| Username |
Post |
| sunakhari |
Posted
on 16-Jan-02 11:32 AM
JDV pointed out something that I've been doing quite a lot as well ---
after everything I write, I write a disclaimer and have come to this silly conclusion about them. If you disagree, thats fine but I wanted to know what you all think of it:
When I write something, it is purely my thought and idea and is NOT AT ALL meant to hurt nor make fun of somebody (UNLESS of course, the person is saying something mean to me then I write his/her name/nick) so why is that whenever we write something here now, we feel that the next person who comes along and reads it would be offended? Is it personal or is it social paranoia? By that I mean, are we culturally a paranoid society as most of us have not had a lot of exposure to comfortable things in life nor an easy life and therefore tend to be more cynical towards life itself? OR is it that we, as a race, have been exposed to so many things in our history that we tend to NOT look at things, at first glance, that naively?
For example, security in an Indian airport is so much tighter and those custom people horrible! So horrible and obnoxious that I would think TWICE before I even carry cash, let alone a knife. Whereas, Sept. 11 was a big eye-opener for most Americans AND immigrants about the naive ways of the west (or superior mentality - take it as you will).
Are we that pessimistic-thinking, persecuted-feeling people that we tend to take everything as a personal attack?
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| joie de vivre |
Posted
on 16-Jan-02 11:46 AM
Let me take the cue from Sunakhari and let everyone know that if I say something that you take offense to, I most probably meant it to offend you :)
I like sarcasm, cynicism and yes, disagreeing with one another and voicing your opinion. If you don’t understand the humor behind it or appreciate that there’s a lot to be learned and gained from dissenting voices and differing opinions, I say it’s your loss and your problem. Deal with it. Don’t be taking everything so darned personally and assume the whole world and his wife is against you. They’re not. Or maybe you ought to see a shrink to confirm that for you….
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| NK |
Posted
on 16-Jan-02 11:53 AM
Hear hear. from now on, i am going to forgo my Disclaimers. if your don't get the joke then as jdv and sunakhari says, "tough, that's your loss, buddy!" go complain to your partner; don't whine and go bonker in this board.
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| ashu |
Posted
on 16-Jan-02 12:21 PM
A few weeks ago, I appreciated NK's agreeing (from her posting in the literature thread) with that radio interview in which I basically said:
a) You can strongly disagree with someone's ideas and thoughts, and give
reasons as to why you disagree with them.
b) Just because you happen to strongly disagree with someone that doesn't
mean that the person you have disagreed is a khattam, jhoor people.
In other words, putting (a) and (b) together, it's entrely possible to separate issues from personalities, and an ability to do that, I would think, is a hallmark of
a cultivated mind.
In Nepal and among Nepalis, this whole thing seems to be a radical, heretic idea.
I mean, the prevailing logic here goes something like this: If you are my friend, then you are with me 100 per cent of the time, and if you disagree with me
even once or goof up in some way, then our friendship is over.
As I have often said here, unfortunately, most of us Nepalis think in terms of purely black and purely white and NOT, alas, in terms of shades of grey. And I have seen many instances of good friendships gone to utter waste just because one or the other party confused criticisms of ideas with criticisms of
personalities . . . Hell hath no fury than a Nepali with his or her ego
bruised!!
[When I, for instance, criticized C K Lal's writings here a few days ago, I also, having known CK Lal quite well -- in fact, I had lunch with him just last week --,
TRUSTED him not to take my criticisms in a major, negative way. I was basically banking on my years of trust, friendship and guff-suff with C K Lal to come
into play here to make me confident enough to talk about his writings here in public in ways that were/are not flattering to him. Now, I would NOT have done that had I no trusted CK Lal to take my criticsms in good strides.]
I think on some level it requires a lot of guts and courage and even trust to PUBLICLY disagree with somebody and still be able to treat that person as a good (enough) friend.
Hopefully, OPEN and VARIED discussions here on sajha.com will continue to give us all more opportunities to separate issues from personalities - and help us continue learning from one another regardess of whether we agree with one another on all or some of the issues.
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
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