| ms |
Posted
on 09-Jan-01 04:49 PM
MEN & WOMEN COMPARED
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and
John go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat
Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in
$20,
even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything
smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the
girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a
$2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average
number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be
able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that
is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage,answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up
forweddings, funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate uring the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and
secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house.
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