance because they don't have the courage to face you so frequently. seeing you he will be forced to question himself many times. and nobody wants to see his own guilty self and failures.
many times parents fail to be good parents.
so keep heart... keep the good memories.
catch
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| babaal |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:55 AM
I yield.
The question still is: Is this realization going to help you overcome the pain ?
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| babaal |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:57 AM
You've said it all.
>>Seeing you he will be forced to question himself many times. and nobody wants to see his own guilty self and failures.
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| babaal |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 02:07 AM
>>Seeing you he will be forced to question himself many times. and nobody wants to see his own guilty self and failures.
And such is the portrayal for this non entity of yours.
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| monika |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 04:20 AM
first of all hats off to u for creating such a wonderful composition....great job indeed. And secondly ,i dont think so fathers become strangers after they remarry....its your own insecurity that is making you think like this.Insecurity of losing your father to another woman(step mom) ...................CHEER UP ..life is too short .Dont take life so seriously you wont get out of it ....ALIVE !!!!
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 05:56 AM
And life still goes on, for every one has a right to live the way he/she desires to... even parents!
Well expressed Nescient!
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| CatchMeIfYouCan |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 06:08 AM
babaal and nescient,
there is nothing you can do about the pain or escape it.
let the pain grow as much as it will and when it reaches a point it can’t grow anymore you will feel it receding. then you will feel a sense of relief. you will have conquered your pain.
this is the only suggestion i can give you.
don’t let the pain eat you… rather let it fade away in time.
catch
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| chubby_cheeks |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 06:51 AM
awwwww...it's sooo sad!!!i almost cried!!i'ma show it to my dad...this poem is niceeee
~`CC`~
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| u_day |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 07:28 AM
Nescient!
Superb poem.Brought tears to my eyes.... I can realize how you close you were with your father and how you felt when he left you (or uyou felt being left). As monika mentioned above:
>> Your father didn't become stranger after he remarried....its your own insecurity that is making you think like this.Insecurity of losing your father to another woman(step mom) ...................
That's oedipus complex and it's time to get out of it. Every child feel insecured when his/her parent leaves and remarries but that should, and always does, deminishes as the child grows older.
As babaal said, you should be able to substitute that fatherly love from male counterpart. Yep. substitution, not a replacement. Fatherly love can never be replaced but it can be substituted. A male counterpart (bf/husband.....) can help you forget the pain for time being which can last a lifetime. Isn't that what we all want? temporary solution with lifetime warranty.
BTW Meaning of Odipus Complex : the positive libidinal feelings of a child toward the parent of the opposite sex and hostile or jealous feelings toward the parent of the same sex that may be a source of adult personality disorder when unresolved. Child grows out of this complex as time passes and it becomes an adult. -- Merriam Webster
One last thing, nescient! The line: "My hero,my superman. " is similar to a line from Eminem's song Superman. You might want to quote Eminem on that. I don't want a great poet like you to be caught by SAJHACOP... wink wink;)
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 08:20 AM
Maybe no one has gone through this so I am getting all this reaction?
"seeing you he will be forced to question himself many times. and nobody wants to see his own guilty self and failures"
Guilty self,failtures,question himself many times?Oh well,maybe you are right and maybe that's why not given enough food to eat,or money to go to school,making do all household chores,physical abuse,and the list goes on....mean?He is guilty.
"its your own insecurity that is making you think like this"
Excuse me for my own insercurity?Am I suppose to think he is still a great father after being kicked outta the house?Ah!but why yes it is my "Insecurity of losing your father to another woman(step mom)" that is making me feel this way.
"life still goes on, for every one has a right to live the way he/she desires to... even parents"
Don't remember mentioning anything about life not going on?Or he not having the right to live his life the way he desiers?"I am happy for you,With stepmom I see you with"
Unless one is in the other person shoes,one would never know how it feels.
Uday:no comment (btw 'no comment' is a comment by itself)
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| dyamn |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 08:21 AM
ya sitara you're right, everyone has a right to live the way he /she desires to , but that doesn't mean a person should forget his duties and responsibilities if a person has impact on another person's life ; like thier child...
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 09:01 AM
the wound,the pain might fade away but the scar is going to be there forever as a reminder....reminder that someone you trusted betrayed you so badly....and to never ever trust anyone!
malecounterpart is the substitution for father IF i am female,but what is the substitution if i am a guy?I should become gay?Odipus Complex doesn't work then,does it?
temporary solution is temporary.
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| maaya |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 09:31 AM
nescient,
Maybe all the things that you are experiencing is going to make you a better parent than your father.
Maaya
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 10:25 AM
.
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| Arnico |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 10:58 AM
Nescient.
I have been asked by a dear friend of mine to post on his behalf (he does not wish to have his identity revealed here for obvious reasons).
He has asked me to convey that he is greatly annoyed by the poem that started this thread. He does not mind that a personal conversation between him and you inspired you to write a poem, BUT directly quoting in your poem consecutive lines out of an msn conversation that occured with trust in confidentiality is NOT right ... especially since he conveyed those lines to you as sharing his own "short poem" in the first place.
Yes, you did write to him after the fact, alerting that you had quoted him in your sajha posting... BUT that is not sufficient. You should have e-mailed him earlier asking for his permission to make his lines public, and in this case, despite the sense of friendship to you, the reply would have definitely been "no, do not use those lines". Some things are too personal and too painful to donate to others for use in art, no matter how good the artwork might end up being!
You are an excellent poet and you have a talent for taking other people's suffering, building upon it, and turning it into beautiful art. Please keep up the good work. But please don't blemish it with stepping on people's feelings and with using lines that are not your own, no matter how inspiring those lines might sound. And also please don't keep replying to posts pretending that the story in your poem is your own life.
My friend said he is willing to forgive a one-time mistake and hopes that you learn from it, but he expects an e-mail from you.
Arnico
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| rohini_a |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 11:24 AM
Thanks a lot Arniko for exposing nescient for the plagiarist s/he is.
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 11:32 AM
Arnico: Yes I totally agree that I should have asked for him before quoting his lines instead of just emailing after posting it.And I am deeply sorry for my action.
And yes half of it is from my life too and no I am not pretending it to be my life cause it is.To make long thing short,I wrote this for my father(keeping my friend in the mind too).My father has a stepmom and he was treated really badly.And still now,things are not going too well between them.Besides the line I quoted,rest is about my father.As I had not mentioned his name,I thought it was okay as no one would know besides few ppl (including him and me).
But yes I do realize the mistake that I have made.I should have never quoted his lines.I do hope he forgives me.
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 11:34 AM
rohini: i did not plagarise anything....if you look carefully I have quoted the lines that i did not write.And he is just talking about those lines Rohini,not the whole poem.
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| GurL_Interrupted |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 11:43 AM
well expressed poem!
CaTcHmEiFyOuCaN, u have some neat advices up there!
"The wound,the pain might fade away but the scar is going to be there forever as a reminder." Yup, it's always going to be there, but you have a choice as to how you are going to use it...to build urself up?...to make urself BIGGER, Brighter & Greater than the life itself & all ur scars OR to break urself down! Whatever u decide, Good Luck!
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| Arnico |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 11:57 AM
I just got off the phone. My friend asked me to post once more. Nescient, he has accepted your apology. He would like to apologize for not writing directly. His initial problem with the posting was not about plagiarism but just about hurt feelings and the sense of loss of trust. That appears to have now been cleared up.
I will step away from the debate now and return to my lab work. Please let me not distract from a good thread about adjusting to changes in a family...
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 12:11 PM
Second time I have been accused of plagarisim.First time for not quoting a line.But someone did manage to point that out to me.However,the same person or anyone did not point out when "apple to my eye" or "beauty lies in the eye of the beholder" was used.I suppose it's okay for others not to quote it.
This time,I did quote the line but didn't think about asking the person before.And no I won't say i plagarized it.
Arnico: He is a good friend of mine and I do not want to lose him as a friend.If only I could turn back the time and take those 7 lines away...I would.But you know what they say, once "bandook ko goli" is out .... there is no way to turn it around.
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| cool_keta |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 01:56 PM
I think I saw this poem in TIME magazine.
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| nescient |
Posted
on 27-Apr-04 02:13 PM
Cool_Keta: Humor me!
I think it was NY Times.
People don't appreciate good things,do they now?
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