| Username |
Post |
| villageVoice |
Posted
on 20-Jun-02 07:08 PM
NK, I don't really know what you should write about. But Nepali diaspora would make a good read.
The other day I was talking to a Nepali woman (in her early 40s?), who was on a long visit to US. Fairly well travelled, and wise in many ways, she asked me some pretty insteresting questions. Maybe, she was just thinking aloud, both disturbed and fascinated by the diasporic life.
One thing that really struck her during her long travel in the US:
Why do Nepali girls don't go back home?
I was hardly surprised when she told me that a number of her relatives and friends have left nepal for good. But what really intrigued me was her claim that while a few men had gone back after some years in the US, or at least made frequent trips home, women had completely cut off their ties with Nepal.
Obviously, this woman wasn't expecting me to come up with a quick answer. Nor did I have one to offer. What's your take, NK including?
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| Suman Dhakal |
Posted
on 20-Jun-02 09:29 PM
One reasoning that I can come up with to exlpain this observation has to do with our culture. A woman is seen as someone who gives up her home and family she was born into and starts a new home and a new life. When I say gives up I don't mean totally forgets all the ties. But along the lines of what this song conveys "maiti ghar timro hoina parai ghara jaoo". Whereas for a man, his parents' house will always remain his home. A man is not see as someone who is ultimetly given away by his parents. It'sa psychological thing and practiced as well.
Most nepali men that are abroad tend to go back to nepal to find a girl to marry. Whereas most nepali women that live abroad tend to find husbands that are abroad as well. So for these women living abroad, the marriage brings forth a new home and a new life which sevears the ties with back home even more. Especially with the maitis. Meaning the contact becomes less frequent.
Nepali men have the responsibility of taking care of their parents. Thus they cannot completly cut off their ties. I think the claim made by the woman that "women had completely cut off their ties with Nepal." is not entirely true. What I think is true is that they tend to be less connected than men with their people back home.
This is just something i have observed. Not necessarly my views. And I don't believe that it enitrely explains the observation made by the woman mentioned by village voice. But i do belive that it plays some role.
Suman Dhakal
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| sparsha |
Posted
on 21-Jun-02 01:21 PM
What Suman says may be true. But what I also think is "Freedom/Equality" or some concept of this nature plays a remarkable role, as well, in deciding whether to go back to Nepal.
In Nepal, females are usuallu supressed. That old saying ..a woman belongs to her parents then to her husband and then to her children....still holds up in Nepal. I am talking about in general not individual family here.
Here, a married woman has much less family bound responsibilities. Just take care of a small family. Back in Nepal, it's not this simple. She even has to care what that pan pasale is gonna say to others if she comes home late. "A female is guilty until proven innocent" attitude prevails. Female are tired of defending themselves. Society clearly has double standard. Linient for male and strict for female. This is not something pleasant, encouraging or appealing reason for a female to return to Nepal.
Once a Nepali said, "In Nepal all of my neighbors are like spies. They know more about me and my family than we (meI or my family) do. A guy comes looking for me in my tole and masu pasale tells him the story...ye waha ta bharkhar patan ma bihe garera deko chhori chha ni Sunita usko chhoro-bhanja ke- ra bhatijo lai liyera bharkhar das minute jati bhayo hola taxi chhadera balaju janu bha chha kanchhi chhori kaha. kanchho jwai aaja aaune ni ta bilayat bata...."
Few years back a cousin of mine complained (to me) against her own brother. Once a guy sent her an unsolicitated love letter. Her brother blamed her for that. She said, "he thinks I must have done something that encouraged him (the letter writer guy) to write that love letter to me".
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| NK |
Posted
on 23-Jun-02 08:17 AM
Village voice, Where do you want me to begin from? We all know the answer, don’t we? Why majority (make that almost all) women don’t think of going back. Look at this board. Where are the women? Why are they compelled to hide their names even in a virtual meeting place like this? If people come here to exchange ideas and even to have fun, why in the world you do you see hardly any woman’s name here? If we are to take this board as a microcosm of a Nepali society, then the absence of female name speaks a volume, doesn’t it? Why, indeed are we hiding from and what from?
Remember “Madhu?”
If I ever make a film I would not even touch this diasporic life of mine, for I have conveniently focused on other “mundane” thing, for instance living. I am not a whole lot concerned and don’t preoccupy myself with my so called exiled life. Right now I am trying to get the book by one, Catherine Millet, “The Sexual Life of Catherine M.” This book has rocked the literary world. You see, I am acutely aware of the readers of this board. For every one intelligent reader there are 50 whose definition of intellect is to be able to read ‘Go Spot, Go’ fluently and then see some sexual connotation in Spot’s fetching that ball and comment on that aspect in the most vulgar manner.
Remember “Madhu?”
Why do I want to read this book that is not even published in English yet? What I am trying to say is the inequality between male and female in my birth country is so medieveal, so irrational, it leaves me utterly numb and disgusted. This woman Madame Millet writes each and every sexual encounter of hers in the most clinical manner that even the sophisticated readers are questioning her motives (not about the clinical account but the sexual encounters). Women here at least the French intellectual women appeared to be saying the subject SEX is not men’s forte anymore. Have you seen the movie, “Sex is Comedy” by Catherine Breillat? I am fascinated by these phenomena. Women are pushing the boundary more and more and asking people to sit down and rethink what is acceptable and what is not? Who is to decide? Definitely not men, not anymore. Sex, which is a weapon and a trap to subjugate and torment and torture and imprison women are no longer men’s territory. [notice how people give gaali in this board. Look how prominent role the female sex plays. Eg. “randi ko choro, bhalu, whore, bitch, and if they find out a woman is divorced then, something like this, “logneley chodeki bacchako aama! Like this is the worst insult a man can hurl to a divorced woman! Look how they think and where these epithet hurlers come from]Women are taking this subject in their own hands and making it stand on its head. Women are continuously striving to destroy the glass ceiling, barrier in a corporate world are trying to destroy the next taboo, the subject of sex. I am aware it is not the same regarding women’s achievement in different parts of Europe. Germany lacks in comparison to France. There are too many reasons why. And in the states too women die from the hands of their mates and get raped and get abused and men still get 1 for every .75 women get (I don’t know what the exact figure is now).
So, my dear village voice, I don’t know where I would start if I were to write a diasporic life of a woman. The west is so far ahead, it is even ridiculous to compare to my birth country. The equality or inequality between men and women is so deep and vast like I said, it is just so convenient to forget what I as a woman had to live through in that country compared to my adoptive country. I would rather open my cabinet and serve myself a glass of sherry, put my feet up and pick up where I left off before posting this – “Yeats’ Selected Poems and Four Plays.”
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| copycat |
Posted
on 23-Jun-02 08:53 AM
Who or what is "madhu"?
The following was very telling: The west is so far ahead, it is even ridiculous to compare to my birth country.
I am sick of this "west is best - nepal is shit" attitude. "Disporic life".. Whatever! "Exile" is a term that should not be used lightly. Please keep your sherry-drinking, west-worshippping opinions for your self.... meaning, please try not to speak for other nepali women when your opinion is really about your own experience and based on an utter lack of self-respect as a Nepali.
Also, please realize that not using ones "real" name in a public forum might have more to do with being a private person than with "hiding".
Being critical of archaic social norms is one thing, but time and time again, I have seen on this board Nepali people express their self=loathing guised as some sort of progressive social agenda. Puleees.
Exile and diaspora are terms that are over rated and have been used way too cheaply by South Asian... especially when their "exile" has more to do with seeking economic opportunities and personal freedom versus say escaping political and social persecution.
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| tiramisu |
Posted
on 23-Jun-02 10:21 AM
NK,
it isnt just in a third world country like ours where women are considered subordinate to men. it is rampant in whichever society you frequent/belong to.
and it isnt just in the west where a handful of women have outshone men.
try to take a closer look and you'll find the similarities in their subjugated roles oh so very clear.
but then, i do applaud your effort to distinguish between the medieval and the modern portrayal of womens' roles. perhaps, in due time, we shall see some changes..
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| .... |
Posted
on 24-Jun-02 05:08 AM
tset!!!
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| chirag |
Posted
on 24-Jun-02 11:03 AM
I don't know where to start, but till now have no regrets to be born a female in the so called medieval society you so much despise. I don't know what to say but I've been to different places and societies of Nepal, where women are respected in every aspects.
We have been awashed with proverbs such as ' women belong to parents, husbands and sons', but can anyone say who they, parents, husbands and sons belong to? They too belong to daughters, wives and mothers. Think positively and create your own status within, none will be able to barr your way.
Educated ones are responsible to bring about the changes in the society but if they run away instead then they have no rights to complain.
Western world, if they have more freedom then why do they still use sex as a launching pad for recognisation?
Look in Asia and also in Nepal, there are also famous women identities who don't need to expose themselves as sex symbols to be recognised, they are there for their solid strategies and idealogies.
There are some who like to follow the western pattern like Sita Pandey and Taslima Nashrin(spelling??) but there is nothing wrong cos they are also using the freedom to express.
Regards
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| QreUS.. |
Posted
on 24-Jun-02 10:26 PM
NK, you probably did not know that there are a lot of people who would like to live on a bliss of innocence, a protection of denial and an illusion of self-esteem enhanced by the proportion of rejecting things. However, I am not sorry for you. I am sorry for Tiramisu, Copycat and Chirag. May their paradise remain undisturbed.
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| ashu |
Posted
on 25-Jun-02 04:00 AM
NK,
Just to get a fact straight: Millet's book has NOT exactly rocked the literary
world -- either in France or in England/America.
Sure, this autobio of a respectable-art-critic-by-day and a lusty-
nymphomaniac-by-night has been a PUBLISHING sensation in
France, and may well be one of that nature in America too.
Some critics as in Salon.com have praised her; but others -- notably in
nerve.com -- have panned her. And that's about it.
Besides, as ignorant as I am, I am not sure why you have to cite Millet -- who presents a sexually extreme case (after all, it's safe to assume that only a tiny minority of total number of women in the world have sex with 100s of men in
their life-time!)-- to talk about the role of women in Nepal.
Sure, conditions for women in Nepal are generally NOT that great.
But things ARE improving to a large extent: there are many smart, educated, aware, professionally respected and competent women in Nepal than there were even 5 years ago.
In my professional life here, I myself have met a number of professional women who have come back from the US, Australia, England, France and other countries who are doing their best -- in Nepal, as similar women elsewhere -- to combine career commitments with family responsibilities, and on and on.
Instead of launching into a blanket, if cliched, accusations -- citing people like Millet no less -- you could have at least acknowledged the FLUX and COMPLEXITY that women's issues and roles are rapidly undergoing in Nepal and among Nepali communities.
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
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| Suna |
Posted
on 25-Jun-02 05:58 AM
QreUS
I couldn't have put it better. Maybe I can enhance it further:
There are lots of people who live in the state of mind that you have accurately outlined and yes I also do feel sorry for people who refuse to come out of the shell and grow up!
In answer to VV's original posting, I think there are various reasons why women refuse/opt not to go back to Nepal and some of those reasons are no different from a male's: job opportunities etc. But unfortunately, there are some major reasons that women have to re-adjust to if they opt to go back home. Although some are pretty obvious, others are not (that obvious to men). Once women are out of the social binding (this may vary for each one of us so lets not generalize), they experience new responsibilities and the ability to be able to do things for which they will not be stigmatized immediately. For example, going out with friends, socializing with men, drinking, taking part in discussions etc. Most of which would brand women back home as being of loose character. For some people these may be trivial matters for others they're not but once a woman has lived in a society where she is not stigmatized because of her stature, her walk, her nose, her hair, you-name-it, it is pretty difficult to start thinking about going back.
As this was a question that was directed at women, I would suggest that men refrain from making sweeping, passing judgments and speculations.
Speculate u may but you have to be walking in a woman's shoes to really feel what we do.
(continued)
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| Suna |
Posted
on 25-Jun-02 06:26 AM
Yes,
Things must be definitely changing and I'm glad they are for it is high time as well!
BUT!!
a. are you judging all of Nepal by just living in Kathmandu and seeing a few young kids in hip-hugging jeans and short tops?
b. are you again judging Nepal because of a few "born-with-a-golden-spoon" group? (therefore, no reason not to go back rather than stay and fold your own laundry)
Let me present this case to you. A real story!
A girl comes to england and finishes her masters. By the time she goes back, she is 26 years old and of course, naturally, has had a couple of boyfriends. Since none of her relationships worked out, she wants to live and work back home so she opts to go back home. She goes home to Kathmandu, finds a job in a respectable and starts working. She is constantly approached by different men to marry and finally gives in to her family's desire and decides to marry someone she has known as a family friend. She is engaged. Marriage plans are underway with zest. Guess what?? The groom and his family accidently meet an ex of hers and the next thing the girl knows, everything gets called off because they find out that she had had a boyfriend. The Nepalese ex squealed, the would-be groom chickened and where did that leave her????
She is hurt, frustrated, and lonely. She is 35 years old now and vows never to marry into a nepali family! and she has applied for a Ph.D. in the states to get out of that mess.
And she regrets that she ever made the decision to go back home
Lessons learnt:
you may be educated but don't presume that the purkhas will understand all situations
you forgot to cut off your ex's tongue
to all the rosy-cherry-eyed young women: under all circumstances (abusive relationships, cheating boyfriend, etc) stick to the one you're with lest you also get branded as a you know what - bidesh ma arko sanga basisakeyko.
Cheers
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| NK |
Posted
on 25-Jun-02 12:04 PM
A quick click to Google.com, eh Ashu to get the "facts straight"? Maybe you and I should have some sort of table and have a little box to write down the degree of 'rock, mildly sensation ional, sensational,' and another box for ‘countries’ and yet another box for which newspaper starting from ‘Le Monde finishing with ‘The Star’ and of course including your fav. 'Salon.com.'
Ok, now we get that out of our way, let me see what do I have to say. I think it is a no-brainer when one writes like what I posted here; one does not and should not write on anecdotal evidences. Congratulations to those women who are doing quite well for themselves and helping the country and the community living in a country like Nepal (I am saying this without a hint of sarcasm, let it be noted). As you have acknowledged,
”conditions of women in Nepal is not that great”, and that is exactly what I am trying to say among many other things in my posting. Condition of women in Nepal is not that great and condition of women in Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sub-Sahara region and even in the western world is not that great. And, why shouldn’t I talk about Madame Millet’s book? I am talking about the zeitgeist. Yup that is one hell of a useful German word that creeps up everywhere when you want to show you are serious. I am talking women’s stride into what is considered male’s territory and such a taboo subject at that (talk about having sex with hundreds of men and tell it to the world in a minute detail, no less). This is a world community, isn’t it, the global village (the g-l-o-b-a-l-z-a-t-I-o-n, one of your favorite words I presume), therefore, when I talk about women and their role and their condition why should I leave out what is going on in the world? And the subject of sex, you say should be off limit when I talk about the “FLUX and COMPLEXITY that women's issues and roles” in Nepal? Please read my posting again. Begin with the sentence, “ …Sex, which is a weapon and a trap to subjugate and torment and torture…”
And lastly Ashu, just like your saying somebody else’s thinking muddled does not become one, your repetitions of –the word “cliché’ does not make my writing a cliché. Just be a bit more responsible when you are trying to present yourself well-read and articulate, will you please? One dimensional thinking is a bad habit.
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| villageVoice |
Posted
on 25-Jun-02 12:38 PM
While I would let NK and Ashu sort things out about the writer in question, let me get back to Suna's comments. I find your anecdotal story very telling: why women, who are educated, or have spent a substantial time in the west, leave Nepal.
Yes, I have come across some girls here in US, who had similar experiences in Nepal, though not as nasty as your friends'. But I have also met girls/women, who despite some "funny people", have decided to stay in Nepal. I am not saying one is superior to the other. It all depends on your priorities.
But if you find my remarks in the earlier posting a generalization, it wasn't meant to be. But I would also ask you to be equally careful, Suna and other ladies, that you don't put good-intentioned men on the defensive with your "men, you never seem to get us, right" stuff.
As a man, and one who's spent a good part of his adult life in Nepal, I may have developed certain values, or baises (whatever you prefer), and the primary reason behind posting messages in these public forums is a/ to articulate my ideas on those subjects, often contorversial, and b/ to put them to litmus test.
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| jagatdogg |
Posted
on 25-Jun-02 12:45 PM
The "rules" of life for a Nepali woman (whether in Nepal or elsewhere) are changing, but not fast enough. There is a whole new generation of women out in the world that are educated, intelligent and ready to make a difference in their respective communities. However, we still remain bound by many traditions and expectations in our immediate and extended families. We as a society have not changed enough to make it appealing to go back to Nepal and try to forge a life that would be equivalent to the life we live in the United States. However, despite that, by remaining here (in the US) we miss out on many life experiences of the rich Nepali culture that could never be matched by staying abroad. I'm sure many women get caught up in marrying someone abroad and staying there because of proximity therefore, they don't return because they have a family of their own in a place other than Nepal. It's not an easy question to answer, but there are plenty of men also stuck in the same quandry and become confused individuals that are neither here nor there. This is a dilemma faced by a new generation of educated immigrants that continue to feel an obligation and duty to their homeland and families. Sorry I can't give any answers...but, just thought I'd add my 2 cents.
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| ashu |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 12:06 AM
NK,
Please allow me the pleasure of taking you out to dinner one evening
when you are next in Kathmandu.
We will then talk about Millet's book (so far, I have only read the reviews, but a friend is mailing a copy to me soon) and about various complex and in-a-flux
roles facing Nepali women in today's world.
Time-permitting, I would also like you to meet or at least talk to some
urban/rural,
educated/illiterate,
West-returned/never-left-Nepal
young/old
single/married/separated and divorced
BUT remarkable Nepali women, and see how they are adapting -- successfully
and not so successfully -- to life in Nepal.
Until then, I intend to enjoy reading your reply above,
oohi
ashu
ktm,nepal
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 02:39 AM
Mrs. Millet ko ukta pustak malai pani padhna mann laagyo. Google garera reviews hereko, a-ha! Sadly, bookshops in my city only carry stuff authored by people from Albania, Guinea-Bissau, and Rolpa.
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| Suna |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 06:01 AM
VV
I had intended to hit a nerve but it seems I hit the wrong one! So please let me clarify:
I didn't mean to be judgemental of men and their quality or rather the lack of, I was (mildly) sniggering at the fact that for some machoistic reason ( or again maybe lack of real men-ism) SOME of our men do kiss and tell. HENCE my line "forgot to cut off your ex's tongue". If you think I was generalizing so be it! I hardly am god but wait!! even god could not imagine another being different from him therefore he made an exact replica of himself - a man thus he himself was a sexist! Or maybe he made EVE first hmmm confusing this talk of man and woman. Why not see everyone with the same eyes: judge every person w/o regarding the sex of the person. THERE! I solved the problem. Lets vow to bring up our children to judge the person as a person and not as a male or a female. Thats a start somewhere!
VV, you have biases/values so do all of us. We were brought up in a very biased society. (lets not get into that) As a woman who lived most of her adult life abroad, here are some of the reasons why I cannot think of moving back home (just yet): this invisible purdah system that we have annoys me, I am very opinionated therefore I know I will not fit very well into a crowd (however educated) where the wives shuffle into a corner and the men socialize in another, and so on and so forth. I am waiting for age to mellow me and my ideas down and then probably go back some day :). But this is me and just me.
(I GET SICK OF TALKING GENERALLY SPEAKING AS I THINK IT SOUNDS TOO HAUGHTY SOMETIMES)
cheers
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| Suna |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 06:10 AM
excuse my english guys but I know you will be understanding as its only 6:00 and also since Im taking english 109 right now, I have to sometimes curb my otherwise flawlessly punctated, error-proof anglais. So those of you who like their punctuations in the right space and those wannabe english profs, I have a problem with comma splice and I know you can tell as I try not to use them even in the most obvious places. :)
oh don't let that 109 thing fool you please :). Just tickling some of your brains.
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| chirag |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 08:09 AM
Dear QreUS,
You don't have to feel sorry for I don't live in a paradise. Paradise is meant for those who wanted to live in a previously moulded society where everything comes out their way and that's what I call an Illusion.
I live in reality where changes are brought about by the strong will powers.
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| villageVoice |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 09:05 AM
Suna, when i posted "Writing Stories," and made some potentially controversial comments in the process, I was prepared for all this and more. So no problem there. I still haven't responded point-by-point to NK. Nor do I intend to - as if that's at all possible :) But as I said, I am all for a frank dialogue.
Having spent most of my adult life in Nepal, I am well aware of husbands and wife going to the same party, but shuffling to different corners. But as dangerous is the tendency among some women to quickly dissmiss men. That I am afraid is another form of extremism, which hinders dialogue.
As for the age mellowing you, or anyone else, here's what I have to say. Some firm, if unpredictable, reactions in fact go a long way toward delivering a statement :)
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| gsb |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 09:22 AM
Ashu,
Throwing a dinner invitation is a time-honoured way to pick up women
anywhere :-0)
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| Suna |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 09:33 AM
And when will men learn that everytime a woman opens her mouth, its not to criticize them?
"am well aware of husbands and wife going to the same party, but shuffling to different corners. But as dangerous is the tendency among some women to quickly dissmiss men. That I am afraid is another form of extremism, which hinders dialogue."
VV that line was not open for dialogue, that is my perception and I believe its my right to perceive things the way I want to. :)
Those are my perceptions and experience and until I experience it differently, those will always be there. There is no extremism there at all and when did extremism hinder dialogue? Heck even in the states I've seen the same thing at every single gathering!
Maybe I didn't understand the original thread. I read it to be an open discussion on reasons WHY WOMEN DON"T WANT TO GO BACK. Didn't realize that people would be lecturing and trying to convince us on how much life has changed and how the status of women has really elevated!
Why are some posters acting defensively??
Like I'd said before
This was a question directed at women. Unless you've walked in our shoes, don't you dare tell us what we should feel!
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| Nk |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 10:42 AM
some exclamations:
Paschim is still alive and talking! And kids are us, sorry questions are us still reading even he does not expect anything new from me ("predictable" bah , humbug!)!!!
Suna you talk about grammatical error ridden posting. Just look at my first posting. Especially the first paragraph. My goodness people understood what I was trying to say with all those maulings of subject verb object!!
Ashu, I might be there sooner than you expected. Say in August, but mayb for just a week and yes, would like to see you, but not talk. Just to listen!
I think now I am going to listen to Eminem, my favorite rap artist for the moment!:) :)
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| Nk |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 10:51 AM
And, Village Voice, how come? It would have been interesting to see your take on my "take." Try, nothing is impossible in this world. :) :) :)
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| villageVoice |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 11:41 AM
NK, I hope to get back to you. Bear with me.
At present, I am consumed by World Cup. So it's Brazil V. Germany. Who are you supporting? As for your writing, I guess everyone has a distinct way of saying things, and I am getting used to yours. And I do hope to read the book in question soon.
Suna, point well taken.
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| smp |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 03:17 PM
Millet's book is out in English as well. I might have seen someone comment earlier, maybe yesterday, that it was only available in French. I have read a few chapters so far but haven't gone back to finish it yet. It is an interesting read. Let me just leave it at that for now.
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| makuro |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 08:59 PM
Wow NK you are really amazing. You are so keen to women's right yet love Eminem, your fav rap artist! How can that be? :-)
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| Nk |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 09:28 PM
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me/ cuz we need a little controversy, cuz it feels so empty without me
-Eminem
Ha! Makuro you fell right into the trap. I knew it! :) Listen. Or rather read in this case. One of his songs from The Eminem Show. This is about his daughter. Now tell me what is there not to like about this man!
Hailie's Song
Yo I can't sing…but I feel like singing. I want to f***' sing…cuz I'm happy…yea…I'm happy. I got my baby back…yo…check it out...
Verse 1
Somedays I sit staring out the window, watchin' this world pass me by/Sometimes I think there's nothin' to live for. I almost break down and cry. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. I'm crazy, oh so crazy. Why am I here? Am I just wasting my time/But then I see my baby, suddenly I'm not crazy. It all makes sense when I look into her eyes
Chorus
Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders. Everyone's leaning on me/ Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over, but then she comes back to me.
Verse 2
My baby girl keeps getting' older. I watch her grow up with pride. People make jokes cuz they don't understand me, they just don't see my real side/ I act like shit don't phase me, inside it drives me crazy. My insecurities could eat me alive/But then I see my baby, suddenly I'm not crazy. It all makes sense when I look in her eyes.
Makuro have you heard his song
[After this he goes on to bad mouth the mother of his child... but I just love this song.]
Lately, since my 18 year old nephew's arrival I am listening to all the rap songs there had ever been. Ok ok , quite a few. Ok mostly Eminem and some Lauren Hill. I was thinking, ok now I am a feminst, [who would not be once one get to know the extent of abuse we women endure]am I supposed to not like Eminem who calls his mother "**" and all that. Am I supposed to not to shave my legs? How heavy and how far am I supposed to carry this feminist badge/boulder? Deep inside I think I am an artist and I am willing to give some slack for the sake of arts and Eminem falls there. Hey! If you are trying to establish as a rap artist and if you don't swear and put a gun in your dash board who will take you seriously? Who will buy your records? For most part I think Eminem knows what sells. And in all fairness he is a damn good artist. me thinks.
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| Nk |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 09:45 PM
Torbin, the nephew just informed me he is actually 20 and Lauren Hill is spelled as Laur*y*n Hill, not with an 'e'.
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 26-Jun-02 11:35 PM
NK dear, kina ra? Was I presumed dead like Krishna Sen the Maobadi journalist? Jiundai chhu, boldaichhu, bela bela ma harauna pare pani.
Good, forceful postings above. I assume that the passion and the strength runs in the family...abibahit bahini chhainan bhanya? If in Nepal for just a week, I suggest you definitely get the following 3 things (like I did):
1. Gundruk and Teel ko achar, ek ek poka.
2. A CD by Udaya and Manila.
3. Beautiful posters of sketches of Newar architecture by Robert Powell (1981), printed by Jagadamba Offset, which you can take back to Boston and frame. Also do get hold of a panoramic photo that Toni Hagen took of Pokhara in 1952 that Jagadamba has printed. Beautiful.
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| villageVoice |
Posted
on 27-Jun-02 06:17 AM
NK:
You are having a ball in Boston, aren't you.
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| Suna |
Posted
on 27-Jun-02 07:07 AM
Paschim!!!!!
Can you please please be more specific about those sketches of Powell's. The titles and where you found them!
I have about 5 of his but I am looking for perpendicular ones of temple bells that I've seen at someone's house. But, of course, I will gladly skim through what you have bought as well. Nosey that I am.
Also which cd of Uday are you referring to.
Wish you would stop whetting our appetite and give us details.
malgre, I have no sisters :).
Thanks so much.
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 27-Jun-02 10:11 PM
Suna: no sisters, no response. Well, that used to be my mantra, but with age, I too am mellowing, and relaxing my condition :)
I bought 4 of Powell's sketches: i) the perpendicular temple bells you mentioned, ii) a temple in Panauti, Kavre, iii) a black and white carved window of Kuthu Math in Bhaktapur, and iv) a big one, I think of a resting place, "Paati", in Kathmandu. They look awesome when framed! I bought them all at the Pilgrim's bookstore in Pulchowk, just across Hotel Himalaya.
The Udaya and Manila CD I got was "oo ani ma bhitra ko katha". I already had their "muskan". I'm sure you have both. I discovered them late you see...
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| NK |
Posted
on 27-Jun-02 10:51 PM
>Good, forceful postings above. I assume that the passion and the strength runs in the family...abibahit bahini chhainan bhanya? If in Nepal for just a week, I suggest you definitely get the following 3 things (like I did): <
Paschim, my dear, You crack me up! I am raking my brain furiously if I have any unmarried sister hidden somewhere. Would a relative do? :) Please say yes. :) :) :) And send me your photograph. How do you look like? We all know your intellectual capability but don't know if you look like a second cousin of a baboon!! hehe
But thanks for the tip. I will indeed heed your suggestions.
And, My dear Village Voice, What made you think I was having a ball in Boston? Life is nasty and living is hell! Well, ok maybe not ;)
C you in DC.
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 27-Jun-02 11:02 PM
NK, raamrai chhu :)
A young girl (23, I think) at my local barber shop has started fancying me. Guess what? I cut my hair twice a week these days.
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| koirala girl |
Posted
on 28-Jun-02 12:00 AM
Paschim,
Cutting hair twice a week? Hair of which part of your body r u talking about? the same part ko ho?
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 28-Jun-02 01:38 AM
uttauli mori :) No, I 'm not dating a barber thiti, in case you're miffed, Koirala girl. I just said she fancies me.
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| MG |
Posted
on 29-Jun-02 09:25 AM
Who the heck is this "Koirala Girl"? Baisaley Dherai satayo justo cha, ho? Who else are you stalking?
MG
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| Uttaulo |
Posted
on 29-Jun-02 09:38 AM
Paschim,
She fancied you, and you went for haircut twice!! It is obvious who fancied who!!
Yo ta bhayena ni. Jhuto bolne.
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 30-Jun-02 02:22 AM
Uttaulo mitra, I nearly missed your gentle provocation. Ok, while there is such a thing as a "white lie", let me put all innuendos to rest by declaring for the final time: jhuto bolya chhaina, and no, I am not sleeping with a barber :)
p.s. Not that there's anything wrong with sleeping with barbers as long as the hedonistic contract is based on, i) conditions of adulthood, and ii) mutual consent. I for one actually respect all forms of labor, the fan of communist literature that I am (for humorous purposes), I have learnt to accord "samman" to all forms of "shram", from investment banking to haircutting to running the White House.
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