| Catz |
Posted
on 01-Jun-02 05:22 AM
Think back to the last time your heart was broken. The next time you encounter a similar situation, will you be free to choose how you act, or will you automatically attempt to protect yourself?
Most people will choose the second option. However, focusing your attention on self-protection prevents you from being fully present. You may miss opportunities to change the outcome of the situation, to play it differently, to see how it is different. You may miss opportunities to truly connect with someone. That's why letting go of your past —or "getting complete" — is vitally important, especially if you have been divorced or have had a history of poor relationships. If you do not get complete, you will carry old pain into present and future relationships.
Actively repair the damage that was caused to you. If something of yours was taken, replace it with an item just as good or better. If you were emotionally hurt, give yourself the kind of support, acknowledgement, love, etc., that you wanted from the other person. Re-examine the situation from the vantage point of the present. How did you grow as a result of the pain? Was there a hidden gift in going through the experience? Repeat until you can feel gratitude toward the situation, the pain, the resentment, the anger and the other person. Do something physical to symbolize that you are now letting go of the past and are ready to move freely into the present. Repeat until you feel complete.
If you do not get complete, you may perceive any situation similar to the one in which you were hurt as more of the same. This will make most relationships difficult, and may even prevent them from forming at all.
By Rinatta Paries
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