| Love |
Posted
on 30-Aug-01 05:18 PM
The Seven Degrees of Blondeness
ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
moment and said,
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know;
some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear.'"
TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in
the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The
second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"
THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and
when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she
is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her
head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde
replies,
"Shut up, you're next!"
FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend
says,
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh,
that's easy: W."
FIVE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
SIX
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage
without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the
state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped.
"Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an
elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine," the
blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he
surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!"
the blonde began.
"I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this
TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and
there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to
the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there
was ...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree
on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging
back and forth."
SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call
on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first
to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog
on a
leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop
and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her
hands,
she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"
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