| Username |
Post |
| Girl to be married |
Posted
on 02-Apr-02 04:24 PM
Hi There
I am to be married soon and am a well educated woman working as a computing professional at this stage and am about to marry a guy who is working on a lower position basically as a labourer in a retial business. I would like to keep the details minimum! But can you people please point out some complication that we can have in our marriage. We understand each other very well and will avoid any problems and also will also always help each other to become better professionally. I will surely do this as a wife even though if I have to sacrifice my career. It would be great if you can give some feedback on the complication that can occur.
Cheers
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| hmmm.... |
Posted
on 02-Apr-02 04:47 PM
This is one of those postings that makes you go hmmm....
Is this for real? More than wanting to know what kinds of complication, you seem to be commercializing this thought.
So my suggestion, dump the illiterate chump. There are plenty of literate guys looking for a bride.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........
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| :<<( |
Posted
on 02-Apr-02 04:57 PM
Complication in the future? Complication has already started as you have started to differentiate between your job and his job. From tomorrow you will start comparing yourself standing in a party of four with him and a person you would have been married had not it been for him. It is very much complicated to analyse your complication..
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| What??? |
Posted
on 02-Apr-02 06:29 PM
Hi gal,
What do you want us to write as a feedback? As long as you love him, what do you have problem with him? Are you talking about bargaing? Why do you degrade him saying that he works in a retail store? Never think that you have been professional, and he has not been professional. If you want more than love and care form him, forget him and go for your boss. He might be suit for you in terms of professionalism.
Good luck..
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| My Opinion |
Posted
on 03-Apr-02 01:47 AM
Yeta hera kanchhi Nani
ma kehi bhanchhu suna
Timra poilai syalle lagyo
syalko puchhar tana
Ma ta bhage kholapari,
Danda chautari
If u reallly love him? No.
If so no question arise here.
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| boston_dude |
Posted
on 03-Apr-02 11:55 AM
Girl to be married,
U gotta be kidding right? I mean your focus is solely on career as you have posted it here. Surely, your marriage is more than that. I can only assume that you are posting it here to get some response. Well, I hope it is either that or you just decided to keep the lovy-dovy stuff outta this posting.
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| BDM |
Posted
on 03-Apr-02 04:46 PM
Well, it's better not to marry him. Marrying a dude without a degree means that u'll have limited things to talk about with him. Really, you won't have many things in common with him. On the other hand, marrying an educated fellow *will* mean that u have lots of things to talk about. You can talk about philosophy, u can talk about religion, u can talk about anthropology, u can talk about whatever u want. You can argue as much as u can , and u can also agree to his opinions. Don't go just for looks...what are u gonna do once his face starts to wrinkle??? Your infatuation will disappear, won't it? So, find yourself an educated spouse. That's exactly what I'm gonna do, since I am of the opinion that looks are superficial. However, if my luck gives me a complete package, i.e a girl with both beauty and brain, then hey, kewwwwl.
So please, heed my advice.
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| rebelious sevendust |
Posted
on 03-Apr-02 07:13 PM
hey bride to be
are you saying your future husband is illetarate just because he works in a retail as a low wage labor? if you are you are so pathetic. let me restate your question for you.
My future husband makes less money than I do and he probably can't afford to buy the fancy stuff that I like so should I marry him?
even a person without a higher degree can be as literate as you are. people can educate themselves without going to school. About 2yrs ago there was a coverage about this guy in 20/20. he never finished his high school and of course never went to a college but he has an IQ beyond measure. he is writing a book in cosmology. I hope you agree with me when I say physics is one of the hardest subject you can imagine and astro physics and cosmo physics is even harder. he has challanged harward educated physicist to prove him wrong. he did all this without getting any degree and by the way HE WORKS AS A BOUNCER IN A SMALL TOWN BAR SOMEWHERE IN EAST COAST. that is also a low wage labor job.
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| vagabond |
Posted
on 03-Apr-02 07:50 PM
Girl to be married, you have brought up a very valid point. It is one thing to be filmi and say for love do everything and it is another thing to actually be in the position that you are in. I think you concerns are genuine.
First of all, it is very important that you look at all the variables that may impact your future, before you get married. And I think that is what you are doing here.
I don't think the guy working as a laborer in a retail store is a problem in itself. And I don't think you being in a computing profession is a problem in itself either. There are a lot of other professions that can be more problematic. However, combination of two can be a problem. And the combination itself is not a problem either. It is two of you who will create this problem, if you are not sincere.
It will depend on couple of things. The main things are attitude of each of you and the sincerity of each of you towards the situation. Even though you and your fiance might be open minded, you have to be frank and figure out how open minded you guys are. Most of the guys would not comprehend his wife being in better economic (well it is shared) or professional position. Even though he says he is cool, you will have to understand him whats deep inside your heart.
You said you will sacrifice your career to make the marriage work. But what happens when you don't have anything to eat? Well, it may not be that bad, but the needs and requirements increase as you go through time and it can be very frustrating if you don't get what you need even if you are putting your full effort.
Finally, you also have to understand if he is willing to put some effort to be in professional career. That itself will not solve the problem, however it can minimize the problems you may have.
Having said all these, I hear you on what you are saying. And it is not black and white question. It is indeed, as most of the aspects of life, is grey. And there is no right or wrong answers to that. You make what is right and what is wrong.
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| aviyentaa |
Posted
on 04-Apr-02 11:39 AM
Hey girl
You have already decided that you are going to get married with your guy. Even equally professional and educatedd people have complications in their relationships. Einstein also ended up divorcing with his first wife even though she was a physicist. Inrelationships you need an understanding, care and respect. You have already voilated one of this mantras by saying that he is not educated and works for a cheap labor. You have said yourself a computer professional. You must have exercised some brain before you even made a decision to marry him.
If a highly educated man can marry a less educated woman, then why can't a woman? But the point here is you need to respect your partner whoever he or she is.
Best of luck!!
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| girl to be married |
Posted
on 04-Apr-02 02:45 PM
Vagabond
I really support your input and you really have directed me in the proper direction. Thanks alot for that. I think your message was very rational.
Cheers for that mate!
And to everybody else thanks for taking the time in giving me some feedback. They too had some relevant points.
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