| Username |
Post |
| namita kiran-thuene |
Posted
on 21-Mar-01 10:15 AM
Lately I have been trying to write poems with rhyming verses. Mostly I write in free style without the constriction of ‘iambic meter’ or ‘trochee’ and so forth. Whenever my lines rhymed it was purely by chance (I am aware what Freud would have said though!). I took this as a challenge – to be able to write in metrical verses. So, I am reading poetry of this kind. While reading I came across this poem. Every time I read it, it leaves me stunned. I think Frost wrote this. The simplicity of this poem is noteworthy.
Bereft
Where had I heard this wind before
Change like this to a deeper roar?
What would it take my standing there for,
Holding open a restive door,
Looking down hill to a frothy shore?
Summer was past and day was past.
Somber clouds in the west were massed.
Out in the porch’s sagging floor,
Leaves got up in a coil and hissed,
Blindly struck at my knee and missed.
Something sinister in the tone
Told me my secret must be known:
Word I was in the house alone
Somehow must have gotten abroad,
Word I was in my life alone,
Word I had no one left but God.
Again, thank you Biswo for introducing Ms. Subba to this site. I enjoyed reading her poem. After reading all these poetry (Home Raj Acharya, Gokul etc.) inspired me to post my own poem. I was “inspired” while walking in the street of Kathmandu. Please don’t think I am trying to compare my work with Frost’s. That would be very unfunny. Besides, it was my pre rhyming period! :)
Waiting for the Eleventh Reincarnation
I want Vishnu
To skip his 10th Avatar
Trails stretching miles and miles
Red, green, grey
Plastics –
Stinking rotten fruits –
Food –
Wham! It hits you!
The stentch
Black filter above,
Taste of gasoline,
Sand between your teeth
Cruntch…
You hear it loud
Vishnu, where are you?
Skip your Kalki avataar
Just get on that black stallion,
Fast!
We need you here,
The Garbage God!
The Lord of all lords -
Rising –
Liking a phoenix
From this dump of dumps,
Hell
- Kathmandu-
Rescue
Us, all of us
To our nirvana
To the final
bliss
I am awaiting
For the 11th reincarnation
Prostrated
My head on your feet
Not breathing
For, I am mortally
Afraid
That,
This,
Will be my final
Breath!
Published in 1999 (sometime in winter - maybe in October; I forgot the exact date) in ‘The Kathmandu Post’. This is an edited version.
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| Adwiti Subba |
Posted
on 21-Mar-01 10:42 AM
Dear Namita,
"Waiting For the eleventh Avatar"
Robert Frost has inspired you and he is the muse for this poem. This poem is very, very good. I love the free style, the flow and mostly the subject matter. To write about Avatars and exposing our culture with our thoughts and expressions to the world is very important. To steer away from aping the west but taking the best of it and maintaining your identity is what I see in this poem. I do love it! Thank you!
Adwiti Subba
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 21-Mar-01 01:42 PM
Dear Namita:
I actually think you are very good in writing poems, in fact,
improvising poems.Remember that satirical poem last time? It was
also very good.For me, it is easy to grasp the poems with fewer
words per line, and so our interest jibes.
I got little bit confused here in this line:
>>
Vishnu, where are you?
Skip your Kalki avataar
Just get on that black stallion,
Fast!
Isn't black stallion the one that Kalki avatar is supposed to
mount? Then probably you are not asking Vishnu to skip his 10th
incarnation, but to precipitate it (the Kalki avatar). I wonder
if I misunderstood this nice poem.
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| namita kiran-thuene |
Posted
on 21-Mar-01 02:25 PM
Dear Biswo,
Normally I write and leave it. It is upto the readers what they make out of it. But, in this case I felt like answering, I don't know why:
No, I really meant skip that avataar. Since it is established that there would be 10 avataars, I wanted him to come as the 11th. somebody could take over that 10th one, don't you think? I wanted Vishnu, no other. And, I wanted him to ride that Black Stallion, you know for a dramatic effect.
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 21-Mar-01 04:08 PM
Dear Namita:
I hope I understand what you mean. Thank you for your kind
explanation of this poem.
Biswo
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