| Username |
Post |
| paramendra |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 07:51 PM
Octopus Love
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand....
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| Logical Sense |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 07:58 PM
How does a Nepali snake says 'OK'?
Hashshshshshshsh!
(not joking, but came straight from my four year old after visiting Nepal for three months)
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| re: |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 07:58 PM
Man oh man...Paramendra daju has no sense of humor. Hare Shiva! If that's the best you can come up with, you are incorrigible!
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 08:15 PM
"So where was his humor, when he needed it most?" said one Thread to Another.
"Search me....couldn't find it. The light was too dim!!!" Said the other!!!
Sorry it is kinda local...hai???
Paramendra ji, I hope you can laugh at this one!!!! :)
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| czar |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 08:44 PM
Said one Arab to another:
"I shall do unspeakables to your unmentionables" :)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 08:47 PM
Damn it CZAR, why do you follow me around?????? ;)
We look like a two-man posse!!! :(
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| czar |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 08:54 PM
Pheremones, darlin, pheremones.
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| czar |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 08:57 PM
There was a lady called starkie
Who had a night out with a darkie
The result of her sins was a quad, not twins
One black, one white and two Khaki
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| euta thita |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 09:08 PM
Son muchachos locos.
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| paramendra |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 09:32 PM
:-)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 09:34 PM
CZAR;
That is quite enough!!! Stop playing the devil's advocate!!!!....I can spot a "bad, naughty kid" anyday! Some of us are susceptible to literal translations and/or verbal baiting! :)
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| SITARA |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 09:41 PM
Hehehe!
Paramendra ji...you passed your own thread test! ;)
nice smile....sincerely!
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| paramendra |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 09:44 PM
What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan?
Osama bin Latte
Did you know they are taking out all the K-Marts in Afghanistan?
They are putting in TARGETS!!!
Osama bin Laden threatened Russia:
If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!
"My answer to "What to do with Bin Laden?"
Well, this sounds good to me. It would be true poetic justice:
Killing him will only create a martyr.
Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release.
Therefore, I suggest we do neither.
Let the Secret Service, Navy Seals, or whomever
covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital,
and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation.
Then we return "her" to Afghanistan
to live as a woman under the Taliban."
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| czar |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 09:49 PM
Yes maam, how high maam ?
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| surya |
Posted
on 26-Aug-02 10:42 PM
Harsh!
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| paramendra |
Posted
on 27-Aug-02 09:53 AM
10 Things Men Won't Say
Let's watch Lifetime!
Sex is overrated.
I don't want to go too far on the first date.
Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
My hips are too big.
Aw, can't we watch Oprah?
Does this suit make me look fat?
I'll never get tired listening to Celine Dion.
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| Keti@DC |
Posted
on 28-Aug-02 05:00 PM
LOL Czar
that one abt the lady Starkie was funny =)
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| deep |
Posted
on 28-Aug-02 07:09 PM
Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston
Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.
Bumper stickers
I love animals, they taste great.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
Adults are just kids who owe money.
Real advertisements
Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
Signs and notices
Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."
Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: "Rest Area Next Right" - the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery.
-Aha! Jokes.
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| paramendra |
Posted
on 28-Aug-02 07:25 PM
Actual School Excuse Notes
These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:
1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.
16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
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| JOKER |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 03:00 PM
Three men were at the FBI Building for a job interview. The first man walked into the office. The interviewing FBI agent said, “ To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and able to give us all you have. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.” The man took the gun, hesitated and said “Sorry, I can’t do it.”
The second interviewee came into the office. The agent said, “ To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and able to give us all you have. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.” The man took the gun, walked into the next room, and then walked out. “Sorry,” he said.
The last man came into the room. The agent said, “ To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and able to give us all you have. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.” The man took the gun, went into the room. The agent heard 6 shots, silence, then a lot of screaming.
The man came out of the room and said “Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with curtain railing!”
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| sally |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 03:09 PM
ENGINEERING TRANSLATIONS
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter:
Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup:
Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash:
1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:
1 bananosecond.
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling:
1 lite year
Half of a large intestine:
1 semicolon
1000 aches:
1 kilohurtz
10 cards:
1 decacards
Basic unit of laryngitis:
1 hoarsepower
1 millionth of a fish:
1 microfiche
3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University
Hospital:
1 I.V. League
Shortest distance between two jokes:
A straight line.
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