| Username |
Post |
| Love Potion |
Posted
on 08-May-02 02:40 PM
I am writing this knowlingly despite the fact that the woman I really love in my life is probably getting married to a guy who's just come here from States. Looks like that she might even end up going with him to the States leaving all her studies.
I am very sad at letting her go.
Mostly, because we've been the best of friends and that we've shared some of the most intimate moments in both our lives - sometimes even getting little physical. Not actually sexual, but I've actally told her that I really do love her and she also tells me that she loves me but is serious with his Nepali guy from US whom she's met on chat for quite some time. She came to know of him from her another friend in US. Now she says she is getting married to him and he's just come here in Kathmandu just to see her.
Well, no problem so far. But the problem is that we've just been so intimate that it's been so hard to part on my part.
First, I know that she still loves me but I don't know what she's seen in this US guy that has driven her to make this decision - She might even get a visa to the United States after marrying this well off Nepali guy already settled in US.
Secondly, she's starting to spead rumors that I was only after her despite the fact that we two were going around. Everything we did was mutual. She has also started to tell everybody that I am the sole reason she wants to leave her studies and leave for the United States.
Third, all her batchmates are telling me that she's been using me all this time - as in her previous cases but this is still unconvincing for me. Plus, I still do really trust her and have never told about our relationship to anybody, except to close associates, but she insists i've been telling it to everyone and that "I don't respect woman at all". The ongoing rumors, I can see, has been coming out from her own close relatives and friends.
Finally, I know she might leave me me anyhow. But still wonder why she has to use me this bad to get this guy from the United States.
I hope I could get some valuable feedback.
|
| yourGoodFren |
Posted
on 08-May-02 02:50 PM
fren:
You are under the delusion that the girl liked you. She didn't.
Now you are hurt, because the girl you thought to be sure shot is now marrying
another boy.You are helpless emotionally now,your masculine pride being hurt, you
are now determined to sully her image. May be at one moment you will drop
her name here, because afterall this site is visited by 600+ unique visitors,
mostly from USA, everyday.
Yet, you would like to give us an impression that you are a civil person. So, you
are trying to creep slowly into our imagination.No, you are not. You are another
FOSLA in his early 20s, hurt badly now, and determined to be vindictive.
The best option for you now is to shut up. The girl never liked u in the first place.
May be smiled at you, may be she talked with you sometimes, but that's all. Look
for another girl in KTM. There are aplenty. God created this society in such a way
that everyone gets one partner.
|
| My suggestion |
Posted
on 08-May-02 04:32 PM
If you love her then let her go and get married to the person she wants. She should have choice but for yourself, try to go to US or UK and get good degree and then if you would like go back to home for getting married. Do not forget to ask her if she has any local boyfriends.
FORGET THAT LADY, BE MAN. MAN DOES NOT TALK ABOUT THE GIRL. GIRLS DO TALK ABOUT THE MAN.
|
| SIWALIK |
Posted
on 08-May-02 04:58 PM
From your story, the answer to your question is: YES. The question is if there was "love" in the first place! If there was "love," would she have left? Even if she loved in her own way, she obviously values life in USA more than love that you have for her.
Reminds me of Mukesh song:
Chandiki dewar naa todi, pyaar bharaa dil tod diya
ek dhanwaanki betine, nirdhankaa daaman chhod diya...
Kal tak jisne kasme khayee, dukhme saath nibhaneki
aaj woh apni sukhki khatir ho gayi ek begaane ki
sahanaayike goonjme dabke rahagayii aah diwane ki...
woh kya samjhe pyarko jinkaa sabkuch chandi sona hei
dhanwaalonko pyar to kewal bas ek ....... khilona hei
sadiyonse dil tutataa aaya, dil kaa bas yeh rona hei...
It wil hurt that you got duped. Life is harsh my friend. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Maybe you could get to USA youself and find a better wife than she ever would have been.
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 08-May-02 05:14 PM
Siwalikji:
Tapaaiko response herdaa tapaailaai pani hard hit parejasto chha bigatmaa.
Guessai ta ho!
Chaadiki diwaar na todi pyaar bharaa dil tod diyaa huh!
|
| SIWALIK |
Posted
on 08-May-02 05:23 PM
Heheh, I am a happily married man, no more entertaining filmi idea of love and romance. I used to be a Mukesh fan and sad songs appealed to me. :) Still do!
|
| Bhenda |
Posted
on 08-May-02 06:24 PM
Love Potion Ji,
You should forget about this mean and immature gal, yo ketiko kurua sunda ta malai nai jhannaka rees uthyo. Why do you eve love her?? Testo matlabi keti sanga ta break up bhayekai bes haina ra????
Good luck!!
|
| djanonymous |
Posted
on 08-May-02 06:49 PM
Love potion ji,
The girl who is leaving you is probably into some sort of dream or may be she actually does like this "chat" dude. My suggestion...You have done your part ( considering I haven't heard another side of this story). You should just move on. If she truely loved you or cared about you, nothing would have mattered and we wouldn't have seen this message on this board. But since she didn't, there is no reason to get sad. People get dumped. It's no biggy and it might not be your fault. But it would have been nice if you had known this ahead of time so that the scale of "hurting" might have lukewarm effect only. Be courageous, it hurts... but life goes on. Try to distract this whole situation with something else such as what would you really like to do if you were single. I know its tough, but life ain't easy. One more thing, don't just fall in a love instantly. Those cactus thorns might not be visible with the light blanket of "niceness" for short run, but later they will sting at you. And surprise!... you are on candid camera.
DJ
|
| justCurious |
Posted
on 08-May-02 07:05 PM
Was she a rich girl?
Was she a beautiful one?
Was she one of those two?
Then it is natural for you to be sad. Otherwise, may be koochole badarnu parne kaser hawale udaaidiyo. Dude, you don't know so many people in the world wish
their gf would just go away.. It is so difficult to dump so called lover (girls/boys)
thesedays.
|
| i'mmorecurious |
Posted
on 08-May-02 07:56 PM
really J.C.? a.k.a JustCurious
You really had Problem dumping yrs?
|
| i'mmorecurious |
Posted
on 08-May-02 08:06 PM
Love Potion
I think you are very emotional right now....
dont do anything stupid ...
If she wants to get married to the guy from "oh my god the United States", hey let her...... and hear this
"if you really love someone then let her go
if she loves you she will come back to you....
but the Question is will be able to wait there for her?
if yes........
if no......
think about it you got all the options open man, why you worry?
there are 5 billion people in this world you have all the choices :)
Happy choosing and sorting out....
|
| yourGoodFren |
Posted
on 08-May-02 08:11 PM
Was she karodpati baap ki eklauti beti?
Just curious. Then your sadness is understandable.
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| Trai |
Posted
on 08-May-02 10:21 PM
dear all,
interesting, but here's my only suggestion to the guy who got dumped (or whatever that it is):
I know everything's easier said than done, and there's no way that we would feel the same as you do, its impossible. so, just remember this one thing, just two words:
Jagatam Mithyam
The world is nothing but just a mirage, dream and in your case a nightmare. Wake up!
trai
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| Trai |
Posted
on 08-May-02 10:33 PM
and here's a little addition to the prevous post:
when people break their hands/legs, they need some time to recuperate, right? and and i think the same happens when hearts get broken. you need some time to recuperate, and think. I don't know, just my thoughts. so, stop complaining, move on to the healing phase. if it doesn't work, then listen to nabin bhattari's songs. I like these two very much:
1. bhijeko najar le hari sakyo judhna lai
aashuka dhara suke aaba timro nimti bagna lai
paila haru thake aaba, hidna lai timro dajoma
dherai mathi timi pugechau, chadera malai yaadko bichauna ma
2. mero saath bitayeka paal sabai satiye hola ni
ma bhanda ni maya garne aaru kohi bhetiyo hola ni
well, i don't like these because i went through these bhijeko najar and all those bichod-ko phases. its just these two songs have the pain, and good choice of words.
good luck.
|
| Bostonian |
Posted
on 08-May-02 11:05 PM
Hi love potion,
"This is a life", people say. I would suggest you to forget her. She is not your life. You have your own life. You just play around, you will get a real one who loves you.
At this place, you love her, but she does not love you. You need the girl, who loves you. It is the basic thing in partnership in life.
By the way, I live in US and I do have school and every stuff. I had been talking to a gal in Nepal, I found her that she had intension to come to US getting married with me(I am an Naturalized American, unmarried). I broke up with her because of her intension.
What the hell all the Nepalese people have to go to Nepal to get married with a Nepali gal who has a boy friend at home? There are hundreds of nice and intelligent Nepalesed gals in the US.n I would say the guy has to think of her intension. She can leave him too while she gets comfort here. There are thousands of well of people and she may find a better one than her so-called husband. He has to think his and someone's life. She must be bitch.
Relax buddy....
|
| Dale Carnegie |
Posted
on 08-May-02 11:13 PM
Remember!
True Love Always Comes Back.
|
| apc |
Posted
on 08-May-02 11:18 PM
love hurts
========
Love hurts
Love scars
Love wounds
And bonds
Any heart
Not tough enough
Or strong enough
To take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a fluke
Or just like the rain
Love hurts
Ooh, ooh
Love hurts
I'm young
I know
But even so
I know a thing or two
I learned from you
I really learned a lot
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it's hot
Love hurts
Ooh ooh
Love hurts
Some fools think
Of happiness
Blissfulness
Togetherness
Some fools fool themselves
I guess
They're not foolin' me
I know it isn't true
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts
Ooh ooh
Love hurts
Ooh ooh
I know it isn't true
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie made to make you blue
Love hurts
Ooh ooh
Love hurts
Ooh ooh
Love hurts
Ooh ooh
by: nazareth
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| Trai |
Posted
on 08-May-02 11:36 PM
Dale Carnegie,
Nothing comes back. bageko khola ra samaya, they don't come back, so don't give that poor guy false hopes.
and now, reading back the originator's post, i could not make anything out of it. I symapthize with him, OK things get messed up for him, but what does he want from others? What kind of feedbacks for christsake on this one? people have different feelings and he should deal with this on his own, if he can't then he must have some friends that he can share things with, why portray himself as oh-look-at-me-i-am-so-miserable? This is another classic nepali trait, i guess. Don't take my being so critical in negative sense, but what's there we can do, and what does our words mean? nothing. absolutely nothing.
But interestingly enough, he has made me think what would i do if i ever find myself in his shoes?
Anyway, mr.tragic hero, before you go on blaming the woman, think what made her decide that. Just call her, email her, meet her and ask her. then tell us her reaction, now, how are we supposed to know what she has on her mind.
And others, don't sympathize. Its going to make him even weak. Your heart broke, stay alone for a few days. You'll be fine. The more you dwell on this, the more you start feeling sorry to yourself, the more comoplicated things will get. So, remember what i wrote earlier:
jagatam mithyam
Trai
|
| Paschim |
Posted
on 08-May-02 11:47 PM
Love Potion-ji, welcome to the club. For whatever reason that happened, justified or unjustified, life goes on. My advice to you is: i) take up humor and start laughing at the world, and ii) start flirting with poetry, however bad. Both humor and poetry are most therapeutic. Perhaps you can relate to the following?
Siyo nai ropda, nadukhne yo jyan, bichhod ma murchha bho
Farkinchhau bhanne, jhino chha aasha, aasha nai amrit ho
Aankha ko sambaad, naatak jhain thaani, nabana nartaki
Heraai ko bhaaka, bho rahar ghayal, lagyau dil bandhaki
Suru ta sandhai, khyal khyal nai hunchha, samaya bho babiyo
bedana ra haanso, chhyen chhyen ko yaad, hridaya gansiyo
Aago ma faale, kharani dhulo, tara bachdachha smriti
Naboldeu tyo jhoot, naropa chhura, nabirsa tyo tripti
|
| ashu |
Posted
on 08-May-02 11:54 PM
Speaking from an intensely personal experience of some years ago :-),
I happen, on the whole, to recommend getting dumped by the one you
love for LONG-TERM benefits.
Sure, the whole thing is inexplicably painful in the short-term, but, but
and but
Consider the LONG-TERM benefits:
a) Just as your physical muscles need to be stretched and even "hurt" in the gym so that they end up being stronger and bulkier, your EMOTIONAL muscles too need to be stretched and "hurt" so that they become much stronger and a lot more mature.
Hence, as a result of being dumped, you will, if you work at it, have the kind of serene emotional depths that most people who haven't had similar experiences can never have.
b) You are more able to appreciate the whole symphony of real human
emotions (the stuff for which poets get Nobel Prizes and all that
maan-sammaan!) -- from puzzlement to hurt to anger to rage to irrationality
to jealousy to despondency to seeking your real friends' help and support, to acceptance to being realistic and optimistic and ultimately much, much
happier.
c) Bacchu Kailash, Fatte Man, Narayan Gopal and Deep Shrestha start
sounding like khatara ko endlessly listen-able philosophers that they
really are. You begin to feel that they sang all those songs expressly
for you and you alone!!
d) Sacrates said, "know thyself": Times of such troubles are excellent times for introspection to get to know the core of your being, and to realign your
interests, commitments, values and priorities so that you become happier, productive, more yourself and interestingly, all the more appealing to many,
many other even smarter, more beautiful and talented women out there :-)
So, don't let the blues get to you: accept them as they are.
But do not forget that it's only through managing these blues that you can hope
to get more "hari.yali" in your life a few weeks, months and years down the road.
Then again, I am an optimist.
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
|
| SIWALIK |
Posted
on 09-May-02 12:23 AM
There will come a time when you will thank her that she left you. You would have found someone else more caring. By then, you will be lot stronger! If you do not do something drastically foolish, you will relish life. Remembe: what does not kill you makes you stronger! And I suppose most of us have been there! After all, Buddha got it right when he said: Life is dukha!
|
| Survivor |
Posted
on 09-May-02 12:54 AM
Jab dard nahi tha siney mein
Tab khaaq maza tha jiney mein
Ab to shyad hum bhi royein
Saawan k mahiney mein.....
LP! You will get over it. Believe me
|
| _BP |
Posted
on 09-May-02 04:57 AM
If you loved her, let her go. If she loved you, she will return, and if she doesn't, she never did.
Another cliche: To have loved and lost is better than to never have loved at all.
|
| S P I D E R M A N |
Posted
on 09-May-02 07:41 AM
dude, seems like you are bragging about things that don't mean a thing.
just forget about her. There are bunch of gals who would love you for REAL. It was seen in your case that that girl never really loved you. She was REALLY using you. Find the true love, not some shitty girl. Its all your mistake that you lacked the vision to recognise the REAL girl.
Just be happy that you have been loved. Some people (like me) have never been LOVED. So be happy with what you got in your past. You are still lurkin' to the future, and future holds lots of appropriate gals for you. Just find one, who would love you for real. When you find her, just don't let her go.
|
| Dumpee |
Posted
on 09-May-02 11:44 AM
Broken heart for dummies
Bro Love Portion,
I hope all the replies above to your query are sufficient enough, no matter how jumbled up and cryptic. All the answer you will ever need is there. Only catch being, we Men are from mars and we tend to put on our Mr Fix It Cap and give advice and suggestion in rather insensitive and chaotic manner. Hence the information overload, chaos and need of decoding. But we do mean well.
I understand your predicament. Like most people in here I have been on receiving end too. I will try to steer away from negative aspect and try to pass on constructive suggestion. I hope my insight will help you in your path of recovery and shed a light on darkness. They way I see your posting is a cry for help rather then fish for attention and pity or vilify the girl in question. But it is unfortunate that this girl will be caught up in this crossfire and you will sink to levels you never knew existed.
The posting makes it is clear that you have been DUMPED (I know it’s harsh)
Pain
1. The bombshell: “Its over”
2. Denial: this phase is clouded with anger and disbelief. WE ask our self, what on earth is she thinking about? The audacity. She does not know what she is doing. I am sure she doesn’t mean it and will soon come to her senses. Feel like punching her. Beating some sense in her. She does not know what she is missing coz you are nice person. Maybe too good for her. But on the surface you but on a brave face. (Mutu mathi dhunga rakhi haasnu pary cha)
3. The Truth: Whoa! She does mean it. The truth kicks in. You rack you brains as to where it all went wrong? What did you do? Was it something you said? The way you slurp your soup? Swoop the noodles? Waist size? Total confusion..
4. Cliché: Set them free, if doesn’t come back it never was. At this phase you try to see the sense of it all no matter how clouded your judgements are. Maybe try to go far as win the lost cause. You grovel in the mud and sink like you never sunk before. You beg, you promise, you try hopelessly.
5. Reality: It is indeed over. She has found someone else. Your pride and ego takes a beating of a lifetime. So what now? Wallow in self-pity? Listen to pidit songs? Sleepless nights crying (big boys don’t cry, but we do)? Suck on to bitterness like a sweet? Cry vengeance? Whispering campaign, use grapevine and backbiting to discredit the one we loved once. Damned be all these negativity. It just sinks us to the abyss. (Something not to be proud of). Not strong enough? Then slip away to depression
6. Depression: now this is one daemon, we can do without. We never know we have one, until we read about it or seek help. Here is a quick way to find out if you are suffering
Are you depressed?
The distinguished psychologist Martin Seligman described depression as ”The common cold ” of psychiatry. About 12% of the population experience a depression severe enough to require treatment at some time in their lives. Although the vast majority of episodes of depression end within 3 to 6 months. This does not mean that there is nothing you need do when you feel depressed. There are things you can do to help yourself, things that friends and family can do and ways in which professionals can help. It is best to recognise it early in order to nip them in the bud. Following are some sign of depression
Thinking
Inability to concentrate, Inability to make decisions
Loss of interest in thing going on around you and in other people
Self-Criticism: “I have made mess of everything”, Self-blame: “Its all my fault”, Self Loathing: “I am utterly useless”
Activities seem pointless
Pessimism: “This will never change,” “there is nothing I can do”
Preoccupation with problems, failure, and bad feelings
Believing you deserve to be punished
Thinking about harming yourself
Feelings
Sadness, misery, unhappiness
Feeling overwhelmed by everyday demands, feeling burdened
Low confidence and poor self-esteem
Loss of pleasure, satisfaction and enjoyment
Apathy, numbness
Feeling disappointed, discouraged or hopeless
Feeling unattractive or ugly
Helplessness
Irritable, tension, anxiety and worry
Guilt
Behaviour
Reduced activity levels: doing less the usual
Everything feels like an effort
Difficulty getting out of bed in the morning
Withdrawal form people, work, relaxation, or pleasures
Bouts of restlessness
Sighing, groaning, crying
Bodily Changes
Loss of appetite, or occasionally increased appetite
Disturbed sleep, especially waking early in the morning
Loss of interest in sex
Fatigue, lack of energy, or exhaustion
Inertia: Inability to get going, dragging oneself around.
These are all the pointers. At the end of the day it is entirely up to you how you fight your battle. What recovery path you choose and how you progress. Here are some interesting, honest and somewhat amusing views of people in here . ( Just though contribute a little myself)
|
| dumpee |
Posted
on 09-May-02 11:45 AM
Continuation:
YourGoodFren :You are under the delusion that the girl liked you. She didn't. (Maybe she did, but not anymore)
You are helpless emotionally now, your masculine pride being hurt, you are now determined to sully her image. (Sink to Abyss)
God created this society in such a way that everyone gets one partner.(Smiles :o) )
My suggestion: FORGET THAT LADY, BE MAN. MAN DOES NOT TALK ABOUT THE GIRL. GIRLS DO TALK ABOUT THE MAN. (Hard to forget someone who once loved. Don’t forget but value what you learned)
Siwalik : It will hurt that you got duped. Life is harsh my friend. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Maybe you could get to USA yourself and find a better wife than she ever would have been. (Life is harsh, but don’t go to US coz of hurt or vengeance. Go there to learn)
Djanonymous: My suggestion...You have done your part ( considering I haven't heard another side of this story). You should just move on. If she truely loved you or cared about you, nothing would have mattered….. (Agreed)
Trai: The world is nothing but just a mirage, dream and in your case a nightmare. Wake up! (Love portion wake up!)
Bostonian: "This is a life", people say. I would suggest you to forget her. She is not your life. You have your own life. You just play around, you will get a real one who loves you. (Move on)
Dale Carnegie: True love always comes back (In movies, Dale Carnegie is outdated anyway)
Apc: Love Hurts (but love lifts us where we belong, love is oxygen, love is standing near,)
Paschim: ( Humor and poerty sure are theraputic. But not all of us are blessed with such luxury, WE do try though)
Ahsu : d) Socrates said, "know thyself": Times of such troubles are excellent times for introspection to get to know the core of your being, and to realign your interests, ommitments, values and priorities so that you become happier, productive, more yourself and interestingly, all the more appealing to many, many other even smarter, more beautiful and talented women out there :-) (Hats off to this point)
Spiderman:
You are true Martian, good fix it cap you have.
Wish you all the best Love portion. What does not kill us dese make us stronger indeed.
Take care
|
| My Best suggestion |
Posted
on 09-May-02 12:01 PM
(1) Do not watch too much Nepali and Indian movie.
(2) Specially, Indian movie is very seriously bad for health.
(3) Check your balls..... do selfcheck .....make confirm..... there must be two
(4) Find another Girl who you both can trust, respect, love and create future.
(5) Do some "achivement" and let hottest girls dream about you. Don't dream girl that is impossible for you.
(6) Incase, If you fail from all this treatmets steps, contact with me immediately as below.... probably I may help you
|
| Just Curious OK |
Posted
on 09-May-02 12:13 PM
Is this possible, you may give her name or nick name is OK.
Because, If You love her so much but she dumped you and go with stranger. That's distrube my mind. Maybe I also can give her try. Who knows bro?
I am the BEST MAN in town.
|
| no wonder |
Posted
on 09-May-02 12:36 PM
who'd want to stay with someone who discussed such personal things with complete strangers and indulged in discussing hearsay with same? not i, shoo-fly!
since you asked for feedback, i suggest that you stick to the basics, i.e.:
-i love her;
--she says she loves me;
---however, she's planning to marry someone else soon;
----currently, i'm conflicted whether to move on or to press the matter with her further and would appreciate folks' feedback.
good luck!
"hey, you've got to hide your love away." ~the beatles
|
| Bostonian |
Posted
on 09-May-02 01:36 PM
Hi love potion,
I have read your posting several times and it has taught me not to give heart someone instead of understanding whole circumstance.
Most of girls are good and they understand their standing and responsibility. However, some of them are really bad in terms of nature of selfishness. Those girls can leave someone right the way.
One more thing that I want to say you that once you are on the right track, never think of the damn girls, like your ex-girls.
In US, I am tired of looking girls and their nature. I have seen many girls that they are not trustworthy. If you have a girl-friend or even wife, your best friend can take her for use. Mostly whites do that type of thing and some of Indian do that type of thing. However, some of them are real Nepali girls that I have found around boston. They love family. They love Nepali culture and they have so many things for their men as being a wife or a girl-friend(prospective wife).
My entire saying for you is to be patient and look forward. Do not blame any one.
Bostonian......
|
| hmmm.... |
Posted
on 09-May-02 06:53 PM
Shit happens, you move on with your life. The girl might go after Paki's with money after she comes here as well, who knows?
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 09-May-02 08:35 PM
>c) Bacchu Kailash, Fatte Man, Narayan Gopal and Deep Shrestha start
>sounding like khatara ko endlessly listen-able philosophers that they
>really are. You begin to feel that they sang all those songs expressly
>for you and you alone!!
Ashu, you couldn't leave your sense of humour even at this point. The dude is
very much hurt !
I don't think it is appropriate to remember this incident here. But what the heck,
some humour is already evident in this thread. So let me mention it. I heard about
a boy from Tandi (who knows, may be Pashim knows about this incident!) who
comitted suicide last year, because his girl friend (from Tandi, too) dumped him
just to get married with a boy from US.I hope our Love Potionji won't do such
mistake!
|
| ashu |
Posted
on 09-May-02 09:58 PM
>c) Bacchu Kailash, Fatte Man, Narayan Gopal and Deep Shrestha start
>sounding like khatara ko endlessly listen-able philosophers that they
>really are. You begin to feel that they sang all those songs expressly
>for you and you alone!!
Biswo wrote:
Ashu, you couldn't leave your sense of humour even at this point. The dude is
very much hurt !
************
Biswo,
I did not mean to hurt the dude.
Let's just say that the songs of those singers, among others, were of
immense therapeutic value to me when I was feeling way down in the dumps
over the actions of a certain Nepali Maiya (may God bless her, wherever
she is!) some years ago. :-), and thought that since the dude was/is asking for feedbacks, maybe the "medicine" that worked for me then may also work for
him now.
That's all.
Songs, poetry, works of art, travel and JUST GETTING BUSY with work -- all
of these measures help you to cope with the pain that does wash over you
like hot lava.
Since one can't really avoid the pain, one might as well accept it, and start
taking small, small steps to MINIMIZE the effects of that pain . . . that way, over time, that much of that pain goes away, and you learn to smile at the
whole thing a few years down the road . :-)
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
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| Trai |
Posted
on 10-May-02 12:45 AM
>>c) Bacchu Kailash, Fatte Man, Narayan Gopal
>and Deep Shrestha start
>>sounding like khatara ko endlessly listen-
>able philosophers that they
>>really are. You begin to feel that they
>sang all those songs expressly
>>for you and you alone!!
>
>Biswo wrote:
>
>Ashu, you couldn't leave your sense of
>humour even at this point. The dude is
>very much hurt !
>
>************
>
Namaste Biswoji and Ashu dai,
Biswoji, what i have inferred from some of my friends who went through this/are going through this, gaana sunne works. and when your heart gets broken, listening to those tragic songs of narayan gopal (remember, affairts start out with "timilai ma k bhanu" and ends with "mutu mathi dhunga rakhi hasnu parya cha"). This is life, a series of rejections, compromises and what not along the way. I totally agree with ashu dai, when your heart gets broken, you feel like all those bichod ko songs were expecially written for you, and you get so hooked to them, "mero saath bityakeo paal sabai satiyo hola ni" to "bhijeko najar le, hari sakyo judhna lai" to "what do you get when you fall in love"--all of a sudden you can relate to these songs, and somewhere in your heart you feel that things will work out, although you know it in your brain that no, its not going to work out. That's what my friends told me. Thanks god, i haven't been through this experience in life, and i wish even my worst enemy doesn't have to go through this, tara k garney, jiwan yestai cha aani jagatam mithyam.
yetsai cha jiwan..
Here's a story of my friend:
A friend of mine, whom I shared an apartment in DC with, was in nepal in the winter 1998 and met his maiya. he told me that, in the last meeting she gave him two tapes to listen to. He did not listen to those for almost a yea, and in that eyar's period, many things happened. then all of a sudden he decided to listen to those tapes, and you know what, he just got hooked to this song "bhijeko najar" by NKB, and he would make us listen to these all the time. sunda sunda jhyau lagne, tara he would enjoy it ebcase he could relate it to his life. The girl, i heard is quite successful in nepal, where as my friend is struggling to make his way in the US.
Another friend of mine to fell in love, and he too is going through the excruciating phase. Although we are not that good of friends, everytime I call him, he too is listening the narayan gopal songs. If these two guys are using music as therapy, then i think our love potion (??) should also experiment with it.
biswoji:
nu ren mei you xin aa, tamen zhen qi guai, shi bu shi? ni ji de bu ji de zhi shuo ge:
duimian de nu hai kan guo lai...
wo zuo kan, you kan, shang kan xian kan.
yuen lai mei ge nu hai dou bu jian dan
wo xiang le you xiang, wo cai le you cai
nu hai men de xin shi hai zhen qi guaui..
aaah! zhen qi guai le le lai lai le lai..
qi guai de bu de liao! (wo xiang)
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| SIWALIK |
Posted
on 10-May-02 01:22 PM
Defenitely songs and poetry helps. The idea is to be connected to life itself. From a feeling of "This happened to me," a hurt person can relate to "I am not the only one, others have gone through this." He can then feel that if others survived, he can too. It is harder to tolerate an experience that is unique--no one to share and nothing to relate too...
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| juggler |
Posted
on 11-May-02 12:13 PM
Sorry to hear about tangled up triangle love story, U r not the lone soul with that kind of story, believe me let her go gracefully and U would be proud of urself. It would be very difficult for U at the begning to let her go just like that, but be a man. And try to find someone who loves U rather then whome U love, U would be happiest. And finally, do not dwell in Bachhu Kailash, Naran Gopal or Michel Bolton in situation like this they would drive U nuts, stick to something like Megadeth or hang aroun with good company. Goodluck.
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