| Username |
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| Catz |
Posted
on 01-Apr-02 11:24 PM
Why usually successful and beautiful Women Keep picking the Wrong Men?
1. You can be beautiful and successful and be attracted to losers, because inside you don't think you're worthy of being treated with respect.
2. Some beautiful women are geek magnets. Nice men are intimidated by them, so the only men they meet are those with big egos who aren't very caring.
3.Being beautiful can be a double-edged sword. In business, people can think you slept your way to the top, and in your personal life, you can be very lonely.
4.Good men are afraid to ask you out, so you end up with men who mistreat you.
5. Sometimes, women go for bad boys because they like a fixer-upper. You can convince yourself there's a nice guy in there, that you're the only one who could unearth the diamond in the roughneck.
Seems like it's so hard to find a Good Man these days, even if you are a fetching, famous Successful women....or is it a pattern that women think she doesn't deserve better ????/
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| body hammer |
Posted
on 02-Apr-02 04:04 PM
1. You can be beautiful and successful and be attracted to losers, because inside you don't think you're worthy of being treated with respect.
Has she considered that "Whiners" are a big turn off. She is beautiful and successful yet riddled with so many contradictions. So in a way beauty and success is just a way for her to divert our attention from her inadequacy and patheticness. So do you blame us that we sense what is to come in the future (the sullenness, 24-7 PMS) and avert the pain beforehand?
2. Some beautiful women are geek magnets. Nice men are intimidated by them, so the only men they meet are those with big egos who aren't very caring.
To begin with I don't think geekiness equates with big egos and not caring (which is a way of restating Alpha Dog qualifications). We like all beautiful women. But this one seems to come with a chip on her shoulder. If you drive a hard bargain, you get a raw deal, that's the name of the game baby.
3.Being beautiful can be a double-edged sword. In business, people can think you slept your way to the top, and in your personal life, you can be very lonely.
If she was so smart and successful, why is it so that she is so afraid of paranoic perceptions? Fight the presumption. Be a woman not a cause that's out to get me.
4.Good men are afraid to ask you out, so you end up with men who mistreat you.
Is she successful because she is a super bitch? Or so manipulative that being her with is like being in a bad bad puppet show. Simple economics dear, despite the rewards of showing her off, (she sounds more like a trophy by the terms you describe her than a companion) the potential headache is way too big. You know we want it...therefore why else the fear?
5. Sometimes, women go for bad boys because they like a fixer-upper. You can convince yourself there's a nice guy in there, that you're the only one who could unearth the diamond in the roughneck.
Very original attempt to compensate for the stupidity of one night stands and for the Doofuses that she thought she could manipulate and shape into her image but alas remained doofuses. Sorry but no sell. The pains of being afloat a hot air head is what seems to afflict this chika.
Seems like it's so hard to find a Good Man these days, even if you are a fetching, famous Successful women....or is it a pattern that women think she doesn't deserve better ????/
Well yes this is what all the cinderalla stories are made up of. "Mirror mirror on the wall who is the most beautiful of them all" The Mirror then replies like always without a hitch "you are of course you conceited bitch"
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 02-Apr-02 10:06 PM
hmmm...now, i always thought it happened the other way round...that smart and beautiful men keep picking the wrong women...highly interesting response, body hammer, i wish you were the twin brother that i never had :)
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| body hammer |
Posted
on 03-Apr-02 07:32 PM
Gracias P.
I hope the yarn spinning goes well, how's the Rushdie-esque fiction telling going these days?
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 04-Apr-02 01:31 AM
Among the 'Indian' writers, Rushdie's charm ended with "The Moor's..." for me. Am a big Naipaul fan, but am more into Rohinton Mistry these days. Following our own noted kaam-lekhak Samrat Upadhyay's recommendation, I'm reading Mistry's debut "Such a Long Journey" now. A gripping read. But was pleasantly surprised yesterday when somewhere in the middle of the book he unpredictably goes into length talking about a paanwala, in front of a house of whores, whose many recipes includes the formidable "palang tode paan" - the bed breaker. It was one of the most "seriously" hilarious stuff I've ever read. Highly recommended (reading as well as the paan) for all "smart and beautiful men who keep choosing the wrong women" or vice versa :)
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| keta01 |
Posted
on 04-Apr-02 07:10 AM
Same Works for tall men, they usually end up with short girl and vice versa.
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| Catz |
Posted
on 04-Apr-02 08:58 PM
So Keta01, you'd rather go out with Taller Women then you???
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| krishman |
Posted
on 04-Apr-02 10:17 PM
Tom cruise went out with Nicole kidman .They had wonderful 10 years .
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| zul |
Posted
on 04-Apr-02 11:27 PM
hey paschim
have u read a fine balance. i forgot the author's name. damn good book. could u recommend some good books for me to read plz. thanks.
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 05-Apr-02 02:09 AM
Zul, funny you should mention "A Fine Balance". It's by Rohinton Mistry. I just finished last night Mistry's debut novel "Such A Long Journey". It was just gripping - a shockingly accurate portrayal of lower-middle-class Bombay Parsis. Has none of that romanticized Indian nonsense. Pure and Honest. Read it.
Recommending books is hard, but I can tell you what I've read and liked these past 3-4 months.
1. The Clothes They Stood Up In, by Alan Bennett
British humor. Send me an email if you want to read my published review of this novella before reading the book.
2. Purana Samjhana: Diaries of Ram Mani Acharya Dixit
Fascinating glimpses from Chandra Shumsher's Nepal as recorded by his closest confidant. Edited by Keshab Mani Dixit.
3. Half A Life, by V. S. Naipaul
First novel by the Nobel Laureate in 21 years. Send me an email if you want to read my published review of this book before reading the book.
4. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress, by Dei Sijie
Humor and Political Satire by teenagers being 're-educated' under Mao's criminal years in the 70s.
5. Samjhana ka Pana Haru, Part Two, by Ganeshman Singh
Second volume of engrossing memoirs by Nepal's boldest son ever; presented by Mathabar Basnet.
6. Elusive Quest for Growth: Economists' Misadventures in the Tropics, by William Easterly.
World Bank economist trashing 50 years of development wisdom and practice, including his own employer's...written for a lay audience...very useful if you want to engage in "informed debates", not the halla-based "yo bhayena, oo bhayena" kind of whining.
Next in line? Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (have been carrying it with me for the last year just because its first line is so damn good - "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"...I have to begin this soon...and two mammoth biographies that I've yet to finish are Ho Chi Minh by William Duiker and Mao: A Life by Philip Short...also lying unfinished at my bed side is Amitav Ghosh's "The Shadowlines"...and of course, do read Samrat Upadhyay's "Arresting God in Kathmandu" if you haven't yet - it'll be good for the country and your health.
Okay, these are some of the stuff I remember off the top of my head that I enjoyed in the past 3-4 months...Hope this is useful...if you share my interests, feel free to send me an email, and I can refer other books I've enjoyed in the not so immediate past... you will of course see a "humor-politics-economics-history" bias in this selection. After kauli-ko-tarkari and single women (aged 22-27), this is what I like most; ke garne? you can call it a disease. i can't help it :)
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| zul |
Posted
on 06-Apr-02 12:32 AM
paschim,
thnaks for the recommendations. some of the names look preety interesting. will check them out. i already read arresting god in kathmandu and only liked some of the stories. rest was alright. i am halfway reading half life by naipul..so far it is ok. i am also halfway reading the blue bedspread..very good so far by raj kamal jha. check it out if u get the time. ya would love to read some of your reviews. do post it. thanks once again. hey have you read arundhati roy's the god of small things.damn good.
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| thule |
Posted
on 06-Apr-02 04:48 PM
Paschim,
how about a single woman (22-27)who makes awesome kauli-ko-tarkari.
thankyou for posting the recommended books. i might pick up a couple of them.
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 07-Apr-02 08:28 PM
Zul, I thought of sending the review to you on email, but why not post it as you suggested, just in case it helps other people decide whether or not to read this book by VS Naipaul, who dare I claim, Niraj Shrestha of Washington, DC and myself discovered making a reference to Nepal as a land from where his father's ancestors MIGHT have come from on paragraph 26 of his 2001 Nobel acceptance speech in Stockholm. In the interest of public knowledge, this good news was later propagated through Kantipur by its reporter Rama Parajuli Onta. I understand this news created the usual reaction in Kathmandu ranging from "wah, kya raamro khabar" to "Nepali origin ko bhayera hamlai bhutro matlab?" Anyway, hope you like the review that was published in The Kathmandu Post last year.
-------------
Half A Life by V. S. Naipaul
Published by Knopf, New York
211 pages, US$ 24, October 2001
Reviewed by Paschim.
A Canvas of Checkered Fulfillment
Half A Life is a work on studied nonchalance to conformity, to this need of self-respecting men across societies to pretend that life is going on fine when it’s not, when to admit so is sacrilege, and a life of emptiness is continued to be led. Naipaul deconstructs this educated culture through a talented character blessed and cursed in equal measure by circumstances beyond his design. He gives public confessional of under-performance a new sort of respectability by saying that awkward things do happen to innocent people. He whispers this in a tone of devastating fatalism.
Naipaul’s writing is disarmingly transparent. His protagonist, William Somerset Chandran, has an uncanny resemblance to the author himself. In 1956, Willie, son of a Brahmin and a sister of an untouchable radical from a princely protectorate in India, lands a scholarship at a London college, thanks to his father’s comical fame as the man who attracted tourists by keeping a vow of silence.
Willie finds the bohemian atmosphere of the immigrant’s London in the 50s mildly liberating. He experiments with sex, scorns his closest relations, especially his father, reads Hemingway, and gets published. He then falls in love with Ana, an heiress to an African estate, and follows her to a colony where they spend eighteen uneventful years. The country is unnamed, but the overdone Portuguese pedigree and other clues give it away as Mozambique.
Willie’s career in the book is not illustrious. Certainly nothing like the Naipaul we know today, an accomplished life adorned with the Bookers and the Nobels, and a giant so tall that a reviewer in his country of adoption recently declared, "In a canon of contemporary British writing, he is without peer." But casting everything in settings that many who have researched his early career know have been visited by Naipaul himself, Willie is the Naipaul who never became, but could easily have, given how he himself portrays fate dragging complete lives of promise to mediocrity. If the intention is to allow a convincing merger of honest reportage from a life that he knows best with the invention of failure, the other life that he knows he partially avoided, Naipaul succeeds. In Half A Life we have three distinct voices narrating happenings in India, England, and Africa. It is the final section that is particularly joyous where, as the Nobel citation puts it, Naipaul "unites perceptive narrative and incorruptible scrutiny to compel us to see the presence of suppressed histories."
There’s an awful lot of sex in the novel. Naipaul wants us to pick this theme up because he writes about it with rare candor. Mostly, it is of the imprudent variety: Willie tactlessly seducing women who belong to his friends, or sleeping with insulting prostitutes in London and under-age girls with tight breasts in Mozambique. Willie’s early years with Ana mark some pleasant discoveries, but it is only through brazen infidelity at the age of 33 that he finds bliss in sex. One gets the impression that Naipaul is almost angry that this should happen so late in life to good men. He finds it unfair that those who shy away from experimentation at early ages because of guilt and honor are never helped. As Willie says, "We are all born with sexual impulses, but we are not all born with sexual skill, and there are no schools where we can be trained. People like me have to fumble and stumble on as best as they can, and wait for accidents to take them to something like knowledge." This sounds like Naipaul’s own struggle to tame his urges as a foreign student at Oxford in the 50s, amidst a state of suicidal depression, which he has admitted elsewhere.
Naipaul’s confessions of having visited prostitutes in London as a young person and his scandalous philandering silently accommodated in a complex union to a loyal wife of forty years are damningly portrayed in Sir Vidia’s Shadow by a friend turned foe, Paul Theroux. It is not an accident that a character in the novel, self-described as rich and white from Colombia, emerges to make an amusing statement, "My youngest sister is married to an Argentine. When you have to look so far and so hard for a husband, you can make mistakes." If Theroux’s unsubstantiated allegations are to be believed, Naipaul has outrageously likened pregnant women to ugly sights. This is echoed in the novel: "that alteration of her already unattractive body tormented me, made me pray what I was witnessing wasn’t there." Lady Pat died some years ago without mothering a Naipaul child. In the novel, Willie spends eighteen years with Ana, and yet that predictable product of most normal marriages isn’t even mentioned. A painful conversation occurs when a graceful Ana confronts an indifferent Willie about his indiscretions. Even she isn’t spared the humiliation at the end.
Continued...
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 07-Apr-02 08:29 PM
The thematic repertoire of all Naipaulian works includes exile, alienation, and the psychological ravages of a colonial aftermath. Born in a small town in a small island on the periphery of the empire, Naipaul reflects movingly in The Enigma of Arrival, and says he has no sense of belonging. He has rightly claimed the world as his subject of inquiry. But both his fiction and the documentaries have largely drawn on lives that remain what Thomas Hobbes in 1651 called, "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." Naipaul has not always been affectionate in portraying his peoples – the Africans, the Indians, the Muslims; and this is where he has taken much flak from critics. He just doesn’t give a damn about being correct and proper, especially on the sensitive themes of race and identity. This is perhaps what distinguishes him from the idle, pontificating Left. Naipaul is an author of precision who knows what he is saying and why; he thinks, weighs, pauses, measures, and perfects every single sentence that he writes. In his non-fiction, Naipaul usually sits back and lets his characters speak. In novels, he takes charge and speaks through them. That this is common knowledge often makes reading him a tragic experience. The parts where he is sorry for his father, parts where he is sorry for himself, are brutally honest, and thus so very hard to bear.
Sir Vidiadhar Surajprasad Naipaul declared the novel form of narration dated three years ago, foretelling that his next creation would introduce a new style. Half A Life does this by ending without a climax, without a resolution, with Willie becoming incorrigibly unfaithful, divorcing Ana, and flying to Germany to meet his sister Sarojini whose own life across continents had been uninteresting despite spurts of promise. Naipaul’s books apparently don’t sell well, not in big numbers. The marketplace for his readership is diverse, but it is a skeptical crowd without a huge, loyal core. It is easy to appreciate Naipaul because nobody writes like him. But to admire him, people need to see in him a partial reflection of themselves, almost connect with his origin in a humbled, ignored land, or his attempt to reconfigure his relation to his roots with the luxury of distance and bemused detachment.
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| zul |
Posted
on 08-Apr-02 01:50 AM
paschim
wow!!!! i mean i am speechless. i mean i read for the pure enjoyment of reading. but u go so much deeper into your thoughts its amazing. i am sort of intimidated by your profound thoughts. maybe i am the wrong person to share your thoughts with though i enjoyed reading them. hehehehe i dont know what else to say as i said before i am speechless:)
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| Catz |
Posted
on 20-Apr-02 02:02 PM
It's all because Opposite Attracts...
The lust you feel for someone different not only adds an element in your life that was previously missing, but it also adds to the challenge of it all. You're a nice gal, yet you tend to fall for the boys that kick your heart to the curb. The appeal of nasty boys can seem like a mystery to you and your buddies, who always ask why you're with the Monster from the west rather than a Man who knows how to make you feel like there's no place like home. Could it be that you're looking for the challenge, that motivates you to do so?
So, definitely one explanation for why the Sweetest and Smartest girls end up with the biggest jerks around. The challenge of conquering the heart of someone so opposite from you can add to the passion, which sometimes gets mistaken for love.......
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| D |
Posted
on 20-Apr-02 02:11 PM
you are so right catz. I am a very nice, good natured boy and I fell for a girl who turned out to be a mangy little bitch
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