| Username |
Post |
| Biswo |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 12:09 AM
(Caution: The following account may make you bored.)
I saw her unexpectedly in Pokhara. At that time I was climbing down
the imposing Bindhyabasini temple,and two old women were loudly talking
about their daughter-in-laws who were 'disrespectful'to them.In Pokhara,
women are very garrulous,and old women talk about their daughter-in-laws
with utter dislike, My experience at the time made me feel that way.
In the chilly weather, I noticed the attractive gait of her in front
of me, wearing the reverent yellow sari with a small tray in her
hand, and talking with someone. Suddenly, She looked back, she
saw me, and was surprised, 'helllooo'?
In that unexpected meeting , I was both jubilant and nervous. I
get nervous when I see the girl I crave most. Call me a coward. It
turned out she had a relative in Pokhara.And she was doing some 'brata'
that day. Girls take 'brata' for their would-be-husband, one of my
old female friends once told me, and this feeling just made me more
ticklish.Forget the fact that I never really believed in god.Thanks
to these gods, women are still slave in their mentality. Gods were,
it seems to me, the best friends of men.
"I have some relatives here too , so wanted to meet them" I said about
the reason of my arrival to Pokhara.In a red Tika, she looked gorgeous.
Smitten,I looked at her as though there was no one else.(I do think there
was a girl with her.) Her eyes, her Henna'ed hair, her tall nose and
her fair cheeks. I was always smitten to her. I requested her to go
have a cup of tea with me in a nearby restaurant. She agreed.
She accidently touched my hand as we were entering the restaurant. May
be I was the one who touched her hand.Her hand was as soft as cygnet's
down,and yet its touch was incredibly electrifying . She asked me
what I was doing those days. I had just finished my undergrad, and
was coming to USA,but I was instructed not to reveal much about oneself
since my childhood, so I just told her, I was idling my time away.
She probably concluded I was neither a student nor an employed man ,
I somehow felt that way, and that hurt me a lot. Nothing hurts more
than when the girl you like thinks you are a dud.
Her smile was still mesmerizing, her turquoise eyes, with the colour
and depth of Pacific ocean, were still shining and whenever they were
locked to my eyes, I could feel palpitation of my heart in my left
chest. And I kept focussing my eyes at her glinting pearly teeth,
soft giggle, shifting eyebrows and plump cheeks alternately. I was
lost in her.
As we left the restaurant, little did I realise that that would
be our last visit for years to come. She married someone after I came
to USA. Marriage in Nepal is a complex mathematics, a cold calculation
of benefit and loss, a hardnosed decision involving a lot of people,
it is not all about the two protagonists. She probably thought of
me when she decided to marry, but the prospect with me probably
didn't look a feasible one to her. This is how calculation goes
there.
As we departed, I looked at the empty street of early morning
Pokhara ahead of me,for some reason it was still empty and no one
was walking with/ahead of me,and wondered what she could be thinking
of our just concluded meeting.Could she ever have imagined that the man
she just met would remember her every day , even after years, after
flying thousands of miles and after flying over billions of people? It
is so much likely that she underestimated the extent of her influence
in me even in her wildest exaggerative imagination.
Often I wonder what was that feeling? Was that the so called love?Why was
I so afraid to talk to her?Why couldn't I blurt out even a few words
without my lips' trembling, and getting confused in each sentence? Why
did I think that I should have said something better? Why
did I see her so beautiful though I knew that there were so many more
beautiful girls around? And what explains my acceptance of her
departure(marriage) as a normalcy of fleeting life? And yet, what
explains the irony that I still want to talk to her? Just talk, sukha
dukha kaa talk. Looking deep inside her eyes,just talk about sukha
dukha that I endured in this long life, that she endured in her life.
Why do I want that 'talk' again? Why do I want that (deja vu)restaurant
setting again?
Often in my dreams, I still find myself walking near Bindhyabasini
temple and looking for her despite knowing fully that her departure was
irreversible. Dreams are still innocent, and ignorant. They just tend
to soak up joie de vivre all the times very innocently and ignorantly.
What makes a man so weak and so sentimental? I don't understand. Often
I think I loved her beauty, and then I dismiss that idea.What I loved was
something else.It was the desire to sit next to her,it was the craving of
an oasis from this filthy world where everyone but her is trying to eat
and cheat me.It was her nice words, it was her curious look at my face, it
was her soft touch at my hand, it was her silent prays with the gods which
I expected she was doing for me, it was the shining irradiating out of her
exquisite turquoise pupils, it was my illusory longing, it was my
fallacy about her, it was my inability to get her, it was my adulation
of her, it was the infinity of my unfulfilled desire, it was the scar
left in my heart in left chest that still palpitates in her memory.
And I still need some more reasons to explain this interminable love.
It was different from love induced by the evanescent carnal urge that
is more frequent in my life these days.
"Illusory longings," someone said in the past,"are elusive and painful,
but what is life without them?"
(Based on an experience of a lovelorn FOSLA friend)
|
| sangey |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 05:06 AM
Biswo-ji, I am impressed. So thou have loved and lost? Well, contrary to the belief that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved (which I think is complete hogwash), wouldn't ignorance have been bliss? Anyway, that was one helluva good account, seemed to have come straight out of your heart which made it all the more touching. Perhaps, if I may dare propose, the following passage might make sense to you?
=====================================================
Once upon a time, in a certain place, there was a young boy and a young girl. He was not an especially handsome boy; she was not an especially pretty girl, either. They were an average young man and young woman, just like lonely people anywhere. But they believed firmly, without doubt, that somewhere in this world their perfect 100 percent partner really existed. One day it happened that the two suddenly met at a street corner.
"What a surprise! I've been looking for you for a long time. You might not believe this, but you are the one hundred percent woman for me," the man says to the young woman.
The young woman says to the young man, "You yourself are my one-hundred percent man, too. In every way you are what I imagined. This really seems like a dream!"
The couple sat on a park bench, and they continued talking without ever getting tired. The two were no longer lonely. How wonderful to claim a 100 percent partner and be claimed as one too!
However, a tiny, really tiny, doubt drifted across their hearts; could it really be all right for a dream to come completely true this simply?
When the conversation happened to pause, the young man spoke like this.
"Well, shall we give this another try? If we're really, truly the one hundred percent lovers for each other, surely , no doubt, we can meet again sometime, somewhere. And this next time we meet, if we're really each other's one hundred percent, then let's get married right away. OK?
"OK," the young woman said.
And the two parted.
However, if the truth be told, it wasn't really necessary to give it another try. That's because they were really and truly the 100 percent lovers for each other. Now, it came to pass that the two were tossed about in the usual waves of fate.
=====================================================
- On meeting 100 percent woman : HM
|
| Gokul |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 09:17 AM
An interesting piece of reading by Biswo whose spectrum of knowledge ranges from infrared to ultraviolet but what usually amazes me more is how can a person care to know everything that is there in this crazy world.
Although the writer is writing this story based on his friend's experience, it seems to be coming straight from his heart. It is the heart that sees the smile as mesmerizing and the touch as electrifying. The writer is successful in describing the situation of a lovelorn boy and that also within the acceptable uses of vocabulary. However, the writer has not been able to present the central theme (one may call it the moral of the story) to its readers which I consider the reward of reading a good story. The writer is definitely successful in enunciating the problem, which is the problem of trying to recognize and capture the past moment that is still haunting the writer. Or perhaps I am wrong and the whole purpose of love is just to confound and perpetuate the mystery (without even attempting to find the answer) for it is like the singularity where all rational laws simply break. Who am I to know?
|
| Suna |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 12:08 PM
AJA TIMRO KURA CHALYO....
MUTU BHITRA......BALLA BALLA BHAREKO GHAUMA..
hmm Biswoji. I had to take a deep breath :).
I have to agree with Sangey's story. If they've met for the second time and the couple STILL GET ALONG then why waste time. Make up for the time that has already been lost!
I still think that this fosla friend of yours FELL IN LOVE if he thinks about this person so far away, in this ramjham, and after all this time. And that, my friend, is incurable. They say time is a great healer bhanchan BUT some memories are unconsciously kept alive! :)
Let go let go....
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 12:38 PM
Hi the most patient readers of that boring report:
Thanks for the input.
>Biswo-ji, I am impressed. So thou have loved and lost? Well, contrary to the
>belief that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved (which
> I think is complete hogwash), wouldn't ignorance have been bliss? Anyway,
> that was one helluva good account, seemed to have come straight out of
> your heart which made it all the more touching. Perhaps, if I may dare
>propose, the following passage might make sense to you?
Sangeyji, I was not lying when I said it was not my tale. Yesterday, my summer
semester was finished, and I just wanted to write something. I remembered this
guy who always collared me into listening his past. He would close the door,
light the room with lambent night light, turn on the Philips cassette player to
play Jagajit Singh(Apne Hothope Sajaanaa Chaahata Hu..) and make me
extremely bored with his tale (I used to be afraid he would start crying.)
while serving only Chrystanthemum tea that I long stopped to enjoy.
If only I had known the story earlier, I would have told him to repeat this. But
I do remember him sometimes bursting in emotional catharsis,"I will try again
no matter what!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Gokul Posted on 08-02-02 9:17 AM Reply
>n interesting piece of reading by Biswo whose spectrum of knowledge ranges
>from infrared to ultraviolet but what usually amazes me more is how can a
> person care to know everything that is there in this crazy world.
Oh, Gokulji, thank you, but I am pretty sure I don't deserve all this praise. When
we meet each other, you will surely say, "This guy is just an ordinary guy. I got
the wrong impression."
I have to tell you one thing, impressed by your Sanskrit knowledge, I have started
reading some old scriptures. Yesterday, I was reading Karma Yoga from Gita. I was
surprised that even a famous speech of Martin Luther King Jr was exactly, almost
word by word, from Karma Yoga. I guess I am going to surprise a lot of people
next year in Denver kabi goshthi by aakhaa chimlera reciting Gita. I am
into it, really. I hope this interest won't fade away soon.
>The writer is successful in describing the situation of a lovelorn boy and that
>also within the acceptable uses of vocabulary.
Yea,I am soon going to chastise NK for starting this accusation about vocabulary.
There are a lot of people in Sajha whose range of knowledge, and vocabulary
power is stronger than mine, I think. Do I have to name them?
>However, the writer has not been able to present the central theme
I agree it was a lousy report. I read it after I wrote, and added the first line. The
reason it lacked a central theme was because it was not a story. It was a tale
about a boy who pestered me all the time with his tale. But there are so many boys
who express such weakness. They think they are the unique people who are so
much absolutely in love, and yet , listeners like us know that there are a lot of boys
who do have such tales. I am sure someone had told you such tale too:-)
To Sunaji:
>JA TIMRO KURA CHALYO....
>MUTU BHITRA......BALLA BALLA BHAREKO GHAUMA..
>hmm Biswoji. I had to take a deep breath :).
Please.
>I have to agree with Sangey's story. If they've met for the second time
>and the couple STILL GET ALONG then why waste time. Make up for the time
>that has already been lost!
I think I am going to encourage him to try if the girl is infidel to her husband. I
personally don't think the girl still loves him.
I believe in 'marriage is cold calculation' theory. That was what I mentioned. The
boy never told me anything that demonstrated he was loved by the girl too. All
he told me demonstrated one thing, she was probably interested in him.
>I still think that this fosla friend of yours FELL IN LOVE if he thinks about this
> person so far away, in this ramjham, and after all this time. And that, my
>friend, is incurable. They say time is a great healer bhanchan BUT some
> memories are unconsciously kept alive! :)
>Let go let go....
Suna, there are people who forget the past graciously. He can't, and that is true.
|
| NK |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 01:02 PM
Biswo wrote:
"Yea,I am soon going to chastise NK for starting this accusation about vocabulary.
There are a lot of people in Sajha whose range of knowledge, and vocabulary
power is stronger than mine, I think. Do I have to name them? "
Me? Now why Chastise NK for Pete's sake? It is Gokul who said it not I. :) :)
I also thought it was your own story but if you say it is not then it cannot be. Enjoyed reading yet antoher page on the saga of Love Story That Never Happend, Biswo. I think tragedy makes a love story a great love story. If Juliet had not killed herself would their love have been immortalized? How about Heer Ranja, Laila-Majnu? The only tragedy of this tragic love story was there was neve a real love story in thIs. Is that sad or what?
|
| deep |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 01:07 PM
Biswoji,
Aba tyo mitra lai "Chhora chhori ki aama lai takne tira nalag, babu" bhanera samjhadinu paryo arko choti before he opts to close the door,
light the room with lambent night light, turn on the Philips cassette player to
play Jagajit Singh(Apne Hothope Sajaanaa Chaahata Hu..).
I was visualizing all the way in your friends story, to be honest. I visualize meeting the girl with pooja-thali at bindyabasini..I came down the stairs with her walking shoulder by shoulder...came to the restaurant...I don't know what I ate but felt the pain when she left...
I EVEN FELT her soft hand.
While visualizing her I replaced your friend with me. It's not fair. I know.
|
| Gouri |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 01:15 PM
Well Written Biswo. What was the full form of 'FOSLA'. I forget it.
|
| Gokul |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 01:38 PM
Don't I meet you everyday in this forum? and are you not in essence composed of your knowledge, ideas and care that you show to the others? and why would meeting you in person change this? and do I not know nothing ever remains the same?
My knowledge of sanskrit is rudimentary for I have never taken any formal education. Whatever I have learned is from the rote study of scriptures(Rudri, Chandi, and Bhagavat) in my childhood . If you force your praise, then I am forced to conclude that I am a figure among ciphers, that's all. You may find Dr. S. Radhakrishna's writings more convincing and interesting. Gita definitely has much to offer to the civilized world. You can only imagine how I felt when my western professor quoted Gita in the knowledge management course:
"Knowledge is the work in action."
|
| Biruwa |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 01:45 PM
Ah, a love story. And the flow of Sari draped in a perfect curves. What is it 32-24-32?
Our oriental culture has become very conservative.We, in Nepal, make a lot of hoopla about boy-girl relationship.Conjugal relationships are deemed as something vulgar. This was not always the case. Khajuraho Temple, with its depiction of erotic art, stands out as an example in history when our ancestors overcame their inhibitions. Eroticism was not something to be shamefuly banished from our lives.
The Occidental culture, however has embraced our aborted philosophy.
Last Saturday, I was invited on a screening of the play “And the Nightingale Sang”. The play’s theme was of a soldier coming back home to his beloved. Among the various show of affection to each other the actor’s use of a prolonged kiss was specially striking. Having been raised in a conservative environment my friend and I were left looking at each other.
FOSLA = Frustrated One Sided Lover's Association
|
| Biruwa |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 01:52 PM
I think it should have been the other way around ;)
perfect curves draped in a flowing sensuous sari.
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 05:20 PM
NK,
>Me? Now why Chastise NK for Pete's sake? It is Gokul who said it not I. :) :)
In another thread, dear.
>I also thought it was your own story but if you say it is not then it cannot be.
>Enjoyed reading yet antoher page on the saga of Love Story That Never
>Happend, Biswo. I think tragedy makes a love story a great love story. If
>Juliet had not killed herself would their love have been immortalized? How
>about Heer Ranja, Laila-Majnu? The only tragedy of this tragic love story
> was there was neve a real love story in thIs. Is that sad or what?
Oh, come on, I really didn't mean it to be a great story. It is a story of a boy
who pestered me all the time.
NK, I've listened accounts of some lovelorn ladies who in their lachrymose
sobbing tone told me how they loved the boy but never got reciprocated.
But nothing bored me more than this account of a friend. I rarely believed
the girl ever loved him, either. But I listened to his account all the time,
sometimes sipping Chrysanthemum tea, sometimes few hot cups of Maxwell
Coffee.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>deep Posted on 08-02-02 1:07 PM Reply
>Biswoji,
>Aba tyo mitra lai "Chhora chhori ki aama lai takne tira nalag, babu" bhanera
>samjhadinu paryo arko choti before he opts to close the door,
>light the room with lambent night light, turn on the Philips cassette player to
>play Jagajit Singh(Apne Hothope Sajaanaa Chaahata Hu..).
I think people try to feel intensely all the time. But those people are absolutely
incurable who pamper themselves by saying they were loved by the girl they
loved. Only time can cure these people.
>I was visualizing all the way in your friends story, to be honest. I visualize
> meeting the girl with pooja-thali at bindyabasini..I came down the stairs
>with her walking shoulder by shoulder...came to the restaurant...I don't
>know what I ate but felt the pain when she left...
>I EVEN FELT her soft hand.
It is a compliment, and thank you very much for this.
>While visualizing her I replaced your friend with me. It's not fair. I know.
It is absolutely fair, I know:-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Gouri Posted on 08-02-02 1:15 PM Reply
>well Written Biswo. What was the full form of 'FOSLA'. I forget it.
Thanks, Gouri. Frustrated One Sided Lover's Association, or its member!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Gokul Posted on 08-02-02 1:38 PM Reply
>Don't I meet you everyday in this forum? and are you not in essence composed
>of your knowledge, ideas and care that you show to the others? and why would
>meeting you in person change this? and do I not know nothing ever remains
>the same?
You are absolutely right, and thanks for your confidence in me.
>My knowledge of sanskrit is rudimentary for I have never taken any formal
>education. Whatever I have learned is from the rote study of scriptures
>(Rudri, Chandi, and Bhagavat) in my childhood . If you force your praise,
>then I am forced to conclude that I am a figure among ciphers, that's all. You
> may find Dr. S. Radhakrishna's writings more convincing and interesting.
>Gita definitely has much to offer to the civilized world. You can only imagine
> how I felt when my western professor quoted Gita in the knowledge
>management course: "Knowledge is the work in action."
I definitely meant this way, you know Sanskrit more than a lot of us do. It is
very uncommon among students studying in US/Canada to know Sanskrit, I
assume. That makes you unique. Yes, we are cipher when it comes to Sanskrit.
I was relatively better in the past, believe me, Gokulji.Just forgot.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Biruwa Posted on 08-02-02 1:45 PM Reply
>h, a love story. And the flow of Sari draped in a perfect curves. What is it
>32-24-32?
No, what about a perfect 36-24-36?
And the lack of passion, tactile contacts etc in this posting is defined by only one
reason: it was never a mutual attraction, it was a perfectly one sided love. It was
a lovelorn man trying to figure out what went wrong, what could be done to
rectify that.
Without revealing any more, I think the girl was not someone I would fall into
love with. She was tall, but wasn't as fair as he used to tell me. Her turquoise
pupils were turn off. I also didn't understand why she should shift her eyebrows
while talking. But they were something the narrator very much liked. I also found
her very talkative, which is not the quality I particulary admire.
|
| LamjungKunchha |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 06:06 PM
Bishwo,
A praiseworthy piece of work. You definitely understand the intricacies of the silent romantic encounters in Nepali culture. Allthough I am still doubtfull you are not the fellow in the story despite your disclaimer, don't take it as if I am questioning your honesty. Any noteworthy work is supposed to create controversies and noise, isn't it? Just look at the example of Mona Lisa :) Few centuries later, people are still analysing her.
Keep posting...
All the way from Lamjung...
|
| Paschim |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 07:01 PM
Welcome to the club premi Biswo...longings of unattained bliss...and of course, that was you. Don't ever try to fudge ownership :)
Especially glad to see the bhaladmis (gentlemen) of Sajha increasingly opening their hearts bare. If uttaulo folks like me have played a role in this contagion, I DON'T apologize. More pidit premis in the house, the merrier :)
|
| NK |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 10:40 PM
Dear Biswo, You can accuse this story of anything, but certainly not being boring! It was fun to read.
I just don't get this. Unrequited love; love, unmerited love; unwanted love… you know. This world is filled with such thing I suppose. And Biswo, I don’t think I believe stories about those “ladies” you speak about in your posting. I think it is men’s prerogative to be so sentimental as in your “story” (*ahem* ahem) before they get what they desire. Come back 3 years later and ask them how their love feels! :) :)
|
| Nepe |
Posted
on 02-Aug-02 11:40 PM
Thousands of my clicks have not been able to post any message to Kurakani since last three days. The one I posted (to NK’s thread) was the courtesy of San. Every hour what I composed becomes outdated. My apology if I do not sound up-to-date. Anyway, several hours ago, I was writing the following.
I could not agree more with Gokul that Biswo shows amazingly broad spectrum
of knowledge and interest. And this story perhaps represents his infra-red
sector, that beyond visibility yet producing heat- the warmth of the red
fluid rushing through the palpitating heart. (I don't buy the notion that it
is just an ordinary tale of his friend ). It is also a delight to see that
Biswo's story made Gokulji wonder about the purpose of love. I am not sure
if we should say love has a purpose (I don't believe 'purpose' came before
'love'), but I tend to believe that the mystery is the soul of love. The
minute we solve the mystery, love no longer exists in its form. Whether love
is a quantum phenomenon, I haven't thought about that yet.
Some updates:
Yes, Paschim, I too was thinking the same. If you remember, once I was saying in this board ‘Paschim.le ta (Prem-jeevan ko kura kholera) aafno ijjat faali sakey’ bhanera. Actually I was luring the likes of Biswo, Ashu and other eligible bachelors to be more open. It worked, dekhnu bho ? We should now perhaps turn to NK. She is keeping on saying she does not get it. Let’s play game to break her down and make her reveal that she in fact knows everything about it
|
| hyaterica |
Posted
on 03-Aug-02 01:42 AM
To NK,
Whatcha gon' do, whatcha gon' do
(Now that) they come for you, come for you, huh?
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 03-Aug-02 09:28 AM
Hi all,
Please believe me, and jabarjasti arkaako keti bhidaaune try nagardinu hos. When
the gentleman used to finish his story, I would stand up, ask him to 'take it easy',
and come out. While walking to my room, I used to think, "At least, I am in better
situation than this dude." And that is absolutely true. I briefly enjoyed the feeling
of togetherness no matter how the conclusion came out, and I am sure it was
a hundred times better than this story of a weak man. I ,however, concede that
some of the paragraphs I wrote above were exclusively my experience, my words.
So, Paschim, Nepe, please no self-congratulation. (haha!) And NK, meet any of
my friends, he would testify, 'whatever, this guy doesn't lie'. Why should I to
you? Probably you have heard of this quotation, "People go to doctor when
all they need is a listener". I am a very good listener of people's bla bla.I used
to write stories in teenage, but since I lacked any significant experience of
myself, writing my feeling only wouldn't make a good story, so I started
writing people's feeling, and listening to their tales. And I am surprised to
find that people can talk so long even to a stranger. People have these pent
up emotions all their life that they want to unload.At least, we need to have
a modicum of trust.
|
| pokhara |
Posted
on 03-Aug-02 10:46 AM
W h a t e v e r ............
Since no one has said it yet,
Take it easy, Biswo.
Pahile jasko bhaye pani, The Fuskeko Keti is yours now.
Ha Ha !
|
| ??! |
Posted
on 03-Aug-02 01:54 PM
Umkeko machho Thulo.......
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 04-Aug-02 01:30 AM
Before letting this thread to go down to history, I think I better share some
idea about "How To Lessen Pain When You Think Break Up Is Imminent?" And
I own the ownership of this mahan anubhav:-)
Breakup doesn't happen suddenly. It takes some time. A man can detect its
immediacy by noting sudden change in her behavior. She would stop talking,
stop calling or stop writing. When a girl changes her mind, she is gonna change
it, friends. So, what you need to do is go ahead and break it up first. BE FIRST TO
BREAK UP THE RELATION. It helps a lot. If you love the girl, and she is the
first one to break relation, you will live with a scar of unrequited love forever.
Be first to say no, prove that you can also say no. If you have only two
choices left, one to be rejected by her and another to reject her, just
reject her. It helps.
A lot of smart people have failed relationship. No doubt. Because they are
conceited bunches.Despite their (often liberal) ideology, they think the girl
tagging along him is someone he got without any effort, and so can safely
dispose of too.When the girl knows this, she gets sad and angry and
humiliated. She is definitely gonna leave him. And the boy then feels bad
about his behavior,wants to say sorry, but the girl is not gonna come back.
Finally, the boy thinks that the girl still loves him (who else is as good as him?),
and this faint hope prevents him from completely giving the girl up. He even
fantasizes that he would meet the girl even though she is married, and
propose again.
I talked to some, SLC/I.Sc. toppers or semitoppers some of whom used to be
my good friends. There is this pattern, and I am amazed to see how these
educated people underestimate the will of a girl to give up them up. Am I
wrong, anyone jilted and depressed out there trying to reveal his heart here?
Please be frank.
|
| goonda |
Posted
on 04-Aug-02 04:08 AM
Biswo Ji, that expression was terrific.
|
| suna |
Posted
on 04-Aug-02 09:41 AM
"So, what you need to do is go ahead and break it up first. BE FIRST TO
BREAK UP THE RELATION."
Biswoji, you had never ever come across as the macho type :) until now that is.
My tuppence on this is: it doesn't take much to make a girl happy: some good sense, loving, and understanding.
But you don't know how right you are about smart people failing in relationships. Maybe its their EGO that gets in the way?? After having been dumped (and vice versa - same person dun worry-we both thought we were dumping the other hahahhah) by a really smart person, I must say its their SMUG PRIDENESS that gets in the way.
|
| NK |
Posted
on 04-Aug-02 09:51 AM
My God Biswo! What does this "smartness" have to do with anything when it comes to love and loving?"!!!!!
You gave example of your friends who were according to you, were science and math buffs. Since when people start to equate genius in math to matter of hearts?? Are we living on the same planet?
|
| nhuchche |
Posted
on 04-Aug-02 10:19 AM
Biswo,
I think your advice to 'be the first one to break up the relation' is a cop-out if nothing else! How can you even have a relationship with that kind of attitude? A relationship is not a 'who's the boss' kind of thing. It has to be equal from both sides. Each one needs to give in sometimes. If one person NEVER gives in but the other gives in ALL the time, then there might be something wrong with the relationship.
Most of the time, people believe in a hindi-movie style relationship, because we have been heart-washed by the exaggerated emotional plays portrayed by hindi movies as we grew up. Love is not all wishy washy. Things have to get down and dirty to realize if each other really love each other. Throughout the storm and the sunshine the underlying feeling needs to be there. If you get into small fights and think that relation is over, then you might want to revisit the state of the heart. Relationships need to be steadier than having to reconsider it at every small or big disagreements.
I think people fail in relationships because some people are innately different that there are 'irreconcilable differences' - a reason for most divorces.
In my opinion humility and openness are very important for any relationship. If you have to see things from your partners point of view sometimes, that doesn't mean you are less of a person. In a relationship you cannot impose or expect or require the partner to do things your way. Every person is different, part of a relationship is to accept the other person the way they are. Being open about your feelings, and not expecting the partner to figure things out is another important issue. For example, if a partner has been conditioned by hindi movies to expect certain emotional reaction over a certain event, I think it is unfair to the other partner since there is no way to figuer out what is expected. The best thing is to be open about each others feelings about everything. After all relationship is about 2 people becoming one.
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 04-Aug-02 10:38 AM
Nhuchchheji, Suna, and NK,
Since you all have the message of 'reconciliation' until the end, I would like to
clarify that my last posting was not about making the affair successful, it was
making the separation less hurting when separation becomes almost inevitable
and you have only two choices, either be dumped or dump.
The so called 'smart' people are going to be late to realize that the girl is actually
leaving them. That's absolutely true. And their ego keeps on saying them, 'No
way, this girl can't leave me." And when the girl actually leaves him, an immensurable
sorrow haunts him. He tries to rectify his mistakes, tries to write hundreds of sorry
and yet things are rarely gonna change.
While I am writing this, a lovelorn friend of mine who goes to one of the topmost
universities in Europe is suffering from this. If I were to believe him, he probably
didn't eat his dinner yesterday. Well, drama to fool himself, I guess:-)
|
| Suna |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 06:40 AM
Biswo
don't tell me he goes to l'INSEAD! He will come out with a bigger ego if he does go to that school. :)
The egoistic smart people will actually never ever realize that the relationship not working out was partly their problem too. NK, make me stop before I get too detailed. Time for another poem that will bring hundreds of replies. :)
|
| Paschim |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 07:05 AM
Go on Suna, tell us all...voyeurs like us are listening :)
To return to Dr. Biswo's love advice, thank god, I don't belong to his typology of failed lovers. but how about the following scenario?
girl smarter than guy 10 times - girl loves guy - guy loves girl - but girl insensitive - guy perfect in the caring and compassion department - but guy doesn't think of leaving despite the growing girlie indifference - guy hangs on - tries hard - but gets dumped in the end anyway.
Like Biswo, I claim with a straight face that I don't "own" this predicament. It belongs to a friend. Honest.
|
| NK |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 10:15 AM
Suna: .... NK, make me stop before I get too detailed. Time for another poem that will bring hundreds of replies. :)
NK: Suna, my dear, I was deep in conversation with acharya a few seconds ago. And I have to take care of few matters here and there and maybe in the mean time give a glance to Paramendra's phot one more time :))) then, maybe, I will wite a poem "that will bring hundreds of replies." :):):)
and Biswo, jury is still out there about this phantom friend of yours. wait, i think jury has spoken already!! :)
|
| deep |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 10:55 AM
NK, Dear...
Once I was enjoying a nepali movie in jaya nepal hall from a pretty comfortable second class seat with few friends of mine. At one point, as the movie was reaching its climax, a highly charged emotional scene was making its way on the screen. A mother jumps in a river to commit suicide and her step son whom she always discounted against her own son (who, BTW, does not give a damn whether his mom lives or dies) jumps in the water to save her. The step son is swimming fast and against the current to save the drowning mother. *Senti*, you know. The silence in the theatre is under attack only by some occasional sobbing.
"Baankate hanya hagi Vinaju..." a guy from a seat behind us speaks in his regular voice as if he is watching that "chatak" in tundikhel badam ko fako mardai....
That "saala guy" was paying more attention on the swimming style rather than the scene.
And here you are. All you see in Paramendra bro's post is his picture.
:)
Bhanna uso haina...photo chahi ali.....bhaigo feri personal attack garyo bhanlan!
|
| NK |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 11:14 AM
LOL Deep. I guess baankate is some sort of stroke?
|
| deep |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 11:21 AM
yeah, baby...
(if you are offended, my apology, NK)
*****
Biswoji le thread bigaryo....katako bankate ko kura yaha mero threadma bhanera latho liyera lagharnu bhanda pahile nai bato lagnu paryo....
|
| DHYANGRE |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 11:34 AM
Yo 'bankate' Bhanya ke ho yo? Kaha love story ma dhun masta bhayera hamro Tu ko proffessorko Chori lai samjhira belama ' Bankate! Bankate!..'.
kurai bujhan sakina yo sabai janale aa aafno talko interpretation ra Philosophy chatna thale pachi sra golmaal. kasto najale diusai sapana dekhya jasto bhaira thyo.
Baru sabaile yo Darshanik kura garnu bhanda aa- aafno kasailai site diyeko, athawa love parna lageko, athawa' Chachyu Choden bhayeko' katha haru post garnu ni.
Aanfu ta aba tyo pashupati areako pariyo, khali kailash ko danda ra Guiheshwariko banko kura haru yaad aauncha, lave ko kura chale pachi. Darshanikta pani mero bicharma Kuro Ra Kulo jastai ho, Jata modaye pani modine, jata ghumaye pani ghumne ra ajha jata bangaye pani bangine. Tysaile ' Bankate" bhnera bhanya hola bhanthanchu.
"Jay pashupatinath, He Kailash Pate! yo Deep Ko sabda prayog ra hajurko lila dubai maile kahile bujhna nasakne bhaye. prabhuko Jaya HOS!"
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 12:29 PM
Suna,
Not INSEAD. Don't be afraid:-)
Deepji, from Bindhyabasini to Baakate, well , it's fine, it is still within range.
To Paschim's problem,
>girl smarter than guy 10 times - girl loves guy - guy loves girl - but girl insensitive
> - guy perfect in the caring and compassion department - but guy doesn't think
>of leaving despite the growing girlie indifference - guy hangs on - tries hard -
> but gets dumped in the end anyway.
My solution would still apply to the gentleman. If split is inevitable, why wait to
get dumped ? Go ahead, and say "I used to love you!"
Man, nothing hurts more than getting dumped. It makes people feel like they
are useless, feckless dud. Why wait for that pain if it can be lessened? I know
a gentleman who is a doctor in Nepal who used to be my friend, and even
after being dumped by a girl, he used to come to me and brag,"She still loves
me." And I heard the girl telling him in telephone, "Don't ever call me again"
when he was calling her from my place. If you can leave in illusion like that
boy, yea, may be that is another way to lessen the pain.
|
| deep |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 12:46 PM
"Aanfu ta aba tyo pashupati areako pariyo, khali kailash ko danda ra Guiheshwariko banko kura haru yaad aauncha, lave ko kura chale pachi...."
Ali ali ta malai pani thaha chha..tyo kailas, Bisworup ko mandir, ghueswari ko ban tira k k hunchha bhanera.....ti thau haru pani bhandarkhal kai rival ta hun ni.....
*Jay sambho.....ali gaja kam bho...* bhanera dui sarko taane pachhi....
"kasto najale diusai sapana dekhya jasto bhaira thyo"
dui char choti *siva buti* taane pachhi pani diusai sapana dekhiyena bhane ta....ke tanai bho ra.....feri....
kahako Biswo ji ko bindhyabasini ko PG rated batabaran bata Kailash ko "R" rated katha tira thread bangyauna khojya ni, Dhyangre.
Tyo bhasmeswor tira bata euta sanibar aaudai garya...tyaha baluwa chali raki lati lati jasti lai dui char siva buti ma rangmangi sakeka ti Ram mandir tira bata shiva prasadi chadayera aaka bros. haru ghuran dira re chhan....baluwa chalne latheuri lai ek chhin ghuran diye pachhi euta shiva vakta bolchha...."ke ho hamlai ta herdai naherdini......"
|
| ananta |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 01:10 PM
DEEP, Dhyangre and dumbass ji haruka lekhan shaili kasari usta ustai bhayeka hun kunni, yasma kehi rahsya pani chha ki athawa kaktali matra parna gayeko ho ???? ^ _ ^
|
| deep |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 01:32 PM
Ananta,
"DEEP, Dhyangre and dumbass ji haruka lekhan shaili kasari usta ustai bhayeka hun kunni, yasma kehi rahsya pani chha ki athawa kaktali matra parna gayeko ho ???? ^ _ ^
ma ta Deep matrai pare...ANANTA haina. Deep ra Infinite (GAHIRAI ra ANANTA) ta hatti ra hatti chhap chappal jastai matrai ho kyare ni......."
Aba Ananta lai tha nabhako kura Deep lai k thaha...tyai.pani yatti chahi bhani rakham kyare...pachhi ke parchha ke parchha...*Bujne lai yo kooro gairo chha...nabhujne lai ghar chheumai pairo chha....*
pairo ko kura aauda samje ek chhoti Bhimeko ghar paryo ni pairo ma. swat.tai.
Dhanna kasaiko jyan gayena. Ghar nera pairo bho bhane tyasto. Dengar.
|
| Dhumbasse (dumbass) |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 02:51 PM
Thik Cha I will wait. However,I must say that i disagree with you when you mention about a Dalit Caste. May be we need to have both of you and discuss what I have learnt by not judging one because what family they are born into or , by what caste they belong to . You might not agree with me because that is your freedom, I absolutley respect that . Similarly, I do firmly believe that your president is not going to change the name of the association even after I say what i have to say and i again will respect that full heartedly. But being a non-believer in caste system, when I first read the name on your posting , I was a little apprehensive about the name given to the organization,which i do not blame on you, and hence was my posting.
Surely here in Amerika, people are gonna come to you and ask you, out of curiosity, what is the meaning of that particular word. When you explain it , they will definitely sympathize which is a good thing in a short term, but my personal opinion says "No-No' in the long term. The first and foremost reason is that any organization that intends to do something good to those nepalese women back home,whether they belong to Dalit or not -Dalit, wants to uplift their condition by any means and brings justice to those who suffer, shouldnot itself be named as one that the people sympathize over and support, but agree with the humane aspirations and support. In another word, if we are not strong ourselves, we can not assure someone that we can make them strong. If we are not rich , we can not tell anyone we would enrich them, and , finally, if our base is sahky, we can not ensure others would have that support we speak of when we go to them. They will have no faith in us.
You and your president might argue that ' nam me kya rakkha hai', everything depends on how we work, than it is your sanstha, your house , your rules. I do not have anything to say, and do not think anyone would have, coz it is your business. It was just a suggestion since what you are doing is a great thing very little number of people can think of.
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
| Dhumbasse (dumbass) |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 03:00 PM
Deep le Ganja ra Bishwarupko kura garda Gobardhan baba ko yaad Aanyo. Ani kata post garaula bhanera lekheko kata post bhayecha. Biswhoji, Risani Maaf Hos.
Ananta,
Aba Dumbass, Deep and Dhyangre sabaiko lekhan saili milnu ma bhagwanko lila sibaya kehi pani chaina. yo unkai rachana ho, unkai lila chaldacha jastai"
"Sansar kendra bindu ho, sharir sansar oripari ghumdacha,"
Sara biswho banune mana bhye aanfai bane pugdacha"
HARE SHIVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
| deep |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 03:28 PM
Bhani haleni.....Dhumbasse (dumbass),
Matra badhi bho..badhi bho...fensidol ko rog yata pani sarna bhayena.....gobardhan baba ko jayajayakar ma ali kam joshino paryo....
Katako posting kata.....Dhumbasse (dumbass) lai nik.kai ranthanyo jasto chha.....
|
| watever |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 06:02 PM
Ignoring all the other comments...I am posting abt the article written...the later comments are a drag and Biswo is starting to look like a love/heartbreak counsellor anyways!;)
So getting back to the article...I would probably tell the guy to get a life or get over it!... not being insensitive and not saying the article was not good, but was he sure the girl had turquoise eyes? Was the guy having a hang over of some kind over his U.S. gf and seeing her everywhere...I have never seen a girl with turquoise eyes in Nepal...
Oh well I broke my flow of whatever else I wanted to write....so rest Later!
|
| watever |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 06:03 PM
Ignoring all the other comments...I am posting abt the article written...the later comments are a drag and Biswo is starting to look like a love/heartbreak counsellor anyways!;)
So getting back to the article...I would probably tell the guy to get a life or get over it!... not being insensitive and not saying the article was not good, but was he sure the girl had turquoise eyes? Was the guy having a hang over of some kind over his U.S. gf and seeing her everywhere...I have never seen a girl with turquoise eyes in Nepal...
Oh well I broke my flow of whatever else I wanted to write....so rest Later!
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 06:17 PM
whatever,
Oh, I am damn sure she was unique because she had those beautiful turquoise
pupils. I had hard time believing it first, but I noticed them myself later. Well,
some are lucky, I guess.
And thanks to being a helmsman and steer the thread back on course. Maile kehi
bhane NK and Deep are gonna accuse me of being heavy handed and trying to
'control the thread'. NK reminds me primary school ko kadaa miss who used to
inflict corporal punishment (with baasko laththi) to aberrant students:-)
|
| watever |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 07:20 PM
that was Quick Reply... you saw her later? In your dreams?
....oh well this place is filled with Control freaks I guess!
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 07:53 PM
Well, I think I was pretty clear about that, I saw her in my real life after listening to
his story. Kina shankaa gareko bhanyaa?
|
| watever |
Posted
on 05-Aug-02 10:10 PM
How did you see her in real life now? Dont tell me you are the one she is married to or something :D.... ur lovelorn friend le chaini ek choti (if I am not mistaken!) dekhera yetrooo barsa kach kach garne baba..... so how did you manage to see her? (just asking matra...kahan patyako chai chhaina!)
|
| NK |
Posted
on 06-Aug-02 07:49 AM
Biswo says: "And thanks to being a helmsman and steer the thread back on course. Maile kehi bhane NK and Deep are gonna accuse me of being heavy handed and trying to 'control the thread'. NK reminds me primary school ko kadaa miss who used to
inflict corporal punishment (with baasko laththi) to aberrant students:-) "
Biswo sees me as a stern, even terrifying school masterni and oys chill thinks I am terrorizing people with my poetry (!!!). Maybe I should just take another hiatus from this board. Don't come no runnin' now callin' me name "NK" "NK", please dun go! :)))
|
| NK |
Posted
on 06-Aug-02 07:50 AM
And yes, I have seen women with blue, grey, green, (you name it) eyes. even some in my own (mother's side) family.
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 06-Aug-02 07:53 AM
whatever, for some reason you are upset with this story, right?
Anyway, the story is complete. People can meet others anywhere. And my friend
didn't meet the girl only once. The last meeting was the one I was mentioning in
the posting.
NK, please dun go:-) Kasto ali ali jiskaaeko pani seriously line tapaai? (haat jodera) I
was just kidding.
|
| LamjungKunchha |
Posted
on 06-Aug-02 11:06 AM
Quite a tortuous journey for this thread. It has been a virtual "Chia Pasal" Discussion. As always, I have enjoyed this thread.
Keep it up.
Bishwoji, may be you should consider a profession as a "Romance Counsellor" for smart people:) I am sure you would make a pretty good living. Here goes the commercial for your business:
You think You are smart...
You think your partner is "not So smart"
you think you can do better than you rcurrent lover
You think your companion will never find better than you.
Then you are waiting for a surprize.
Meet our expert who specializes on Smart People's affair.
He will tell you what you needs to be done.
He will save you from a painful experience
He will avoid having your heart broken.
Contact our specialist, Bishwo....
Hope this is good enough:)
Bishwoji, I am just kidding. Hoping you would take this joke as a joke..
My true opinion, what I know from your posting, you are a genius.
Keep posting
All the way from Lamjung....
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 06-Aug-02 01:14 PM
LKji,
That was a good proposal.
Let's make it more real by chaning the following lines,
"Meet our expert who specializes on Smart People's affair.
He will tell you his only Mantra,
break before he/she goes anta (elsewhere)"
Teti dherai expert ta kahaa ho ra? Tehi yautaa solution maatra offer gareko po.
|
| Dilasha |
Posted
on 08-Aug-02 09:36 PM
Biswo wrote:
“When a girl changes her mind, she is gonna change it, friends. So, what you need to do is go ahead and break it up first. BE FIRST TO BREAK UP THE RELATION. It helps a lot. If you love the girl, and she is the first one to break relation, you will live with a scar of unrequited love forever. Be first to say no, prove that you can also say no.”
I’m glad I didn’t hire you to fill up Abigail Van Buren’s position in the News Tribune Biswo! Just imagine the decline in the readership when they’d come across such trifle advice! You could easily put me out of business ;-) admonishing the male species to act before thinking eh? what makes you think a person (girl/guy) will be in a better position in the matter of hearts when he or she decides to dump the partner first after seeing early symptoms of breakup? Perhaps your advice would suit those who tread on the superficial paths of the “heartland” without being serious about their relationships. But let’s say for a guy who’s genuinely in love with a girl, if he were to say g’bye even before his loved one said so, then he probably would be facing much more trauma perhaps wondering all the time, “well, what if I had confronted her and tried to sort things out would it have been any different? or what is it that I lack which is making her wither away or could it have been better if we had expressed clearly what we wanted from each other rather than ignoring the underlying problems that every relationship goes through which end up in tragic situations” anyways that was just a tiny drop in an ocean of thoughts. After all it’s safe to stay inside your house when a tornado is approaching rather than running outside only to be sucked up by the fierce wind, isn’t it? Then when the wind’s gone, one can slowly clear up the mess. So, my point is, if you love your girl genuinely, i.e from the core of your heart, and you know that she’s going to desert you, in a few days, weeks, or even months then instead of crushing your desire and relinquishing your pursuit of having her for the rest of your life, it is best to handle it with more maturity and understanding. In the end, even if the worst fear comes true, you still can walk on the streets without having that inferiority complex knowing that you tried your best but the best is gone for best perhaps is yet to come.
The following lines from uncle Bob might suffice my point.
I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 09-Aug-02 11:17 AM
Dilasha,
I think you are mistaking me as 'counsellor' to improve relation. I am 'counsellor' to
lessen your pain when split is 'inevitable' in relations. Ti dui kura pharak chha bhanera
bujhidinu paryo.
For example, let's suppose there is a girl I like. She hasn't written since couple
of weeks, won't return my phone calls.I am glum, I just finished my summer semester
and got no A.All the suddenly, I find she is hanging out with a guy, PhDing in MIT,
with bright future of either going to Harvard as Asst Professor or getting into Wall
Street with six digit salary. The boy also happens to come from millionaire's family.
What should I do? It is good for me to reach to conclusion soon that the world is
materialistic, calculating, and the split is inevitable.
Now, if I am the guy with top degree, good future etc. But I was snobbish. The
girl tried to amicably settle the issue in the past, but I did nothing but brushed
her aside. Now, she has started to date another guy. I understand that she
has been vindictive. A vindictive girl reaches to precipitious decision pretty soon.
She wants to teach me a lesson that she has several other alternatives.I try
a couple of times to normalize things, but can't. What should I do?
Rather than be lovelorn and glum and enter into an era of depression, I would
go ahead, blame myself for my past mistakes, and snap the chord that
used to bond the two people together. Remember, this thing is valid only
when you judge the split is 'inevitable' and you wanna lessen the pain.
|
| Desh_Bhakta_Bhattarai |
Posted
on 22-Aug-02 10:07 AM
Why love is blind?
author:Lover of love!!!!!
A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices wandered bored, not knowing what to do.
One day, they were all gathered and bored more than ever when Ingenious had an idea: Why don't we play hide and seek?
All of them liked the idea, and immediately the mad Madness shouted: I want to count, I want to count and since no one else was crazy about seeking Madness, Madness leaned on a tree and started to count, 1, 2, 3.
And as Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding.
Tenderness hung on the horn of the moon; Treason in a pile of garbage; Fondness curled up between the clouds; Lie said he would hide under a stone but he lied and hid at the bottom of the lake; Passion went to the center of the earth; Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking.
And Madness continued to count, 79,80, 81,82.
All the vices and virtues were already hidden by then, except for Love, whom as undecided as he is, did not know where to hide. And this should not surprise us because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.
And Madness was already at 95, 96,97.
And just at the moment when she arrived at hundred, Love jumped into a rosebush and there he hid out.
And Madness shouted "I'm coming! I'm coming!" and as she turned,the first one she saw was Laziness, thrown to her feet because he didn't have any energy to hide. Then she saw Tenderness in the horn of the Moon, and Lie at the bottom of the lake, and Passion in the center of the earth...
Discovering them one by one, finding all of them but one. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find the last missing one, until Envy, envious for not having been discovered, whispered to Madness:
"You are lacking Love, and he is hiding in the rosebush."
And Madness took a wooden pitchfork, and stabbed at the rosebush, and stabbed and stabbed, till a heartbreaking shout made her stop.
And, after the shout, Love came out covering his face with his hands, and from between his fingers run two threads of blood, out of his eyes. Madness anxious to find Love had taken out Love's eyes with the pitchfork.
"What have I done? What have I done?" she shouted, "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"
And Love answered, "You can't restore my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you could be my guide."
From that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.
_______________________________________________________________________
~Desh Bhakta Bhattarai
|
| Biruwa |
Posted
on 30-Sep-02 07:24 PM
gruesome story there! Is there any hope for love's eye-sight sort of like in those sci-fi movies?
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 30-Sep-02 09:04 PM
Bisowo ji....
From the girl's point of view:
She looked at him from beneath her demure eyes...her breath caught, sending her heart a flutter. she quickly lowered her eyes afraid that he could read what was written in them. Hadn't her mother said that her turquoise eyes were as translucent as the blue waters that flowed by the temple. Yet, again she looked up. She knew she was doomed! In her mind's eye, she reached out her long slim finger and touched his forhead, traced the rakish arch of his brow, down th bridge of his nose. Her finger faltered as it reached his lips. His lips were very sensual... a gentle smile hovered his mouth. His eyes were the darkest she had seen; burning embers of live coal that threatened to devour her in its intensity! Her fingers gently carried on and traced his jawline...she was startled at the bristles of the 5 o'clock shadow (?). Then she turned her hand and with the back of her fingers traced down his neck!!!!!!!!!
She shuddered at the intensity of her thoughts!!! It could not be!!! She could not have fallen in love with this stranger....How could she even harbour such thoughts at the temple...But she had been resigned to the fact that she was doomed....They said, "never love a stranger"... and she had not taken heed!!
She waited for him to call, visit, to atleast pass by the temple if not her house. Everyday, she would walk to the temple hoping against hope to see him there...perhaps even get a glimpse of him! but as days went by...she sank deeper into depression. She could not forget his face, smile, and the fleeting contact with his hand. Her health was wearing thin and her parents had started worrying about her. Her blue eyes were a stormy grey as they searched in mourning for that fleeting moment. Her feet lagged in their gait...as she waited for him to approach her family.
Then, one day, her friend came to her with the news that "he" had gone to America!!!!!!!!! He had not even bothered to say goodbye. In her despair she admitted to herself that perhaps it was only onesided. Bindhyabasini had played a trick on her very sanity.
Six months, later she still could not get him off her mind...but America was just another planet. To save her sanity....she agreed to marry a deemed "worthy" man. As she entered the marriage mandap in her bridal attire; she realized she had given to the stranger what she could never give to her groom....her heart!!!
Sorry Biswo ji...your story was so poignant and heartrending that I had to continue for the girl's sake!
|
| Nepe |
Posted
on 30-Sep-02 09:53 PM
Sitara, great to see you with the view from the other side. You might also want to give a look at Biswoji’s controversial formula to avoid the imminent pain.
|
| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 30-Sep-02 10:29 PM
Sitara, a very interesing twist. A tragedy then, right.
Biswo, I quite agree with NK. What has "smartness" got to do with matters of heart, lest you - and Paschim and Ashu - forget :) ????
On a different note, here's a time-tested mantra to you - and all bachelors. You may want to try this. "Tell her about it. Tell her everything you feel. Give her every reason to believe that you are for r-e-a-l. She gets to worrying that you haven't spoken for so long.... Listen boy, it's from a man who's made mistakes..."
--"Tell Her About It"/Innocent Man. Billy Joel.
Hey, to all music lovers, that's a great, great album, by the way. You may just want to listen together with your special one. Hmmmm.
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 30-Sep-02 10:47 PM
Sitaraji,
How I (hereafter replaced for 'my friend' for the sake of brevity
since I may have to use it frequently) wish at least this much
were true!
Never wanted her to suffer from any pain, yet how I wished
,wickedly, a lot of times that she at least felt a fraction of the
pang I so acutely felt for so long.
--
Posting in sajha is like a history building. I thought this thing
was buried in the past. But, hey from time to time, some
researchers go to the past, and unearth the past,and
subject some of its documentation to scrutiny.
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 01-Oct-02 06:08 AM
Biswo ji.
Romance is what you make of it....and so is tragedy!
M. Scott Peck said in his "Roadless Travelled", "LIFE is Difficult!"
The sooner we learn to transcend that, the easier it is to live life with grace and without regrets!!!!!!!
:) My 2 bit philosophy in!! ;)
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 01-Oct-02 08:32 PM
Sitaraji,
I enjoyed your philosophy every bit!
Even in the tragedy, however, romance lingers on. It takes very short
duration to resuscitate it. This is unfortunately true!
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 07:08 AM
Biswo ji,
Thank you.
VV ji;
I know and love the song!
Here is another one:
"Don't go changing to try and please me...you never let me down before"
How about this one:
"What's the matter with the tie I'm wearing....." :)
Hehe! Philosophies of life come in all forms of songs, poetry and prose!
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| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 08:11 AM
sitara, tks for the response.
To me, billy joel - now all this substance abuse problems !!! - was at his sponteneous best in Innocent Man. He pr'ly was going thru' a high back then - had recently (?) been married.
My favorites are both slow ones - "Leave a Tender Moment Alone" & "For the Longest Time." I still get goose bumps each time I hear them after some time. And sure, the fast-paced "Uptown Girl".
on a diff. note, i am just amazed at your level of energy - turbo-charged and all that. keep it up. you have burst into the scene and added, really, a breath of fresh air to the sajha gaf-gaaf.
Biswo, sorry about the digression from your "love" thread. But look at it this way - we aren't too far away from the topic ...:)
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 08:23 AM
"The Piano Man"!!!!!!!!! That's the one! The one that even those who lack someone to share it with can listen to--by sharing it with a glass of...whatever one's choice! I prefer Johnny Black...VV, I suppose the same for you!
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| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 08:51 AM
Poonte,
sure, you can listen to them alone, or with...
the beauty of good music, much like a good book, is that they have different things to offer to diff. people ... they are universal in scope ... we find in them something about ourselves ... never mind what the singer/writer set out to achieve, kaso :)
or else there wouldn't be so many interpretations of Shakespeare ...The Renaissance man probably wrote becuase he had too much time at his disposal. of course not everyone who wrote during the leisurely period was a genius, though...
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| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 09:01 AM
As for transcending romance and tragedy, what was that great line from perhaps the greatest English poet Keats: "Sweetest songs are those that are tell us of the saddest thoughts...(?)
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| Deep |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 09:13 AM
"Sweetest songs are those that are tell us of the saddest thoughts...(?)"
This reminded me of an English poet's expression "beauty springs from sorrow not from happiness and from desire not from fullfilment." (not verbatim).
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 09:56 AM
Deep & VV,
I have loads of things to do, and here, the two of you made me philosophical, ever increasing my yearning to open Sajha even in the midst of my professor-imposed, supposed-to-make-me-smart, need-25-hrs/day-to-finish readings!
Why do beauty and sweet songs have to generate from sorrow only? If that is the prevalent order, allow me to defy it! I refuse to see the glass half empty. I too sometimes love to indulge in sorrowful songs in order to relate to my own sorrows; but mostly I'd prefer to think of beauty as something that generates hope, a brighter look into the future...happiness is what drives us (or, me at least) forward!
Look at it carefully, THE GLASS IS HALF FULL!!!!
ta ra ra ra...dum...dum..ta ra ra ra ra...la la la...
Cheers to the Johnny Black :-)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 06:23 PM
VV ji,
Thank you! Mock not my energy sire, it may dissipate into cyber space!!! :)
As for Happiness stemming from Pain:
The "Deeper the grooves of my pain, the Greater the capacity to hold Joy!"
:)
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| Poonte |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 06:30 PM
hmmm...how about:
"Wider the scope of my joy, the greater the capacity to swallow pain"?
Still in defiance,
Poonte, da jolly gut fyallou :)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 07:01 PM
Poonte ji...
Depends on who you are scoping ni!!! :)
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 08:47 PM
To *paraphrase* the very first line of Leo Tolstoy's masterpiece, "Anna Karenina":
All happy lovers resemble each other. Each unhappy lover is unhappy in his own way.
I rest my case on love woes :)
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| 242 |
Posted
on 02-Oct-02 09:11 PM
My love I say love me
Is it love?
Love I do loveless me
But tell me how to love you!
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| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 12:08 AM
To the broken hearts (of unrequited love):
If you can't win the one you love, love the one you win. Easier said than done, I agree :)
Biswo, see what have we done to your "love" thread !!! But we are talking love.
Sitara, you do sound as romantic as you sound intelligent :)
Paschim, I knew you wouldn't keep away from the "love" thread for long !!! I agree with Count Talstoy. Why, have you been reading A.K. for solace, or inspiration?
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 02:00 AM
>Biswo, see what have we done to your "love" thread !!! But we are talking love.
VV, I don't mind, despite some people's perception of me being a
domineering force in controlling the contents of 'my' thread!
And isn't love like 'tomato'? It can be mixed with any topic.
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 04:19 AM
VV -- tyesto predictable chhu ra? Mero image ta irretrievably bigrya jasto chha bhanya! :)
I also invite the celebrated love gurus of this thread, Biswo and Sitara, to disect the pain :)
Okay -- why don't I go all the way then! On love woes, one of my favorite stanzas is from a fairly new song by Deep Shrestha. It's from his album "Dristi", and Rajendra Thapa is the lyricist.
Jheer ma uninu tyo euta kura
Peer ma uninu tyo arko kura
Nabhijne aankha kasko chha ra
Tara jharnu najharnu arkai kura
Someone asked me on Sajha long time ago how I have understood this. So, I repeat here that old interpretation of mine of this simultaneously melodious and therapeutic song -- an interpretation that has also withstood the vicissitudes of time fantastically, if I might add :)
Woes (of failed lovers) can be displayed in two ways -- overtly and covertly. Imagine a Jheer, a skewer, with those barbecued fish chunks displayed with pride in the little shops of Malekhu on the Prithivi Highway. The fish -- captured, killed, processed, sliced, cooked, and then woven on a skewer for display...a full cycle of pain of a living creature is there on demonstration for everyone's amusement and purchase. The buyer -- the world -- sees, but possibly doesn't care about the woe or the pain that this creature has gone through, now elegantly "woven" (uninu) on a skewer. That's the first line.
The agony that you engulf in your "peer" is of another kind. It's introverted. It's within you. It's covert. Only YOU feel the pain. It's not for display. It's not for sale. This is the second line, "peer ma uninu arkai kura"
But whether the pain is covert or overt, there's a universal way to express it: tears. All eyes moisten. Everyone has the ability to cry. That's "nabhijne aankha kasko chha ra?"
But like your decision to whether display your romantic woes for the world's amusement (for fun, as a satire, for therapy) or just keep it private, you can, too, partly decide whether to let those tears run or not to express your grief. It's *partly* your decision, because sometimes, tears may come -- and your eyes may moisten -- but they may not *run*. That's when your grief is deep, numbing, devastating. That's the fourth line - "jharnu najharnu arkai kura."
I rest my case on love woes for the second time in one day :)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 04:41 AM
Paschim ji,
Nice insight!!!!
And then there are those...
Who've loved the most,
lost the the barb,
but yet host the pain.
But there are few
who've lost the most
Said Adieu
To ALL the pain!!!!!!
:)
VVji,
Thank you for your compliments....you have been too generous! :)
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| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:41 AM
Biswo wrote:
###And isn't love like 'tomato'? It can be mixed with any topic.###
LOL. Or alu for that matter - though alu has a stronger personality than tomato !!! That's the funniest thing I have heard from you !!!
Paschim, is it that bad, really ??? Or are you bewitched by the charms of the East?Saigon ???? Hmmmm. Hey, you still owe me a detailed story on the Great Railway Bazaar (Re: the Naipaul thread).
You *are* a Guru of Love yourself. Hey, isn't that the title of Samrat's new book? Maybe, he has something to offer there.
I can feel your pain, though. But as I said (taking cue from none other than Keats), savor the moment so long as it lasts. :)))
Sitara, my pleasure, m'am. I am only giving your our dues. :::)) Poetry comes so naturally to you.
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| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:49 AM
sitara:
Pls read: "I am only giving you your dues."
Thought I would be better off correcting right away...A bit in awe of your razarsharp tongue/mind!!!
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 10:29 AM
VV ji...
Well, I must say:
Do I really wield a razor?
Am I really sharp?
May I, just kill you with laughter?
and Woo you with my Harp?????
;)
Disclaimer: a rhetoric...not a proposition! :)
Don't want VV ji to take flight like "Paranoid Paschimji"....!!! :) The gentleman did protest ALOUD and Looong! :)
"Touche" Paschim ji!!! :P
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 08:56 PM
Ha Ha!! La, hera, hera…bhanna payo bhandai ma!! Old school of charm yehi ho Sitara?! Je hos, hajoor ko jo aagya...I can only stand in awe, but silent :)
VV -- as they say in Sanskrit: "maunam swikriti bhabati" :)
Silence is the best medicine (at times)!
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 08:59 PM
Pashim ,
tyo " Maunam Swikriti Bhabati" hoina .
" Maunam Swikriti lacchynam" ho.
Tapai jast bidwan lai yesto kura thaha bhayekoramro tar suddha chahi.
janne bhako hoina ni pheri.
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:05 PM
Paschim ji....
He he he!....!!!
hmmmmmmmmm ....what were you saying my gentle sire? I am a little hard of hearing even if your silence in deafening!!! :P
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:08 PM
It is better if I write it in devnagari, so here it is,
df}g++ :jLs[lt nIf0f+ ..
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:12 PM
Class 6 ko tutya futya Sanskrit, polera khai sakiyo yaar! Plus, budho hundai chhu, ke ko bidwan hunu :)
In any case, many know what I'm trying to say. Angrezi ma bhannu parda, "silence indicates acquiescence" ho kyare, hoina?
Thank you Dhumbasse -- like your wits!
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| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:18 PM
Thank you paschim,
Tapaile aaa garda alankar bujhchan sabaile , aba tyeti jabo nabujhine ta kaha hora, tara ali khallo lagyo, tyesaile.
Kavi Dharanidhar Koirala, khub bhanne garnu hunthyo, " Kura garirahe dher huncha, bashi rahe ber huncha"
ma aba yeta bata bahira lagihale pheri.
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:19 PM
Paschim ji...
An admission or confession of Wisdom or age????????
;)
Silence is golden!....when accompanied by intellectual motivation/s!
;)
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| Paschim |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:25 PM
Sitara,
:)
-------
Just practicing what I'm preaching for today -- but DAMN! I just spoke *30* words including all this just to say I'm silent. A smile is not silence though :)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 09:42 PM
Paschim Ji
Jyaaaaaaaaaan diyera.... :P !!!!!!
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| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 03-Oct-02 10:55 PM
##Disclaimer: a rhetoric...not a proposition! :) #
haha. don't worry, sitara, ma ali thick skin nai chhu :::)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 04-Oct-02 06:57 AM
VV ji...
Thank you kindly, sire. Just wanted to err on the side of safety (as usual)!
:)
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| VillageVoice |
Posted
on 04-Oct-02 10:27 PM
Rest assured, sitara, you are safe :)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 04-Oct-02 10:32 PM
Hmmmmmmmmmm
Should I or shouldn't I take that as a compliment?
:S
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