| Romanticated |
Posted
on 26-Jun-04 05:53 PM
This might be old and could be boring, but hope you, math lovers, refresh your mind.
HOW TO PUT AN ELEPHANT INTO A REFRIGERATOR:
Analysis:
1) Differentiate it and put into the refrig.
Then integrate it in the refrig.
2) Redefine the measure on the referigerator (or the elephant).
3) Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem.
Number theory:
1) First factorize, second multiply.
2) Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in.
Algebra:
1) Step 1. Show that the parts of it can be put into the refrig.
Step 2. Show that the refrig. is closed under the addition.
2) Take the appropriate universal refrigerator and get
a surjection from refrigerator to elephant.
Topology:
1) Have it swallow the refrig. and turn inside out.
2) Make a refrig. with the Klein bottle.
3) The elephant is homeomorphic to a smaller elephant.
4) The elephant is compact, so it can be put into a finite collection
of refrigerators. That's usually good enough.
5) The property of being inside the referigerator
is hereditary. So, take the elephant's mother,
cremate it, and show that the ashes fit inside the refrigerator.
6) For those who object to method 3 because it's cruel to animals.
Put the elephant's BABY in the refrigerator.
Algebraic topology:
Replace the interior of the refrigerator by its
universal cover, R^3.
Linear algebra:
1) Put just its basis and span it in the refrig.
2) Show that 1% of the elephant will fit inside the refrigerator.
By linearity, x% will fit for any x.
Affine geometry:
There is an affine transformation putting the
elephant into the refrigerator.
Set theory:
1) It's very easy!
refrigerator = { elephant } 2) The elephant and the interior of the
refrigerator both have cardinality c.
Geometry:
Declare the following:
Axiom 1. An elephant can be put into a refrigerator.
Complex analysis:
Put the refrig. at the origin
and the elephant outside the unit circle.
Then get the image under the inversion.
Numerical analysis:
1) Put just its trunk and refer the rest to the error term.
2) Work it out using the Pentium.
Statistics:
1) bright statistician.
Put its tail as a sample and say "Done."
2) dull statistician.
Repeat the experiment pushing the elephant to the refrig.
3) Our NEW study shows that you CAN'T put the elephant
in the refrigerator.
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| Romanticated |
Posted
on 26-Jun-04 05:54 PM
Another one!!
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"
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| Romanticated |
Posted
on 26-Jun-04 05:55 PM
Another One. This is for you, programmers.
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Several scientists were asked to prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime.
Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.
Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime. Just to be sure, try several randomly chosen numbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime...
Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an approximation to a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Programmer (reading the output on the screen): 3 is a prime, 3 is a prime, 3 a is prime, 3 is a prime....
Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- results have not arrived yet,...
Psychologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime but tries to suppress it,...
Chemist (or Dan Quayle): What's a prime?
Politician: "Some numbers are prime.. but the goal is to create a kinder, gentler society where all numbers are prime... "
Programmer: "Wait a minute, I think I have an algorithm from Knuth on finding prime numbers... just a little bit longer, I've found the last bug... no, that's not it... ya know, I think there may be a compiler bug here - oh, did you want IEEE-998.0334 rounding or not? - was that in the spec? - hold on, I've almost got it - I was up all night working on this program, ya know... now if management would just get me that new workstation tha just came out, I'd be done by now... etc., etc. ..."
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