| Username |
Post |
| deep |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 09:03 AM
ALONE
Oooo pari tyo Aankhibhui, yata kyawa khola ra tyo leguwa khola bicha Arun pari Chanuwa, oota oota Marek Katahare, tyo Leguwa ghat…tyo mangmaye kholo…Maildidi was introducing me to the some northern, northeastern, and northwestern territories. I was standing on an aagan of my new temporary house near taksar bazaar, Bhojpur. I kept gazing at blue Arun river winding down below. Jarayo taar, Maildidi spoke again, pointing her sand paper looking rough index finger at a Ratmate area below.
I came to this village as a volunteer project coordinator for a project a foreign nonprofit organization was undertaking. This part of the kingdom was relatively new to me. I was grown up in Kathmandu. I grew up more with patis, jatras, temples, towns, motor cars, boarding schools, aas paas, khari kasa, tel kasa, hwakryang, cinemas, chataks..etc. than with dhami jharkris, ranko, aagena, tanki, uniu, koiralo, titri tree, khaniu, bar (fruit and tree), pangra tree, kattus tree, bayar, aaiselu, pittu, paper and thangna balls, dandi biyo (sitera khelne), firfire, murali/basuri (making), bastu charune, bethi laune, dande chalaune, banmara, simali…etc.
I was staying with a Dahal family. The family had Dahal Baje, his wife Bajai, and Maildidi. Maildidi was an abandoned wife. Dahal baje’s only son Punya was married to her some twenty years ago. Maildidi couldn’t produce any child. Dahalnibajai was increasingly growing impatient with Maildidi. Punya also was losing interest in her even though she was trying her best to keep everyone happy. Maildidi is now only 38 years old but looks much older than that.
Punya left home leaving his wife, Maildidi, behind for Madhes fifteen years ago after Tulasi, his second wife died courtesy of a “thum-dada masan” according to the Chandraman dhami. There in madhes near Baigundhura he settled and was married with another woman, his third wife Nirmala. After many pooja-aaja, brat, tirtha-tan Punya was still heirless. He used to visit his parents only around Dashain to collect khasi, ghiu, and other good stuff. In the beginning, maildidi used to be excited and quite happy when her husband was around even just for few days. Later she gradually started to feel indifferent whether Punya was around or not.
Maildidi’s life was hard. Very hard. She used to wake up around 4 o clock in the morning then would go with gagris to fetch water. Her life revolved around gharko lipa pot, aago jorne, khole pakaune, khana banune, khwaune, dhanna garne, gai bastu charauna jane, ghas katne, belukako khana banaune, dhanna garne, jato chalaune, ani sutna jane for few hours. I rarely heard any appreciation from Dahal baja, bajai for her hard work. However, they rarely used to miss any opportunity to scold her. Maildidi was like a machine, like an animal. I used to feel so sad to see her living her life that way. It was extremely painful for someone to watch ek bar ko juni passing by in such a poor way.
One day, Tekanath, a young teacher from a near school nearby, came to meet me. He was a man of interest. Had his I.Sc. from Dharan and returned back to his village for a easy job for the time being. He said he wanted to go back to continue his education in kathmandu and from there some dau parera he wanted to go to bidesh. “Thuprai gairan America tira…ma pani janchhu ekdin”. He told me. Malai pani milaidina paryo America jana. He added. I just looked at him and smiled. I knew that’s why he was there to see me. He wanted me to arrange “something” so he also could come to the US. Nevertheless, he was very energetic and talkative guy. We talked about many different things, socio-economic, culture, religion, local customs..etc.
Few days later as I was sitting on a tikhe dhungo enjoying mild breeze and was watching winding Arun river flowing below, I heard Teknath calling me. I looked back….
[to be continued….]
|
| Ebony_firefly |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 11:18 AM
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
hylu deep bro:)
|
| bideshi |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 11:26 AM
Seems interesting!When r u going to complete ur story?
|
| oys_chill |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 11:31 AM
Nakkali kanchi ko sarai ramro lajaune baani
hami ma theeta haroo ko naramro jiskaune baani,(deep dai ko chai ma mu ;)
yesai ta kanchi ramri, nalagau jhumke baluki
|
| oys_chill |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 11:32 AM
oops sorry, yo po yaha ta ;)
hareey, deep dai...
complete garna parcha ni..laamo bhayera k bho ta? hami chau ni padna ;) mero pani ta huncha ni laamo
actually deep dai, i was really really interested in this one..cause bhojpur is my mamaghar ...though i haven't been there.....i have heard my mom, grandmom talk so much bout arun river and all the tantriks that practice black magic too out there..so was really interested....well, ma pani arko gaun ko story lekhdai thiee..good that u gave me insight of my mamaghar too ;) well, by the way taskar bajaar kata neera cha?near dingla? ani tyo airport k re? tumlingtar ho? ..i wish someday i will go there and enjoy arun khola like you, for now, jus have memories of sunkoshi ;)
ALone, u r not ;)
oys
|
| Ebony_firefly |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 11:50 AM
deep bro! wake up!
man complete this...toilet mai nidauneey! k ho ?
a complimenting song for oys song..
JHAMKEEY FULI ,NAKAI MA BULAKI YESPALI TA GHARBARRA HOLAKI?
LOLS...@LOL
BLAC_
|
| Ebony_firefly |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 12:01 PM
hey deep !wake up...man ...sleeping in the toilet?
a complimenting song for oys one.
jhamkeey fhuli nakai ma bulaki..
yes pali ta gharbaara holaki
blac_
|
| Sangey |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 12:07 PM
Bhayena Deep-ji, yo hundai bhayena. Beechma pugera "to be continued" garda kalejo chireko justo bho. Nepal ma hunda dharabahik hereko justo. Chitto chitto pura katha post garnu hola. Dhanyabaad.
|
| jira |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 12:30 PM
ke ho sathee! jatra bolayera rameeta herdinee. bhayena nee wo....ki "Ranga ko masu ko" rees pherya? Panee ko abhab bhayeko belama ke dharabaheek banai bho ra. Huncha huncha lammai lekhey nee huncha ...pudhnee hami chundai chum kyarey...
Rama..ram.. ma ta KTM ko gu...jeenduge ma 1 chotee thaankcoat kutya,,,taipunee I lke to read the use of typical nepali words especially in gaun ghur ko aspect ma...Hunn.."Herda ran" ta katho ramrai dekhinchun nee ta kyarey, kina rokya ho nee kunni
I suddenly remember this incident about this guy who had just given his SLC , he was a tenant in one of my friend house rey... Tyo phagoon ko zado ma bhagutey gudya dekhney bittikai mathee aii halney rey. His kaka from his gaam used to stay near by his tole. Every now and then, Kaaka used to take some chaso on his so called bhateej. Then one day, kaka asked him..."babu timley nee ta jaanch dya thyow kya rey nee. haina result hunee bela bhayena ra?"
"Mera result ta angreji ka deenai bhai go nee kaka" , he emotionally replied rey....
|
| suna |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 12:45 PM
Nametho jhundaidiyo ta Deep ley hamilai.
MORE MORE...
|
| deep |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 01:21 PM
...I looked back at Teknath. He brought a very interesting proposal to me. He asked if I want to go to Agulte hat by the bank of Arun River. I said yes.
We got to the hat and it was crowded. Stalls all over the place and people of all ages were there. We started to wander around. It seemed to me that Teknath was speaking with almost every one there. My eyes stuck at a figure. She was amazingly beautiful. Obviously, no make up. She was liberally blessed by the nature and was glowing in a red background butte fariya, and a ratai cholo then. She was trying to buy a dhago for kapal or some chura, I guess. There were a couple of more girls with her. I didn’t want to shift my eyes. Teknath saw me in that position. He grabbed my hand and took me to that lady. Indu, ko sanga aaki? He asked her. “Aamai, Teknathdai, Namaste….hami yi kalpana, sabita, radha sangai aaka.” “timiharu mat.tai”? Teknath asked again. “Haina, thuldai pani aai ran..” she looked around to see her thuldai but could not spot him. “Yatai hundi chhan”, she said. While she was speaking with Teknath I was briefly going thru her vast yet intricate beauty. She looked at me and smiled. Her heavenly muskan took me
straight to my dream land. “Deepji, America bata aaunu bha. Hamro dahal baje kaha basnu bha chha, achel. Project lyaune re, hamro gauma:, Teknath introduced me to her. She did a namaste to me then quickly turned away her eyes, looked back again at me with another muskan then she moved on with her friends. On and off, Indu ra mera aankha ladi nai rahe.
Raat bhari din bhari Indu nai Indu, afulai ta tyaspachhi. I used to sit on that tikhe dhungo in my free time and throw my eyes at mulgau. Since she was not going to school or college, I used to see her doing something all the time from my inner eyes. If I am on the tikhe dhungo in the morning I used to see her bringing water home. If it was daytime, I used to see her sitting by a tree and watching bastus. In the evening I used to see her doing ghar dhandha. At night I used to see her lying beside me and her rato butte fariya and cholo on the bed floor. I saw her in my dreams, number of times.
Yati chokho yati mitho diula timlai maya, birsane chhan sara le purana prem ka katha….Yeah, this song was saying what was in my mind.
Teknath regularly used to visit me. He also noticed that I am flowing in love river and if not rescued in time I am gonna drown and drown for good. He asked many times what I want. I knew I want Indu but “how” and “why” were still vague to me. I was not quite sure why I want her? I even thought marrying her but then I was not ready for that. I was not into some kind of bhangeri love either. I guess I was in love but was not sure what that love was for.
One day, I explained what goes on in my mind to Teknath. He quickly said, let’s goto Mulgau. I know her family. I just looked at him. “I am not yet ready to marry her”, I said. “Who is asking you to marry her?”, Teknath smiled. We will just go there casually. We will tell them we are visiting places. I couldn’t believe what I was going to do.
We came down to Leguwa ghat. Crossed Arun ko jhulunge pool. Walked through Beltar and dadakharka then headed towards Mulgau. I was excited and worried at the same time. Most of the time we were talking about her on our way. We reached her house, finally. It was not a big house. Dahal bajeko bhanda ni sano. A kamero le poteko white house with raato peti. Few animals in goth. It was almost evening time when we reached there. Indu’s brother Surya was sitting on a muda on his aagan.. He couldn’t believe his eyes. We were there right in front of him. “Oho, teknath! Kata bata hau aaja?” He offered mudas to us. We exchanged greetings. Teknath and I received a warm welcome. “kya ho ye Tekanath?” Indu’s father also called on him from goth. I was searching for my heart. Eventhough, it was bouncing like a khahare ko bhel but the origination of every beat, every drop was Indu and Indu alone. Thapa ba also came around and we started to talk. “Deepji lai gaun ghar dekhaudai hineko ni hau kanchha ba”, Teknath looked at Indu’s father and said. I was not interested in anything else but one thing. Where is Indu? Just then tagaro kholdai some one came in. Couldn’t see who it was under that ghas ko load but heart took off for NASCAR. Is it Indu?...kramasha:..
|
| SOULFREE |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 01:44 PM
thukka!! kya interruption..... dude_interrupted. Do something.. bhayenani deep bro!!
|
| psychodreamer |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 02:09 PM
i hope kramasha will not take long...i had fun reading your katha of Indu( namai kasto ramro)..
|
| Sangey |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 03:37 PM
deep le garnu garyo... sakiyena. Pranaam mahodaya!!
|
| deep's #1 fan |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 05:02 PM
well written. I hope the remaining part will be coming soon.
|
| oys_chill |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 05:38 PM
# 1 fan pani hamro deep dai ko..this is irresisitble..
lekhnu paryo deep dai...ani mathi ko message ko answer haroo pani kripaya dinu huncha ki :P
kramasa ko asha ma.....betod le intezaar!!
#2 fan oys ;)
|
| Bhenda |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 05:45 PM
Very interesting Deep Ji!! keep up your good work.
|
| correction |
Posted
on 29-Aug-02 11:07 PM
SOURLFREE, wrong choice of words. Keeping with tradition of Deep, you should have said: "Thukka mu** !! ... kya jhwak-jhwak garira ..." :)
|
| .... |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 04:29 AM
Deep jee,
Ardhabiram pani purnabiram jatti nai lamo ta hunu bhayena ni.
Katha ma purnata chandai paune aash ma,
uhi bhojpure.
|
| ebony_firefly |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 05:49 AM
NICE ONE DEEP BRO...
IF ZERO COMES BEFORE ONE THEN I AM NO#O FAN OF DEEP :p
KEEP'EM COMING!
BLAC_
|
| SOULFREE |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 07:43 AM
Blac_dude, Are you trying to say i am #-1 fan? My physics teacher told me its colder in -1 degree than 0 degree.
CORRECTION...hya mu** correction, pahilai mu** bhannu pardaina? ;-)
|
| deep |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 08:31 AM
Is it Indu? Nope! It was someone else. “bhauju, Namaskar! Aaramai?” Teknath asked. Shyly, she replied his namaskar and went to goth to put down her ghas load. I was disappointed. “Ye ko chha bhitra, mohi lyao lyao yaha pauna lai”, Thapa ba hauled. I saw bhauji going inside. Where is Indu? Is she not here? Is she gone somewhere? What a disaster if she is not here? I was just letting my sight flow in tangent. What a pity! Indu ko aangan ma ubhitera pani I have to imagine her. This is not fair. Absolutely not. “Pahila Deepjilai, mwai deu Indu” , goosebumps blanketed my body and I felt redness took over my face. On my right side just about two feet away I saw Indu offering me mohi with her coyly stretched hand not mwai with her rising sun looking vibrant lips.
Ok, I got what was I looking for. Thapa ba, Surya dai, Teknath, and myself with my Indu were facing towards Jimi gaun and except me and Indu everyone was talking. She went inside after offeing mohi to everyone. Obviously, I was following her being conscious with the sorrounding though. She went inside without looking at me. What? I couldn’t believe but before I could feel further sadness, she came out thru jaskela and gave me a smile. YES. Outside we talked on many other things, like my project, hardships in the villages, who got married recently, who died, who moved away. Who is good who is bad, kun bhaisi duhuno chha, kun tharo, which cow is pregnant and now a days who owns a rango, so on and so forth. Occasionally, we also talked about local and national politics. I found out that Indu’s mother is ill, in fact they told me she is sick 8 months a years. The healthpost nearby gives the same medicine for every sickness and dhami keeps changing his stories. I felt bad for her. It was Indu and her bhauju who were running the inside house. I also knew that Indu’s maildaju does not live in that house. Surya brought me a lota full of water and said, “khana tayar bho”. Went inside. The kitchen looked pretty dark to me. A kupi was trying its best to fight off the darkness. However, it was a pretty good setting for me. I could keep watching Indu without being too obvious. Patak patak garera ankha ladi nai rahe.
Well, Teknath and I took over veranda khats for the night. Teknath caughed. I understood his question. I spoke, “Ramailo bhayo” and caughed to reinforce what said then smiled. It was a juneli raat and the quiet moonlit night was even more provocating. Just a thought of Indu being somewhere close by in that house gave me goosebumps.
I heard jaato running around four o clock. Poor Indu, working hard I thought. After that I couldn’t go back to sleep. Spent time with Indu in utopia. In the morning after datiwan Indu offered dudh.- steel ko gilas ma. I thanked god many timed for those priceless moments. Bhat khaisake pachhi, we were getting ready to leave and I started to feel down. Teknath told me we are leave with Indu. He smiled. I didn’t get the point quite well. How are we gonna leave with Indu? Surya dai and Thapa ba sanga aru ek chhin kura garera bida magiyo. Bidai bhal kusari bhaye. Gai bastu fukayera Indu was also getting ready to leave. So, we left the place together in her pace. I understood now what Teknath meant.
“Kasto lagyo ta hamro gau?” She asked as we were walking down together.
Ramro. You know, I keep looking at your village from tikhedhungo in our gaun.
“Kina?” She asked.
Kina ta I knew but was not sure if I should tell her then. I just looked at her. With smile she asked again. What do you see here from your tikhe dhungo?
“You”, I answered without thinking much.
[Baki Antima bhag ma]
Oys_ Chill, I will answer your question once I am done with this story. Hai?
|
| Mitra 2 |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 12:16 PM
Deep,
Nearly after a decade in the US, I'm home sick today after reading your real (?) story. Your story brought so many memories back. I feel like I'm in my dream. You are talking about my ghar (ankhibhuin) and my mama-ghar (mulgaun). I'm trying hard to fugure out who this Indu Thapa is, if the given names are real. I pretty much know everyone in that gaun. Did you visit Rudra sir in Jimi gaun? I would like to hear more about your experiences and the time frame you spent there. I was there in Dec. '99. It has not been changed much. Did you make to Tumlingtar (manakaman -- remember the song 'WARI JAMUNA PARI JAMUNA), Khandbari, Chainpur, Dingla bajar, and all? Hope to hear from you more about that region. You ROCK man, not to mention the way you present your stories.
|
| Bhenda |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 01:21 PM
So, what about the antim bhag???
|
| Nepe |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 01:24 PM
Friends, I have learned one or two life saving tips, specifically how to avoid pain, from our very Sajha forum. (No not from Gautam Buddha, the drained brain ! Oys, trring trring !). Some are applicable to me some are not. One example of the latter category is that famous one from Biswoji- If your girlfriend is going to dump you, dump her before she does.
I discovered another such pain-avoiding tips from this thread of Deep. It is- Don't start reading dharabahik katha before the writer finish it. (Look at the chhatpati of Oys, Ebony, Suna, Soul, Psycho, Sangey, Bheda !). Me ? I am fine. I haven't read the story yet. Perhaps in the weekend.
Sajha is great.
|
| deep |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 02:31 PM
She looked at my eyes and laughed. Euta unmukta haso. “Dekhinchha kam napara tyaha bata malai”, She said. Ke durbin le herne? She asked.
“Durbinle haina, man le”, I was trying to make my point across.
I looked at Teknath who was walking ahead of us and was waiting for us to meet him 2/4 wata kanla tala. Indu did not say anything. I was not sure what she thought. From a corner of my eyes I tried to read her face. I thought a shy smile briefly appeared and moved away. “timilai yasti ramri kasle banayo?”, I asked a stupid question.
“Ooos”, she said and smiled again. Her smiles were driving me crazy. She was wearing bright red fariya with big flower looking prints. A ghurmailo patuka. Red cholo suppressing provocating youthness, and ratai dhago “Malai ta timi asadhe ramri lagchha”, I told her with pounding heart. “Maile ke garnu ta?”, she spoke with another unmukta laugh. “Timilai bihe garne manchhe ta bhagyamani hunchha”, I kept working on my agenda. “Bhagyamani ta tapai sanga bihe garne keti po hunchhe ta, America jana pauchhe..”, she said with a muskan. Now, she was not so shy in talking with me. “Hami duijana nai bhagyamani huna ke ta bihe garne ta’? I looked at her and said with a shaky smile. She gave a deep look at my face. “ye Indu, la yo tare lai pani laija . Aaja. Jaan sakchha yo pani”, Surya dai shouted from his aangan. “Ko tare?” I asked. She gave me a lost look and said “goru” then turned around and walked up towards home to get Tare. I stood there for a minute on my own looking at her. As she left her pasina ko basna was much much sweeter that chanel no 5. On her way up and around she also looked back twice than a disappeared.
Teknath and I walked down. I was still occasionally looking back. We were talking about her, of course. “I really really liked her”, I told him. “So, what you want to do?” He asked. I didn’t answer. She is looking at you, Teknath said. I looked back and there she was, a red figure, by a tanki tree. I thought of waving at her then decided not to but then again I did wave at her any way. She also waved. “Aba dukha paune melo garnu bho hai Deep sir”, Teknath spoke. He was right. I was already dukhi.
Taaaala, aayera herda pani Indu was still standing on bar dada and looking at us. On our way back I used to look at every white kamero le poteko ghar hoping Indu might come out with a smile. I knew it was crazy. Damar ma aayera chiya khaiyo najikai bagdai gareko Arun lai herdai. Bhari man liyera came back to Dahalbaje ko ghar.
Now, more than ever I used to spend time on tikhe dhunga looking at Indu’s village. May be I could see her, I thought, if I could get one of those star gazers. There were no discovery stores around to buy one of those. It would have been so much fun if I could get one of those telescopes.
One evening Teknath came over. After talking this and that he gave a supari to me. “I don’t like supari”, I said. “Doesn’t matter”, he responded. “This is an invitation”, he added. I was just watching him. He broke a bad news to me. “Indu is getting married with a guy in khadbari”, he said. What? I couldn’t believe what I just heard. “kaha hunchha?” I said. “Nahuna lai ke bha chha?” he asked. Yes, nahunalai ta kehi ni bha chhaina. I knew. Teknath asked me what I want to do? I did not say anything. I was not sure what can I do? Teknath left after a while and I went to that tikhe dhungo and sat to look at Mulgau. In that evening I could see a couple of pil pile light far somewhere. I thought my life is like that darkness and Indu is like that light, a weak light far away which is about to extinguish on me. I let my feeling run down my cheeks for a while and came back to my room.
After that, I thought there is no need to go to tikhedhungo and watch Mulgau. But still I did not stop going there. Before I used to sit with pleasure on that tikhedhungo but now I was sitting with pain. That was the difference.
Teknath asked if I would like to go to Indu’s wedding. I said , NO. What’s there for me to go? My best wishes are with her as always. What else can I offer? Besides what am I expecting? I am just an escapist passive lover. I got what I deserved.
On her wedding day, I sat on tikhedhuga all day long and also until late night visualizing her panche baja ghankido wedding.
Bihe aayera gayo, Indu came to my life and went away. I was still with Dahalbaje, bajai and hard working maildidi.
A couple of months later, Teknath came running in my room and said, “Indu ko logne ta mare chha”. I was speechless. “Gharbata pani allachhina bhanera nikaldechhan. She is back in Mulgau, now.” He said all in sad but sharp voice. I still couldn’t understand what he just said.
Tikhedhungo was my best friend there. It never quit on me. Good or bad days. After many days I went back to sit on that tikhedhungo and eknasle I was watching mulgau. I tried to visualize sad Indu in all white clothes. I could not. What an injustice!
Now, in a way I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible but then I also wanted to be around Mulgau. I wanted to go to Mulgau to visit Indu and express my condolences. I wanted to share her pain. I wanted to be with her. Teknath said my idea of going to her is not good. Then I asked Teknath if he could go there and see how is Indu doing. He was not enthusiastic about the idea but after my many many requests he agreed.
I could not sleep that night. It was a juneli raat. Arun sushai raheko thiyo. People used to say Arun susayeko is not good. I tried to go to sleep but couldn’t. I came out of the house. It was around 11 PM. Without really thinking much I headed towards tikhedhungo. I looked at Mulgau. Jun ko ujyalo ma I could see my Indu’s village. I remember her offering me mohi that day on her aagan. Made me even sadder. Teknath is there I knew. I was waiting for his return. I thought Arun pani Indu ko dukh ma susairahechha.
Came back to my room. Couldn’t sleep. Arun susai nai rahyo raat bhar.
Teknath came to tikhedhungo next afternoon to see me. He looked murjhayeko. I thought he is sick. “Ke bhayo? Birami bhaiyo ki kya ho?”, I asked. Tauko hallayera haina bhanyo. Ani ke bho ta? I asked. Ek dui minute yata uta ka koora pachhi he started to tell me how hard life was on Indu after she came back to maita as a bidhuwa. Her father, brother, bhauju all wanted her to go back to her house in Khadbari but she refused. She was not treated good there. They (her husband’s family) used to call her with “rachhesni”, “logne tokne”, “boksi” and all kinds of other bad names. They had made it very clear to her that there is no room for her return. She was not welcomed at her house and her maita was forcing her to go back. Teknath said, “her life was miserable in mulgau”. “Bihe garera jimma laisakya chha, utai jaanu parchha” Indu’s father and brother repeatedly kept saying that to Indu , Teknath said. He said he even heard her bhauju calling Indu allachhina. Indu and Allachhina? No way! I said.
Teknath paused. He just looked at me. I found him terribly sad. Ke bhayo? I asked. He went on, “Aasti raati feri Indu ko kura lai liyera kich kich bho. Then she agreed on going back to khadbari. So, yesterday early in the morning, Indu left her maita for home. I also left later on for here. As I was coming here I heard on Beltar that….” Teknath stopped. Mero chhati dhakka fulyo. Heard what? I asked. “On her way back Indu Jumped in Sabha khola, she is gone”…I couldn’t hear what else he said. I was stunned. I wanted to be alone.
I looked at deserted agulte hat venue, went back in time….the first time I saw her…her dress, her muskan, her unmukta haso…I started to remember her all over again. My heart revolted and from somewhere deep inside tears rose up. I was looking at Mulgau with my wet blurry eyes and as the first few drops of tears were about to rolldown through my cheeks, a white sapko of Indu’s saree came floating and covered my face with heavenly caress. I felt like fluttering white sapko wiped off my tears, I felt. “Indu”, I called upon her. There was no one. Just Deep, an extinguished deep. Alone.
|
| DHUMBASSE (DUMBASS) |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 03:00 PM
wah! kya ramro, Deep this is marvelous, I love it. You have done a great job man
maile ta Aadhyopanta padhe, ramro lagyo, pheri padhe , jhan ramro lagyo, pheri pani padhe, jahn ramro lagyo. jatti padhyo tetti ramro. GAJaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaBKO.
Sadhubad! Sadhubad! sadhubad! Timilai.
|
| Mitra 2 |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 03:09 PM
Deep, now I'm hoping it's not a real story. I was so excited earlier, and now I feel sad. Very sad. You're 'Guru Prasad Mainali' of our era. I love your stories, man! Aru.lai hasauna pani sakne (ranga.ko masu), dukhi banauna sakne, Nepali bhasa lai Angreji ma 'nipat' jastai mithas diyera ghusauna sakne, sahar dekhi gaun samma.ko paribes.lai aafno katha ma ootarna sakne yo yuba kathakar lai mero salam. Keep it up.
|
| shiva shiva!! |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 03:21 PM
College chanda Guru Prasad Mainali ko 'BIDA' Katha padheko jastai lagyo.
|
| SITARA |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 05:59 PM
Deep ji.........
Marvellous story!! I was wondering if you and oys_chill think of publishing such stories. The are very detailed and have a fine narration.
Thanks!! I feel sad for the main character (you?) though.
|
| apple_juice |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 06:12 PM
saying a good story narration would be an understatement!
i think it beats samrat upadhaya..may be u fellows should give it a shot..(publishing...
lookin' forward for some more..
deep ji
|
| Gazal |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 09:43 PM
Hi Deep :)
1. Loved the story.
2. Loved the place(in my imagination) wherever it took place.
3. Loved the feelings(umleko bains ko feelings).
4. Felt for the characters.
5. Loved Indu's innocence(awww bicharee shahariya sanga maskeki .....)
6. Loved the durbin bhaidyabhaye .....
7. Loved the way the story is written.
8. Loved the guy's sleepless nights.
9. Loved the Arun khola's salsal sushyayeko (euta khinna feeling though).
10. Did not like the GUY (DEEP) , thought he was hooti hara :(. Could not act according to his heart ......felt the guy Deep(not you) character a loser, Lost his first/second/third love forever....
Moral learned : You have to take actionnnnnnnnnnnnn,in some cases if you wait(do man bhayo bhaney) the ending could be disastrous (in case of Love)......
I pray: May Indu's soul rest in peace wherever she is!!!!
|
| oys_chill |
Posted
on 30-Aug-02 09:44 PM
apple, nice u commented samrat bro ;)
i gotta write to that dude..his stories have left me soo restless lately ;)
sitara ji, i am jus deep dai ko chela ;) .......yesto nightmarish schedule, moving in.......duh duh..life suxx...have lost track of my stories :(
deep dai, me too haven't read yor entire story at once..i will when these buggers get off my mind ;) ali when i really miss home..now that i am back in this *CRAMPED* cubicle :(
keep them coming deep dai :)
same ol #2 fan ;)
|
| sunnysideup |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 01:45 AM
Dear Mr. Deep,
I usually dont read much of those" longer postings" , however,i am glad i stumbled on this one.
The frame,the layout and the tone of your story is nothing new. However,what is mesmorizing and refreshing about "Alone" is its seemingly effortless depiction of our "gauns" and " gauleys". God, u know, when we (me and brother) were kids growing up in kathmandu, on every min pachas ko bida, our parent use to drop us off at our grandma's place, a hilly village on the outskirt of pokhara.For two whole months, my source of joy involved climbing tiju ko rukh and shaking its branches,early morning ritual of feeding paral to our bhaisis while yadav mama squeezed the milk out of her, and during the day, take a herd of cattles for grazing. why do i say all this? Amongst the herd of cattles, there was a goru who for unknown reason was always dear to me.Maybe it was that bright spot he had on his forhead contrasting his predominantly dark skin. His name was "Tare". Your mention of "Tare"goru just threw me on a nostalgic ride i had been avoiding for so many years.
|
| deep |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 06:50 AM
Oys_chill,
"well, by the way taskar bajaar kata neera cha?near dingla? ani tyo airport k re? tumlingtar ho? ..i wish someday i will go there and enjoy arun khola like you, for now, jus have memories of sunkoshi ;) "
Dingla is ,I think, is closer to Tumlingtar rather than to Taksar bazaar. My setting (where tikhedhungo was) was not right at Taksar bazaar but the nearest major bazaar was taksar. It was a good 5/6 hours walk to Taksar bazaar from Tikhe dhungo. tikhe dhungo was close to Arukharka. I did not use Arukharka because that is not a town, really. I will write again. hai.
|
| deep |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 06:51 AM
Oys_chill,
"well, by the way taskar bajaar kata neera cha?near dingla? ani tyo airport k re? tumlingtar ho? ..i wish someday i will go there and enjoy arun khola like you, for now, jus have memories of sunkoshi ;) "
Dingla ,I think, is closer to Tumlingtar rather than to Taksar bazaar. My setting (where tikhedhungo was) was not right at Taksar bazaar but the nearest major bazaar was taksar. It was a good 5/6 hours walk to Taksar bazaar from Tikhe dhungo. tikhe dhungo was close to Arukharka/charami. I did not use Arukharka/charami because that/there is not a town, really. I will write again. hai.
|
| SOULFREE |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 08:47 AM
Deep Bro!!! that was a great story. I didn't get a chance to read your remaining part of the story yesterday. But, I surely missed "Indu" all day long. Mu** Deep bro! Indu lai mu** kina marya?? haha...
i really liked that part of the final episode of your story where you wrote "May be I could see her, I thought, if I could get one of those star gazers. There were no discovery stores around to buy one of those. It would have been so much fun if I could get one of those telescopes. "... good one, found it so innocent. Mu** dai.
|
| jira |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 09:58 AM
deep bro ley Indu lai marera comedy lai tragedy ma change garee deyo. Thikkai cha! bhagya ko khela, ke nai gurna saukeencha ra!! I felt how how after she threw herself into the Arun river. Aru thoke gyrdya bhey nee ta huney nee....Maree halna ta hunna nee :-). Indu ko hubby lai marera kuslai chitta dukhya thyo ra!!
Je hose, story is great hai. I mean it. Lawu bro... keep it up.
|
| anepalikt |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 10:36 AM
Deep:
Truely, absolutely wonderful. You are a great story teller!
|
| ebony_firefly |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 11:49 AM
nice one deep bro
:)hmmmmm! reminds me of my own ,laahan incident:)
keep them coming:)feels good:!@
blac_
|
| .... |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 12:41 PM
Deep jee,
Nischalpan lai swikarna nasakda,
Badhyata ko bandhan ma badhina pugeki,
Ani feri krurata le pilsiyeki bela,
Paschatya parampara ko avash dina nasakda,
Unko biyog ma chatpataunu pareko prastuti,
Sajibta ka adhar baneka chan yenha.
Do write again!
|
| Suna |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 01:14 PM
Goosebumps!!!!!!
BRAVO DEEP!
|
| dukhi |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 02:09 PM
ko ho yo deep bro? majale amrika ma basi rako manchhelai ruwainai diyo. Man..........this is very nice story. I hope it was not a real story. deep jee pheri k aundai chha han? New York go yatra jasto ramailo ki alone jasto sad..............?
Dukhi
|
| ma_ekli |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 02:52 PM
kasto mannai dukhaaune katha ho....biyog le aashu nai jharne....katai saachi ko ta haina yo katha????
grt story DEEP keep on writing la.....
|
| Shady_CLowN |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 05:57 PM
hey whoever wrote the story... bro.. euta line ma explain garnu paryo.. too long .. got no time sorry la.. seems interestin .. jus gimmie the conclusion pleeeech...
jai nepal
SHady
|
| Nepe |
Posted
on 31-Aug-02 11:51 PM
Deep,
I read your story. It made me laugh. It made me sad. It made me nostalgic about the villages and the people I am familiar with. Man, you have a great style of telling stories in their indigenous settings. I could not agree more with Mitra2 calling you a Guru Prasad Mainali. My salute to your talent.
|
| Gokul |
Posted
on 01-Sep-02 09:05 AM
Deep,
Not responding to your story is either being as kathor as "dhungo" or as stupid as a donkey. You have definitely written a very marmik and yatharthabadi story about our gaun ghar ani tyo pani bado rochak tarikale. Your story seems more realistic to me because I am familiar with all those places that you mentioned in this story. In fact, Arun, Tamor, Mangmaya, MurtiDhunga, Jitpur, Chhumling, Hile, Chanwa all have special meaning for me. Thanks for reviving the fond memories of my childhood.
"Bhagya ko lahara ma lahari lahari
Punge yasa marusthala ma kasari
Tara kheda chhaina timro akriti
Lekhiyeko chha yo hridaya bhari" (Sidhhicharan)
|
| Biswo |
Posted
on 01-Sep-02 08:01 PM
Deepji,
It took long to finish your story, but as always, it is sooo good.
---
I think 'Deep' in your story was a calculating soul. Or he just wanted to love
that girl.
I think there is this kind of platonic love, which also exists in our country, where
boys want nothing but to look at the girl, and wish best wishes. These boys,
some of whom we all can see around us, want to marry the girl of their status
but love(but rarely express to) a girl they think they should love.
|
| oys_chill |
Posted
on 01-Sep-02 08:39 PM
Deep Dai,
Finally got to read the full story. Like you said, I had *goosebumps* throughout this piercing odyssey. Jus couldn't let my eyes go off the screen. Was very captivating. When You were writing this story, I was writing one on my gaun too, and mamali being bhojpur, I was wondering so many things bout those feral parts my mom used to talk about. With your visual details, I could find myself walking through those fields, riversides, tikhe dhungas, arun ko suskera and gadgadang.....was lost in my own time and space. I don't know the veracity of the story, but it does find empathy with typical village life all over Nepal. We all call ourselves FREE yet we are bound and chained by so many factors in life that we are only aware through our subconsciousness.
I thoroughly enjoyed the journey with you. Exactly what i needed for a respite from the schedule i have now. KUDOS TO YOur MASTERPIECE!!
chill oys
|
| deep's #1 fan |
Posted
on 01-Sep-02 11:50 PM
Marvelous story. You are a great story teller! Hope to read more.
same ol' deep's #1 fan
|
| deep |
Posted
on 03-Sep-02 10:15 AM
I would, sincerely, like to THANK YOU all for your comments.
I noticed many errors (grammatical and spelling) in "Alone". I apologize for all the errors and thank you all for understanding.
Comparing Deep with Honorable Guru Prasad Mainali is like comparing twin otter with concorde. However, I am grateful for the encouragement.
"ALone" is not just an imagination.
-Deep
|
| ugly duckling |
Posted
on 03-Sep-02 08:37 PM
No doubt it was a nice story. Nonetheless, I personally thought "deep" was a pathetic loser. He had two chances to make Indu his. But, all he did was sit on that stone and staring at Mugauli.
Deep ji.... no offence. I had to write how I felt.
|
| Paschim |
Posted
on 04-Sep-02 04:24 AM
I'm catching up on some long postings on Sajha after a gap of some weeks. Deep's story is so real, so utterly tragic...and those of us so familiar with life in the Nepali pahads know very well that, dramatic as his descriptions are, none smacks of exaggeration. Well done...kudos to you, to Arun khola, to Taare, to Tanki rukh, and to Indu's unmukta haanso. Longings, and unattained bliss...talk about them...
I think I commented on Deep's brilliant earlier story "marda ko chhora" that the protagonist "was damned if he had done it; damned because he didn't do it." I'll just modify the same message for Deep on this story: "Damned because he didn't do it; damned because he just didn't do it."
|
| deep |
Posted
on 04-Sep-02 12:45 PM
Deep has admitted that he was an escapist passive lover. He regrets he lost Indu. However, some readers are not truely understanding him.
It's not possible for me to marry everyone I like/liked/love/loved. There was a time when I used to like/love Sonali bendre, that woman playing Laxmi in a dharmik hindi cinema, tyaktor pachhadi baseki kucho laune keti.....but don't know what's up with them now. "Man (heart?)" is a very unreliable company. Deep's love to Indu was as consistent as the watermass in Arun but his wish to marry her was as unpredictable as the watermass in a khahare. Khahare dried but Arun is still flowing! I hope I made my point clear.
Deep is living with a vaccum in his heart. This is his penalty.
|
| bideshi |
Posted
on 04-Sep-02 02:16 PM
Finally got to read your sad but true story.WHat I feel is u r a loser,undecisive and a man without courage.It's very sad that indu had an admirer and loved ones like u.
Anyway,a very touching true story!
|
| Mangal |
Posted
on 04-Sep-02 07:27 PM
One more good story! Thoroughly enjoyed and felt sad at the end. And became more sader when came know that story is real. Perhaps, getting married is not easy (needs lots of thinking), whereas falling in love just happens. Deep bro, when will we get chance to read another story? No more sad stories hai! Next story must be full of Thukka M**** words and something about Chwankhs!
|
| deep |
Posted
on 05-Sep-02 08:38 AM
Love is not a vehicle that crashes at marriage. Love and marriage may be complementary to each other but not necessarily are substiututes. Love encompasses much wider area than marriage does.
What is a truth? Not all truths are limitless. Samething is true with reality. An incident is real only within it's limit.
Right now, it's 9:32 AM EST. Beyond EST, 9:32 AM is not true but the time is "true" regardless of the time zone.
"Alone" is a very sensitive incident for me. So, no @#%^, **** were allowed.
Bhang ko laddu khaisakya ek chhin pachhi oodu oodu lagya jasto lagi ra chha bina bhang ko laddu sathiharu/pathakharu ko sarhana ra tippani ko saujanya.
Thank you all.
|
