| Username |
Post |
| Diwas Khati |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 08:42 AM
I don't know what to make of this, if anything at all...
Binaj Gurubacharya's article "Relating to Relationships" (The Sunday Post, Sunday, April 22, 2001 Baishakh 09, 2058) has some major portions lifted from work of Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D. at http://www.innerself.com/Relationships/The_Four_R_s.htm
(Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D., is a popular media personality who is internationally recognized as an expert on relationships and personal growth. She is also the creator of "Making Love Work Seminars" and has several best selling books such as "Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know" and "Are You The One For Me?" The above was excerpted with permission from her book, "How to Make Love All the Time" ©1987, published by Dell Publishing, 1540 Broadway, New York, NY 10036. Barbara can be reached at: Barbara DeAngelis Corporation, 104 Centinela Avenue, Los Angeles CA. 90025. - from the above URL)
<<<>>>
Relationships don’t just fall apart overnight. There are warning signs to look for, signs that your levels of emotional tension are rising and that the relationship is in trouble. These warning signs are the Four Rs. The Four Rs encompass the four stages of tension in a relationship. You pass through these stages frequently, and if you don’t learn how to avoid them, the four Rs will turn into the four stages of the death of your relationship.
The Four Rs are: Resistance, Resentment, Rejection, and Repression.
It is normal to experience some resistance in your relationships with other human beings, especially those very close to you. Resistance occurs when you notice yourself taking exception to something another person is doing, saying, or feeling. You feel annoyed, critical, a little separate from them.
Resentment is a more developed state of resistance. Now you no longer feel merely annoyed by something your partner does — you can’t stand it! While resistance caused annoyance, resentment causes anger. You feel angry, critical, hostile, frustrated, unloving. At that moment you have begun to separate from your partner and retreat behind your emotional walls.
Rejection means separation: emotional, physical, or both. This stage of the Four Rs occurs when so much resistance and resentment have built up that it is impossible for you to be comfortable staying emotionally connected to the other person, and so you separate yourself from him or her.
Repression is a state of emotional numbness. You enter this stage when you are tired of resisting, resenting, and rejecting. You successfully repress all of your negative emotions, numbing yourself to them in order to be comfortable. You may repress your feelings consciously or unconsciously.
There is only one solution for preventing your relationships from moving through the Four Rs: The moment you notice some emotional tension between you and your partner, tell the complete truth about how you feel. If you tell the truth about feelings the moment either of you notice them, you will nip resentment and rejection in the bud. It’s a lot easier to resolve a small conflict than a big one that’s been brewing a long time.
<<>>
I hope the publishers take note of this....
- Diwas K.
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| Diwas K |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 10:32 AM
Oh.. that is not all....
Here is another section in the same article lifted from another website:
BEGIN_LIFTED_PORTION
Putting romance back into the relationship is even more important. For many couples, their relationship, after a while do turn stale and empty, and feelings of tenderness and passion are replaced with resentment and boredom.
There are a number of factors which are responsible for this phenomenon in committed relationships. First of all, it is crucial to recognize any unresolved resentments that are present in the relationship. Resentment is the cancer that will eventually eat away at the tender and loving feelings in a relationship. It is impossible to feel resentful and loving at the same time. Secondly, couples often take each other for granted as time goes on, and make the relationship a low priority in their lives relative to jobs and other activities. Thirdly, pleasurable and passionate activities which the couple used to engage in often drop out of the couple’s routine over time.
These issues can be resolved, though putting changes into practice requires some effort and commitment. Like resolving any past or present resentments. If you don’t know how to do so, learn how now. There is no greater gift for yourself or your partner than learning how to resolve conflict and resentments.
Creating special alone time for the relationship on a regular basis. This means time without TV, without computers, without distractions of any kind. Many couples find having a ‘date night’ once a week to be a fabulous addition to their relationship.
Review the things you used to do when you first met. How many of them are you still doing? Bring those activities back into your relationship on a regular basis.
Be willing to try new pleasurable activities. There is no reason why your relationship can’t be exciting, romantic and passionate.
END_LIFTED_PORTION
This one came from http://www.hopelessromantic.com/articles/Relationship_Institute/keeping_romance_alive.html
Shame on the shameless bAst_rd
-diwas k
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| Hari |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 10:52 AM
Does Nepal's Press associations (or even the Kathmandu Post) have any provision on stripping membership (or firing its reporters, in Kathmandu Post's case) for plagiarizers?
Hari
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| Diwas K |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 11:34 AM
another one.... I am getting a kick out if this.. sh_itface called Binaj...
from website http://www.parentsplace.com/expert/family/healthyfam/gen/0,9145,14799,00.html
PORTIONS
Effectively communicating with your partner is not a luxury, but a basic emotional need. Still, learning the lessons that experience teaches us is not always smooth sailing. The ability to see the problem is one thing, while the capacity to make a change can feel to be out of reach. When communication breaks down, partners are vulnerable to disconnecting from one another at the very time they need each other the most.
...
...
Mistakes happen in life, and the potential to learn and to grow from them is our biggest ally against future heartache. Getting to the bottom of a traumatic event in relationships requires our best efforts to use communication to rebuild trust and prevent future disconnection. Increasing our capacity to express our needs when in conflict or under pressure is a key factor in avoiding feelings in a way that damage relationships. Deeper understanding and communication are essential to fight the glitches in any relationship.
END_PORTION
disclaimer: I have no previous personal issues with Mr Gurubacharya. Anyone attempting to expertly interpret my comments are doing it at their own risk. I HATE outright thugs like Mr Binaj Gurubacharya, who gets a perverted pleasure out of lifting others work from the Internet (copy-pasting) and presenting it as his own work, in effect committing the cardinal sin of plagiarism.
-diwas
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| diwas k |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 12:02 PM
here is one for the readers...
go to the mentioned article in Sunday Post
open another window to http://www.parentsplace.com/family/marriage/gen/0,3375,10453,00.html
find the lifted material from the given URL in the Post article...
GOOD LUCK
-diwask
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 03:35 PM
Dear Diwas:
I think Mr Gurubacharya's attempt is disgusting. Plagiarizing is
the most heinous sin in literary world. Everybody wants to be
writer,but it takes more than wishes to be a good accomplished
writer.
Thanks for your attempt to enlighten us.
Biswo
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| Diwas k |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 05:23 PM
And Binaj is supposed to be an AP reporter, or sth like that...?
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| Gandhi |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 07:19 PM
Diwas-ji,
17 out of 23 paragraphs from the article match to four sources identified by you. Remaining 6 also do not seem from the head of the writer. TKP editors should be aware of this (you have the proof). However, I doubt of any punishment for wrong doers in our country.
Gandhi
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| Biswo |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 07:33 PM
Actually, there are instances of such punishments.
Garima and Madhupark don't publish the writer's article again, if
the article last published is found to be plagiarized, or
published somewhere else.
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| diwask |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 07:39 PM
Hari, Bishwo and Gandhi ji,
I am just thinking who he is trying to fool with this kind of work. I have been told that he used to be a student at a US college (Clinton's last college tour, nonetheless). He should be more aware of plagiarizm and ethics, if not familiar at the least.
I don't think it will be that big a deal in Kathmandu Post office. But to get something like this from a AP reporter is simply disgusting.
Care to share your opinion, anyone?
-diwas
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| Hari |
Posted
on 28-Apr-01 07:51 PM
A quick search on google.com produces a number of this character's articles that appear anywhere from the Boston Globe to the Washington Post (by virtue of his being an AP reporter).
Further down, there is a link to an US college: seems this plagiarizer came out of University of Nebraska, Kearney, Class of 1995.
Hari
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