| Username |
Post |
| Krodh |
Posted
on 24-Jul-02 03:25 PM
Maila looked at his watch. His face was showing signs of discomfort. Drops of sweat had started making their way down his cheeks which were hot from the scorching rays of the sun. He ran his hands down to feel his pistol tucked inside his waistline. The time was 1:45PM.
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THE NIGHT BEFORE:
Ramita, Narayan, Kalyan and Maila were sitting around a dimly lit round table in Parbati Lodge, Patan Dhoka. Because of load shedding, there was no electricity. The candle casting shadows on the dusty and stained curtains on the window. Kalyan's hand was busy sketching a diagram on the piece of paper and the others looked on. Looking up at the trio Kalyan had said, "It's here. The day is finally here." Everyone had looked charged at the thoughts of tomorrow. Tomorrow was going to be the day.
______________________________________________
A MONTH AGO:
Ramita was living in a Dera at Mangalbazaar. She had gone over to the dhungey dhara for her daily ritualistic evening bath after finishing her duty at the Masterni's place. As she was returning to her Dera with a ghaito of water around her waist, she couldn't help noticing the striking resemblance held by a passer by. Unable to hold herself, she called out "Maila Dai". The man, around 30ish, clad in polyester pants and a khaki colored shirt, wearing a chinese Panda shoes, turned back and looked at her with questioning eyes, "I don't think I know you."
Ramita smiled. "Maila dai, this is Ramita your long lost cousing from Lakeside Pokhara. Shyam dai's daughter." Maila creased his brow a little with his fingers rubbing his lower lip. "Oho, Ramita, you are here? This is quite a surprise." "Hasn't it been more than 5 years since you left Pokhara?" He queried.
"That's about right, Maila Dai. So what brings you here? and where are you staying at?"
"I just got into town few days back. Came to meet with some relatives. So what do you do here? and where are you staying at?"
Nearly 10 years ago, when Ramita was 15, she used to listen to Maila's adventure stories from Mahendra Gufa. Maila was a very talented speaker and used to hold everyone's interest with his adventure stories which were mostly from his work there as a tourist guide.
"I work at Hariharbhawan as a peon during the day and in the evenings wash clothes and the dishes at the Masterni's place in Lagankhel. My dera is close by, would you care for some tea?"
The walked as they talked. Once in a while the water from the gagri would make little splashes as she made any sudden stops or movements. "This is my Dera." Ramita pointed to a small door under the seemingly pile of wood holding the house up. As they walked in Ramita put the gagri on the side and hurriedly cleaned up some loose clothes lying around her bed.
Maila looked around the room. An old bed. An old old matress. A rat scurring about the corners of the room stopping every so often at Maila as if to make fun of Ramita's poverty. In one corner, a stove, a few stained and dented pans. An old wooden rack, with some milk and few masalas and salt. Two steel glasses. Under the bed he could see some cramped up clothes. Some torn undergarments. Couple of tattered books. He looked at her as she motioned him to take a pirka. "Basnush na, while I make some tea. Please tell me about what's going on in our Lakeside dai." She started pumping up the stove.
"I have been busy trying to do something concrete in life. You know how things are back home." He watched her as she was trying to use a pin the open the hole of the stove. The MattiTel came in very bad quality thesedays. Everytime you had to use a pin to open up the stove. "There is no way we can hope to live a good life there."
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| g]k |
Posted
on 25-Jul-02 02:03 PM
Wait'n for part II
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| sparsha |
Posted
on 25-Jul-02 02:15 PM
Me too.
Where is part II?
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| Gothalo |
Posted
on 25-Jul-02 08:09 PM
Please!Bring early the part 2nd!
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| psychodreamer |
Posted
on 25-Jul-02 08:27 PM
hey krodh bro...part two????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
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| Krodh |
Posted
on 25-Jul-02 11:50 PM
Baagh Chaal - Part II
Ramita turned around and smiled wryly at Maila. Maila was not smiling. Maila looked very serious. "There is nothing we can hope to accomplish in our life time. Life is so difficult for us. Look at you. You work hard 10 hours a day, all for what? For a dirty little room and enuff to eat?"
"What else is there to do? This is what god has given me. I am trying to be satisfied with what I have. What's the point crying over things I can't get?" Ramita replied. "Dai, thousands of people don't even have enough to eat. I am being optimistic that at least I have enough to eat and a place to stay."
"Ramita, like you, I am not educated. But I have worked with enough tourists while growing up in Pokhara to realize what is going on in our country. We, the poor are being silently sacrificed as the rich and the powerful plays their power and money games. There is no value attached to human lives. Our lives are of less importance than a goat's. At least they can get some meat out of the goat after they kill it."
Ramita playfully touched Maila's hand at that. "Dai pani, oh c'mon don't be so negative." Her pupils dilated at the touch. Maila's arm felt very nice and warm. Since she had moved to the valley from Pokhara, she hadn't had much physical contacts with any males. She always kept a distance from men. She despised the men standing in the streets gawking at her. Even Masterni's brother would look at her like he would attack her if he found her alone. This was different, she felt a tinge run down her spine. She looked away immediately, lest Maila could sense her feelings.
"Do you watch Tv thesedays? All you see is corpses. One corpse on top of another. All supposedly Maoists, but who knows if they are just innocent victims trapped in this crossfire. On one side the rich and the powerful, the government, and on the other side poor people who are uneducated, ignorant, who are fighting for the Maoist cause. Then there are people who just have enough to eat and survive who are not complaining since it's better than having nothing...... The government has the ultimate power since it controls the army and the police. Anything or anyone against them is a maoist now. What a great land of peace, this land of ours is!" Maila finished his tea, and got up ready to leave.
Ramita already felt high regard for Maila. Maila still was the thinker, the philosopher. Something about him was different though. He looked so determined. He was determined to do something.
"Ramita, at this time there is no way out except to be a part of history. For the good of the country. If we choose to live the way we've been living there won't be any change. No change means no hope. No hope means no future. There needs to be a change. It is high time there was some radical change. I don't think anyone wants to do it. I am thinking about it a lot thesedays."
____________________________________________________
END OF EPISODE ONE
Next Week: Maila's plan
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| g]k |
Posted
on 26-Jul-02 09:55 AM
Dear krodh,
the first part of u're story was a suspense but what we were waiting for was not this second part. comm'n U could have done better.
In this second series, you have made some serious mistakes. For example, Maila is in a serious mood when he says:"Ramita, like you, I am not educated........Our lives are of less importance than a goat's. At least they can get some meat out of the goat after they kill it."
Then you allow u're ramita character to feel that "Maila's arm felt very nice and warm". This is a serious contradiction. Nobody will feel romantic if the other person is talking about such a gruesome state of affairs. When words such as "meat","kill" are pronounced then you don't become romantic no matter how insensitive that person is!
On another note your character "Maila" says that he "worked with enough tourists while growing up in Pokhara to realize what is going on in our country. We, the poor are being silently sacrificed as the rich...".
I think this is the main bane in Nepal. The foreigners have influenced uneducated people into going against their own fellow ppls. There are rich people & poor people everywhere. In USA also the workers work like coolies and are given great mental stress. Life in USA is not as imagined by the uneducated in Nepal. Specially, foreign manpower is exploited by unscrupulous masters. Here also the lower class(e.g blacks) feel opressed.
Unfortunately, Nepal being a poor country the rich & educated individuals from foreign countries have been able to influence the oppressed into taking up arms against their own brethren. This is not good for themselves. Ukhan nai cha ni -"Bhai fute ganwar lute".
Thus the ganwars are now having a chance of their lifetime eating the fruits of the hatred seeds they sowed into the land called -g]kfn. Killing ourselves & each-other can not be a solution for any thing.
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| Comment |
Posted
on 26-Jul-02 02:04 PM
Good work. Enjoy reading.
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| Krodh |
Posted
on 26-Jul-02 02:11 PM
Dear readers,
This is not a masterpiece that I am editing and pasting. It's just a story that I write as I hit the reply or post link on sajha.
Without having to say it. This story is fictional, and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental and all the stuff you read at the beginning/end of fictions.
Chaitra ji, there are going to be a lot of flaws. I am writing my first impromptu writing. I don't even know how it's gonna end. I don't even know what is going to happen next. It all depends on what comes to my mind when i start typing next week.
Until next week!
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