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Posted
on 06-Apr-02 01:11 PM
Cupid's Arrow Flies Straighter in Chat Rooms Than in Bars, Research Suggests
By JEFFREY R. YOUNG
Couples who meet and get to know each other online might develop stronger relationships than those who date the old-fashioned way, says Jeff Gavin, a lecturer in psychology at the University of Bath who has studied online chat rooms.
Mr. Gavin says that his surveys of chat-room users challenge stereotypes about online dating. "There is a stigma about Internet relationships -- that they are shallow and hostile, or that there is something wrong with people [if they] can't go out and meet somebody face-to-face in a club or something," says Mr. Gavin.
But his research indicates otherwise, Mr. Gavin says. He argues that relationships that start online are "at least as strong" and maybe even stronger than more traditional ones.
In fact, courtship in cyberspace has "some unique benefits," Mr. Gavin says. For one thing, men tend to be more open with their feelings and emotions in online chat rooms than they would be at bars or over candlelit dinners. And women feel that they can be more openly sexual and flirtatious, he says, perhaps because they feel they have more control over how they present themselves.
"Women tend to appreciate this," says Mr. Gavin. "Men aren't looking at their breasts while they're talking. They're actually listening to what they're saying -- or looking at what they're typing."
So far, Mr. Gavin's studies have been limited in size and scope. In his most recent study, he conducted extensive face-to-face interviews with 42 frequent chat-room users. All the participants were 17 to 25, and all were students at Macquarie University, in Australia, where Mr. Gavin was a lecturer until this year. He presented results from the study this month at a conference of the British Psychological Society.
Of the 42 participants, 29 said they had formed close friendships or romantic relationships with people they met in online chat rooms, and 21 of those said they had eventually met their chat partners and begun face-to-face relationships. Two participants in the study are engaged to marry partners they met online.
When it comes to describing how they look, chat-room users tend to stretch the truth a size or two (or shrink it, as necessary), says Mr. Gavin. But most chatters he has interviewed said they don't completely lie about how they look -- in case they decide to meet in person.
"That's what we all do when we go to the nightclub: You slick back your hair, or you put your blue contact lenses in. That's what [chat-room users] sort of do with their self-description."
Andrea Baker, an associate professor of sociology at Ohio University, says her studies of online relationships support Mr. Gavin's conclusions. She notes, however, that the most important factor in whether online relationships succeed might be the kinds of people who tend to use the Internet.
"The demographics of people online might suggest that they are more educated and perhaps communicate better than non-users of computers," Ms. Baker says. "What I find is that people who take time to communicate online before they meet find out if they get along, and also about their areas of compatibility. So chances of success may well be higher."
Ms. Baker is writing a book about her research, Double Click: Romance and Commitment in Online Couples. It is due out next year from Hampton Press.
Mr. Gavin plans to do more-extensive studies of online dating.
http://chronicle.com/free/2002/04/2002040502t.htm
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