| Username |
Post |
| jira |
Posted
on 20-Aug-02 03:51 PM
"My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands"
Teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Johnny replies, "Don't fu..ck with uncle Ted when he's been drinking"
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| psychodreamer |
Posted
on 20-Aug-02 04:12 PM
made me laugh...great joke
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| jira |
Posted
on 20-Aug-02 04:25 PM
Johnny and his father were walking through the park. Johnny suddenly killed a bee. Johnny's father said "son since you killed that bee you shall not get any honey for a year" Him and Johnny started walking again then Johnny killed a butterfly. Johnny's father said to him "son since you killed that butterfly you shall not get and butter for a year" When Johnny and his father got home Johnny's mother had dinner on the table waiting for them. They all sat down and Johnny's mother saw a cockroach on the floor. She picked up her shoe and killed it. Johnny said " dad should I tell her??.......
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| fRank |
Posted
on 20-Aug-02 04:41 PM
haha Since you killed a cockroach , you will not get to suck cock for a year.
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| Keti@DC |
Posted
on 21-Aug-02 02:52 PM
Jira,
LOL I liked the one about the mother killin to cockroach! made me laugh!
thanx....it was funny
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| DHYANGRE |
Posted
on 21-Aug-02 04:22 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH................................AHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
GOOD JOB JIRA. I LIKED BOTH OF THEM .NOW THIS IS CALLE DCHANGE ANS I KNOW I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU WHEN SAJHA STARTS GETTING DULL BECAUSE OF "PATTAIN LAGNE GANTAHNHARU".
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| jira |
Posted
on 23-Aug-02 03:41 PM
In a second grade class, Susie asks, "Teacher, can my Mommy get pregnant?"
"How old is your mother, dear?" asks the teacher.
"Forty."
"Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant."
The little girl then asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?"
"Well, dear, how old is your sister?"
Susie answers, "Nineteen."
"Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant."
The little girl then asks, "Can I get pregnant?"
"How old are you, dear?"
Susie answers, "I'm seven years old."
"No, dear, you can't get pregnant..."
Then, Little Johnny behind Susie gives her a poke and says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny goes on his first date. "How did it go?" his mom asked. "Great. I gave her an Australian kiss goodnight."
"What's an Australian kiss?"
"It's like a French kiss, but down under."
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| Pauna |
Posted
on 24-Aug-02 02:37 PM
Jira,
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAH,
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| jira |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 01:49 PM
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own business!"
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| deep |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 01:55 PM
Jira,
what's going on? I am noticing you are embarking into a different territory? Bhauju maita janu bha chha ki ke ho? ;)
Funny ones!!!!!
I have dedicated "boli lyako kura" thread to you. I couldn't forget how you remembered me in gaijatra!
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| jira |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 01:59 PM
bhauju (if exists) maita jana lai ta bhauju ko ba John hunu paryo nee ta !!
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| Mitra 2 |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 03:40 PM
Jira, Since you're posting jokes, here is one from my old mailbox. Not of Little Johny's though!
----------
Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.
You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the
time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"
"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When
you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take
laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and
nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst
age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-
old.
"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee
like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"Do you have trouble crapping?" "No, I crap every
morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me
get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and
crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about
being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00."
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| jira |
Posted
on 27-Aug-02 12:23 PM
Little Johnny was walking down the road swearing his head off, "fu..ck this, fu...ck that",
when he met a priest. The priest said, "Little Johnny, you shouldn't be swearing like
that;God will hear you. God is everywhere".
Little Johnny asked, "God is everywhere?" The priest replied, "Yes, God is everywhere."
Little Johnny asked, "Is God behind that telephone pole?" The priest replied, "Yes, God
is behind that telephone pole;God is everywhere."
Little Johnny asked, "Is God behind that truck?" The priest replied, "Yes, God is behind
that truck;God is everywhere."
Little Johnny asked, "Is God in my uncle Harry's basement?" The priest replied, "Yes,
God is in your uncle Harry's basement;God is everywhere."
Little Johnny yelled, "You fuc..kin' liar, my uncle Harry doesn't have a basement!!"
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| Nepe |
Posted
on 28-Aug-02 04:54 PM
Fuc..kin' liar priest ! The best joke I ever heard. Why ? Because I was reading about the mathematical paradox of Omnipotence and Omnipresence just a while ago. How enjoyable those articles would have been, had they this joke !
Great jira !
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| Pauna |
Posted
on 28-Aug-02 11:35 PM
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is.
No one raises their hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good Sally," the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands. "See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?"
Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies.
Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students holds up their hand. "See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses.
"Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father."
Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."
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| jira |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 04:04 PM
An 80-year-old couple was worried because they kept forgetting things all the time. The doctor assured them there was nothing seriously wrong except old age, and suggested they carry a notebook and write things down so they wouldn't forget. Several days later the old man got up to go to the kitchen. His wife said, "Dear, get me a bowl of ice cream while you're up."
"Okay." he said. "...and put some chocolate syrup on it and a few cherries on it, too." She added. "You'd better write all this down."
"I won't forget." He said. Twenty minutes later he came back into the room and handed her a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon.
She glared at him. "Now, I told you to write it down! I knew you'd forget." "What did I forget?" He asked.
She replied, "My toast!"
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| jira |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 04:17 PM
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test".
Second one asked,"So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying.
The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
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| Pauna |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 09:32 PM
"I HAVE COME FOR MY URINE TEST.............................
HAHASHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
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| jira |
Posted
on 05-Sep-02 03:00 PM
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed
the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds
for all male students, and the male dormitory to
the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined
$20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught
breaking this rule the second time will be fined
$60. Being caught a third time will cost you a
fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd
inquired: "How much for a season pass?"
|
| deep |
Posted
on 05-Sep-02 03:15 PM
Q: Where do one-legged people eat?
A: IHOP
What did the nut say to the bolt?
Screw me!
(jokes.com)
|
| p ditty |
Posted
on 06-Sep-02 01:49 PM
since the comedy is based on the tradegy...
nepal was a country
nepal is no more
for what it thought was kabardi
was really civil war
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| jira |
Posted
on 06-Sep-02 02:24 PM
Why do they have so much trouble with the phone systems in China?
Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs that someone's always Winging the Wong number.
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| jira |
Posted
on 06-Sep-02 02:27 PM
What did the Egyptian man say to the Egyptian woman?
"Come behind the pyramid, and I'll make you a mummy!"
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| jira |
Posted
on 18-Sep-02 12:15 PM
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Santa, What a car! Where did you get it from ?
Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful
lady came in this car and asked me - "want a ride Mr. Singh ?"
I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me
"Mr Singh. take anything"
Banta is quite excited and asks "What did you do Santa?"
Santa: I took the car.
Banta: good show - you wouldn't have fit into her clothes!
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| jira |
Posted
on 18-Sep-02 12:26 PM
One day Little Johnny's girlfriend wrote to him to say their friendship was off and could she have her photograph back?
Little Johnny sent her a pile of pictures of different girls with the message: I can't remember what you look like. Could you please take out your photo and return the rest.
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